Dodgy ads straight from my mailbox

<In this post, comments in RED are by the OP and comments in YELLOW are by Raoul. >

Please, Raoul, if you want to move this post, please feel free to do so, I was unable to post a new topic on the Dodgy Ads Thread.
Right. Please see below, or refer to the Introduction thread of the Dodgy Ads board.

I wanted to post an ad that came right into my mailbox today:

Start Your Adventure - Teaching in China

PROGRAMS: 2011/2012 ACADEMIC YEAR (All of China)

2011 Spring SEMESTER (All of China)

July, 2011 ONE MONTH SUMMER (Hangzhou City)

FU2 Education Consultancy and Management Co. Ltd. (FU2) is now offering you a Teaching Position for both the Academic year 2011/2012, or the Spring Semester term and a One Month Summer Program in Hangzhou with our Company subject to the receipt of the following documents:

Copy of Passport, Degrees, if any, Two Passport Size Photos, and Two Letters of Recommendation addressed to FU2 Education, Bumfuq, China

It is important that you provide all of these documents as part of your application.  China is very document orientated, and a School or School System will rarely review your application until your Document Package is complete.  A complete Document Package is also a sign of professionalism and commitment on your part.

FU2 provides Teachers to all of the Schools Systems, both public and private throughout China.  Most of our placements are in Shandong Province.  In your response, please indicate whether you are interested in the Summer camp, Spring Semester or Full Academic Year.

Note: a one month Summer Program in Hangzhou for July, 2011 would be nice in that you could participate in this program, then spend about a month traveling in China before you begin your fall teaching in September.

You will work directly for FU2, and we will place you in a local school program as follows:

(1)    You will teach 18 to 22  hours per week (Your weekends are free)

(2)    The Class Size will not exceed 45 Students.  In most cases it will be much smaller, especially if you are teaching an adult or older class.

(3)    We will provide you with local housing and meals or meal allowance

(4)    If your accommodations are not close to the school, transportation will be provided.

(5)    Your monthly salary will be between 3,000 - 6000 RMB (The average monthly salary in Shandong Province is 1,200 RMB).  Please read Statement about Salaries which is attached.

(6)    Accommodations and Food are provided immediately upon arrival.

(7)    Bonuses of 4,000 RMB are paid for completion of each four month teaching segment (This is generally considered to be international flight reimbursement).

(    Your salary begins when you are assigned to a school, and continues as long as you are teaching in our Program.

(9)    You will be paid pursuant to the Chinese Schedule so you will be paid in full during Chinese Holidays.

In addition to the above specifics, we also offer the following:

(1)    The issuance of a Teaching Contract which you will need for your Visa.

(2)    We will assist you in obtaining your Visa including providing you with the necessary documents.

(3)    Airport Pick up and Orientation

(4)    24/7 English Speaking Staff for support both in our Offices during the work week as well as evenings and weekends.

(5)    Participation with staff and locals for dinners and social functions

(6)    An ongoing volunteer Mandarin Program

(7)    Upon successful tenure with us we offer a lifetime Professional Reference Letter

(    We also offer Fee Based TEFL Certification at our Facilities here in Qingdao.  This is not a requirement for your employment, but it is available if you are interested.

(9)    There are opportunities to earn additional money, especially on the weekends.  You will have to choose between “more money” or “free evenings and weekends.”

(10) As a participant in our Program you will have access to the following opportunities:

a.       Additional Studies in China

b.      Additional Travel in China

c.       Interaction with the local academic community

d.      The Possibility of “staying” on with us in management/supervision both in China and other Countries.

Our company combines the advantages of working for a company with both Eastern and Western traditions.  You are paid promptly and are treated as part of our family.  We deliver what we promise.  If you are interested in joining us here in China, please let us know immediately, and we will forward an Employment Contract to you.

We look forward to having you on our Staff here in China.  It is an experience of a Life Time.   Please respond to dontcontactthisshithole@bmail.com.

Sincerely yours,

Idi Amin,

Presidente-For-Life

This is my favorite part:
A NOTE ABOUT SALARIES

Salaries are can be a source of confusion and misunderstanding for people who are considering a teaching position in China.  It is important that you aware of the following.

(1)   Teaching in China should not be viewed as a source of financial enrichment. You should come to China for the experience.  The experience will add invaluable richness to your life, and it will certainly improve your ability to command higher earnings in future employment.

