Movie/film thread: resurrected

Calach rightly left out the Alien vs Predator crossovers. They're shit. The first one is a bravura display of actually wooden histrionics by nearly every actor involved, and has dialogue so leaden you can see it not bounce when it hits the floor. The second one is.... both generic and parochial, which is kind of the opposite of Alien. Horror flick set in a small USA town with high schoolers? And Aliens? I skipped large parts of it so who knows it might be good for what it is but I'll never know.

I thought the first AVP wasn't all that bad.  On the other hand, I think  that those behind AVP 2 need a few years of remolding through labor before they are allowed to get involved with any more movie projects.

Then again, any extensive series of movies is likely to have a few that just don't work right.

I happened to watch Alien vs Predator again just this weekend, and the poopiness of that poop is fresh in my mind. Alexa Woods, the Antarctic guide, was an okay Ripley surrogate, but holy crap did that movie show it's goofiness when she latched onto Charlie Wayland as a Newt surrogate. Even before that bizzaro development, characters were dropping leaden lines like pipe. One has literally only to view the first five minutes to see how dialogue is going to work in this movie.

A tech and her supervisor look at a data stream from [a satellite]

Supervisor
What is it?
Technician
It's the data stream from PS12.
SUPERVISOR
Big Bird. Where is she?
TECHNICIAN
Right above Sector 14.
SUPERVISOR
There isn't anything in Sector 14.
TECHNICIAN
There is now.

Dun-dun-DUUNNNNNN!

The most egregious though was that wholly crappy Hicks surrogate, Sebastian, literally spelling out an aphorism. "The enemy of my enemy," he says, and pauses, AND WE WONDER WHAT COULD POSSIBLY FALL NEXT FROM HIS GLISTENING LIPS. "Is my friend," he says.

But when we have to rely on an actual Predator for character development, the movie is just shit. Predators act out their hunter's code. They don't become buddies with future prey. And they do not stand around getting maybe hot and bothered about how capable the Ripley surrogate is and how maybe, just maybe, they might jump those bones with the flesh still on them..... yuckola with a pile of ew on top.

But when we have to rely on an actual Predator for character development, the movie is just shit. Predators act out their hunter's code. They don't become buddies with future prey. And they do not stand around getting maybe hot and bothered about how capable the Ripley surrogate is and how maybe, just maybe, they might jump those bones with the flesh still on them..... yuckola with a pile of ew on top.

Now that would have been an interesting sequel.  The predator decides to take her home to his personal dungeon. - 50 Shades of Predator.

Technically, since going to Earth and killing themselves some "Alien" was a rite of passage, the Predator, who for all we know is female, is, or was, a juvenile. The Ripley surrogate being the older woman, that Predator might be more of a Dustin Hoffman and the sequel will be his 1960s breakout hit, The Preduate.

Logan "Noir" (2017)

Same as Logan (2017) but in high contrast black and white. You can in principle make your own black and white showing of any movie - go to wherever your video player has its "Contrast", "Saturation", and "Gamma" settings: set "Saturation" to zero (to remove colour), kick "Contrast" up a notch (to make the blacks and whites separate more strongly) and maybe also up the "Gamma" a smidge if the image becomes too dark (don't use any Brightness settings for that, they'll wash out the contrast effects) - but studio-released B&W is better. They know what they're doing with the levels and what they're trying to highlight.

As for the movie, it's one of those that does benefit from the black and white treatment. A lot of the physical structure and composition effects become that much more pronounced. It ain't just "art", there's a storytelling effect too, a starkness that suits how austere and severe the story is. I thought I might even reevaluate my opinion of the ending. What I will say is high contrast black and white is best viewed in high def too - really good quality video makes the most of the black and white, and allows you to see some of the high speed action that works so well in this movie.

Severe black and white also works for this movie because, for a superhero show, they did rely on some quite subtle storytelling in glances and passing reference. Like, for instance, when the X-24 seems to come out of nowhere and you're like, wtf? But it doesn't in fact. It was introduced quite early on and all the necessary details are present for you to know what's going on.

Ergo, high score: 

Technically, since going to Earth and killing themselves some "Alien" was a rite of passage, the Predator, who for all we know is female, is, or was, a juvenile. The Ripley surrogate being the older woman, that Predator might be more of a Dustin Hoffman and the sequel will be his 1960s breakout hit, The Preduate.

I think we have a winner!  AVP 3, The Preduate.  A young hot predator (of indeterminate gender) just graduating from Alien Extermination University pursues an older female human action hero.  Both families object, and both sides are well enough armed to cause some serious havoc.  Can they be convinced to accept that true love knows no bounds?  Will the Preduate also find himself attracted to his/her/3rd gender possessive GF's 18 year old daughter?  Can we think of an excuse to put the couple in suspended animation long enough to let them meet Ripley?  Will nuking the site from orbit really be the only way to make sure?

lol

Mrs. Ripley: Benjamin, I am not trying to nuke the site from orbit
Benjamin: Voooom-wop-wop. Guggle-uggle-uggle



 

Free Fire (2017)

Shootout shenanigans in 1978 - 

T2 - Trainspotting (2017)

Not a bad followup to the original. A lo-o-o-ot of callbacks to the original movie, but this one is quite a bit different - much more about reunion than junkies. The only actual junkie left is Spud, who becomes a more prominent character in this flick.


 

John Wick 2 (2017)

Mean, dumb, kind of like kinesis but with people. Flashy, I guess, and colourful, but empty.

 

Free Fire is considerably superior.

Life (2017)

Gravity (2013) meets Alien (1979)

Add a fantastically icky body-horror monster in the Alien mold to the slick, floaty, Pale Blue Dot capsule world of Gravity and you get... LIFE! But it's not life as we know it, Jim. IT'S LIFE THAT'S GOING TO KILL US ALLLLLLLLLL AIEIEEEEEE!!!!! NB: if you can't watch even kissing on screen, this is really not the movie for you. I was saying yuck a lot. Effective body horror, though. Mos' def.

 

ALIEN COVENANT - 

Perfect?  No.  Equivalent to Aliens?  No.  Up their with the original Alien?  Close enough!

Will save any spoilers (and inevitable debate with Calach ) until others have had a little more time to see it.

Wonder Woman;  I went to see this because I'd seen most of the other movies. I was pleasantly surprised. Have any of you folks seen it yet? 

The Fast and the Furious 8: Fate of the Furious (2017)

Indulgent beginning. Backstory without much heart. But otherwise, a movie jam-packed with outstandingly ridiculous action, colourful side characters, and a bloated, tired motive in "family". Worth it for the car zompocalypse. You don't need to know much about the other movies to get through this one. Just know that it stretches on a bit toward the end.