Raoul's China Saloon (V4.0 Beta)

The Bar Room => The Love, Marriage and Family Board (ON-TOPIC) => Topic started by: yli on July 20, 2012, 01:18:18 PM

Title: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 20, 2012, 01:18:18 PM
Story:

0.) I am socially inept and useless, or at least I believe that to be the case. Apparently, women are attracted to me. I have always found this to be mind boggling.

1.) I met this girl on the subway. She is well out of my league.

2.) My roommate (who's Bengali and not Chinese) started talking to her. She doesn't speak English at all so I translate for my roommate.

3.) We talk for a while. She leaves me her phone number and tells me to call her. Note that I didn't ask her, she just gave it to me.

4.) My roommates put me up to calling her, so I do. I manage to ask her out by telling her that I'm new to Beijing and that I would like for her to show me around. She says yes despite the fact that I woke her up (she was asleep already) I'm supposed to meet her at Wudaokou at 10 p.m Saturday night. I might change it so that the festivities start earlier.

5.) Did I mention I just moved into my apartment, which is a fucking mess? I can't take her back to my place if she asks me to.

6.) What the fuck do I do?
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: zero on July 20, 2012, 01:35:14 PM
What is the real question? You just go. Maybe dinner, coffee, a walk, things like that. Is the concern that you are socially inept? In those cases, a low-talking activity such as a movie can be good, although that kind of defeats the purpose of "showing you around." Some people open up after an alcoholic beverage, but it's also easy to overdo that, so I can't recommend it. To be honest, a little fear is your friend. It keeps you acting neutral and nonoffensive and keeps you from making that off-color joke when you first meet someone. I imagine it is built in evolutionarily so that we don't drive off potential mates.

As for the concern about your apartment being a wreck and not being able to bring her back there. This seems discordant with the concern about being socially inept... At any rate, I can't see why there would be a rush to bring her home the very first night. It's not a 40-yard dash. Get to know her first.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: ericthered on July 20, 2012, 01:52:29 PM
Well..uhm...here is what you do:
1. Go to supermarket. Purchase garbage bags, lots of garbage bags. Disposable rags, various versions of Mr. Muscle, more rags, perhaps some bleach, toilet cleaner, quite possibly new toilet brush, large bucket, mop, new broom and dustpan.
2. Go home. Put good music in whatever music playing dohicky you have. Choose an area of apartment and get to tidying. Throw out anything broken/useless. Deposit bags outside as they fill up. Tidy, tidy, tidy. Then it is time for Mr. Muscle and the rags. Then it is time for sweeping and the dustpan. Then floor cleaning. Especially the bathroom should be spotless. Basically, imagine that your uptight wealthy aunt with a Howard Hughes-like approach to dirt is coming over and she is going to update her will. Dirt makes her angry and she is bringing white gloves...
3. Go meet the girl. True, there is every chance that she will not return to your domicile but, as my granpa always said, you should always leave your home ready for entertaining unexpected female company...my grandpa was a...a...err...the word is playa/player or some such  agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Just Like Mr Benn on July 20, 2012, 02:28:32 PM
I am so sorry, but I'm confused about the nationalities and languages in play here.

This is all because different cultures have different rules. If she's Chinese and doesn't speak English, then you must speak Mandarin, so surely you're acquainted somewhat with the rule book for dating Chinese women.

Anyway, the point of a first date is to find out about them. The chances are everything you think she is, she isn't. It might be a nightmare. It might be the most exciting night of your life and put everything else in your life into a new context.

However, (assuming she's Chinese) play it safe. No trying to hold hands, no kiss goodnight. Just get to know her. The risk of her thinking you're gay will be more than offset by the risk of coming across as a typical laowai. If she doesn't speak English, then it seems improbable that she's your run of the mill laowai stalker who wants to have babies with you because they;ll be beautiful and thinks that all <insert your nationality> men are <insert stereotype>. If she's showing you around, then she'll come up with a plan which remove the annoying necessity to think or make decisions.

Are you Chinese? If so, we can't teach you all our barbarian magic by Saturday. We're bred from birth to be superior love Gods.

If you want help, give us some mf background.

Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: ericthered on July 20, 2012, 02:46:50 PM
This could also not be a date...You might find yourself in the presence of x number of giggling Chinese girls and propelled into the mind-numbing tediousness of the hell that is KTV...So I highly recommend you ask her directly if this is a one-on-one thing or if she is brining an entourage of rapid-fire Chinese speaking gal pals. If indeed she is, you are better off staying home and cleaning IMHO.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Fozzwaldus on July 20, 2012, 02:48:39 PM
Are you Chinese? If so, we can't teach you all our barbarian magic by Saturday. We're bred from birth to be superior love Gods.


 ahahahahah ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on July 20, 2012, 05:00:44 PM
Fill your wallet with cash.  Pick her up and tell her that where you go and what to do is totally up to her.  Try not to cry too much as your wallet quickly moves from full to empty. ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 20, 2012, 08:59:35 PM
I really feel sad when I read all this. alalalalal  I know that the world has changed a lot and that I am old, so I hope you guys will understand where I'm coming from. What on earth would you gain from a date with someone you couldn't really communicate with? Yeah, I know that there is an obvious answer!  bibibibibi
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: opiate on July 20, 2012, 10:53:03 PM
I don't understand what you are worried about. Why do you think she is out of your league? It is just a woman. I find your lack of self confidence a little troubling. China though, can do wonders for a mans self confidence and ego...I wish you luck.

