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Author Topic: Getting married in two weeks  (Read 2030 times)

dongbeinanren

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Getting married in two weeks
« on: September 25, 2014, 01:09:30 AM »
Does anyone else feel that the wedding, and the period before the wedding, is designed to make the bride and groom a miserable as possible?

In all seriousness, though, my wife has been acting like a mad woman, freaking out about every little thing, and getting angry at the drop of a hat.  Is this gonna end after we're married and living together?  Or is this wifey's true colours, which she had managed to keep hidden from me for the three years before we got our certificate?

English Gent

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2014, 07:53:54 AM »
so you didnt live with your wife before marriage? what are you, Chinese?!
If she's psycho now it gets worse....you see the nutters in the street, wife and husband smacking eachother about for no reason and you think 'jeez, glad thats not me....'? well it is you, just not yet!
a happy marriage needs many things, mostly it needs serenity.

Just Like Mr Benn

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2014, 07:59:44 AM »
Impossible to say. Couples worldwide get stressed out by weddings. On the other hand, it is a stereotype probably based on a crumb of truth (and a host of disaffected laowais) that Chinese women change after marriage.

How does your prospective mother-in-law behave towards her husband? That might give you a clue.

Tree

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2014, 09:19:55 AM »
Mr. Benn is right in both a) impossible to say and b) how do her parents act?

Good luck man! I'm going to go have another ceremony in Korea next week because my MIL feels the need to have a Korean one. Looks like we are both in for an interesting month.

 agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
The greatest and most important problems of life are all in a certain sense insoluble. They can never be solved, but only outgrown.
- Jung

dongbeinanren

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2014, 04:51:57 AM »
Her mother is nothing but kind (if a little bossy) toward her husband.

I think she's just stressed out and I have a bit of cold feet.  While we've technically not lived at the same address officially, we've been de facto living together for more than a year.

dongbeinanren

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2014, 11:39:00 PM »
Thanks, El Macho.  You're probably right.  My Chinese is, in my own opinion, quite good.  But having to plan something of this enormity and complexity was beyond my linguistic abilities.  My better half has likely been under all kinds of stress I don't really know about or understand.

Here's hoping!

Granny Mae

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2014, 12:12:39 AM »
Dongbeinanren, I expect that it comes down to accepting the cultural differences and also about your insight into the behaviour of the opposite sex. To be perfectly honest with you, my life experiences show me that I, for one, could never accept this type of behaviour in the person I had chosen to spend my life with. I could never accept this as "once of" type of behaviour and would always be waiting for the next episode or when there is no longer being any need to try to hide the real person underneath.  My observations are that many people make excuses for the other person and I believe that this is why so many people divorce and often more than once.  If you were my son, I know what I would be feeling about this. Perhaps you should sit down with a sheet of paper and work out the pros and cons as if you were an onlooker. I wish that I could help you mate, but I suspect that your path is being set by others.

Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2014, 02:09:49 AM »
Did you survive the wedding? mmmmmmmmmm
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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dongbeinanren

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2014, 12:57:30 AM »
Survived the wedding.  Hurt my foot very badly just two days before, and had to wear a slipper on my left foot for the ceremony because I couldn't put on a shoe.  That was honestly just about the only hitch, though. 

Getting used to living with someone for the first time in more than a decade now (yes, we had to do this Chinese style.  Trust me, I would've done this differently given the choice, but I wasn't).  Stuff isn't where I expect, and synching morning routines is a bit tough, but overall it's going well!

Thanks for everyone's kind and helpful words!

Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2014, 09:51:32 AM »
Congrats on surviving the wedding! agagagagag

I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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Granny Mae

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2014, 10:23:50 PM »
I wish you all the best dongbeinanren. agagagagag

psd4fan

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2014, 03:16:07 AM »
Where ya at?
I'm in harbin and have been happily married for over five years. Get along well with the stepson and have a 28 month old son/ monster/ angel/ pile of trouble/darling.  akakakakak

Tree

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2014, 04:25:08 AM »
I've been married a few years and still don't like to share the blankets - you'll make it work just fine!

 agagagagag agagagagag
The greatest and most important problems of life are all in a certain sense insoluble. They can never be solved, but only outgrown.
- Jung

piglet

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Re: Getting married in two weeks
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2014, 01:16:29 PM »
30th wedding anniversary coming up.The last period has had its ups and downs.. retirement,moving countries twice, sick parents,but if you are committed and manage to give each other space when you both need it,you will be fine. Good luck mate. bfbfbfbfbf
For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord