• Home
  • Search
    •  
  • Login
    • Username: Password:

      Did you miss your activation email?

Author Topic: Chinese Apartment Maintenance  (Read 3173 times)

Guangzhou Writer

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 703
  • Can using chopsticks
Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« on: May 22, 2013, 01:45:48 PM »
Tonight's installation of Chinese Apartment Maintenance is on plumbing. I am batting 1000% for water hoses busting on every place I've lived in China. Tonight my under kitchen sink main hose erupted, but I know where the water closet for my floor is and rushed outside to close the valve to my apartment. May as well have been toting at windmills.

So, with all my prodigious might, I closed the larger valve feeding all 6 apartments. This reduced the leak in my kitchen about 90%. I redoubled my efforts. 95%. Best I can do without fear of destroying the crappy valve.

I sorta figured that if I cut off the water to six apartments that people might come outside and take a look, or maybe call maintenance and someone would come to check. Nope.

Wait, wait, someone emerged and turned the water back on. Thank goodness!
Formerly gzwriter

Guangzhou Writer

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 703
  • Can using chopsticks
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2013, 02:05:53 PM »
The fellow who turned the water back on is some kind of handy-man/shifu/plumber and he went back into his apartment and got a new hose and a bag of tools, and fixed the problem.

Before he started working I had to turn the main valve for the floor back off and I gave it a little extra power so he wouldn't have to fight any water pressure. I was so happy when he was finished and he needed me to turn the valve back to open because he wasn't quite strong enough. See, that was my part in the operation. I'm not useless, LOL.

What a guy! Truly, he rocks. I paid him 20 RMB for the hose and offered him some Kahlua, but he refused. Times like this I wish I could speak Mandarin with cool cats like that.

For anyone who lives in China and doesn't know where the water cut-off valve for their apartment is, I suggest you discover its location.  bfbfbfbfbf
Formerly gzwriter

BrandeX

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 1080
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2013, 07:07:53 AM »
I had this problem once, with a small diameter hose under the sink. Jamming a chopstick in it curt most of the flow until "help" arrived.

(Guy later cut the new hose to length with my good steak knife after I had left the scene.)

piglet

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 1681
    • Piglet's House
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2013, 12:26:35 PM »
Ah yes how many uses can we find for the humble chopstick,eh? ahahahahah
For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord

Guangzhou Writer

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 703
  • Can using chopsticks
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2013, 02:24:36 PM »
I had this problem once, with a small diameter hose under the sink. Jamming a chopstick in it curt most of the flow until "help" arrived.

(Guy later cut the new hose to length with my good steak knife after I had left the scene.)
Any kind of Chinese maintenance person, from bicycles to pipes, you must completely clear the area of anything you don't want them to use, sully, loosen (and leave loose), etc. Friendly guy last night decided to grab my white, muslin dish drying rag on his way out in order to clean his hands. Luckily, his hands weren't dirty or he didn't wipe too hard.
Formerly gzwriter

Day Dreamer

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 4433
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2013, 02:55:30 PM »
Any kind of Chinese maintenance person, from bicycles to pipes, you must completely clear the area of anything you don't want them to use, sully, loosen (and leave loose), etc.

Man almighty what is it with that? Sorry buddy, but the embroidered white silk scarves are not to be used to clean the bottom of your feet!
For you to insult me, first I must value your opinion

cruisemonkey

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 1219
  • You could be next.
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2013, 08:24:20 AM »
I won't let the maintenance guys at my uni's faculty apartment building touch anything to do with the plumbing. They are like retarded chimps working with bailing wire & chewing gum; and they usually leave anthing they touch worse than before (not to mention a complete and utter wet, dirty shit-house mess).
The Koreans once gave me five minutes notice - I didn't know what to do with the extra time.

Guangzhou Writer

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 703
  • Can using chopsticks
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2013, 10:16:34 AM »
That's how I feel about my bicycle, but I can't do some things on my own. I have five years of stories about bicycle maintenance.
Formerly gzwriter

Day Dreamer

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 4433
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2013, 03:35:55 PM »
That's how I feel about my bicycle, but I can't do some things on my own. I have five years of stories about bicycle maintenance.

I have only two years about my motorcycle. But at least they're good ones.

I've been blessed that I've never (knock on my melon) had to worry about apartment maintenance. If they came with their own clown/3 ring circus music, at least you could sit down with a bag of popcorn and enjoy the show
For you to insult me, first I must value your opinion

Canadapanda

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 87
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2013, 02:12:32 AM »
I won't let the maintenance guys at my uni's faculty apartment building touch anything to do with the plumbing. They are like retarded chimps working with bailing wire & chewing gum; and they usually leave anthing they touch worse than before (not to mention a complete and utter wet, dirty shit-house mess).

Speaking of university apartment maintenance, a friend of mine had her entire window fall off its frame.  When the people finally came to fix it, there was MORE broken glass EVERYWHERE than when the window fell off.  They then proceeded to trek glass all over her apartment.

A-Train

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 1272
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2013, 08:51:39 AM »
No one has mentioned the inevitable cigarettes.  I don't think they can see unless their vision is partially blocked by smoke and squinting. 

I locked myself out of my apartment a few years back and my landlady had no spare key. They sent the "locksmith" over whose most useful tool was the BFH with which he pounded the living shit out of the steel door until it surrendered.  Interesting part was that he was not allowed to "work" on my door unless there was a policeman directly overseeing him.  But then no one-man job can be completed by less than two.
"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore attempt the impossible and achieve it, generation after generation.

Pearl S. Buck

eggcluck

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 365
  • Still standing
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2013, 03:36:53 AM »
....
« Last Edit: April 29, 2014, 02:48:09 AM by eggcluck »
Still standing

tinkerscuss

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 17
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2015, 05:01:37 PM »
Most Chinese door locks can be defeated in under 15 seconds with a tiny screwdriver and a few square inches of plastic bag.

I wont elaborate on the details. A Chinese locksmith let me watch him do it.

Scary.

cruisemonkey

  • Barfly
  • *
  • Posts: 1219
  • You could be next.
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2015, 08:10:59 AM »
No one has mentioned the inevitable cigarettes.
... and the lugies deposited on your floor along with the cigarette butts.  ahahahahah ahahahahah
The Koreans once gave me five minutes notice - I didn't know what to do with the extra time.

tinkerscuss

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 17
Re: Chinese Apartment Maintenance
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2015, 10:33:16 PM »
That's where, again, chopsticks are an indispensable tool!  ahahahahah

Now, where to buy an autoclave to clean the chopsticks.