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Author Topic: Sexy question  (Read 3812 times)

memnoch87

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Sexy question
« on: June 19, 2011, 05:01:23 PM »
Ok so I have noticed that in many contracts it is creeping in that FT's may not have people stay over in their homes. Now I understand this for prolonged periods of times etc but what I am really curious about is the impact it has on  bhbhbhbhbh

My school has this clause but it has never once been mentioned to me and I have had no problems.

Have any of you ever had this clause pulled on you or is it ignored everywhere?

Stil

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2011, 11:43:17 PM »
It used to be (may still be) technically illegal for any male and female to spend a night together alone if not married, even in a hotel.

China has a lot of laws on the books that are not enforced but can be trotted out when needed. I've had the clause it all my contracts in China and never had an issue. However, in one school, the administration did use the clause on a foreign co-worker who had a habit of bringing prostitutes home at 3 in the morning. When he complained about other foreign teachers having girlfriends sleeping over (mine was living with me) they just said they didn't know what he was taslking about.

There are also incidents with teacher-student relationships.

It's much easier to have a rule/law that is softly applied than try to reign in behaviour after the fact. Works very well in the classroom too.

memnoch87

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2011, 02:14:19 AM »
With regards to protecting students that makes perfect sense. Not sure about the prostitute thing that's kind of a grey area I guess. But i wouldn't like a teacher I employed to be a known John ESPECIALLY if he lives on campus and his students could become aware.


Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2011, 03:59:55 AM »
Even off campus, the school wants to protect itself from a live in GF throwing the FT out of what she now considers to be "her" apartment. ahahahahah
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!               Why isn't this card colored green?
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randyjac

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2011, 06:35:05 AM »
In Chapter 12 of her book Dreaming in Chinese, Deborah Fallows discusses her experience with rules in China. There are too many rules for a person to rigorously follow, she says. Some even contradict each other. She relates her experience in adjusting to this environment. Chinese people know which rules may be ignored and when, according to her. I believe she is right. It's kind of an art form.

fullricebowl

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2011, 08:33:11 AM »
When I was traveling in Jinan, Shandong with my boyfriend we were told that we could not stay together in the same hotel room because we were different nationalities. He ended up later trying to come up to the room alone- promising the staff he would leave shortly- with both of us fearing the police would be barging into the room at any moment. This was after trying to get a room in Shijiazhuang only to be told that only the three nicest hotels (400rmb plus) would allow foreigners at all.

In terms of your opening question, I never really had an issue with people staying over at school-provided housing but I thought clauses like that were related to registering foreign friends with the police?

Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #6 on: June 20, 2011, 08:41:59 AM »
I had a hotel reservation canceled once because I seem to lack a Chinese ID card. llllllllll

My old teaching contract had that "no overnight guests without prior authorization" clause.  I mostly followed it, until the other side broke the contract.  Then I ended up with not one, but 2 girls crashing in my spare room.  They did all the cooking and cleaning.  Somehow, I forgot to ask if it was ok. ababababab
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!               Why isn't this card colored green?
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latefordinner

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2011, 12:57:26 PM »
Those aren't guests, boss, they're my aunties!

Stil

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2011, 02:24:54 PM »
With regards to protecting students that makes perfect sense. Not sure about the prostitute thing that's kind of a grey area I guess. But i wouldn't like a teacher I employed to be a known John ESPECIALLY if he lives on campus and his students could become aware.



Students are aware of most everything going on. Then again they are often the prostitutes.

Paul

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #9 on: June 20, 2011, 02:34:43 PM »
With regards to protecting students that makes perfect sense. Not sure about the prostitute thing that's kind of a grey area I guess. But i wouldn't like a teacher I employed to be a known John ESPECIALLY if he lives on campus and his students could become aware.



Students are aware of most everything going on. Then again they are often the prostitutes.

Several of my students (in adult training centres, I hasten to add) were members of the oldest profession.  But it only takes one student to complain and you're in deep stuff.

decurso

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2011, 06:14:28 AM »
 This was technically the rule at my campus apartment in China, but the security guards never gave a  bqbqbqbqbq. Also, it wasn't in the contract, it was a building rule, and the rules were posted in the lobby in Chinese, so I could plead ignorance.

 My apartment in Beijing was a full fledged after hours hotel. I'd put up entire rock bands (and their girlfriends). Never had any trouble.

 Did come close, though. I was seeing this girl with some serious mental health problems and she moved in with me for a month. She was manic depressive, suicidal, ect., and I started to become terribly afraid I'd come home one day and find her hanging from a light fixture. Explaining a dead girl in your apartment is not exactly the way one goes about maintaining your job security.

 Soo..yes, it is standard, but usually not enforceable. Just use good judgement and  bhbhbhbhbh away.

Paul

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2011, 09:51:29 AM »
  girl with some serious mental health .....


... manic depressive, suicidal, ect.,

I hope you don't mind my selective quote.

Let me hazard a guess: a Chinese girl? 

Decurso, they are ALL like this.

And I can't resist saying ec tetera, becuse I'm an old-fashioned classicist.   bjbjbjbjbj




latefordinner

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2011, 06:34:47 AM »
Quote
Explaining a dead girl in your apartment
especially to your wife

Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2011, 10:52:58 AM »
Quote
Explaining a dead girl in your apartment
especially to your wife

A dead one might be easier to explain to your wife than a live one. ahahahahah
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!               Why isn't this card colored green?
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nicenightforawalk

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Re: Sexy question
« Reply #14 on: July 03, 2011, 01:33:56 PM »
My last contract stated 'no loving the students', which was OK. It might have been worded better, I think 'love' isnt always on ones mind!

I went to Beijing with a student (100% innocent and I was good friends with her family) and we wanted to share a twin to save money and that wasnt allowed due to a 'rule/law'. The same year (I think it was 2008) I also went to a few hotels with my then Chinese GF, and such things were never a problem.

I think if its a clause in a contract, its probably just a sensible measure that may be waived with genuine non-student GFs, friends and visiting family members. Thats been my experience anyway.