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Author Topic: Date. Saturday Night. Help.  (Read 21793 times)

yli

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Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« on: July 20, 2012, 01:18:18 PM »
Story:

0.) I am socially inept and useless, or at least I believe that to be the case. Apparently, women are attracted to me. I have always found this to be mind boggling.

1.) I met this girl on the subway. She is well out of my league.

2.) My roommate (who's Bengali and not Chinese) started talking to her. She doesn't speak English at all so I translate for my roommate.

3.) We talk for a while. She leaves me her phone number and tells me to call her. Note that I didn't ask her, she just gave it to me.

4.) My roommates put me up to calling her, so I do. I manage to ask her out by telling her that I'm new to Beijing and that I would like for her to show me around. She says yes despite the fact that I woke her up (she was asleep already) I'm supposed to meet her at Wudaokou at 10 p.m Saturday night. I might change it so that the festivities start earlier.

5.) Did I mention I just moved into my apartment, which is a fucking mess? I can't take her back to my place if she asks me to.

6.) What the fuck do I do?

zero

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2012, 01:35:14 PM »
What is the real question? You just go. Maybe dinner, coffee, a walk, things like that. Is the concern that you are socially inept? In those cases, a low-talking activity such as a movie can be good, although that kind of defeats the purpose of "showing you around." Some people open up after an alcoholic beverage, but it's also easy to overdo that, so I can't recommend it. To be honest, a little fear is your friend. It keeps you acting neutral and nonoffensive and keeps you from making that off-color joke when you first meet someone. I imagine it is built in evolutionarily so that we don't drive off potential mates.

As for the concern about your apartment being a wreck and not being able to bring her back there. This seems discordant with the concern about being socially inept... At any rate, I can't see why there would be a rush to bring her home the very first night. It's not a 40-yard dash. Get to know her first.

ericthered

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2012, 01:52:29 PM »
Well..uhm...here is what you do:
1. Go to supermarket. Purchase garbage bags, lots of garbage bags. Disposable rags, various versions of Mr. Muscle, more rags, perhaps some bleach, toilet cleaner, quite possibly new toilet brush, large bucket, mop, new broom and dustpan.
2. Go home. Put good music in whatever music playing dohicky you have. Choose an area of apartment and get to tidying. Throw out anything broken/useless. Deposit bags outside as they fill up. Tidy, tidy, tidy. Then it is time for Mr. Muscle and the rags. Then it is time for sweeping and the dustpan. Then floor cleaning. Especially the bathroom should be spotless. Basically, imagine that your uptight wealthy aunt with a Howard Hughes-like approach to dirt is coming over and she is going to update her will. Dirt makes her angry and she is bringing white gloves...
3. Go meet the girl. True, there is every chance that she will not return to your domicile but, as my granpa always said, you should always leave your home ready for entertaining unexpected female company...my grandpa was a...a...err...the word is playa/player or some such  agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." Oscar Wilde.

"It's all oojah cum spiffy". Bertie Wooster.
"The stars are God's daisy chain" Madeleine Bassett.

Just Like Mr Benn

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2012, 02:28:32 PM »
I am so sorry, but I'm confused about the nationalities and languages in play here.

This is all because different cultures have different rules. If she's Chinese and doesn't speak English, then you must speak Mandarin, so surely you're acquainted somewhat with the rule book for dating Chinese women.

Anyway, the point of a first date is to find out about them. The chances are everything you think she is, she isn't. It might be a nightmare. It might be the most exciting night of your life and put everything else in your life into a new context.

However, (assuming she's Chinese) play it safe. No trying to hold hands, no kiss goodnight. Just get to know her. The risk of her thinking you're gay will be more than offset by the risk of coming across as a typical laowai. If she doesn't speak English, then it seems improbable that she's your run of the mill laowai stalker who wants to have babies with you because they;ll be beautiful and thinks that all <insert your nationality> men are <insert stereotype>. If she's showing you around, then she'll come up with a plan which remove the annoying necessity to think or make decisions.

Are you Chinese? If so, we can't teach you all our barbarian magic by Saturday. We're bred from birth to be superior love Gods.

If you want help, give us some mf background.


ericthered

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2012, 02:46:50 PM »
This could also not be a date...You might find yourself in the presence of x number of giggling Chinese girls and propelled into the mind-numbing tediousness of the hell that is KTV...So I highly recommend you ask her directly if this is a one-on-one thing or if she is brining an entourage of rapid-fire Chinese speaking gal pals. If indeed she is, you are better off staying home and cleaning IMHO.
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." Oscar Wilde.

