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Author Topic: China, the REAL reasons  (Read 19094 times)

Escaped Lunatic

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China, the REAL reasons
« on: January 19, 2009, 11:26:49 PM »
Note - for my 1000th post at this 3rd incarnation of the Saloon, I dug up one of my favorite posts from long ago.  This is one of mine from November 9, 2006, but remains relevant today.  ababababab

Note 2 - I just used my 3000th post to bump up this thread. agagagagag

Note 3 - And my 4000th.  jjjjjjjjjj

Note 4 - And my 5000th. agagagagag jjjjjjjjjj aaaaaaaaaa

Looks like I forgot to update this post for #6000.  I must be getting forgetful. bgbgbgbgbg

Would you believe 7000th? aoaoaoaoao jjjjjjjjjj

How about 8000? btbtbtbtbt jjjjjjjjjj

Anyone for 9000?  agagagagag btbtbtbtbt

一万, also known as 10,000!   agagagagag  btbtbtbtbt  jjjjjjjjjj


OK, let's get past all the "experience another culture" and other usual reasons. Why does someone really end up in China?

I've been giving this question some deep thought and have a few possible answers. I wonder which saloon dwellers some of these will apply to.  mmmmmmmmmm

 btbtbtbtbt

1. You didn't get accepted into the Astronaut Corps, and decided that coming to China was almost like being on another planet.

2. You didn't get accepted into StarGate Command. Otherwise, same as #1.

3. You are on a lifelong quest to find the perfect bowl of wonton soup. (ok, that's one of my reasons  ahahahahah )

4. After realizing that everything you own was made in China, you decided it would be cheaper to shop at the source.

5. You had an overwhelming desire to sample the local delicacy you kept hearing so much about. It was called baijiu.  aaaaaaaaaa

6. You were about to join the French Foreign Legion, but remembered that the French military hasn't had any real accomplishments since Napoleon.

7. You were just trying to fly to Canada. It's not your fault that "CAN" is the airport code for Guangzhou.

8. No matter how many times you asked, the local McDonalds where you came from always refused to carry Civit Burgers.

9. You decided that the IRS/Inland Revenue would never be able to hunt you down if you were hiding in the outermost portion of Inner Mongolia.

10. You just could never find enough Chairman Mao memorabilia on eBay.

11. The job in the North Korean uranium enrichment facility just wasn't working out for you.

12. You were an illegal immigrant from Mexico, and the US Border Patrol decided that just putting you south of the Rio Grande wouldn't be enough to stop you from coming back.

13. You are a Hoganlander who secretly hates vegemite (a serious criminal offense in the Land Down Under). This was the one place you could go where it wasn't readily available. Now you can easily hide your problem by making lots of postings about how much you miss eating vegemite.

14. You and about 5 million other people in USania all swore you would leave the country if George W. Bush was re-elected in 2004. How were you to know that the other 4,999,999 of them didn't understand the concept of being true to one's word?

15. You were at the local seaport near your hometown. Who knew that "being Shanghaied" wasn't just an archaic expression?

16. After your locality banned smoking just about everywhere, you found the one place on Earth where smoking is virtually mandatory.

17. You answered a lonely hearts ad from a guy named Raoul. One thing led to another, and now you're kind of stuck.

18. After a really great party, you woke up in Beijing with no idea how you got there. You were looking for your country's embassy to try to get home when a local came up to you and said "You English me. 50 an hour."


Any more???

« Last Edit: November 19, 2019, 01:34:27 PM by Escaped Lunatic »
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Raoul F. Duke

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2009, 02:40:56 AM »
I'm sticking to the same reasons I've always had:

I wanted to learn to sing old soul classics and Motown hits in Chinese, and tour Mongolian barbecue restaurants world wide. I do a version of Ray Charles' "Shemme Wo Shuo" (What I Say) that'll just knock yer socks off. uuuuuuuuuu
"Vicodin and dumplings...it's a great combination!" (Anthony Bourdain, in Harbin)

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we're building the corrupt, incompetent, baijiu-swilling buttheads of tomorrow!" (Raoul F. Duke)

Lotus Eater

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2009, 05:40:29 AM »
Chaos and being totally confused most of the time are natural to me.  I had figured out the system in Oz (only too well) and needed to return to my natural state.

wOZfromOZ

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2009, 06:36:48 AM »
Lovely pretty girls, bike riding without a helmet, beilandi ......

              ............not necessarily in that order rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2009, 08:09:00 AM »
In chronological order:

1. I'd been to China long ago.  These folks are nice to foreigners, and if their mah jong opponent's cleaning lady's niece's coworker's cousin's son goes to your school, you are IN.  You have people looking out for you from the get-go.  The fact that they're making a killing off of you, and likely fleecing you in the bargain, just underlines how safe you are.  uuuuuuuuuu agagagagag :lickass:

2. It's the farthest place to go without iceberg's, rebel armies or a religious jihad.  :wtf:

3. They have an insatiable economic demand for precisely the things I'm good at: English,   yyyyyyyyyy teaching,  yyyyyyyyyy socializing,  agagagagag and clowning around.  pppppppppp

4. Similar yet different point: they see me as a combination of Einstein, Gandhi and the Fonz.  :respect:

5. Another similar theme: have you SEEN these women?  ararararar

6. I'm three times as attractive here as I am back home.  ababababab afafafafaf

7. Okay, I get sick of it sometimes, but Chinese cuisine is arguably the best in the world.  In fact, it's at least 6 distinct cuisines, 5 of which I adore.  cecececece

8. For all the yelling and bickering, they're a gentle bunch.  Ignore the cheating, cutting in line and atrocious driving, and you're left with folks who rarely have it in for you.  acacacacac

9. They'll pick your pocket and swipe your bike, but if you want to avoid trouble, you easily can. oooooooooo

10. Cheap DVD's. I've watched as many movies in China as I had my entire life.  You know that Imterpol warning about pirating DVD's?  dddddddddd

11. I can buy an entire TV series and watch them in order.  akakakakak

12. In one sense, I work harder here than I could back home- the nature of the work energizes me.  In another, more accurate sense, I work way less.

