there is enormous anxiety among those who feel they are being left behind
Lower in status, they fear not getting what they want in life, and look to men to provide it.
These are the key lines. The wealth gap is humongous in China. The have-nots have few opportunities to join the haves. Marriage is one, and probably the only, opportunity that most women will get to climb the social ladder and have some comforts in life. BMWs and such are a surface feature, but more importantly is the security of health care, retirement, etc. Remember, upward mobility isn't as available in China as in western countries. If you didn't go to the right school, or any school, when you were young, you can't enroll in the local community college at age 40 and try something new (and decent-paying) such as nursing, as Americans frequently do.