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May 19, 2013, 07:43:14 PM
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Mac Attack
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« Reply #15 on: August 27, 2011, 06:45:56 AM »

When I was in Huai'an........I really, really, really, wantedt tol say Hi to the one foreign dude that I saw but he looked too wasted on his fifth beer.  alcoholic
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BrandeX
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« Reply #16 on: August 27, 2011, 07:21:59 AM »

Same as some posters above, I don't randomly engage strangers on the street regardless of their race. I assume by foreigners you mean "non-Asians", at least where I live there are lots of Japanese, and Koreans.
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The Local Dialect
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« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2011, 10:59:44 AM »

I don't think it is so much a matter of saying hi and going up and talking to every foreigner you see, but some people are seriously standoffish when they think you're intruding on their China bubble.

I feel like I get this loads when I go back to Kunming to visit. Kunming expats can be very territorial and wary of newcomers, maybe because there are so many tourists and backpackers that pass through, and I've been gone for over 3 years now of course there are new people there who don't know who I am and assume I'm a newbie. Everytime I go back there I wish I had that t-shirt kevcom was talking about.
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kevcom1
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« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2011, 11:13:59 AM »

After being here for years i do not go out of my way to say hello to the newbies but I sure as heck do not try to ignore them. I find it disappointing that these new people would act this way, like i am not worth even noticing. If they do not say hello that is fine but for them to obviously avoid me makes me angry at times.
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ToddDano
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« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2011, 12:50:22 PM »

So I just got to Shanghai yesterday and its so odd that this thread was at the top of the list since I was thinking the same thing. Its almost like they make a point to not make eye contact. I'm not expecting a "HEY! You're a foreigner too!" type hello but I was at least expecting a head nod or small smile or something.
For example, I was walking into my friend's apartment complex and a girl probably in her 20's was walking right at me and I don't think she even looked at me. In this situation, no matter where I am or who the person is, pretty sure I would have at least given them the nod at least.
Haha but then there are the tourists who will flat out stare at you while you walk by.
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Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein
Kid Presentable
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« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2011, 01:52:59 PM »

My Shanghai experience so far has been that foreigners don't acknowledge one another, just because there are so many here. It's like earlier posters said, there's so many people that you don't need to say hi to everyone. I live in a part of Shanghai that has it's fair share of foreigners, but not so many compared to other areas. After I see the same people a few times, it becomes obvious that there is mutual recognition. I'll usually give them a nod. Sometimes they reciprocate, sometimes they don't. When I get attitude from people, like, "what are you doing here?", I just laugh to myself. The idea that someone would come to Shanghai thinking they are special or unique is a little bit silly. It might not be that they want to be the only rockstar foreigner in the neighborhood, some people just don't want to interact with other people at all. You don't have to wait for for them to acknowledge you. Say ni hao, stop them, make them pause their ipod for a second. Pick your times and places carefully though. If I had to generalize I would say that the majority of people who decide to come to China are open minded, but maybe a little bit introverted. A lot of them will be dealing with various degrees of culture shock as well. Some days I walk around smiling at everyone, and some days I pray nobody will talk to me. There's definitely ups and downs when you're relatively new to living in China. You never know where people's heads are at.
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kitano
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« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2011, 09:25:39 PM »

this could also be a moan back home

some people are rude, some people aren't

i don't think being a foreigner comes into it to be honest, sometimes you just want to be a dick.....
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Just Like Mr Benn
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« Reply #22 on: August 28, 2011, 12:06:11 AM »

I must admit I've read this thread with a bit of amazement, and a degree of anger. If it's that important to people I will acknowledge them, but between all of you and me, I think it's a bit pathetic that I need to engage in superfluous eye contact and human interaction with complete and utter strangers purely on the basis that, 'Hey, you're not Chinese and way hey, neither am I. Cor blimey, who would have believed it?'

Now, don't get me wrong. I'd love to have more laowai friends, and if nodding to people led to friendships being formed, then I would find this a useful behaviour to be acquired. But that's not what it is.  I can only imagine that it's rooted in some ridiculous need for the delusion that one is more popular than they really are; like boasting that you have 400 friends on Facebook. They're not your friends, and neither am I. I think this moronic need to be constantly socially stroked is largely driven by Americans. This 'friendliness' doesn't mean that people want to be friends. Being friendly to everyone with no intention or interest in actual friendship strikes me as insincere and fake.

A total stranger wanting to interact with me isn't a sign of genuine friendship. It's a sign of mental illness or the precursor for begging for money. Persoannly I find it intrusive and rude, and the fact that I have to endure the constant 'HELLOing' constantly from Chinese people has of course driven me further into my shell.