13. I have more disposable income here than I ever had in my life back home.  I'm not afraid of money.  :banana:

14. You get to know other foreigners well, in a wartime type of way... without the bullets and disintery (sp?). Friendships are intense, and if you're in a big city, there's a ton of folks to pick through.  :grouphug:

15. Plus there are heaps of Chinese folks, some of whom are awesome.  akakakakak

16. I have a weird urge to sit by a canal in my pajamas, composing poetry on my day off.  China was clearly my destiny.

17. Have you been reading about all the ugly shit going on around the world right now?  China might be the only country whose economy grows this year.  Hell yes, I'm staying put!  :wtf:

18. The city I live in is older than Christ, and built with an ancient tradition of taste that conveniece stores and Starbucks just can't tarnish.  atatatatat

19. YEs, it's crooked, but it's getting better.  I can't believe how far China has come in the last 5 years!  vvvvvvvvvv

20. So long as we don't make trouble, the authorities don't really give a shit what we do.  aeaeaeaeae

21. Shanghai and Beijing are truly amazing metropoli.  I could never afford New York or London.
And there is no liar like the indignant man... -Nietszche

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. -William James

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George

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2009, 08:16:51 AM »
I can live my life comfortably, safely, and without hassles. China is (remarkably) close to many Asian countries with great food and gorgeous women. Money goes a long way here. Why go home and be governed??
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joe

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2009, 06:27:57 AM »
First off...Hello!

Brand new here, I'm Joe, from the U.K, greets go out to all of you!

Didn't know where to post first, then spotted this thread...

My reasons for coming to China:

1. I've been to Hong Kong before (my brother worked there designing toys for a reputable company I won't mention..but it was cool.

2. There's nothing that really inspires me other than the thought of teaching in China. There's no jobs here.

3. I love outdoor culture, street culture...the way you see old men just sitting about playing dominoes or Go (I think thats what they were playing?)

4. Life here as far as I can see is work until the weekend, drink til the momnday, work til the weekend.

5. A lot of my mates aren't going anywhere with themselves...they'll be hanging about the same places as they did 5 years ago (Normally not a bad thing, but there's nothing to do here)

6. Could you go to a more different place!? (other than Japan!)

7. The people are great!



See you in China soon!

George

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2009, 06:40:50 AM »
Welcome aboard, Joe. Reasonable reasons! agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
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joe

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2009, 06:54:06 AM »
Cheers George!

That was a quick reply! I can think of another reason. I'm sat here in the cold (can't afford heating) writing an essay on ethnographic cinema of the 1950's. I see China as a reward for 3 years of useless essay writing on subjects that I just don't have an interest in.

I'm not usually this miserable..it's just nearly 7am and I've been up forever writing this essay!

I'm so excited about the prospect of China...Maybe I'll travel around before getting into a job, but all I know is, I'm getting out of here to see a completely new way of life, and maybe start learning things that really do interest me!

George

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2009, 07:01:30 AM »
Plenty of people in China without heating, but hopefully, you won't be among them. I hate writing essays for no other reason than to pass an exam. Most useless exercise ever invented! When do you hope to hit China??
The higher they fly, the fewer!    http://neilson.aminus3.com/

joe

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2009, 07:06:37 AM »
Yeah but Chinese summers are lovely, are they not?

I'm hoping to come pretty much as soon as I graduate...July maybe. I just need to get myself a TEFL! Learning Chinese as an extra module on top of my studies this year, starting next week. Are you a teacher too?

George

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2009, 07:11:36 AM »
Yes, been here 7 years, teaching. llllllllll Well, I think I've been teaching. Sometimes it's like the little smiley there.
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The Local Dialect

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2009, 08:18:49 AM »
Yeah but Chinese summers are lovely, are they not?

I'm hoping to come pretty much as soon as I graduate...July maybe. I just need to get myself a TEFL! Learning Chinese as an extra module on top of my studies this year, starting next week. Are you a teacher too?

The summers are lovely ... unless you're in Beijing! Summers in Beijing are awful.  asasasasas

My reason for coming to China?

When I first came over to China, I was on a foreign exchange program through my university. I came to study anthropology and Chinese, a reasonable motivation. When I arrived I found that pot grew wild on the streets of Kunming. As you can imagine, very few college students would be able to resist such temptations. I was on the next plane back as soon as I graduated.

Of course, the reasons why I stayed would be another post entirely, and have nothing -- or very little -- to do with leafy green substances, rest assured.  bibibibibi

joe

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2009, 08:50:50 AM »
Quote
When I arrived I found that pot grew wild on the streets of Kunming. As you can imagine, very few college students would be able to resist such temptations. I was on the next plane back as soon as I graduated.

Of course, the reasons why I stayed would be another post entirely, and have nothing -- or very little -- to do with leafy green substances, rest assured.

That's the best reason I've ever heard! Thats so ridiculous! Genius.

psd4fan

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Re: China, the REAL reasons
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2009, 09:08:11 AM »
1. Wanted something new
2. Hated my life situation with a passion
3. Knew this would be an adventure
4. Wanted something outside of my comfort zone
5. Like history
6. Never tried a crouching toilet
7. Wanted to try such famous brand names as Neke and Adidix. akakakakak
8. Asian girls are so hot