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Author Topic: Things locals do that drive you insane.  (Read 21985 times)

Guangzhou Writer

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Re: Things locals do that drive you insane.
« Reply #135 on: March 22, 2013, 05:27:38 PM »
Soooooo ... you're ambling homeward on a Sunday, noonish, and you notice a t-shirt purveyor whose offerings include some potentially batshiat crazy-delicious Chinglish. 

You don't say any of this out loud of course; that would be rude and pointless. Nevertheless, you and your mission are derailed. You mutter quietly to yourself and wander off down the street ... just another in a string of failed attempts to reach sidewalk-in-China enlightenment...

 eeeeeeeeee
You too, huh? I didn't have much of a honeymoon period in China and was confused by things like this from the beginning and just want to understand it all somehow.

These situations, like the t-shirt sale, are difficult to nail down. Could be Chinese contrariness where giving you what you want is reflexively avoided. Could be native is overwhelmed by presence of foreign devil and has brain fart.

Maybe you're supposed to approach the seller's table and talk about radishes, then the local sports team, and then make some indirect reference to what you really want without making yourself vulnerable by actually saying what you really want? I still haven't figured it out. So con-few-shus-ing.

Granny Mae

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Re: Things locals do that drive you insane.
« Reply #136 on: March 22, 2013, 09:58:34 PM »
gzwriter, can you pop into the Champagne Cabana and go to the first topic titled Introductions. I'd love to hear a bit more about where you come from etc. Thanks! bfbfbfbfbf

A-Train

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Re: Things locals do that drive you insane.
« Reply #137 on: April 18, 2013, 03:38:18 PM »
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daozers/27-signs-you-were-raised-by-asian-immigrant-parents

SOCIAL LIFT
27 Signs You Were Raised By Asian Immigrant Parents
Specifically East Asian (Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc.) See these other posts for Indians and Persians.
posted on April 17, 2013 at 1:21pm EDT
Dao Nguyen
BuzzFeed Product
Kevin Tang
BuzzFeed Staff
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1. Before prom, your parents had stern words for your date:

Via: mothersdaymeme.tumblr.com
2. On vacations, your parents took photos like this:

You laughed, rolled your eyes, but years later you realize you should've taken more photos of them.
Via: m.lolsnaps.com
3. They did this at the fruit aisle:

Via: youtube.com
4. And ordered hot water at restaurants.

Source: electricgale.tumblr.com
5. They coached you on starving before a buffet and gorging only on ribeye and lobsters. Seafood-phobes were deadweight in buffet olympics.

Source: crazystupidshit.com
6. When the bill came, older relatives fought, i.e. yelled and screamed in the middle of the restaurant, for the right to pay.

Via: justkiddingfilms.net
7. Some distant cousin or family friend's son/daughter is always being trotted out as a paragon of perfection that you're falling short of.

Source: zazzle.com
8. When you got sick, your parents fed you bitter herbal brews, or sent you to weird bruising traditional treatments:

It didn't actually hurt, but you were always afraid someone would report you to Child Services when you changed for gym.
Source: youtube.com
9. Your mom's always convinced it's too cold without a jacket outside.

And you would never, ever, leave the fan on when you're sleeping.
Via: youtube.com
10. Your relatives stuffed you with awesome food. And they didn't hesitate to comment when your waistline ballooned.

Expert food trolls, those Asian aunts.
Via: fucking-hyolyn.tumblr.com
11. You ate savory breakfasts littered with jarred pickles. Rice was always involved.

Source: 4.bp.blogspot.com
12. When they visited you, they always crashed on some relative's couch, or kicked you out of your own bed.

They're convinced hotels were a ripoff.
13. The remote control is wrapped in plastic wrap.

Source: ressacjane.blogspot.com
14. For a household that was low on luxury, there were a lot of foot massagers, back massagers, massage hammers and massage accessories.

Via: themetapicture.com
15. Your mom put fluffy dried pork into your sandwiches, and your friends said it looked like hair.

Scarred for life.
Source: seriouseats.com
16. Your fridge was packed with jars whose labels never matched the food within.

