Your worst advice in 2 sentences or less.

You've had 2 whole years to recover from the last time.  Go ahead and take on the village drinking champion again.
 

If something scares you or is challenging, DO NOT DO IT.

After you push your long haired dog into the pond, make certain that you and your friends stand around very close to the dog laughing at it when it climbs out.  I'm sure it will just stand very still and allow itself to drip-dry.

(I really saw some moron do this yesterday.  He and about 6 or 7 other people got showered when the dog shook the water off.  LMFAO!!!)

Quote from: kitano on January 06, 2012, 11:09:13 PM

If you want to meet a nice girl just get drunk and go to a KTV!

And your second sentence?

Always asked the next morning:
Who the Hell are you?

Chinese wives are very understanding about the need to have a mistress  .

Medical procedures in China are inexpensive and discrete  .

If you are in the back of a Chinese police car and see a set of leg irons, go ahead and try them on.  The driver always has a key to those.

The metro is a great place to hit on chicks.

This turned out to be good advice for me.

Anyway... The Chinese are a very physical people. One way to show that you like a girl is to put your hands on her breasts.

Breathe deep.  Coal dust and second hand cigarette smoke are good for your health.

When you get off the train and walk out of the station needing a taxi in a strange city,it's best to wait to wait to be approached by the honest and helpful drivers parked directly in front of the train station. They won't rip you off by using the meter, they'll give you a friend's discount rate.

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Go ahead, make my day.

Refrain from holding conversations with imaginary people whether they be sitting, standing, lounging, reclining, leaning, prone or lying down. If you must have conversations with imaginary people avoid doing so publicly.

wasabi: it's just like guacamole, but a little spicier.

 

good one, Noles.

Wasabi is Japanese nasal decongestant. Just scoop up some and finger it into your nostrils. Close your mouth and inhale deeply.