you know you have been in china too long when..

I spat these out onto a Group at Facebook:


You understand that it's vital to doing business to go drinking with some bigwigs from the army.
...as well as the local government, the Party, the police, and whichever bureau regulates your industry.

You've seen every Western movie since you came here, but couldn't name 3 recent Western songs

You can recite a dozen things that are better here than in your home country, other than "Your chicks are hot and horny".
You've given up defending Japanese people. (Not quite, but I know the futility of it!)
You've given up opposing an armed invasion of Taiwan.

You can order at least 3 vegetables that have no English name.
You've heard a dozen great ideas for new businesses, and come up with a few of your own, but just can't be bothered to pursue it.
It hasn't occurred to you that you could get your damage deposit back.
You have had a thick set of quilted pajamas crafted for lounging about your apartment in the winter months.
...and they're warmer than your coat.

You see a woman jogging in high heels and shrug.
You carry chopsticks around with you when you go home.
You'll read a Danielle Steele novel and be grateful for it.
...and then, 4 months later, read it again for lack of anything else.

You have weekly contests with your friends for "Sluttiest T-shirt slogans I saw".
You no longer use the word 'it'.

You've forgotten how to use a dryer.
You feel like a slob drinking beer out of the bottle. (I feel too 'fancy' drinking beer in a glass!)
You routinely order a cup of hot water.
You would be astonished if a restaurant wouldn't allow you to bring in your own beverages.
You accept that a cup of coffee costs the same as 8-12 gigantic bottles of beer.

You own at least one pair of red underpants.
You once went 5 days without showering, and no one seemed to notice.I was camping!)

These are definitely getting closer!!

You'll read a Danielle Steele novel and be grateful for it.
...and then, 4 months later, read it again for lack of anything else.

Guilty, M'lud!!

I gave my girlfriend an honest-to-gosh Danielle Steele novel a few months ago. I wonder if I can borrow it?

You read a six year old copy of Cosmopolitan magazine (nice ads!) because you conclude it's likely the only English magazine you'll see until you return.

You see a McD's and you think "hey, I could go for some upscale American cuisine right about now!"

An hour after you spent 20 RMB on a cup of coffee at Starbuck's you go to a local restaurant and pass on a side of rice to save 2 RMB.