Purchased a D-LINK DIR-822 Dual Band 11AC 1200
300 migglejiggles in the 2.4GHz range; up to 8 billionty eleven in the 5GHz range. (Figures may be altered at the time of publication). Tomorrow when Pigman the China Mobile Technical Butt drags is fireplug self up all those stairs to, duh, issue a new password, I'll find out if it actually works. My first dual band router! If publicly accessible signals are any guide, it's the first one on my block.
Why D-Link, you ask? Because, it would seem, they always have the option to clear language packs. When you buy the router, it'll be in Chinese language, but if you can find your way to the system tab and thence to the "Clear language packs" button, then violoncello, you'll have a (perfectly ugly) English language web interface for managing your newest tech afterbirth.