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[Isidnar]

Warning: Philosophical Musings!


A big difference between being in the US and being in China is that in China you are seen.

I remember watching one of those afternoon talk shows for bored housewives and prison populations. Now I haven’t owned or really watched a TV for eight years or so and even when I did definitely didn’t watch those kinds of shows. But for some reason or other there I was some ten years ago watching one.

On this particular show, three attractive women dressed up fairly convincingly as men and walked around town. Upon their return, they commented that they felt invisible. No one looked at them. Let’s face it, even plain women get looked at by us men. But men are usually ignored or get at best furtive glances. We are in effect invisible.

But here in China we are seen. I’m not talking about the blatant staring the yokels in the backwater eddies will lock on you, I’m talking about the brief glances people will definitely throw our way. We’re not invisible here.

I’ve been puzzling over whether this is affecting my sense of self or my sense of individuality. Does it make me feel more a part of things or more apart from things?

Do you ladies notice a difference in the way you are looked at here?

[Calach Pfeffer]

Hey man, if you don't like being seen....

[dragonsaver]

Yes, I was looked at for sure.  Definitely more than I would be in Canada.  I also was called 'fat' by some females looking at me.    Shocked the crap out of the 'witches' when I said --> in Chinese "I know I am fat"

Most of the people living in my area knew me and would wave and say hi. 

Not sure about the male teacher and if they were looked at more or not.

[kitano]

The comparison I always think of is that it's like being black in a smaller city in England, in London or Manchester there are a lot of black people and noone notices, but in Newcastle when I lived there you'd still go 'oh a black person' when you saw a black person and people seem to look at me like that

Actually in Hangzhou it's strange because the Xihu district there are loads of foreigners working and visiting so noone looks at you but then away from the centre you do still get looked at

[CWL]

Reminds me of the time I went to a historically black university for a while and was the only white person in my classes.  The good thing about having that feeling this time around is there isn't a video on the news of white cops beating some Korean as there was with Rodney King back in the day. At least I am not having to look over my shoulders all the time.  That is one good thing.  LOL!

[ericthered]

To a degree, yes. I spent months trying to figure out if I had forgotten to do up my fly or something. It is the startled, alomost disbelieving nature of the stares I found disconcerting. However, I have a way to become invisible. The small-dog-on-a-leash defence. People notice her, at times they don't notice the laowai attached to the other end at all. I would not say the stares had any effect on me, except for making me shave as I constantly thought there was food in my moustache...

[Escaped Lunatic]

Now that Eric has a rodent dog on a leash, he can wander around town with food in his mustache while leaving his fly down.

[latefordinner]

I spent months trying to figure out if I had forgotten to do up my fly or something.

-ETR
10 years on and I still have those moments!

Maybe the reason they're staring at the rodent is that they're wondering how it would taste on a stick.

Rather than shaving, I've gone the other way and grown a goatee. Now I'm thinking of growing my beard to a long thin point. Maybe braiding it, if I can get it long enough. I figure what the hell, people think I'm a freak anyways, I may as well have fun playing the role. In that respect, being the centre of unasked for attention can be liberating.

[ericthered]

EL and LD, I should warn you that the dog, or rodent as you prefer to call her, is connected...like Corleone connected...so don't be surprised if some Dobermann Pinchers show up to have a little chat with you

I don't mind the staring really...I even encourage ir...hell, my mere appearance seems to be entertaining, possibly due to the mane of unruly red hair, so the stares just increase when I attempt to do tai chi in the local park...

[El Macho]

Does it make me feel more a part of things or more apart from things?

My feelings went from the former to the latter before learning to stop worrying and love the Chinese indifference towards staring at others. I enjoy people-watching, and since China is full of starers I feel liberated to stare as much and as blatantly as I want.

[Stil]

As the only guy who wasn't white in my high school, it's not different here in terms of being noticed. The biggest difference is the expectation that you won't understand what they are saying. There is less animosity in general if you are with a girl too. Some of the feelings you may be experiencing are what it's like to be a minority in a place with few minorities, and it isn't always China specific.

[The Local Dialect]

As the only guy who wasn't white in my high school, it's not different here in terms of being noticed. The biggest difference is the expectation that you won't understand what they are saying. There is less animosity in general if you are with a girl too. Some of the feelings you may be experiencing are what it's like to be a minority in a place with few minorities, and it isn't always China specific.

I was going to write something similar (although I am white so I don't have personal experience from back home). Minorities the world over probably like they aren't anonymous. It is different from the typical Chinese staring too. That's a different topic. People can notice you without staring at you. It is much more subtle sometimes.

Often in China I'm feeling like I'm doing a good job of fitting in and being a normal person but then I'll get hit by the feeling that I'm different and everyone knows it. I'm the "other." It isn't just that people are looking at me as a person, it is that they're looking at me and seeing all the innate associations they have with foreign-ness, particularly with foreign whiteness.

For someone who is interested in cultural studies and the theory behind otherness, etc., it is a interesting experience, but being just another anonymous white person back in the States was much less of a mindfuck.

[Calach Pfeffer]

Often in China I'm feeling like I'm doing a good job of fitting in and being a normal person but then I'll get hit by the feeling that I'm different and everyone knows it. I'm the "other."

Yeah. Especially when I actually see an image of myself, like in photos, and I'm like D'OH! I'M ASTONISHINGLY DIFFERENT FROM THESE PEOPLE!!!

It isn't just that people are looking at me as a person, it is that they're looking at me and seeing all the innate associations they have with foreign-ness, particularly with foreign whiteness.

Actually, I don't know what they're seeing. I assume it's something like what I see when I see photos: outlandishly enlarged pinkish fellow with the wrong colour hair.

There's a whole psychological thing about how different people (as individuals, rather than as cultural representatives) measure difference--some do it in relatively simple physical terms, some according to slightly more complex physical signs of cultural norms.

(^ might not be true--I forget the theory.)

[El Macho]

White folks who are minorities, though, have it a bit better than dark-skinned minorities in majority white countries, I think. The idea of white being attractive/beautiful is pretty well entrenched in cultures around the world. So, while white foreigners in China may get a bit of a taste of what it's like to be a minority, I don't think it can ever be the same as being, say, a person of color in America.

[NATO]

El Macho I think that's putting it very, very lightly indeed!