I don't like to visit the States.
But...but...that 'Double Down' sandwichoid at KFC is mighty fine, and McDonald's just brought back the McRib!!!
No, seriously though... Fine. Stay up there in your frozen tundra, sliding your various-sized lumps around on the ice and getting down-and-funky to your Celine Dion and Bryan Adams albums. It's not like we really want any more of you Frostbacks running around down here, staring luridly at our women and being all polite and decent and self-effacing, anyway.
I mean, sure, our
Border Nazis Customs Agents are rude to YOU. Who wouldn't be? And
naturally we irradiate you as you slip across our borders. We're just trying to keep your numbers down, and this seems more humane than simply shooting you. Besides, how do we know one of your extremist fanatics of the Great Prophet Tim Horton (May Peace and Blessings Be Unto Him) isn't concealing a payload of Poutine in his underwear, ready to blow himself and his surroundings up at any time?
Why, they tell me that Southern California is just
CRAWLING with youse Maple Niggers these days.
Can't imagine why.
Frankly, I am appalled and embarrassed to have to admit that such an enormous proportion of my closest and dearest friends come from such an awful place.
P.S.: I do make one sole exception for Joni Mitchell, whose children I still hope to bear one day.
P.P.S.: