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May 25, 2013, 03:47:07 PM
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Author Topic: gradually grammar  (Read 447 times)
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Kangaroo
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« on: December 04, 2011, 04:46:41 AM »

Hey everyone,

Marking a bunch of papers at the moment and have come up against one of those 'but it just sounds wrong' sentences... but I can't for the life of me prove what's wrong with it.

I've tried Swan, I've tried the internet, and now I'm going to bug you with it Smiley.

"... the relationship between us became more and more deep gradually...'

My problem is with the position of 'gradually' in the sentence. I know that adverbs of manner can be put at the end of a sentence ie 'She walked quickly', but here, the adverb is so far away from the verb it just seems wrong.

Am I crazy?
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The Local Dialect
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« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2011, 06:07:50 AM »

You're not crazy, that sentence is really awkward as is. I would rewrite i as "our relationship gradually became deeper and deeper." Or even just one "deeper" or "Our relationship gradually deepended." If they wanted to put "gradually" at the end I suppose they could write "Our relationship deepened gradually," although I'd prefer "gradually deepened" myself. 

I think it is the "more and more" that is really killing this sentence moreso than the gradually.  You don't use "more" with "deep," you use "deeper." It is like saying "the plane went more and more fast." You don't say that, you'd say "faster."  I am pretty sure that's where the issue is really coming from and screwing up the flow of the rest of the sentence, including the gradually.
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Stil
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« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2011, 06:29:43 AM »

I agree with TLD, except for the crazy part.
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AMonk
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« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2011, 09:05:02 AM »

That "gradually" is a misplaced modifier.  It most definitely should be re-located to sit next to the verb "became".

"... the relationship between us gradually became more and more deep ...'

This would work, even though it is a bit awkward.
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Kangaroo
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« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2011, 09:14:19 AM »

Thanks TLD and AMonk. Makes perfect sense.
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