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Author Topic: Things other expats do that drive you insane  (Read 35970 times)

Escaped Lunatic

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Things other expats do that drive you insane
« on: May 06, 2012, 06:08:06 AM »
Ever seen one of your fellow expats do something (or keep doing something) so utterly stupid or despicable that you wanted to . . .

a.  aaaaaaaaaa
b.  bababababa the idiot
c.  die of embarrassment
d.  run away screaming
e.  all of the above
f.  other

Here's your chance to unload on those who go out of their way to bring shame on all things foreign here in the Big Silly.

I'm pro-cloning and we vote!               Why isn't this card colored green?
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MK

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2012, 06:59:47 AM »
1. The 'Indignant Laowai' - Folk who regularly lose their temper (or even get violent) due to any of the small cultural differences we all have to deal with - you know it's coming, you choose to live here, and you know you are not going to change an entire culture, so enough with the little temper tantrums.  And certainly don't get me involved in an entirely avoidable fight that YOU started, OK?

2. The 'Self Identified "ZhongGuo Tong"'. They know more about China and Chinese culture than you, and they want to let you and everybody else know about it.  Can even be found lecturing their students and Chinese 'friends' on all subjects Chinese.  Why yes, this person is from Nanjing, I am sure there is only one subject they really want to talk about...

3. Similarly, the 'Language Expert'; often they have pretty shitty basic Chinese but somehow believe they are fluent, and insist on demonstrating this false belief at any and every opportunity, even when it's clear the person they are talking to has excellent English and is clearly not understanding them.   Even worse is when they will randomly 'intervene' in a conversation to 'translate' for you without being asked...this actually happened to me once when I was talking to my GF in English and some ass-wipe decided we needed help...  bababababa
« Last Edit: May 06, 2012, 08:40:25 AM by MK »

Fozzwaldus

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2012, 08:30:51 AM »
Even worse is when they will randomly 'intervene' in a conversation to 'translate' for you without being asked...this actually happened to me once when I was talking to my GF in English and some ass-wipe decided we needed help...  bababababa

oh man, what a dick.

may I add:

Newspaper Goggles Laowai -

is a real China watcher, reads about China constantly in western publications, and then applies this shrieking hysteria to his every interaction with a culture that he misinterprets at every turn. really can't believe that the Chinese haven't risen up yet. often lectures his class on inappropriate topics.

Disgruntled Western Woman -

is super bitchy to Chinese women for a variety of reasons, from perceived passivity and conforming to gender stereotypes, to just getting more attention from the western males.

Happy Clappy Newby -

'if you don't like it you can always go home'

Overly Negative Long Stay Burnout -

really ought to go home, but is stuck in a loveless marriage or has no prospects back in the west

两只老外, 两只老外,跑得快,跑得快,
一个是老酒鬼,一个是老色鬼,真奇怪, 真奇怪

psd4fan

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2012, 08:47:01 AM »
1. Talk about how "awesome" Shanghai is because of all the expats.
2. Mention the best thing about Shanghai is the Bubba's BBQ joint that serves the best brisket.

If those are your reasons for loving a place get the fak out and go back from whence thou slithered.
An ex co-worker posted these on her FB page.  aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa

babala

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2012, 10:49:20 AM »
The foreigner who insists on correcting my Chinese.

The Canadian who constantly feels the need to America bash.

The foreigners who are convinced that since someone here told them they are beautiful/good-looking then it must be true.

Guys who are with a Chinese woman who doesn't speak the best English and make degrading sexual remarks to her that she doesn't understand and then laugh with their friends.

Guys who will give you a hard time for dating a Chinese man but yet they date Chinese women.

Guys who brag about going to the hooker bars (really, you think having to pay for it is something to be proud of mmmmmmmmmm

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Homer Simpson

The Local Dialect

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2012, 01:21:44 PM »
To add to the Zhongguo Tong/language expert, the guys who insist on speaking in Erhua-yin ALL the damn time, even when they aren't in Beijing and it is completely inappropriate. His close cousin is the asshole who speaks to other foreigners in Chinese. All the time. He has also been known to introduce himself to other foreigners using his Chinese name, which is usually something douchey. Met a guy the other day whose Chinese name was "shuai ge." You're awesome dude, really.

The guy who is just here for the girls. Remarks often and loudly about how Chinese women are so much more __________ (insert favorite trait here) than Western women. Fetishizes Chinese women and lumps them all together making remarks like "Chinese women really know how to take care of a man." They also tend to have an irrational hatred for Chinese men and will make remarks about penis size and how Chinese women never go back to Chinese men after they've had a "real man." Often has a Chinese girlfriend who he can't communicate with. Extra points if he met her in a KTV or a disco.