"It's all oojah cum spiffy". Bertie Wooster.
"The stars are God's daisy chain" Madeleine Bassett.

Fozzwaldus

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2012, 02:48:39 PM »
Are you Chinese? If so, we can't teach you all our barbarian magic by Saturday. We're bred from birth to be superior love Gods.


 ahahahahah ahahahahah
两只老外, 两只老外,跑得快,跑得快,
一个是老酒鬼,一个是老色鬼,真奇怪, 真奇怪

Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2012, 05:00:44 PM »
Fill your wallet with cash.  Pick her up and tell her that where you go and what to do is totally up to her.  Try not to cry too much as your wallet quickly moves from full to empty. ahahahahah
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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Granny Mae

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2012, 08:59:35 PM »
I really feel sad when I read all this. alalalalal  I know that the world has changed a lot and that I am old, so I hope you guys will understand where I'm coming from. What on earth would you gain from a date with someone you couldn't really communicate with? Yeah, I know that there is an obvious answer!  bibibibibi

opiate

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2012, 10:53:03 PM »
I don't understand what you are worried about. Why do you think she is out of your league? It is just a woman. I find your lack of self confidence a little troubling. China though, can do wonders for a mans self confidence and ego...I wish you luck.

I would not recommend you modify your behavior in any way. If you want to hold her hand...do it. If you want to kiss her...do it. If she wanted to date a Chinese guy, she would not have given her number to you so no need to try and act like a timid Chinese boy. Just be yourself, whatever that entails. If she likes you...great. If she doesn't...not a problem. There are millions more.

Do not take this thing so seriously. Relax and have fun.

The Local Dialect

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2012, 12:40:04 AM »
I think the OP is Chinese - American. He was born in China but raised in America since early childhood, so culturally he's just as American as he is Chinese, if not moreso. He speaks Chinese well because of Chinese parents but did not grow up here. Make more sense?

Borkya

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2012, 03:28:24 AM »
I really feel sad when I read all this. alalalalal  I know that the world has changed a lot and that I am old, so I hope you guys will understand where I'm coming from. What on earth would you gain from a date with someone you couldn't really communicate with? Yeah, I know that there is an obvious answer!  bibibibibi

Actually, as a freshly single person with only an elementary level of chinese, I find dating to be the best way to practice my chinese.

A person has to be slightly patient to be willing to spend a couple hours talking chinese to me, and local people, like shop clerks and restaurant owners, don't have much time. But a date is the perfect opportunity because, yeah, there is a little more incentive to be attentive to each other right?!

And its nice to know you can't fall back on english (which is what happens if you try speaking chinese to your students, or other chinese teachers) if you go out with a local person.

And if its a really good date,  afafafafaf then you yearn to improve your language skills even more. Dating is way better motivation than say, a final exam or classwork.

Plus, it sounds like the OP can speak chinese, he was translating for a friend and talked to her on the phone.

yli

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2012, 05:29:31 AM »
I think the OP is Chinese - American. He was born in China but raised in America since early childhood, so culturally he's just as American as he is Chinese, if not moreso. He speaks Chinese well because of Chinese parents but did not grow up here. Make more sense?

Bingo.

kitano

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2012, 06:50:46 AM »
Get drunk beforehand to overcome shyness

Turn up in the clothes you slept in last night to show that you aren't a 'try-hard'

Make a point of staring at her breasts and so on to make her feel appreciated

Talk about yourself a lot

After about 30 minutes ask her if she wants to come back to your house to 'party'. If she says no offer her 100rmb to sweeten the deal

 ababababab

yli

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2012, 07:45:28 AM »

After about 30 minutes ask her if she wants to come back to your house to 'party'. If she says no offer her 100rmb to sweeten the deal


Remember, my apartment is a dump, I'd have to pay a minimum of 5000 RMB to get her to go with me if she knew just how filthy my domicile was/is.

Also, no time to clean, I work work work work work.

Stil

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Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
« Reply #14 on: July 21, 2012, 12:04:17 PM »
She liked the guy she met on the subway. Be that guy.

Make some decisions. Don't keep asking her what she wants to do.

Stop reading this, so that you are not late. Make sure she is not waiting for you. You wait for her.