I would not recommend you modify your behavior in any way. If you want to hold her hand...do it. If you want to kiss her...do it. If she wanted to date a Chinese guy, she would not have given her number to you so no need to try and act like a timid Chinese boy. Just be yourself, whatever that entails. If she likes you...great. If she doesn't...not a problem. There are millions more.

Do not take this thing so seriously. Relax and have fun.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: The Local Dialect on July 21, 2012, 12:40:04 AM
I think the OP is Chinese - American. He was born in China but raised in America since early childhood, so culturally he's just as American as he is Chinese, if not moreso. He speaks Chinese well because of Chinese parents but did not grow up here. Make more sense?
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Borkya on July 21, 2012, 03:28:24 AM
I really feel sad when I read all this. alalalalal  I know that the world has changed a lot and that I am old, so I hope you guys will understand where I'm coming from. What on earth would you gain from a date with someone you couldn't really communicate with? Yeah, I know that there is an obvious answer!  bibibibibi

Actually, as a freshly single person with only an elementary level of chinese, I find dating to be the best way to practice my chinese.

A person has to be slightly patient to be willing to spend a couple hours talking chinese to me, and local people, like shop clerks and restaurant owners, don't have much time. But a date is the perfect opportunity because, yeah, there is a little more incentive to be attentive to each other right?!

And its nice to know you can't fall back on english (which is what happens if you try speaking chinese to your students, or other chinese teachers) if you go out with a local person.

And if its a really good date,  afafafafaf then you yearn to improve your language skills even more. Dating is way better motivation than say, a final exam or classwork.

Plus, it sounds like the OP can speak chinese, he was translating for a friend and talked to her on the phone.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 21, 2012, 05:29:31 AM
I think the OP is Chinese - American. He was born in China but raised in America since early childhood, so culturally he's just as American as he is Chinese, if not moreso. He speaks Chinese well because of Chinese parents but did not grow up here. Make more sense?

Bingo.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: kitano on July 21, 2012, 06:50:46 AM
Get drunk beforehand to overcome shyness

Turn up in the clothes you slept in last night to show that you aren't a 'try-hard'

Make a point of staring at her breasts and so on to make her feel appreciated

Talk about yourself a lot

After about 30 minutes ask her if she wants to come back to your house to 'party'. If she says no offer her 100rmb to sweeten the deal

 ababababab
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 21, 2012, 07:45:28 AM

After about 30 minutes ask her if she wants to come back to your house to 'party'. If she says no offer her 100rmb to sweeten the deal


Remember, my apartment is a dump, I'd have to pay a minimum of 5000 RMB to get her to go with me if she knew just how filthy my domicile was/is.

Also, no time to clean, I work work work work work.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Stil on July 21, 2012, 12:04:17 PM
She liked the guy she met on the subway. Be that guy.

Make some decisions. Don't keep asking her what she wants to do.

Stop reading this, so that you are not late. Make sure she is not waiting for you. You wait for her.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 21, 2012, 09:38:30 PM
Sorry I misunderstood yli. Since you can communicate, just go out and have fun. bfbfbfbfbf Given our time difference, I hope that is what you are doing. agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 22, 2012, 09:44:11 AM
That went better than I thought. The bizarre rainstorm made it impossible to visit my place anyway, so we just got a hotel room.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Fozzwaldus on July 22, 2012, 11:05:32 AM
That went better than I thought. The bizarre rainstorm made it impossible to visit my place anyway, so we just got a hotel room.

playa  *high-five-emoticon* 
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: NATO on July 22, 2012, 11:13:31 AM
(http://media.funlol.com/pictures/12696.jpg)
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 22, 2012, 02:33:19 PM
Alright, I now have a girlfriend.

Hoo boy. This is a new experience.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 22, 2012, 02:54:19 PM
Girlfriend? After one night?
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: George on July 22, 2012, 07:05:39 PM
Fast worker!! agagagagag agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 22, 2012, 08:29:40 PM
Wow!!! Things have certainly changed since I was a young lady! Take care yli and remember which head you need to think with. bfbfbfbfbf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 23, 2012, 05:11:58 AM
Wow!!! Things have certainly changed since I was a young lady! Take care yli and remember which head you need to think with. bfbfbfbfbf

Thank you, I'll try to think with the correct head. If you don't mind me asking, what was it like when you were a young lady?
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: BrandeX on July 23, 2012, 06:03:30 AM
A one night stand in a hotel =\= a new gf where I'm from, but hey ya'll strange to me.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Stil on July 23, 2012, 11:39:20 AM
It's not a one night stand if they keep seeing each other.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 23, 2012, 02:20:04 PM
My and my girlfriends always live by the rule "If you like him then never sleep with him right away". Guys tend to not make a relationship from a one-nighter.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Just Like Mr Benn on July 23, 2012, 02:22:27 PM


 play it safe. No trying to hold hands, no kiss goodnight. Just get to know her.


and there you have all you need to know about my skills as an agony uncle.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on July 23, 2012, 04:12:20 PM
Woohoo!  Scored and got her as a GF. agagagagag