The "Orientalist." Wears Chinese cut suits and has a house full of crappy scroll paintings. Is learning Chinese calligraphy, the erhu and Tai-qi. Probably lives in a courtyard house, or wishes he/she could. Considers himself a Buddhist and makes offerings at the temple. Has fully embraced Chinese traditional medicine, gets accupuncture and medicinal massages and has even gone in for cupping a few time.  It is important to note that any one of these things on its own is not irritating, it is embracing everything traditionally Chinese or "exotic" that crosses the line into objectification. Funny you never see these guys into long pinky nails or state controlled media or big stupid hairbows or struggle sessions, huh?

Fozzwaldus

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2012, 03:33:40 PM »
The guy who is just here for the girls. Remarks often and loudly about how Chinese women are so much more __________ (insert favorite trait here) than Western women. Fetishizes Chinese women and lumps them all together making remarks like "Chinese women really know how to take care of a man." They also tend to have an irrational hatred for Chinese men and will make remarks about penis size and how Chinese women never go back to Chinese men after they've had a "real man." Often has a Chinese girlfriend who he can't communicate with. Extra points if he met her in a KTV or a disco.

The "Orientalist." Wears Chinese cut suits and has a house full of crappy scroll paintings. Is learning Chinese calligraphy, the erhu and Tai-qi. Probably lives in a courtyard house, or wishes he/she could. Considers himself a Buddhist and makes offerings at the temple. Has fully embraced Chinese traditional medicine, gets accupuncture and medicinal massages and has even gone in for cupping a few time.  It is important to note that any one of these things on its own is not irritating, it is embracing everything traditionally Chinese or "exotic" that crosses the line into objectification. Funny you never see these guys into long pinky nails or state controlled media or big stupid hairbows or struggle sessions, huh?

yes and yes. although (unfortunately) the former is much more common than the latter.

big stupid hairbows I don't get this reference

struggle sessions do these still happen??? (sorry, I might have missed out on some irony here)

两只老外, 两只老外,跑得快,跑得快,
一个是老酒鬼,一个是老色鬼,真奇怪, 真奇怪

The Local Dialect

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2012, 04:00:14 PM »
The big hairbows seem to be the big fad here among the 19-20 year old girl set. My niece and all her young friends wear them all the time. I was trying to think of a Chinese fashion fad and that's what came to mind. Probably not the best example. Maybe I should have said skin colored calf socks or black gloves in 35 degree weather. ;)

Struggle sessions don't actually happen anymore (or else some of the people mentioned in this thread would be in trouble), but then neither do Chinese people wear tang zhuang unless they're taking wedding photos. China is all fun and games ... until you find yourself in the airplane position with a placard around your neck.   

MK

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2012, 04:03:42 PM »
Quote
...house full of crappy scroll paintings...

Uh-oh....well, I bought them when I first came and they still fill a space!  I also have a lot of dragon/nature/Buddhist themed tourist tat...I can't help it!

The Local Dialect

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2012, 04:15:49 PM »
LOL, MK, I'm guilty of having a few scroll paintings too. My husband hates on them all the time, says he could do better paintings, that those people are hawking their crappy paintings on the street for a reason, and that's because they're shitty artists and foreigners just don't know any better because we're all like "oh sweet, a painting of an old guy and a mountain, so authentic!" Have you ever noticed that if Chinese people have scroll paintings they're either sentimental, because someone's grandfather did them, or they're totally badass paintings that definitely did not come from the 20RMB bin at Liulichang (not that I have any direct experience with said 20RMB bin mind you ... )?

Fozzwaldus

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2012, 04:38:24 PM »
China is all fun and games ... until you find yourself in the airplane position with a placard around your neck.   

put that shit on a tshirt
两只老外, 两只老外,跑得快,跑得快,
一个是老酒鬼,一个是老色鬼,真奇怪, 真奇怪

George

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2012, 06:34:43 PM »
Teachers who drop all articles when talking to Chinese.....Did you take bus? Where is railway station?....etc!
The higher they fly, the fewer!    http://neilson.aminus3.com/

Fozzwaldus

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2012, 11:41:07 PM »
laowais whose Chinese name contains dragon...

Big Dragon

Small Dragon

White Dragon

etc...
两只老外, 两只老外,跑得快,跑得快,
一个是老酒鬼,一个是老色鬼,真奇怪, 真奇怪

kitano

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2012, 02:23:22 AM »
The foreigners who are convinced that since someone here told them they are beautiful/good-looking then it must be true.

Double this for 'a great singer'

I worked with a guy a few years ago who used to serenade people in the office and so on, he even knew Chinese songs!

He did it to western girls as well, he knew a song in German and sang it to Germans we knew, of course the Germans were quite a bit less impressed than the Chinese....

tbh this might just be me being a misery guts, I hate talent shows and stuff, why can't people just sit in their houses and drink like me?

MK

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Re: Things other expats do that drive you insane
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2012, 03:40:56 AM »
Quote from: Kitano
performing foreigners

Then count me in as a misery guts too...I think it's the fact that a mediocre (some might say non-existent) talent is elevated to a higher level simply because it's a foreigner doing it, and then as has been noted certain Laowai start to believe their own myth until their ego and personality are just out of control...