Jokes from my trashbin

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #600 on: June 05, 2009, 06:42:56 PM »
Hey, I'm a member! Yahoo...

So to celebrate..

A Japanese guy in Seattle goes to the bank and exchanges 100,000 Yen.
(Please pardon me here, I haven't a clue what the current exchange rates are).
He gets 72$.
A week later he goes back and exchanges 100,000 Yen again.  He gets 68$.
So he says to the teller, "Last week, 100,000 yen - 72 dolla; this week, 100,000 yen - 68 dolla.  Why?"
The teller says laconically, "fluctuations."
The Japanese guy has a look of complete shock on his face.  Finally, he manages to say,
"Well, fluck you Amerlicans too."

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Schnerby

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #601 on: June 05, 2009, 09:40:49 PM »
 uuuuuuuuuu

I sprayed water out of my nose. Thanks very much.

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George

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #602 on: June 05, 2009, 10:14:39 PM »
Better than spraying beer!
The higher they fly, the fewer!    http://neilson.aminus3.com/

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Schnerby

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #603 on: June 06, 2009, 10:59:29 PM »
Correct! Beer and lemonade can be painful when sprayed from the nostrils. I think it's the bubbles.

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synthette58

Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #604 on: June 07, 2009, 01:45:04 AM »
Re: Beer..........here's a few interesting laws:

The top 20 barmy booze laws from around the world (Daily Mirror, UK, 6/6/09)

With news today that drunks stopped by South Wales Police are to be offered a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire-style quiz as a way to avoid an on-the-spot fine, we look at other barmy booze laws from around the world.

1. Remarkably, it still remains illegal to be drunk in a pub or club in the UK.

2. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.

3. In Houston, Texas, somewhat confusingly, beer may not be purchased after midnight on Sunday, but can be purchased anytime on Monday!

4. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.

5. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

6. In Scotland it is illegal to be drunk and in possession of a cow.

7. In Alaska it is illegal to give alcoholic beverages to a moose.

8. In Texas it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer whilst standing.

9. The entire Encyclopaedia Britannica is also banned in the Lone Star state, as it contains a formula for making beer at home.

10. In Switzerland, although it is illegal to produce, store, sell and trade absinth, it is legal to consume it.

11. In Nebraska it is illegal for bar owners to sell booze unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

12.  At Dublin’s Trinity College, students can demand a glass of wine at any time during an exam, provided they are wearing their sword.

13. In North Dakota beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

14. Although the French wine, "Fat Bastard," is freely available in 22 states in the US, both Texas and Ohio have banned its sale within their borders. (note: it IS available in Canada - well, Nova Scotia anyways.....)

15. In the US the word "refreshing" is banned from use in adverts to describe any alcoholic drink.

16. In Pennsylvania, no man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

17. Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household rubbish containing even a single empty beer bottle can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.

18. It is illegal to sit on any street curb in St. Louis, Missouri, and drink beer from a bucket.

19. In 2008 an Iranian court sentenced a 22-year-old "hardened and incorrigible drinker" to death for breaking the country's ban on drinking alcohol for the fourth time.

20. In Iowa, a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife, or holding her hands. It’s also illegal to start a tab at a bar.

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Stil

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #605 on: June 07, 2009, 04:40:07 AM »
Quote
6. In Scotland it is illegal to be drunk and in possession of a cow.

This has lead to a lot of divorces in Scotland.

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synthette58

Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #606 on: June 07, 2009, 04:52:40 AM »
Quote
6. In Scotland it is illegal to be drunk and in possession of a cow.

This has lead to a lot of divorces in Scotland.

WELL, Whoopdee do!.......what about 'in possession of a squirrel????'.............what sayest thou, Eric????
(we won't even go near the 'massage' palaver..........now that's just damned perverted...)
 aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao

(and, 'scuses folksies.....I've had wayyyy toooo much baiju this eveningski...........hic hic!)........just watching Ken Burns "Jazz"........and 'the joint is jumpin' (god....Paddyfields will be happy to move!!! YaY.....death to 'Diva's' eh, what???)....

....hic.....

PS: ....blonde hair dye source, anyone??
(I suck even worsoe as a brunette dinosaurus........)

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George

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #607 on: June 07, 2009, 05:28:09 PM »
The higher they fly, the fewer!    http://neilson.aminus3.com/

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Schnerby

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #608 on: June 07, 2009, 07:07:41 PM »
I likes.  ahahahahah

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George

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #609 on: June 12, 2009, 02:57:58 AM »
The higher they fly, the fewer!    http://neilson.aminus3.com/

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Stil

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #610 on: June 16, 2009, 12:20:15 AM »

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George

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #611 on: June 16, 2009, 12:33:51 AM »
Chortle, chortle.
The higher they fly, the fewer!    http://neilson.aminus3.com/

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synthette58

Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #612 on: June 16, 2009, 07:53:13 AM »
hilariously sick, and, sad but true, WAY closer to the truth than we all dare to mention. And - don't we all know one??

 agagagagag

PS: for the enlightenment of Eric........

Q: What do you call a rhythm guitar player without a girfriend?
A: Homeless

 bhbhbhbhbh

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DaDan

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Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #613 on: June 17, 2009, 07:57:25 AM »
can't explain `Why...
me pappy sayd... 
Once ya get past the smell... ...:P ... `You got it licked...

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synthette58

Re: Jokes from my trashbin
« Reply #614 on: June 17, 2009, 08:16:57 AM »
okok......he stole it from Trudeau......true blue Canuk he was........

Cunni Lingus was always an Irish Airline to us lesser mortals.
May we stand, in our touks, as one nation, corrected......
 agagagagag

Kim whatsisname's response,.........
Boom, frikkin' Boom! Mwaaahahaha....
 bhbhbhbhbh