Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
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Posts: 6731
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« on: January 06, 2012, 08:42:36 AM » |
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OK, I do it all the time. I'm the one who told someone to use a magnifying glass to get an "ants eye" view of a solar eclipse.  Now's your chance to join the entertainment. Share your worst advice, be it on China or any other topic. Keep it to 2 sentences or less. Don't be afraid to let rip with some advice that will result in a United Nations hearing on the subject if anyone really does it ( Note: Please do avoid super-sensitive topics that might be considered. . . unharmonious - we're here to have fun, not to get blocked). Anyone who actually follows advice from a "worst advice" thread probably deserves to be injured, killed, or locked away in prison or a mental hospital for life anyway.  Remember, keep it short. Two sentences or less, recalling that comma splices and other grammatical abuses can give you a lot of extra room just to go on and on and on in only a single sentence or even two sentences instead of breaking the advice you are giving into a larger number of sentences of reasonable length (sadly, this sentence is how I normally write). **** It's safest and easiest to get your teaching job in China through a recruiter. They are all honest and upstanding citizens who will work very hard to get you into the best possible job with very good contract terms.   |
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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kitano
Barfly
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Posts: 1992
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« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2012, 09:09:13 AM » |
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If you want to meet a nice girl just get drunk and go to a KTV!
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Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
Gender:
Posts: 6731
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2012, 10:34:18 AM » |
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Remember, the cheaper the baijiu, the better tasting it is and the less likely it will cause a hangover. Never spend more than 10 rmb per bottle and you'll do fine.  |
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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old34
Barfly
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Posts: 2063
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« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2012, 11:00:48 AM » |
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If you want to meet a nice girl just get drunk and go to a KTV!
And your second sentence? |
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. - B. O'Driscoll
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old34
Barfly
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Posts: 2063
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« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2012, 11:06:37 AM » |
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OK, I'll play
"Advice" from various Chinese over the years:
1. "Really, when Chinese say "Hello!" to you on the street, they're showing their warmth, respect and hospitality."
2. "'Laowai' is not a negative, derisive term; but rather a term of respect."
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. - B. O'Driscoll
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kitano
Barfly
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Posts: 1992
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« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2012, 12:20:42 PM » |
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If you want to meet a nice girl just get drunk and go to a KTV!
And your second sentence? I'll tell you when you get back from the KTV |
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dragonsaver
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« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2012, 02:17:34 PM » |
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The water in China is clean and pure. You can drink water directly from the tap in your home.  |
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Be kind to dragons for thou are crunchy when roasted and taste good with brie.
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Bugalugs
Barfly
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Posts: 1535
If we are what we eat, I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
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« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2012, 02:44:26 PM » |
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The advice from EL is completely sane. You SHOULD follow it.
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Good girls are made from sugar and spice, I am made from Vodka and ice
Do you have and ID Ten T error??
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randyjac
Barfly
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Posts: 188
老骥伏枥
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« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2012, 12:05:46 AM » |
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The more students in an oral English class the better. It makes class discussions more lively.
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AMonk
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« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2012, 12:12:26 AM » |
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When travelling in the USA or Canada, be sure to stop, pick up, cuddle and then take home those cute, fluffy, black-and-white striped kittie cats.
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Moderation....in most things...
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piglet
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« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2012, 01:41:07 AM » |
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Speak softly and carry a big stick  |
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For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord
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Raoul F. Duke
Lovable Rogue
Despot in Absentia
Gender:
Posts: 9577
"Be specific if you order the mushrooms!"
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« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2012, 04:45:50 AM » |
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"Always sign the first contract you're offered. Your employer has your best interests at heart, and you're damn lucky just to have found a job."  |
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"Vicodin and dumplings...it's a great combination!" (Anthony Bourdain, in Harbin)
"Here in China we aren't just teaching...
we're building the corrupt, incompetent, baijiu-swilling buttheads of tomorrow!" (Raoul F. Duke)
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ericthered
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« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2012, 11:09:09 AM » |
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When someone says "you teach me English, I teach you Chinese" always say yes, you will learn so much Chinese.
When someone tells you stinky tofu is very delicious, believe them.
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"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." Oscar Wilde.
"It's all oojah cum spiffy". Bertie Wooster.
"The stars are God's daisy chain" Madeleine Bassett.
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Escaped Lunatic
Global Moderator
Gender:
Posts: 6731
Finding new ways to conquer the world
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« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2012, 08:15:28 AM » |
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Durian really is a fruit that's healthy and delicious (rumors of it being an egg of some alien monster are somewhat exaggerated). It tastes almost as good as stinky dofu, so eat up and enjoy (and don't worry about sleeping in the same apartment as a Durian that's hatching splitting open).
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I'm pro-cloning and we vote!
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Stil
Barfly
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Posts: 4096
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« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2012, 09:57:52 AM » |
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You can stay at my house tonight. It's perfectly safe.
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