I bumped into a few recruiters during my job search and found them to be a large waste of time. The fact that I don't hate them may be the result of short exposure.
I do like chinatefl, technically not a recruiter. The Uni I accepted for my first China job found me there.
But back to the OP. Wow, what a great read.
It took me over a year of scouring the net to figure out what you wrote in a single post. What took you so long??