Your worst advice in 2 sentences or less.

Just go out with her a few times and if it doesn't feel right, break things off. Chinese girls are very understanding of this sort of thing.

Quit whining about floss! If the Chinese have gotten by without it this long, so can you.

Every Tuesday in China is "Naked Foreigner Day".  Show off your pride in being a foreign guest as well as your love for Chinese people by taking a nude stroll around town each week to celebrate.

1:If you want to improve your chinese get a chinese girlfriend.
2: Trust every foreigner you meet, we are all together and would never do anything to harm/cheat or lie to you.

Kevcom, I like No. 1 especially. The belief that a long-haired dictionary will be beneficial to one's language acquisition is incredibly widespread. and, in my opinion, incredibly false.

I disagree zero and kevcom. My "long-haired dictionary" has been incredibly beneficial to my language acquisition.

The key is that she doesn't speak English.

I agree about trusting people just because they are foreigners. That's just a stupid reason for trusting someone.

The higher a man's social rank is, the more aggressively you should flirt with his wife in front of him in public.  By doing so, you give him large amounts of face by indicating how desirable she is.

Bones...shmones.  Just take a bite and swallow.

"If the local climate is that important to you, consider looking for work in Chongqing.  It hardly ever rains for weeks at a stretch."

"You only thought you smelled burning when you stepped out on the balcony this morning to collect your laundry whilst noting you could but dimly squint through the malevolent orange-brown haze of a new day.  You will be happier if you tell yourself that blue skies only exist in photo-shopped pictures on the interweb and say something cheery like, "My land, it's foggy today!" whenever anyone passing you in the street coughs and expectorates a lungful."

The metro is a great place to hit on chicks.

No degree? No problem! Teaching in China is the safe, stable and profitable career for you!

Of course you can work illegally at a school in Beijing on an expired F Visa...No worries...The Chinese authorities are very clam and collected when it comes to foreigners breaking the law....

The Chinese authorities are very clam

Well, this helps explain the Chinese authorities I encountered.

Put that condom away. There hasn't been a case of herpes in a Chinese brothel since 1906.

Put that condom away. STIs are actually caused by 'Shang Huo'. Have you tried wanglaoji?