I'll reiterate my earlier advice - try not to cry too much as your wallet gets emptied.  GF's are expensive.  ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: zero on July 23, 2012, 05:02:06 PM
20-to-1 odds that she told him within the first five minutes of the date, "I'm a very traditional Chinese girl."
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 23, 2012, 09:11:53 PM
yli, when I was on my first real date, I'd left home and was Nursing at the other end of Australia in Darwin. What an eye opener! aoaoaoaoao  I grew up with male friends since I had six brothers. I remember though, that girls who allowed themselves to be "mauled" by males, were known as the "town bikes". In a small Country town, everyone knew your business, so I guess the majority of us behaved as if our parents were watching us. (which they were) Even if you were engaged to be married, public displays of affection were limited. A motel room or sex, particularly on a first date, would have had the town talking for weeks and the girl and boy on the "rubbish" list. I do know that things have changed a lot, but I would rather that my Grandsons got to know a lot more about the girl before having sexual relations with her. Perhaps it is all too easy and casual now, which may account for the large number of divorces and second, third and fourth etc marriages. With the amount of casual sex now, I'd be terrified of catching a disease, particularly after I see so many not washing their hands after going to the toilets. I'd hate to imagine what is going on in their pants personal hygene. I am trying to give you an idea about when I was young yli, not lecture you, so I hope you understand. bfbfbfbfbf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 24, 2012, 01:44:30 AM
I know you said that your place was a real mess but your new girlfriend may want to come and clean it for you. Sounds great right? Just be careful that she doesn't come to clean and then never leave (unless you want that). I had a roommate before and he would hook up with a girl and bring her home. Four days later she hasn't once left the house. She finally leaves on the fourth day only to return with a big bag of her things.

I find with Chinese girls, there are really two types. The more traditional girls and the more open, modern ones (I usually term them bar girls). The modern ones are fun but I'd say about 90% more prone to crazy behaviour and drama. Not trying to knock anyone, just a small warning as I've sat with many a guy friend complaining.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 24, 2012, 02:21:43 AM
20-to-1 odds that she told him within the first five minutes of the date, "I'm a very traditional Chinese girl."

Close. She's an ethnic Mongol (so am I, but that's another story). It probably explains why she's much more forward and aggressive with regards to sexuality than most Chinese girls.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Fozzwaldus on July 24, 2012, 08:13:31 AM
20-to-1 odds that she told him within the first five minutes of the date, "I'm a very traditional Chinese girl."

Close. She's an ethnic Mongol (so am I, but that's another story). It probably explains why she's much more forward and aggressive with regards to sexuality than most Chinese girls.

Hmm. Logic fail. Does that also explain why you were so timid? Or, were you not in fact nervous at all, just coming online to pave the way for some anticipated hi-fivery?

ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 24, 2012, 09:17:15 AM
20-to-1 odds that she told him within the first five minutes of the date, "I'm a very traditional Chinese girl."

Close. She's an ethnic Mongol (so am I, but that's another story). It probably explains why she's much more forward and aggressive with regards to sexuality than most Chinese girls.

Hmm. Logic fail. Does that also explain why you were so timid? Or, were you not in fact nervous at all, just coming online to pave the way for some anticipated hi-fivery?

ahahahahah

My timidity was mainly because I did not feel I could be hospitable as a host, due to the state of my apartment. Also because I (probably falsely) believe myself to be socially inept.

As for moving in, I'm fine with it, as long as she can make up the rent from when I kick out one of my roommates to make room for her.

Also, the whole thing went way better than I thought it would (I thought it would end awkwardly, with absolutely no physical contact), so I wasn't really fishing for anything at Raoul's.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on July 24, 2012, 04:22:37 PM
Close. She's an ethnic Mongol (so am I, but that's another story). It probably explains why she's much more forward and aggressive with regards to sexuality than most Chinese girls.

Ooooohhh... I've always had a fantasy about being conquered by a Mongol girl - or, even better, by a horde of Mongol girls. afafafafaf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 25, 2012, 07:12:59 AM

Ooooohhh... I've always had a fantasy about being conquered by a Mongol girl - or, even better, by a horde of Mongol girls. afafafafaf


I was certainly pillaged.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Arnold J. Rimmer on July 25, 2012, 10:42:23 AM

Ooooohhh... I've always had a fantasy about being conquered by a Mongol girl - or, even better, by a horde of Mongol girls. afafafafaf


I was certainly pillaged.

 axaxaxaxax

 agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 25, 2012, 01:06:24 PM
If this girl is now your girlfriend is it really cool to go online and brag about scoring with her? bibibibibi
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 25, 2012, 01:11:14 PM
See? Told you. Socially inept. I think it might be too late to edit that one out.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on July 25, 2012, 04:27:30 PM
If this girl is now your girlfriend is it really cool to go online and brag about scoring with her? bibibibibi

Want me to tell you about some of my earliest dates with my wife. afafafafaf

Besides, Yli's GF is a descendant of the greatest conquerors the world has ever known.  I'm sure she's already bragging about pillaging Yli over on MongolGirlConquests.com. ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: George on July 25, 2012, 07:17:21 PM
Pictures, or she doesn't exist!!
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: ericthered on July 27, 2012, 12:33:40 PM
Pictures, or she doesn't exist!!

