Just Like Mr Benn
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Posts: 380
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« Reply #30 on: January 12, 2012, 04:13:22 AM » |
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Just be open and honest with journalists. They're your friends.
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Raoul F. Duke
Lovable Rogue
Despot in Absentia
Gender: 
Posts: 9577
"Be specific if you order the mushrooms!"
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« Reply #31 on: January 12, 2012, 06:55:03 AM » |
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A serious moment: After 8 years of working to present good advice, passing a few smelly farts has been a helluva lot of fun. Good on ya, EL, for a really fun topic.  OK, let's see here... "Chinese cities vary a lot in basic product availability; other cities may not even have basic needs you can get in your home city. So when you travel, always carry as much as you are physically able, everything you could even possibly need or want." "To charm a Chinese girl, rub her breasts counter-clockwise over a boiling pot of Yin-Yang hot-pot soup. Then, introduce yourself." |
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"Vicodin and dumplings...it's a great combination!" (Anthony Bourdain, in Harbin)
"Here in China we aren't just teaching...
we're building the corrupt, incompetent, baijiu-swilling buttheads of tomorrow!" (Raoul F. Duke)
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xwarrior
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Posts: 1981
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« Reply #32 on: January 12, 2012, 11:54:56 AM » |
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Don't worry!
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I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them.
- Bette Midler
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Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
Gender:
Posts: 6724
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« Reply #33 on: January 12, 2012, 01:53:56 PM » |
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"To charm a Chinese girl, rub her breasts counter-clockwise over a boiling pot of Yin-Yang hot-pot soup. Then, introduce yourself."
Hey, wait a minute. I thought this thread was for bad advice. That's how I met my wife.  Remember, "Hello" in Chinese means "Please use me for your sexual pleasure and if I don't suit your tastes, I have a sister.", so take advantage of all those very friendly and open invitations.  |
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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psd4fan
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Posts: 575
在哈尔滨黑龙江中国
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« Reply #34 on: January 13, 2012, 05:52:31 AM » |
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Come to China.  |
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Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
Gender:
Posts: 6724
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« Reply #35 on: January 13, 2012, 06:58:08 AM » |
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Sneak up behind Raoul and . . . YODEL!!! He'll appreciate it.
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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babala
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Posts: 1243
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« Reply #36 on: January 13, 2012, 09:39:15 AM » |
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3000 RMB is a good salary.
I promise you that it will be done tomorrow, trust me.
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« Last Edit: January 13, 2012, 11:45:13 AM by babala »
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Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Homer Simpson
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psd4fan
Barfly
Gender:
Posts: 575
在哈尔滨黑龙江中国
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« Reply #37 on: January 14, 2012, 01:51:38 AM » |
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Traffice laws are rigorously enforced in China.
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zero
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Posts: 417
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« Reply #38 on: January 14, 2012, 02:36:42 AM » |
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There's no need to wash your hands before eating our touching your face in China. Everyone else washes theirs, so most surfaces are remarkably sterile and your risk of picking up germs is very low.
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Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
Gender:
Posts: 6724
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« Reply #39 on: January 14, 2012, 03:50:28 AM » |
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When you're cruising for girls at a bar, look for the ones with large hands and an adam's apple (bonus points if she's named Lola). Those are the best ones to take home to meet your family.  |
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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mkate
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Posts: 63
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« Reply #40 on: January 14, 2012, 07:09:03 AM » |
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After getting yelled and pursued by a police man: 1."Pretend you don't speak any Chinese" 2.(much quieter) "Shit, pretend you don't speak English either" |
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psd4fan
Barfly
Gender:
Posts: 575
在哈尔滨黑龙江中国
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« Reply #41 on: January 14, 2012, 07:24:34 AM » |
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Recycled cooking oil is healthier.  |
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Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
Gender:
Posts: 6724
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« Reply #42 on: January 16, 2012, 03:31:11 AM » |
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No countries really care about all those silly little details on visas, like duration of stay or whether or not you're allowed to work. Once you're across the border, stay as long as you like and get a job if you need one.
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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cruisemonkey
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Posts: 431
You could be next.
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« Reply #43 on: April 23, 2012, 09:54:28 PM » |
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Jump.
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The Koreans once gave me five minutes notice - I didn't know what to do with the extra time.
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Cassnadra
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Posts: 295
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« Reply #44 on: April 24, 2012, 02:14:36 PM » |
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Shellfish bought at the street market in Shenyang is always healthy and delicious.
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I'll tell you all my secrets but I'll lie about my past. (Tom Waits)
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