You also saved every jar to store pickled stuff.
Source: bangkokgoplay.pixnet.net
17. You only had bowls. No plates.

Source: pzed
18. The dishwasher was only used as a drying rack.

Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com
19. In the drawers were free napkins, cups, utensils, and mini shampoo bottles they've hoarded from hotels.

Also shower caps, though no one in your family has ever used one before.
Source: pakermonkey.blogspot.com
20. Saturdays, you studied your parents' native tongues. Sundays, you practiced an instrument. Your dad was rad if he let you pick the guitar.

Via: castnet.nctu.edu.tw
21. Your friends were always wondering why your parents are arguing. That's just how they speak.

Via: shutterstock.com
22. Everyone was your Aunt or Uncle but you had no idea if they were actually related to you.

Also your parents call each other Mom and Dad instead of their first names. In fact you didn't even know adults had first names.
23. You know what durians smell like.

Source: hungrytravels.com
24. People always assume that you're related to another Lee/Chung/Nguyen/Hong/Kim that they know.

Source: daves4
25. Nothing will stop your aunts from trying to set you up with royal bores with Ivy League degrees.
"Mom, we have nothing in common." "But she's a doctor from Harvard!"

Source:
26. Every year, you got money in red envelopes on New Year's.

Source: kristinandkayla.com
27. Finally: your parents gave you everything they had and spent nothing on themselves. They know firsthand the dangers of the world, and their work isn't done until they see you settled and safe.

Their clothes are twenty years old, but they sent you to college. They may be too stoic to say "I love you" but you know they do, and you wouldn't change anything! Thanks Mom and Dad!
Source: ent.chinadaily.com.cn
"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore attempt the impossible and achieve it, generation after generation.

Pearl S. Buck

AMonk

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Re: Things locals do that drive you insane.
« Reply #138 on: April 18, 2013, 09:22:06 PM »
27. Finally: your parents gave you everything they had and spent nothing on themselves. They know firsthand the dangers of the world, and their work isn't done until they see you settled and safe.

Their clothes are twenty years old, but they sent you to college. They may be too stoic to say "I love you" but you know they do, and you wouldn't change anything! Thanks Mom and Dad!
Source: ent.chinadaily.com.cn


Sounds suspiciously like my parents! akakakakak agagagagag agagagagag
Moderation....in most things...

Day Dreamer

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Re: Things locals do that drive you insane.
« Reply #139 on: April 19, 2013, 01:42:32 AM »
27. Finally: your parents gave you everything they had and spent nothing on themselves. They know firsthand the dangers of the world, and their work isn't done until they see you settled and safe.

Their clothes are twenty years old, but they sent you to college. They may be too stoic to say "I love you" but you know they do, and you wouldn't change anything! Thanks Mom and Dad!
Source: ent.chinadaily.com.cn


Sounds suspiciously like my parents! akakakakak agagagagag agagagagag

Wow, I didn't know your parents were Asian
For you to insult me, first I must value your opinion

Day Dreamer

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Re: Things locals do that drive you insane.
« Reply #140 on: April 19, 2013, 04:42:53 AM »
7. Some distant cousin or family friend's son/daughter is always being trotted out as a paragon of perfection that you're falling short of.

9. Your mom's always convinced it's too cold without a jacket outside.

10. Your relatives stuffed you with awesome food. And they didn't hesitate to comment when your waistline ballooned.

19. In the drawers were free napkins, cups, utensils, and mini shampoo bottles they've hoarded from hotels.

21. Your friends were always wondering why your parents are arguing. That's just how they speak.

22. Everyone was your Aunt or Uncle but you had no idea if they were actually related to you.

27. Finally: your parents gave you everything they had and spent nothing on themselves. They know firsthand the dangers of the world, and their work isn't done until they see you settled and safe.

Their clothes are twenty years old, but they sent you to college. They may be too stoic to say "I love you" but you know they do, and you wouldn't change anything! Thanks Mom and Dad!



That's straight out of "You Know You's Italian When . . . "
For you to insult me, first I must value your opinion