^^Is that true? Hehe, I have never gotten that memo!
It IS true that teaching in China will NOT make you rich. But teaching in China not only isn't likely to be beneficial in other future jobs elsewhere...it can even mark you as a dangerously unstable mutant and be a DETRIMENT to a career...

(2)   When comparing teaching opportunities, compare the Program, NOT the salary.  There are many Programs here that people would “pay” to be a part of. There are also many Programs here that you “cannot pay” people enough to stay in them.  Research the “Internet” to learn more about this.
This, on the other hand, is complete self-serving bullshit.

(3)   Compare the Total Financial Package, including housing, food, bonuses, incidentals, etc.

(4)   And, compare the “Cost of Living” Factor.  Beijing and Shanghai are not inexpensive cities.  Your salary will go farther in some cities than others.

(5)   In general, be watchful about salaries.  In China, the Salary posted and/or promised can change.  Insist on a written contract, and be sure to research the opportunity to make sure you have a valid offer from a reliable party.

In other words, avoid THIS opportunity like the plague.

Woah. Prime example of the "genre", if I may say.

Shit salary? - check.  Your standard of living unfairly compared to subsistence farmers? - check. Normal everyday stuff, that has nothing to do with job, school or recruiter, presented as 'perks'? - check.  "You should be glad we are giving you this opportunity"? - Check.

 

Participation with staff and locals for dinners and social functions

Holy crap...you mean I get to have dinner? And socialise? With other people?  Where do I sign?!?!?!?

With this and that other school that got busted trying to post here I am starting to wonder if things aren't getting worse for FT's in China.

Yup...this is a Dodgy Job Ad, all right...and you guys have pointed out a lot of its problems.

- It's a masterpiece of weasel language. It says a lot without really specifying (and therefore without being accountable for) very much at all. And in some cases the vague wording itself DOES say a lot...for example, those harmless-sounding words about "helping you with your visa" translate as "We ain't paying squat for the documents or the process of getting them...in fact, we aren't even promising to do all the Bureau legwork for you!" And the first group's #8 (which translates here as ( ) is really saying that if they don't currently have an assignment for you, they get to hang onto you without paying you until they DO get some work for you!

- There's a certain amount of "Winning Through Intimidation" happening here...they're trying to make you feel so lucky to have this opportunity, that you won't notice how lousy it really is.

- Notice the amount of Justifying they're doing here...always a danger sign in itself. Again, they're saying "Hey, this might be a shit job, but it's really GREAT shit!"

- They're presenting some scary numbers as being perfectly reasonable. For example, think about that "no more than 45 students" claim. Do you really want a class, especially a private class, of 45 9-year-olds?  And they're presenting a salary range of 3-6K as an acceptable condition, when for a job with provided housing this can be the difference between doing OK and just barely eking out a miserable existence. 3000 RMB per month is unconscionable for ANY full-time job, anywhere.

- They're falling back on that dumb comparison to "average local salaries", which as is pointed out elsewhere here is EXTREMELY misleading.

- They're glossing over the fact that this is a recruiting agency, not really a direct employer. They're just farming you out to other schools. The fact that you work directly for the recruiter might indeed give them a bit more incentive to deal more consistently with you, but it also obscures the fact that they're keeping the (often likely very considerable) difference between their own salary structure, and what the schools are actually willing to pay for you.

- They're also glossing over the fact that since you're being farmed out, they reserve the right to have you constantly out shagging back and forth to umpteen different locations...which can be pretty uncomfortable and can in itself eat up a lot of your time and energy- without paying you for it.

- They're even pretty vague about where you'll end up living. The ad starts off talking about the rather nice city of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province, but goes on to mention that most of their positions are actually 2 provinces north, in Shandong Province.

- These sweethearts are even giving you the chance to net EVEN LESS of their money, by offering you a completely obscure and likely totally worthless TEFL Certificate program!

And I could go on and on. This ad doesn't really contain much that's new in the way of dodgy advertising techniques...but it is sort of a monumental grand-slam package of ALL the ones we've covered.

By the way...yes, we don't allow members to start new threads in the Dodgy Ads board. We want to make sure the ads truly do belong there so that reference board isn't cluttered with questionables that might obscure the points we really want to get made. (And, of course, we DO allow members to comment on the ads that are placed there...) We prefer that ads posted there each illustrate some new technique to be aware of. We also want to edit out the names and contact info, to protect the goofy, the clueless, and the attention-deficient.
The indicated method is to PM or e-mail a Dodgy Ad submission to the Admins, and let us do the rest for you.