Boy or Girl

Next week we will go for the 4 month check up and will try to find out the sex. Maybe it will be too early but when ever we can find out we will. I am a little worried though. Although we both want a girl we won't care if it's a boy as long as baby is healthy. What I am worried about is that because I really want a girl I might feel (even momentarily) disappointed that it's a boy. Am I a bad person? Does this mean I am not sure how else to word this but I am concerned about this. For the record I only care about the health and happiness of junior but I am still worried about any possible negative feelings due to wanting a girl. I am pretty sure once I see junior on the monitor ( and down the road hold him/her) I ain't gonna give a flying fuck what is or isn't between their legs.
What say you?

Yes. It means you are a bad person.

Thought so.

I wanted a girl and I was a tiny bit disappointed when my firstborn was a boy, but I got over it very quickly. With my daughter we didn't find out ahead of time because the doctors here seemed to take the "no telling the sex" rule much more seriously than the doctors in Kunming. Since we weren't, and still aren't, sure that we'll have any more kids I was REALLY hoping for a girl when she was born and I think if I'd have gotten another boy I would have felt sad about that. Luckily I got one of each so even if we never have another child we got to experience parenting a son and a daughter.

It is totally natural to want one or the other and even to feel a bit bummed about it. You'll get over it though!

Thanks. I am sure once I see junior and look into his/her eyes nothing else will matter.

Think of yourself as a counterbalance to all those people who want a boy (and ONLY a boy).

Personally, I'm thrilled to have a daughter.

BTW - you're a bad person, but for other reasons.

If you get a boy and are really really disappointed, I know a guy in Thailand....

Just out of curiosity (I'm nosey and you don't have to answer if you feel it's too personal lol) why do you want a girl more than a boy?

I think you have hit the nail on the head though, even if you are disapointed for just a moment you probably won't care once your child is here.

At 4 months here the doctors wouldn't tell us what it was. In fact we didn't find out until it popped out and i kinda liked it being that kind of a surprise. Seemed slightly more traditional to me.

We had the same experience with our daughter Noodles. None of the doctors would tell us. With our son I had been going to two hospitals for awhile and at one of the hospitals, an army hospital, ironically, the doctor offered to tell me but he made sure he did it in English so that no one nearby would hear him. The other hospital wouldn't tell.

Just FYI, it is technically illegal for the doctors here to reveal the sex. Lots of couples find doctors willing to it for a "donation" and some doctors will do it for foreigners because they realize that we're not the people that the law is intended for (those would be the ignorant peasants who abort female fetuses). With my daughter no one would tell us so we just ended up waiting and it was actually really cool having that surprise when she was born.

Just out of curiosity (I'm nosey and you don't have to answer if you feel it's too personal lol) why do you want a girl more than a boy?

I think you have hit the nail on the head though, even if you are disapointed for just a moment you probably won't care once your child is here.

My wife has a son from her ex.

We had the same experience with our daughter Noodles. None of the doctors would tell us. With our son I had been going to two hospitals for awhile and at one of the hospitals, an army hospital, ironically, the doctor offered to tell me but he made sure he did it in English so that no one nearby would hear him. The other hospital wouldn't tell.

Just FYI, it is technically illegal for the doctors here to reveal the sex. Lots of couples find doctors willing to it for a "donation" and some doctors will do it for foreigners because they realize that we're not the people that the law is intended for (those would be the ignorant peasants who abort female fetuses). With my daughter no one would tell us so we just ended up waiting and it was actually really cool having that surprise when she was born.

My wife is old friends with the doc who'll be taking care of things and she'll tell us. She also told a foreign couple we know who work for my school.

Congratulations psd4fan and Mrs. psd4fan. Already having a son is a perfectly legitimate reason for wanting a daughter the second time around. I had my two boys long before finding out the sex by ultrasound was commonplace. In fact, I never had even one ultrasound during two pregnancies. I was praying for healthy.

You are correct that once you hold that little bundle of joy you will fall instantly in love - whether it's given to you in a pink blanket or a blue one (hospital where my kids were born did that).

jumping into this a bit late, and so summarizing what others have said, but offering my own 2 jiao none the less...

wanting a girl or a boy doesn't make you a bad person. Wanting one or the other to the point of rejecting a child at birth would, but that doesn't seem to be your problem. Anyone who says

as long as baby is healthy

has their instincts in the right place.

My wife and I were offerredd the opportunity to learn our child's sex before she was born, but I demurred at the contribution. Like TLD, we waited and found out, and yes the surprise was really cool. Worth waiting for, maybe worth more because waited for. As it was for my 2 kids from my first marriage, as no doubt it would be if (heaven forbid!) we decided to have more kids. Becoming a parent is a special moment in anyone's life, and that special moment of shared accomplishment and responsibility doesn't need to be tainted with "I didn't get the colour I asked for" selfishness.

Any update psd4fan?