A serious moment: After 8 years of working to present good advice, passing a few smelly farts has been a helluva lot of fun. Good on ya, EL, for a really fun topic.
OK, let's see here...
"Chinese cities vary a lot in basic product availability; other cities may not even have basic needs you can get in your home city. So when you travel, always carry as much as you are physically able, everything you could even possibly need or want."
"To charm a Chinese girl, rub her breasts counter-clockwise over a boiling pot of Yin-Yang hot-pot soup. Then, introduce yourself."