The first few months, see China as a Planet, not even as part ofwhat you commonly know as Earth. Don't treat the Chinese as aliens, but realize that they do things different than you. Sometimes you don't understand why. I spent the first two weeks or so talking to Chinese people, hashing out reports I heard from home and getting to know them. By getting a feel for some of the people can guage what you think of the population at large.
My first city in mainland China was a provencial city in Zhejiang called Dongyang. I was the only foreigner of a "town" of one million people. I am in the middle of nowhere, at least in my perspective. I want to explore the region outside my school.
I would suggest to any foreigner wanting to come to China, to first live in a city, a provencial town. Away from all the comfort zones. You want to live in China, live here. Live among the people.
At first, my boss didn't want me outside the gate without an escort. The school was more or less 2 kilometers from the city center of the city, and he did not want me to "go into town by myself". No matter than I am a big (well fat and slow) guy of 250 lbs. or more who can handle himself physically if anything happened. I have never felt unsafe among Chinese people. If anyone were to rob me, there would be 10 witnesses to the police, people just casually watching "da pangzi" walk down the road.
What things that will come clear is that all the Chinese people are different, but they are all caught in a stiffling vortex of norms and rules. Every Chinese seems to do the same thing, reach the same answers. Independent thinking is not awarded like in the west. China is monoracial and monocultural. In 5000 years, the Chinese have accepted absolute power and authority. Democracy doesn’t work here. I had a drink conversation with a Chinese who was young and fluent in English who told me this. Upon research and my everyday life, this is very true. Chinese work best when they have one voice. Taiwan for 30 years was under the control of Chaing Kai Shek, (who was Zhejiang-nese) and his son. Chiang and Mao agreed that China needs to be a unified nation under their control. No debate. Now the lure of money has somewhat put these two factions back together. Many 50 years from now the two sides will come together. Profit is more important than political ideology
The big thing in China in crime is theft. Don't leave anything outside. This is why I don't own a bike or an e-bike. I have been broken into twice in nine years, although in both cases, I am 90% sure it was an inside job. If you have an apartment with a steel door on a high floor, you should not have any worries.
I have not been back to the USA since April of 2001. I really would not know what to expect if I came home. I think I would feel like the Jimmy Stewart character in that Xmas film “It’s a wonderful life” that everything changed for the worse because I left. I am a believer that if one person comes to or leaves a place, that they have let their marker that would not have been there if they were never there.
There is a refuge of other foreigners in the big cities, mostly in their so called foreigner bars and place that they feel safe. The bar is a refuge. It has been mine. But it should not be your home where you bitch and moan about them while they serve you 40 kuai drinks. But again, to hear you bitch makes them know that you are adapting here in Zhong Guo.
I love living here in China. I love Chinese people. I really do. I occaionally have sex with 1/1,500,000,000th of the population. Occasionally.
They are usually a very nice people. They are highly intellegent and inquisitive. Many of us fall in love with them and have families. It’s mostly Chinese women and western men but I have seen western woman and Chinese men before in very successful marriages.
This is a website that tells the story of an Austrian woman who married a Chinese man that moved to my wife’s village before 1949. This woman moved with her husband to rural Zhejiang and suffered through through the bad times of mid 20th Century China. Through the very worst of it, this woman would not leave her husband and kids, even when the government welcomed and allowed her too. She would rather eat tree bark and grass with her husband and family than to leave. Screw the hassles of those of us with Chinese spouses to stay in China, think of her plight. I always thought this would make one hell of a movie. I met this woman a few years before she died. I, my wife, her and about four other Chinese knocked on her door. She opened it and was almost shocked to see a white (fat, German looking) white boy among Chinese see has seen for the past 60 years. I wish to hell I could of said in German “Hi!, I am your grandnephew Rolf.” Fortunately, my short sided humor was dislodged by my non knowledge of German language. I don’t think she has ever seen blue eyes in a long time.
She was fascinating however. She was Chinese. The woman assimilated. She was a blue eyed Chinese. She only spoke German and dialect. I am sure she knew a lot of Mandarin (because she was Austrian and European) but when I met her, I could not tell the difference. I loved her farmhouse. I was still in exploration mode and it was fascinating that another Alien has been here 50 years before me. I was so arrogant, I thought I was the only Westerner in many places
I admired her. She had children in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Having interracial children during that time must have been a special hardship. I can’t imagine what the kids went through. The kids still live in Dongyang. I would love to interview them. I know the Austrian woman had children, and the kids stayed in the local area. I don’t know how many or what sex, but at least one of the children married a local Chinese. Now, did the local Chinese family look down and this 1/2 Chinese, or were the brides and or grooms children of parents who knew the father was a great and good man and had no problem. I don’t know.
Chinese tend to have respect for any foreigner who can speak their language at a good level. This shows intellegence in the community, and it also shows that person’s ability to live in their community. You speak my language and are able to live in the community is valued.
The website of the Austrian woman. Note that she was attracted before him:
http://www.china.org.cn/english/NM-e/38979.htmThey are a tough people. They are not a people prone to violence unless you really, really piss them off. I am not cotton candying the situation here. Many of the people might piss you off. They are not angels. They have their own egos and desires. They will inconvenience you and mess you around if it is to their favor. Chinese enjoy negotiation and expect it. Be stong in what your wants are, but be expected to comprimise. This is business or personal relationships. That is the par of the course here.
Lastly, in my Star Trek vien………………….
If Aliens came to Earth, and wanted to know from us, which culture and race would be considered the “most human” of us, I would nominate the Chinese. The Aliens would study opposing reactons at the same time, and seeing Chinese might see that humanity might be crazy and best left alone.