Jokes from my trashbin

A blonde, brunette and red-head jump out of a flying plane.... who lands last and why?

Who?

Since its a blonde joke, I'd say her. She probably got lost

One day, the Lone Ranger was riding across the plains of the old west, when he is captured by Natives. The tribe puts him on trial for crimes against the Nation, and he is found guilty. "You have been sentenced to death," said the Chief, "but, as is our custom, you have a last request."

The cowboy thought for a minute and said, "Well, I'll need my horse Silver."

"Give him his horse," said the Chief. The Lone Ranger whispered something into the horses ear, and the horse took off like a shot across the prairies. Twenty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful naked blonde woman on it's back. The Natives all laughed nowingly. The Chief thought, why not, he's going to die anyways. The Lone Ranger looked at this, shrugged his shoulders, and helped the young lady off the horse like the gentleman that he is. He then took her into the woods and had his way with her.

Then the Lone Ranger went up to Silver and punched him right on the nose. "I said POSSE you stupid horse!"

A blonde, brunette and red-haired jump out of a flying plane.... who lands last and why?   

My guess is the pilot.

Ummmm....bw....this may well be a classic joke, but repeating the question 3 times before giving the punchline could be construed as a tad excessive








Please, put me out of my misery, and give me the answer.....

Monk, if you had bothered to read my email in the other room you know already know that I have trouble posting.  When I post, sometimes it does not show.... I sent a messages asking if it was my system or yours... but 1 day now and no answer.

The answer......

The Blonde would land last..... why?  she had to stop and ask for directions.   

The answer......

The Blonde would land last..... why?  she had to stop and ask for directions.   

How is this different from

Since its a blonde joke, I'd say her. She probably got lost

Monk, if you had bothered to read my email in the other room you know already know that I have trouble posting.  When I post, sometimes it does not show.... I sent a messages asking if it was my system or yours... but 1 day now and no answer.

Refresh the page or go back to the Saloon homepage work your way back to where you were.  That way you'll know if your post really made it or not.

Quote from: bwlewis4444 on June 21, 2011, 09:08:42 AM

A blonde, brunette and red-haired jump out of a flying plane.... who lands last and why?   

My guess is the pilot.

 

The Bank of Montreal was running a recent Password Audit and found Stevie O'Toole using the following password: "MickeyDonaldMinnieGoofyDaffyBugsElmerPlutoOttawa"

When Stevie was asked why he had such a long password, he replied:

 

"Lord t'underin geesus!  Are yez blind er' stupid?  I woz told me password had to be at least 8 characters long wit' one capital"

 

A party official dies and goes to heaven.

On arrival God is unhappy to see him, 'This place isn't for you, I think Hell is better suited for you', and sends the party official back down the stairs.

The Devil welcomes the official and all is fine for a couple of weeks.  The official, however, begins to irritate the Devil.  The Devil decides to pop upstairs and have a word with God, hoping that God will take the official back, 'He's ruining everything, he's even trying to make everyone a 'Young Pioneer'!' God kindly agrees to take the official back.

A few weeks pass and the Devil is curious to know how God is getting on with the official.  He pops upstairs to find out what has happened since they last met, 'God, how did things work out with that party official I sent back up to you?'

God, a little bit peeved, turns to face the Devil, 'The name's Comrade God!'

A party official dies and goes to heaven.

Sounds like Harry Pollitt:
http://sniff.numachi.com/pages/tiPOLLITT.html

Monk, if you had bothered to read my email in the other room you know already know that I have trouble posting.  When I post, sometimes it does not show.... I sent a messages asking if it was my system or yours... but 1 day now and no answer.

The answer......

The Blonde would land last..... why?  she had to stop and ask for directions.   

May I suggest you put that one BACK in the bin, go and sit in the corner, and have a jolly good, hard, long think about what you've done.

Listen Up!







Very Short Story

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out window, PIG!
Man yells out window, BITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

Thought For the Day:

If men would just listen

MEXICAN  OYSTERS ... A  big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming  around in Mexico.

While  sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking  platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good,  the smell was wonderful.

He  asked the waiter, "What is that you just  served?"

The  waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are  called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this  morning. A delicacy!" The  cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an  order." 

The  waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per  day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come  early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this  delicacy."

The  next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that  evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.  After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter  and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than  the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The  waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor.....Sometimes the bull wins. "