Indeed... agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 27, 2012, 03:23:36 PM
Pictures of the girl, not you and she doing the act bhbhbhbhbh


 afafafafaf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 27, 2012, 05:23:08 PM
Such pictures shall eventually be posted. Have some patience.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Fozzwaldus on July 27, 2012, 05:30:56 PM
Such pictures shall eventually be posted. Have some patience.

Dude, you boast about shagging a girl (or being shagged by a girl, by the sounds of it  ahahahahah) and then you want to put her pictures on the internet?  bibibibibi
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 27, 2012, 09:54:28 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fozzwaldus. bibibibibi  I remember being very hurt when a guy I was dancing with, told me that I was known as "The great white virgin" at the RAAF base. The guy I thought that I was getting engaged to, or some of the guys that I'd casually dated, must have told someone that I did not engage in "sexual activity". I think that changed a lot of things in my life when I broke away from those guys and went in a different direction because I felt so betrayed by guys I thought were my friends. I lost my virginity (shortly afterwards) to a much older and smarter guy and then began the darkest days of my life. alalalalal  Fortunately I eventually got my life back in order and was very fortunate to meet the love of my life whom I married; I had no secrets from him. bfbfbfbfbf  I do know that the world has changed yli, but given that you too appear very inexperienced, I would be VERY careful about how much information I shared, particularly about a young lady. In hindsight I would have done things differently and you will eventually probably think the same way when you are much older. I don't think that I would be wrong in saying that most of the guys here would think carefully about what they would like to see made public about their own daughters, sisters or mothers. That's my two bobs worth yli and I hope I have not interfered in your business too much and I wish you all the best; you sound like a nice guy to me.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Arnold J. Rimmer on July 28, 2012, 12:03:02 AM
Just throwing my name into the 'post the pics ' camp. Let's see!  bhbhbhbhbh  afafafafaf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Stil on July 28, 2012, 12:15:15 AM
Chicks love pictures of themselves yili.

Also, something I've learned recently is that if she's wearing jewelry, then she's not really naked.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: mustachioed-ken on July 28, 2012, 01:45:15 AM
Although I wanna see pics/hear details etc, yeah, maybe you should hold off until you've been going out for like a month and then be all casual about it, like 'hey, you don't mind if I show your pics to some mates online?' etc.. I mean, if you say that it sounds better than "can I put your pics up on a forum online?' cause then it sounds like you're dangling photos over the noses of salivating wolves.

But yeah - we're all hooked on your story. It has a character arch. We just need more cowbell.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: kitano on July 28, 2012, 05:22:04 AM
I know a girl who is mongolian who lives in Beijing so it might be her!

I think this is a weird way to introduce yourself 'help guys, i am worried about my date'

'oh yeah she won't be walking anywhere for a while'

Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 28, 2012, 07:10:43 AM
I would be angry as hell if a guy posted about scoring with me on the internet and then thought about posting my picture. I'm pretty sure that if you said to her that you mentioned sleeping with her and asked if it was okay if you posted her picture she would decline (and be super pissed with you for sharing in the first place).

There is and probably will always be a double standard for men and women when it comes down to sex. A girl who sleeps with a guy on the first date is easy and a slut while the guy gets a high five. I think she would be mortified about this whole thread. I know I would be.

Oh, and if she knows the whole situation and still says sure....run! She's a nutter aoaoaoaoao
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Arnold J. Rimmer on July 28, 2012, 10:15:24 AM
I would be angry as hell if a guy posted about scoring with me on the internet and then thought about posting my picture. I'm pretty sure that if you said to her that you mentioned sleeping with her and asked if it was okay if you posted her picture she would decline (and be super pissed with you for sharing in the first place).

There is and probably will always be a double standard for men and women when it comes down to sex. A girl who sleeps with a guy on the first date is easy and a slut while the guy gets a high five. I think she would be mortified about this whole thread. I know I would be.

Oh, and if she knows the whole situation and still says sure....run! She's a nutter aoaoaoaoao

The key is that she doesn't find out  afafafafaf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 29, 2012, 02:54:05 AM
There is and probably will always be a double standard for men and women when it comes down to sex. A girl who sleeps with a guy on the first date is easy and a slut while the guy gets a high five. I think she would be mortified about this whole thread. I know I would be.

I honestly didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. I figured though that I was going to tell you all what happened because I owed you guys the rest of the story.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 29, 2012, 04:12:23 AM
yli I don't think you are a bad guy just did something without thinking the whole thing through. Girls do not like their sex lives posted up on a forum usually.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: rattie on July 29, 2012, 08:55:39 AM
Granny Mae, Babala, respect and kudos to both of you, it may be heat exhaustion but I found myself becoming rather irritable while reading this thread, and noticing the path it has taken.
I had an experience similar to Granny's, but the opposite, does that make sense? I think I'm trying to say, my sexuality was being talked about, I did the deed the first time with a young apprentice spray painter that worked in the same auto shop as my beloved brother and my dad, brother came back from buying morning tea to find the tea room brethren convulsed in laughter about what an easy root Stan's daughter was! Eddie picked him up by his throat and told him that his baby sister had given him the most precious thing a girl can give to a boy and that he should be grateful for that, not smearing her reputation, then Eddie threw him down a flight of stairs, Eddie had just come home from Vietnam and was still a very angry young man! When he got home that evening he told me he had a bone to pick with me, took me for a walk and gave me a talking to that I can still hear 35 years later.
My feelings on your story? If what happened between you and her was meaningful to you, look after it protect it and keep it private, respect her. If it was a pleasant romp with a girl you don't care about, don't play 'nice boy looking for advice' bullshit games, surely you have a local pub you can run to for bragging to your mates about scoring!
Apologies if this has come across as a tad aggro, but it is very hot and I am grumpy.
Rx
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: kitano on July 29, 2012, 11:15:37 AM
I don't think it's that bad!

