Sherlock from the BBC vs
Elementary from CBS.
If you haven't seen these, skip this post.Each one takes its own spin on modernizing the Sherlock Holmes tradition. Updating Holmes to the current year isn't as new of a concept as it seems. During WWII, there were movies with Sherlock Holmes foiling the Nazis.
Sherlock has epic, movie quality writing and production, but only 3 episodes per year. At 24 episodes per year, Elementary can't quite compete on the quality level, but more than makes up for this in quantity.
And now, let's let our 2 versions of Sherlock Holmes debate for points. To save time, we'll use S for the one from Sherlock and E for the one from Elementary.
S - I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary.
E - I prefer to strangle a corpse with my bare hands.
Point goes to S just for the quote value alone.
S - I have a mind castle.
E - I sit on the floor staring at the evidence.
S - I meditate.
E - I watch 10 TVs at once.
Tie - both Sherlocks definitely need therapy.
S - My parents are boring, normal people.
E - I never speak of my mother. My father is very rich and powerful.
Close, but S's parents stole the show when they appeared. E may yet recapture this point if we ever meet his father or mother.
S - I permit no distractions in my life.
E - I have one night stands with different women all the time to keep my mind clear.
Considering that at least one of his explorations involved checking a pair of identical twins for any possible differences, E definitively wins this point.
S - I have a network of homeless people assisting me.
E - I have a shadowy group of hackers assisting me.
S - I pay my assistants with small amounts of money.
E - I pay my assistants by performing bizarre acts of self-humiliation both online and in public.
Point goes to E.
S - Dr. John Watson is also a cute little hobbit named Bilbo.
E - Dr. Joan Watson is Lucy Liu.
No question that E wins this point.
E - I won't even admit it to myself, but I think I'm secretly in love with my Watson.
S - I'm also secretly in love with my Wats . . . Oh wait, I didn't say that.
Tie - there probably are betting pools worldwide on which Holmes-Watson couple will be the first to kiss.
E - I've had sex with Moriarty.
S - But I thought you were straight.
E - My Moriarty is Irene Adler.
S - WHAT?!?
E - Have you done it with your Moriarty?
S - Wait until next season to find out.
Point to E.
E - My brother owns restaurants and works for MI6.
S - My brother owns most of the UK government and MI6 works for him.
Point to S.
E - I'm a recovering heroin addict.
S - I could consume twice my body weight in drugs and my mind would overcome the effects with no effort.
Point to S.
S - My housekeeper, Mrs. Hudson, smokes pot, but is a nice lady.
E - My housekeeper, Ms. Hudson, is a ladyboy.
Tie - we have to wait at least one more season to see who's going to win the point for weirdest version of Mrs. Hudson.
S - I do foolishly dangerous things when I'm bored, and I'm often bored.
E - I do foolishly dangerous things when I'm angry, and I'm easily angered.
Tie - and another recommendation for therapy along with large doses of anti-psychotic medication too.