I tell people I'm shy, which is a useful excuse, and as I say, I will amend my behaviour, but let me just point out for the record; people are stupid.
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kevcom1
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« Reply #23 on: August 28, 2011, 01:20:17 AM »


The point of this post was that people go out of their way to ignore another based solely on their non chinese status. I have no desire to be friends with any of these people nor do I have any desire to be treated with contempt.
I do not respond to people saying hello to me as i do not know them and often it is more of a joke to those saying it.
As a minority group though it might be nice if someone acknowledged the other, instead of going out of their way to ignore them. Humans are social creatures and it is not difficult to pick up on non verbal cues. By obviously trying to ignore another person the statement can cause alot of misunderstanding. It would just be so much easier to nod the head. It is a simple matter of courtesy isn''t it?
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Borkya
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« Reply #24 on: August 28, 2011, 01:59:31 AM »

i think it doesn't have much to do with Chinese vs non-chinese, I think the nod and smile to a stranger thing is a cultural thing.

In fact, I often try to smile and nod to people as I pass them whether they are foreigners of chinese. But, for the most part, it is only the foreigners that will smile and nod back because it is a cultural norm in most western cities. So I've basically stopped doing it to chinese people, but continue doing it to westerners. It has nothing to do with "Hey your western, let's acknowledge it!" but more of a "this person will understand my cultural instinct."

It's like saying "god bless you" or "gesundheit" after someone sneezes. I used to always say it, but found it confused most people so now I only say it when I hear a westerner sneeze. But no matter what, like if I hear a student sneeze in class, I ALWAYS think it in my head, even if I don't say it. That's how ingrained some of our cultural instinct are, and smiling and nodding is part of that.   
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BrandeX
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« Reply #25 on: August 28, 2011, 07:35:55 AM »

Again I disagree with random greetings to foreigners on the basis that I won't give a random "what up!?" to people I walk by on the street just because they are, or appear to be white. There is a high chance, especially in my city, that they in fact don't have a similar culture, or perhaps don't even speak English.
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kevcom1
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« Reply #26 on: August 28, 2011, 07:59:00 AM »

Sounds like some people are divided on this issue.
Me, i can only go with my gut feelings when i come across another foreigner that strikes me as a douchebag. They wanna ignore me thats fine,that is their choice but it is my choice to classify someone as a royal Dbag when they act like it.
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The Local Dialect
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« Reply #27 on: August 28, 2011, 01:41:44 PM »

i think it doesn't have much to do with Chinese vs non-chinese, I think the nod and smile to a stranger thing is a cultural thing.

In fact, I often try to smile and nod to people as I pass them whether they are foreigners of chinese. But, for the most part, it is only the foreigners that will smile and nod back because it is a cultural norm in most western cities. So I've basically stopped doing it to chinese people, but continue doing it to westerners. It has nothing to do with "Hey your western, let's acknowledge it!" but more of a "this person will understand my cultural instinct."

It's like saying "god bless you" or "gesundheit" after someone sneezes. I used to always say it, but found it confused most people so now I only say it when I hear a westerner sneeze. But no matter what, like if I hear a student sneeze in class, I ALWAYS think it in my head, even if I don't say it. That's how ingrained some of our cultural instinct are, and smiling and nodding is part of that.   

This.

I mean, I don't exactly go around saying "what up" or even "hello" to random strangers, no matter what they look like, but I feel like even back home if you made random eye contact with someone the polite thing to do would be to smile and nod. I think it is dispell the uncomfortable feeling of being caught looking "at" someone but whatever the reason, I think in Western culture (or maybe is it just American?) aknowledging people who make eye contact with you is just polite. It is a cultural response like saying "thank you" to people who do a service for you, even if that person is just doing their job and you aren't actually even feeling particularly grateful. To this day I still say "please" and "thank you" waitresses and taxi drivers and delivery people. Chinese people for the most part don't do this.

There aren't a whole lot of foreigners in my neighborhood way out in far West Beijing but when I do see them out on the street (usually the same 10 or so people they almost always at least nod and smile my way and I do the same. But because there aren't that many foreigners in this area I almost always notice them when they're out and about. When I'm out in Chaoyang or Shunyi or Wudaokou, which are the big foreigner hubs, I don't notice the other foreigners that much so the chances of it happening are not as great but if I happen to make eye contact with someone my initial response is still to be friendly, to smile, nod, maybe say "hi." I'm certainly not actually trying to make friends with these people, I'm just being polite and not standoffish.
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BrandeX
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« Reply #28 on: August 28, 2011, 04:22:46 PM »

That's probably the main difference there. Locale. My pov comes from a 1st city packed with foreigners being the country's intl. trade hub. It would be different somewhere remote where there were only a few foreigners.
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ToddDano
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« Reply #29 on: August 29, 2011, 09:43:41 AM »

I agree with KevComm, I could care less if other foreigners looked at me or nodded. It's the fact that most seem to intentionally avoid others that seems really odd to me. Maybe it's because most of them are like Mr. Benn (lickass) and are tired of other foreigners trying to engage them. Or maybe overtime, I will learn, like them, to just stare at the ground in order to avoid Chinese stares and foreigners' wandering eyes. Hopefully not since I have always thought looking down while walking showed a sign of frailty.
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Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein
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