Having to go into "ignoring-people-mode" a lot lately

how many times has that got you laid?

0

... but the law of averages must kick in eventually !   
 
Won't it?

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how many times has that got you laid?

0

... but the law of averages must kick in eventually !   
 
Won't it?

Are you really THAT desperate?

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how many times has that got you laid?

0

... but the law of averages must kick in eventually !   
 
Won't it?

Yep, I'm sure one of those guys you tell to piss off will give you a go sometime.

load up on drugs and kill your friends

Are you really THAT desperate?

No - but it would be a good way of killing time while I wait for the bus

Yep, I'm sure one of those guys you tell to piss off will give you a go sometime.

Yep! 

load up on drugs and kill your friends

Not sure where that is coming from ... or where it's going   


 

Ben-Dan, I've had similar though not as hostile reactions, from groups of taxi drivers to kids and workers. In no particular order, I have:

- completely ignored them
- stared at them and laughed or shook my head
- as nicely an calmly as possible, said "cai ni ma"
- spoke complete jibberish
- started yelling in Italian

The last two really works for the kids. It drives them nuts when you speak an they can't reply because they don't understand. I've had kids follow demaning I speak English  

Ben-Dan, I've had similar though not as hostile reactions, from groups of taxi drivers to kids and workers. In no particular order, I have:

- as nicely an calmly as possible, said "cai ni ma"

"food your mother?"

I"ll bet that has them 

"food your mother?"

Don't be ridiculous old34

That's grass mud horse. He's calling them alpacas and of course, no one likes that.

Grass is "cao" not "cai". Same with the F word. Food is cai (among other things).

Hehe True enough. i guess i just it as it was really intended.

There were a bunch of long lines at the train station ticket office the other day.   I joined one.  This was for the high speed train and most people were following good queue protocol.  Some ten minutes later as I near the ticket window one young woman skipped over from her line to the front of my line, two people ahead of me.  An older woman behind me stuck her head out and told off the young woman.  The young woman laid claim to being in some relationship to the large Lenny-type young man who had been at the head of the queue, and she was allowed to stay.  I tell the story to indicate that telling people off for inconveniencing others is not out of bounds.  And if they fly off the handle, it seems to me it's legitimate to consider them antisocial.

In summary, Ben, even by Chinese standards your guy was being dangerously antisocial.  He sought inappropriate advantage and then sought to defend it with bluster and venom.  In context while being of differing nationalities will confuse the people involved, I don't think it has any legitimate bearing on how people should act.  Pragmatic bearing, yes, because people are assholes and will seek whatever advantage they can, but morally, one finds out what's real for everyone involved and one follows it or one changes it.

Is it legitimate to tell someone to get a grip?  Is it legitimate to tell someone they have no right to speak because it's not their country?  Strangely enough, probably yes to both questions, which makes for an interesting contradiction.

There's an unusual balancing act to perform, of course.  Namely, the balance between being resident and being a contributor.  Being resident, one presumably respects the country as it is.  Contributing, one brings in ones own prejudices and plans.  It's a puzzler.  Good on the Chinese bystanders who had ideas of what was right and wrong too.  They, in an obscure and somewhat invisible manner, were being welcoming and humanizing.

Meh, international relationships.  It's depressing when one has to pick sides.

We had a similar confrontation with an asshat at the train station in Beijing over Summer vacation. The dude tried to cut in line, my husband (who is also Chinese, so this wasn't a case of laowai rage) told him off, the woman at the counter told him to get in line, the guy tried to make some excuse about how he just wanted to "ask a question" or something, got belligerent, there was yelling, we bought our tickets, left, and as we were leaving my husband said something to the effect of "we'll be waiting for you outside," which, of course, we wouldn't be, but my husband just wanted to scare him I guess. It was all just a lot of bluster though because the guy was probably in his 50s, obviously couldn't take my husband in a fight, and was just being a blowhard because he was embarrased he got called out.

I've seen many a Chinese person get into it with fellow Chinese people over line cutting. So I don't think you were out of bounds and the guy's reaction was completely over the top. In my experience, line cutting is one of those behaviors that is often tolerated in this society, yet it pisses everyone off just the same, and people who do it know that they run the risk of getting told off if they do.

Ben-Dan (no relation to Dadan),
I don't post much but I read most threads, I'm sure there are many like me so I'm mentioning this as a reminder to help the forum & Not meant any way bad

& since you left the perfect opening in your last post & I've noticed it in a few threads you posted in before.

It's wonderful that you are putting the time into learning Chinese, thus learning the culture here & you seem to have picked it up quite quickly `Good on ya...

But try remember many readers on this forum cannot read Chinese pinyn or traditional, if possible, when you feel the need to write Chinese, please add the English translation more so folks don't lose the point of your post without having to open another window, C&Ping what you wrote to have it translated.




I now return youz all back to the topic at hand 

Eh, nutcases with grudges... it'll probably never happen.  The awesome, mindlessly callous violence that Chinese do to each other requires a hierarchy of some kind where victim and abuser have some kind of known position.  This is the upside of being out-group in China: one is not often left for dead in an alley.  It does happen, but the everyday ballistics of some guy somehow losing face doesn't seem to be what prompts it.  Or so it seems to me.  It'd actually really help if anyone ever knew anything about what their actually perceived role and status hereabouts really is.  There's a lot of guesses, like talking monkey or entertaining clown or mystical white savant, but who are we really to them?  (I seem to be asking this a lot lately.)

Note to self: must learn the language someday, many of these questions may be answered by talking to such Chinese as are not English-speaking university students.