New unfriendly foreigners

In China, you need to look down at least some while walking.  Broken or missing manhole covers are frightfully common here.  Barricades and caution tape near those problems aren't.

funny how things change.... back when i lived in Tangshan ('04-06) Foreigners were such a rare species there that we'd go out of our way to find out who they were and maybe potentially hang out... granted, there was maybe 20 "westerners" in a city of 4 million.

In Beijing, there is pretty much no difference anymore... foreigner or not.. Laowais are a dime a dozen and in many cases more obnoxious / worst behaved than locals.. barely notice them anymore unless they're friends or their physical appearance stands out in the crowd

When i was teaching in Taiwan I found lots of good mates to meet with who were mostly South Africans (I'm a kiwi). We played soccer and went round the bars a lot. They seemed the most friendly and relaxed nationality around.
In South Korea i tried to make friends with North americans who just seemed to be self interested and some were actually quite nasty.
In China I once again tried making friends with who was around but it seemed the few that were, were oddballs really.
I liked having people to speak to and do things with in an easy going relaxed way but it seemed having a good time without alcohol wasn't everyones cup of tea. In China I gave up trying to be friends with fellow foreigners after a few bad experiences and concentrated on hanging out with any Chinese who speak english and do some stuff together. Being able to speak good Chinese would make life in China very good I think. Alas, I didn't get there.

My impression has been that many of the ultra-standoffish types are afraid that other foreigners may reveal their great deception; other foreigners will know that they're actually not "so handsome!" or "so clever!".

Haha, I like this. 

In my city, I don't say hello to every white person I see.  Nanjing has a huge international student population, I would say it is larger than the foreign teacher population.  There is a good chance that said white person is European and speaks English fairly well... but their Chinese may be better and they're probably here to experience China.  I don't like to be the arrogant American assuming every foreigner in China can and wants to speak English with me.

But, I do feel I'm friendly and approachable and will at least smile. 

Quote from: El Macho on August 27, 2011, 04:39:57 PM

My impression has been that many of the ultra-standoffish types are afraid that other foreigners may reveal their great deception; other foreigners will know that they're actually not "so handsome!" or "so clever!".

Haha, I like this. 

In my city, I don't say hello to every white person I see.  Nanjing has a huge international student population, I would say it is larger than the foreign teacher population.  There is a good chance that said white person is European and speaks English fairly well... but their Chinese may be better and they're probably here to experience China.  I don't like to be the arrogant American assuming every foreigner in China can and wants to speak English with me.

But, I do feel I'm friendly and approachable and will at least smile. 

Well, I did smile and nod at a laowai yesterday, and he gave me some useful information; a bit like greeting characters in a computer game, so maybe there is something to be sad for this socialisation thing. I shall continue my experiment on more laowais and see if it continues to produce favourable results.

However, I have always taken the attitude that I should be a major celebrity, and that the general populace should scream and get excited when they see me, but under no circumstances attempt to talk to me or make eye contact. On the whole, living in China has indeed been quite accomodating in that delusion, so of course I do resent any interference in my fantasy.

It's true.  More people = more unfriendly people.  But what the hell!  Just hang out with the smokers and drinkers and avoid the missionaries   

PS, apologies in advance for any sensitive soul who gets upset by my ourageous generalisations.  (Maybe this should be my signature?)

I had an epiphany the other day to suggest why some seem so when confronted with others. Maybe just maybe they do not want to appear weak by admitting they are new. By trying to look like they fit in and know whats going on they are hoping to seem more knowledgable than they actually are.
I met this one foreigner who had been in town for less than a week and he was telling me all about speaking chinese( which was all wrong), how to teach( I have been at it for six years, he had done his ESL certificate) and what who to stay away from( I guess he heard that the bar we were at was a gangster bar, which I knowfor a fact is not). As I sat there fuming with disbelief I just could not get over the size of this guys cahones. Who was he to be telling me all these things?
At least now i am a little more understanding, not that I am going to go out of my way but maybe I will in the future be less ticked off when i run into a newbie.

China definitely seems to have lots of oddball foreign teachers!

I was in Korea before and I think the stricter vetting procedures there have kept most of the real weirdos out (though Korea has its fair share still).

I personally greet any foreigner I see around with a smile and a 'hey', just because that's the treatment I expect from others.

The biggest alarm bell for me though upon meeting a new foreign dude who I am sizing up as a friend is when he/she doesn't ask any questions back. If the conversation is all one-sided, generally the person you are speaking to is really very odd (in my experience anyway).

I was quite surprised when I moved to China compared to Korea where the vast majority of the teachers that I met were people from Canada, US or UK (and for some reason a couple of small towns full of Irish people) who had just finished college or university and were usually doing it for the experience or to save up some money

In China the teachers that I met are generally much older and a much higher proportion are from poorer countries, or older, or impossible to imagine functioning in their home countries

It could just be because I am a bit older and don't teach children anymore, but I prefer broad generalisations personally...

I have adapted to the culture very well...

When I see a foreigner, I whisper 'laowai' to my friends, and then run up and say hello to see if they speak English.

A girls gotta' have a little fun.

If they don't find it entertaining, we're probably not going to be good friends.

I never go out of my way to meet other foreigners, and don't quite understand the whole expat scene thing. I just seem to have a completely different experience to others my age who seem to drink a lot and socialise while I just spend time with the wife and her family either in the city or the countryside.

I never go out of my way to meet other foreigners, and don't quite understand the whole expat scene thing. I just seem to have a completely different experience to others my age who seem to drink a lot and socialise while I just spend time with the wife and her family either in the city or the countryside.

You just haven't met the foreigners in Changsha that live in a similar way to you.

Like me for instance.

Maybe we're all too busy not meeting any other foreigners to meet any other foreigners...

I,m standing out the front of a little coffee shop in downtown Fu Zhou yesterday afternoon when i hear the dulcet tones of pure strine. I turn and see an older woman (Older than me and i,m 45) talking on her phone. She's lost and cant find her friends. i saunter over and give her a "g'daymatehowyagoing?" her answer? "WHAT THE F**K DO YOU WANT?" Somewhat taken aback i proceeded to fire back at her all sorts of good Aussie vernacular shocking and surprising the 30 or so Chinese who had decided to stop and watch the duelling lao wai.
Wifey turned up and so i bid my new friend 88 in no uncertain terms and went into drink coffee and eat cake.
5 minutes later in walks the cow and nice as pie asks me can i help her find way to where she's supposed to be.
2 minutes later she's in a cab and heading in the totally opposite direction.
Does this make me an unfriendly foreigner?

I live in a neighbourhood close to a school called york, which is pretty well known for hiring tourists and short timers to work there. The reason i say this is cause I often see newbies on a regular basis and usually they make no effort at all to even ackknowledge my existence. Now i really dont care too much but it does make me laugh at how uncomfortable they seem when they see/ignore me.
afew weeks ago I was in a bakery closeby the school and 2 foreigners were in it as well. i made eye contact, then said helolo and was ignored. I had seen them a few times in the area so it wasnt like this was the first time they had ignored me. what was funny though was a few days after I wntto a party they were at. The hostess introduced me to them and the woman was apologetic and gushing bout how they were busy or whatever. I just shook my head and walked away. I have no idea how these people think but it seems that as soon as they touch down here in china rules of civility go out the window.
If I had to choose only one complaint about living in this country it would be the other foreigners that live here. Take away all the flakes, douchebags, liars and braggarts and I truly would love living here.
I had a good idea that people sucked before coming here but after nine years of being here i have no doubt in my mind that if I was to never speak to a non native chinese person here again my life would be a whole lot better.