It is a bit silly to me with him going 'oh I don't know what to do' etc and then he got laid and he's all like 'high fives' but it all seems really innocent to me. And it isn't 'allover the internet' it's just on this one forum!
and he didn't disrespect her it sounds like he wants to start seeing her...

Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 29, 2012, 11:22:47 AM
Posting that you scored with a girl is disrespecting her. As I said before, things are just different for men and women. I realize that he just did it on this forum but one thing I've learned is that China may be large but in the foreign community, it's a village. Anyone could read this site and if he posts a picture, anyone in Beijing could recognize her.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 29, 2012, 11:51:08 AM
I just wonder why the reaction of the women on the forum is so drastically different from that of the men (PICS! NUDE! NOW! vs. Shame on You!).

Right now, I'm caught in an awkward middle place, because the first post was legitimately asking for advice (I hadn't had any "encounters with a female of the species since I graduated from college a couple of years back) and things turned out much better than I thought, etc. etc.

But I'll take the advice of the ladies of the forum and not bother with posting pics.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Fozzwaldus on July 29, 2012, 11:55:57 AM
listen mate, don't overthink it, this is a forum and therefore is full of talk and contrasting opinions

you haven't done anything wrong at all, in my opinion... but I'd advise against posting any pics, just as a general rule if nothing else  bjbjbjbjbj
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: babala on July 29, 2012, 12:41:01 PM
I'll explain why the women on here have a different opinion from the men. Either we ourselves or someone we know has been the "talk of the moment" for having sex. I knew a girl here who would go out have one nighters. She was known around town as a slut. Meanwhile the guys would sit around talking about their scores and visiting the local chicken bars and nothing was said about them.

The other thing you may not realize is that women judge other women even more harshly then men do. If your new girlfriend's friends found out about her, they would no doubt look down on her.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: ericthered on July 29, 2012, 02:26:06 PM
we never said nude pics...but the reaction from the ladies is understandable...well, if this lady is still your gf after..ehh...3 months, I think you can share a picture. As for the the girl's friends and discovering you...I have not as yet encountered anyone in China who, upon after meeting someone for longer than 5 seconds, do not immediately share pictures of them on renren, weibo, qq and whatever else the youngsters are into these days.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Stil on July 29, 2012, 04:37:31 PM
yili, now you know why, when a girl asks you what you are thinking about you should say... "nothing"

There's a men's thread upstairs with thousands of pictures of zero's conquests and it bothers none of us.

Your mistake mate is using "guy talk" in mixed company.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 29, 2012, 08:53:42 PM

But I'll take the advice of the ladies of the forum and not bother with posting pics.

Good thinking yli! bfbfbfbfbf By the way,I get the impression that you don't have a sister. I can generally tell if any of the ladies I speak to, grew up with brothers. I find it very interesting to read about the male perspective on different situations, particularly where their wives or girlfriends are concerned. I hope that you are learning and will continue to learn as you get to know the rest of the family from Raoul's Saloon. agagagagag  As a matter of interest, if you ever need any help or advice which may need a female perspective, please do not hesitate to send me a personal message and I am sure that the other ladies would also be happy to help.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on July 30, 2012, 01:46:22 AM
I personally would be happy if Yli starts a photo thread for hot Mongolian girls he hasn't scored with. agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: mustachioed-ken on July 30, 2012, 01:53:17 AM
Well, it's not uncommon to show people pictures of your girlfriend/boyfriend (this happens all the time and most people wouldn't even consider it necessary to 'ask permission'). We weren't asking for nude pictures.

But key factors here are you already told us you slept with her after the first date AND this is a forum OPEN TO THE WORLD. So yeah, taking these two factors into consideration, I guess you should take the advice of the ladies (funny how none of the guys realized this until the women pointed it out) and ask for permission OR just avoid the issue altogether. She may just have a problem with you even asking (especially if you went out of your way to tell her the entire truth - the fact you came on here, asked for advice, then shared your success... btw, as honest as I like to be, I'd advise you NOT to tell her the whole truth, hell, into you're at least 6 months deep.)

But yeah, I don't think you should feel guilty. Cheer up and enjoy the ride. And goddamn, that backpack of Harry Potter/ Obama and Sonic rocks.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Stil on July 30, 2012, 04:50:23 AM

funny how none of the guys realized this until the women pointed it out


You think we didn't notice? Really? You see any of us posting pictures of our trysts?

I'm not trying to get into a car crash but if someone else is, I'll look. I might even cheer.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: mustachioed-ken on July 30, 2012, 06:20:49 AM

funny how none of the guys realized this until the women pointed it out


You think we didn't notice? Really? You see any of us posting pictures of our trysts?

