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[Calach Pfeffer]

Good choice.

I think actually that, maybe for any country but particularly for China, knowing ahead of time why you're here, and knowing how you're going to do what you're here to do, is better than hoping for change.  There's room for the unexpected, but in a lot of ways this is an empty country, at least for the time being.

Salut.

[Invictus]

Granny Mae, your story is moving and your lesson is very wise. Thank you so much for sharing that experience. Hope one day we all find something as special as what you had.

***

P.S. A gymnast, huh? I can imagine why you stayed as long as you did ...  

Haha... Oh, man. There couldn't have been a more perfect emoticon.

Thanks to everyone for listening to my stuff. Sure, I'm sad, but when I think if I'd one day married her and the kind of life I'd have had, I don't feel so bad.

Ah, well. Next step: calm down, find work, save money for graduate school, enjoy myself a bit while I'm back in New York, and help out some other China newbies here on the Saloon the way people helped me out last year.

Thanks again to everyone.

***

EDIT:Granny, every once in a while I reread your story and am not sad anymore. It makes painfully clear what is and isn't important in life. Thank you again.

[Jedi Smurf]

Invictus, wow! Sounds like you made the right decision. Kudos to you for your maturity. I know it is hard to let someone go when you love them, even when you know they are not the right person for you. Best of luck in your future!

[latefordinner]

I can't believe I missed the whole thread. It's not as though I avoid the LM&F board, but I obviously haven't been here for a week an look at what I'm catching up with now. Thanks, I, for sharing this with us and allowing us all to respond.

Invictus, it's tough to say it, but you were wise to break with her. Not only are you saying goodbye to a girlfriend, but in a way you're also saying goodbye to China for the time being. Not forever, one hopes, but for the moment this certainly colours your relationship with the muddled kingdom. That's a tough goodbye.

One thing that impresses me is that people's contributions here say as much about them as about your situation. Some may use stronger, more direct language, others may couch their reservations and second thoughts in more more guarded terms, but what people pick up on and how they say it tells us a lot about who they are. I'm tempted to quote specific things people have written here that I think show exceptional wisdom and insight, but this isn't my target audience. I think I'll bookmark this thread and save it for the day when I'm talking with friends and the topic of love and marriage comes up.

[NATO]

Invictus, well done mate - it's not easy to make the kind of decision you did and I think it takes courage. Now to the future. Nice one for sharing with us as well, this thread has been informative and interesting and contains a lot of good opinions on this subject.

Granny, that's a really touching story - thanks for telling us.