I'm not trying to get into a car crash but if someone else is, I'll look. I might even cheer.

Well it's not like we asked for her full name, place of work, location and phone number.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: zero on July 30, 2012, 07:00:41 PM
Quote
We weren't asking for nude pictures.
Speak for yourself.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 30, 2012, 09:00:56 PM
You think we didn't notice? Really? You see any of us posting pictures of our trysts?

Exactly!


I'm not trying to get into a car crash but if someone else is, I'll look. I might even cheer.

I won't state the obvious here in case it starts an argument we don't need in the Saloon. Yli, it should NOW be VERY clear to you, that not everyone has YOUR best interests ahead of their own. kkkkkkkkkk  Just something for you to think about yli..... How would you feel about things if you were to meet some of the Saloonies and you also introduced this young lady to them, particularly if your relationship, with her, becomes very serious?  I think you have your answer right there.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: George on July 30, 2012, 10:13:26 PM
I think maybe we are taking this a tad too serious, like. I guess my facetious remark about "photos or we don't believe", was taken literally by some people.  bibibibibi
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on July 31, 2012, 03:38:22 AM
I think maybe we are taking this a tad too serious, like. I guess my facetious remark about "photos or we don't believe", was taken literally by some people.  bibibibibi

Since everyone here holds you in the highest esteem and considers your posts to be filled with the deepest wisdom, how could we not take that as a literal command? ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on July 31, 2012, 05:19:27 AM
And with this thread, the Saloon has collectively voted me too stupid go Upstairs.

Oh well.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: George on July 31, 2012, 05:40:54 AM
Quote
Since everyone here holds you in the highest esteem and considers your posts to be filled with the deepest wisdom, how could we not take that as a literal command?

Perzakkly!!

Quote
And with this thread, the Saloon has collectively voted me too stupid go Upstairs.
Yli, you are too young to go upstairs, yet. Be patient and continue posting, and your case will be considered. But, not without pics!! ahahahahah ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Stil on July 31, 2012, 04:16:18 PM

And with this thread, the Saloon has collectively voted me too stupid go Upstairs.

Oh well.


George is upstairs.

There's hope for everyone.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: George on July 31, 2012, 07:17:25 PM
Cos I have pics!! agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on July 31, 2012, 09:03:36 PM
And with this thread, the Saloon has collectively voted me too stupid go Upstairs.

Oh well.

Yli, asking for advice does not make you stupid, so never stop asking. There are many folks here who have a lot of knowledge about China and many here go out of their way to help their fellow Saloonies. agagagagag  I must say that many of us did indeed take literally, suggestions of your providing photos. Perhaps this was a good example of how men and women think very differently. I hope everything is going well for you.  bfbfbfbfbf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on August 01, 2012, 02:52:12 AM
Grannie Mae,
Speaking of pics, where are those special pics you promised me? afafafafaf


Yli,
Hang in there.  Please go ahead and post some pics of pretty Mongolian girls you aren't dating. agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on August 01, 2012, 08:47:47 PM
Sorry about the photos EL, but I'm technically incompetent. llllllllll If my Grandsons lived a bit closer, they could even teach me how to use a mobile phone and all these other gadgets I see the young folk on the bus using. bibibibibi ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on August 02, 2012, 08:20:29 AM
You'll just have to come over and let me help you with those technical details. afafafafaf

I promise not to post too many of the pics online. afafafafaf afafafafaf afafafafaf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on August 02, 2012, 08:52:51 PM
You'll just have to come over and let me help you with those technical details. afafafafaf

I promise not to post too many of the pics online. afafafafaf afafafafaf afafafafaf


Thanks EL! You are a gentleman and a scholar. bfbfbfbfbf  yli, please take note! uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 19, 2012, 10:41:35 AM
Update!

1.) I'm still with her.

2.) I got my own apartment. It's still a mess though. She doesn't seem to care.

3.) I actually did everything Kitano suggested earlier in the thread on. Thanks Kitano!

4.) I'm afraid I'll lose her if I leave China and head back to the US.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: MK on December 19, 2012, 11:03:26 AM
1. Saw this thread was updated.

2. Thought we were finally getting those pics.

3. Was disappointed.

4. Remembered world is potentially ending in the next couple of days and I shouldn't be wasting my time looking at non-existent pics of a stranger's girlfriend on the internet.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 19, 2012, 12:30:34 PM
Pictures will come in due time.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on December 19, 2012, 09:01:25 PM
Good to hear that things seem to be going well for you both! bfbfbfbfbf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on December 19, 2012, 11:51:56 PM
Congrats Yli! agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag

Getting conquered by a Mongol girl sounds delightful.  I recommend against heading back to the US.

You took advice from Kitano? aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao  I'm too terrified to scroll back and see what he suggested.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: James the Brit on December 20, 2012, 07:05:18 PM
Yli, no offense but as a socially awkward human, even I know the answer to this.

You take her out for food, drink, make her laugh. When she sees the state of your place, again laugh it off.

It's not rocket science buddy.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 20, 2012, 08:17:09 PM
This advice would have come in handy 6 months ago and I wouldn't have had to take Kitano's advice instead.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: kitano on December 21, 2012, 08:42:17 AM
It works 60% of the time, all the time ababababab
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 21, 2012, 12:28:13 PM
Yeah, anyway, I'm going to need some more advice from the Saloon regarding Point #4.

At some point, I'd like to further develop my career and life goals by going to graduate school in the US. Unfortunately, this girl (let's call her Sunshine) has made it abundantly clear she will not follow me there. Sunshine is older than I am with a thriving career and she won't just walk away.

If I go back to get my PhD in the US, that's about 4-6 years I'll be out of China. She won't wait that long for me and I won't make her.

Escaped Lunatic suggested that I not head back to America. I'm thinking of staying here. I don't want to lose her.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: kitano on December 21, 2012, 02:01:36 PM
Could you not do a lot of your PhD long distance?

I bet there will be a lot of universities that offer that option, online courses are pretty good nowadays. It depends on the degree of course....
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: MK on December 21, 2012, 03:13:00 PM
Definitely look into doing your PhD whilst staying in China if that's what you want.  In addition to distance programs there's also a lot of Western uni's with Chinese partners and all kinds of cooperation going on - New York University are the big US players opening a whole new campus in Shanghai soon, but there's a lot of smaller scale cooperation going on too.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: The Local Dialect on December 21, 2012, 03:56:11 PM
You're a lot younger than EL. I wouldn't necessarily listen to him on this, as you and he are at vastly different stages of life.

I don't know. Personally, I'd make sure that this girl absolutely is the one before you derail any personal goals for her sake. Has she introduced you to her family? Talked about marriage? Is she going to be happy staying with you if you don't do anything to advance your career? Ambitious successful Chinese women usually also have ambitions for their partners. You're a teacher? Will she get frustrated, at some point, with your career and the relative lack of upward mobility associated with it?

It isn't going to get any easier to go back and get a PhD with time. Ask me how I know. While I don't regret marrying my husband and starting my family, doing so basically made going back for a PhD extremely impractical, if not impossible. Also, if your girlfriend has basically said that moving to the States is off the table completely, then she's asking you to decide, right now, to make China your home for the rest of your life. That's not a decision that I'd make without a few more years here under your belt.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 21, 2012, 06:27:06 PM
You're a lot younger than EL. I wouldn't necessarily listen to him on this, as you and he are at vastly different stages of life.

I just turned 24, so maybe. I'm not sure how old EL is. 30s maybe?

Quote
I don't know. Personally, I'd make sure that this girl absolutely is the one before you derail any personal goals for her sake. Has she introduced you to her family? Talked about marriage? Is she going to be happy staying with you if you don't do anything to advance your career? Ambitious successful Chinese women usually also have ambitions for their partners. You're a teacher? Will she get frustrated, at some point, with your career and the relative lack of upward mobility associated with it?

I switched jobs because I realized that I could do something else besides teach English. I now work for Microsoft and occasionally as a freelance translator.

Quote
It isn't going to get any easier to go back and get a PhD with time. Ask me how I know. While I don't regret marrying my husband and starting my family, doing so basically made going back for a PhD extremely impractical, if not impossible. Also, if your girlfriend has basically said that moving to the States is off the table completely, then she's asking you to decide, right now, to make China your home for the rest of your life. That's not a decision that I'd make without a few more years here under your belt.

She's not asking me to make a decision right now, but she's afraid I'm just some tourist who'll bolt the second things get a bit rough. Which come to think about it, was my original escape plan with regards to this place.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on December 21, 2012, 09:30:25 PM
yli, may I ask Sunshine's age?  Your heart is telling you to stay, but your logic is telling you that you have (hopefully) many many years of life ahead and that in reality, your QUALITY of life may depend on qualifications you obtain while you are younger and before you really start getting into debt by buying a house and having a family. Statistically, in Australia at least, more people are having at least two marriages and many are now not bothering to marry and are frequently changing partners. I was speaking to a 47yrs old English guy yesterday who came here to Australia in 1988 (24yrs ago). He was just a young guy like you travelling around however he met this great lady and married her and a child was born. Now, he is broke and pays child maintenance and lost his house and money in the divorce. He too has no real qualifications and works in a manual job to keep a roof over his head and food on his table. His future is so bleak that he does not date anyone and he talks to old ladies like me. I don't know him that well, but my observations are that he is a very sad person who looks at the attractive young ladies walking by. He knows that he can't afford to touch the "goods" so he just watches the world go by in between going to work in a menial job.  Yli, I feel for you and I am sorry that none of us can give you the answer to your problem ; there are too many variables.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: CaseyOrourke on December 23, 2012, 10:03:16 AM
Give her some time.  If you decide to go to the states on a short visit, ask her if she wants to go just to visit.  She may fall in love with the place just like Mrs. Casey did in her first week there.  If you decide to get married then in a few years decide it is time to go home, her love for you may outweigh her desire to stay and when she realizes you are willing to go the ends of the earth for her, she may be ready to do the same for you.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: The Local Dialect on December 23, 2012, 11:50:02 AM
El is past his 30s. He can elaborate if he wants, but I think it is safe to say that he's "established," if you know what I mean? He's not just starting out in his adult life, he'd been through buying a house, marriage, jobs, all of that in America before coming here.

I think it is one thing to come to China in your 40s, 50s or 60s and decide to stay here forever, but it is another thing entirely to do it at 24. And I say this as someone who came to China at 23 and has been here for 10 years now. I have spent pretty much my entire adult life in China, and I will just say that if there is something you want to accomplish back home, be it a PhD, a career, whatever, it will be much easier to accomplish it now than it will be 10 years down the road when you have a possible family to support. Even if the plan now is to stay in China, you may find yourself in a position at some point down the road when you need or want to return to America and you don't want to be stuck with no qualifications and no marketable experience.

I will say that I used to make the decision to stay in China every year. It was renewable. But when I got married, that wasn't the case anymore. China is going to be home until one day we decide it isn't. And it might never come to that. Anyone who is getting into an international relationship/marriage needs to realize that there is always going to be one party who has to be away from home, possibly forever. I will say quite honestly that I don't think it is fair for either party to take either country completely off the table. This is going to sound harsh, but I think if you're going to be inflexible about where to live, you probably shouldn't marry someone from another country (I suppose unless that person also has no desire to live in their home country). It isn't fair to say "I want you to make this ultimate sacrifice for me but I am not willing to do the same for you."

Luckily, I think Casey is right. A lot of people say no initially, but when you have a family you put the family unit first and I think most are able to compromise their individual wants if a move to the other country is in the best interests of the family. But this is something you should really sit down and talk with her about. If you're going to be a unit, a real unit, there needs to be compromise on both sides.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 23, 2012, 04:06:41 PM
I'm not going to tell you guys Sunshine's age, but she's at the point where her career's already established. My career on the other hand is just getting started and I have a lot of decisions to make.

This is the first time in my life I've had any responsibility towards another human being.

And it appeared all of a sudden, 10,000 miles from home, in a context that most people never have to think about or deal with.

Sunshine is great girlfriend, but China is a harsh mistress.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on December 23, 2012, 09:24:47 PM
I think you know what you need to do yli! Now that you have a bit more life experience under your belt, I hope that you will find your decision easier to make. bfbfbfbfbf I really wish you all the best in your journey through life. agagagagag
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on December 23, 2012, 11:40:42 PM
Tease me about my age and I'll beat you with my cane. bgbgbgbgbg

Before I teach TLD a few new ways to say "I'm sorry I made you sound so old.  Please stop hitting me. cbcbcbcbcb", I have a few age independent questions for you:

Are you happy living where you are?

Can you imagine living most (possibly all) of the rest of your life in China?

How's life "basking in the Sunshine?" afafafafaf

Can you imagine yourself with her in 10 years?  20 years?  30 years?  40 years?  50 years?

If the answers to all of the above are positive, you really need to look into long distance education and contemplate how to pursue your career inside China.

If you aren't sure (a very distinct possibility), don't rush the decision.  You could think about long distance education even if you aren't looking to stay with Sunshine forever.

There are three things in life you need to fear:

1.  Settling down with the wrong person.
2.  Throwing away your chance with the right person.
3.  Marauding packs of ferrets. 

The good news is that #3 is irrelevant to your current dilemma. ahahahahah  The bad news is that those can happen anywhere. aqaqaqaqaq

As mentioned, don't rush this.  A PhD could be very important to you.  Staying with (or getting away from) Sunshine is an even more important decision.  Happily, since you're only half as decrepit as I am, you have plenty of time to consider your options.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: The Local Dialect on December 24, 2012, 02:33:52 AM
Nothing wrong with being old! And you're hardly nursing home material anyhow. :P But you're also not 24, which was my point. You often talk about deciding to stay in China and how happy you are with that decision, but I think age and experience is a factor in that.

Even when you settle down with the "right" person, international marriage can be a real breeding ground for resentment when one partner feels like their ambitions were thwarted or that they're stuck somewhere they don't want to be (and this goes for her too, not just you). I'm not saying you should break up with Sunshine or go back to America, but give some real consideration to the possibility that she alone might not be enough to make you happy in China forever.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on December 24, 2012, 03:06:34 AM
Nothing wrong with being old!

I see I'm going to have to get out some of my special floggers for TLD. cbcbcbcbcb cbcbcbcbcb cbcbcbcbcb

Quote
But you're also not 24, which was my point. You often talk about deciding to stay in China and how happy you are with that decision, but I think age and experience is a factor in that.

Life changing decisions can come up at any age.  Sadly, we can't ask Yli to wait an extra 24 years before making his choice here.  I do hope he'll give all of his options very deep and careful consideration.

A PhD and career in the USA could rock, or it could result in a lifetime of "if only I'd stayed as glorious Sunshine's personal conquest."

A distance learning PhD, a career in China, and a life as Sunshine's personal conquest could rock, or it could result in a lifetime of "if only I'd fled in terror when I had the chance."

Quote
Even when you settle down with the "right" person, international marriage can be a real breeding ground for resentment when one partner feels like their ambitions were thwarted or that they're stuck somewhere they don't want to be (and this goes for her too, not just you).

International and inter-cultural marriages definitely do have their challenges above and beyond "normal" marriages.  I recommend both parties buy an extra sense of humor or two, since it's easy to lose one when things turn surreal.

Quote
I'm not saying you should break up with Sunshine or go back to America,

With Mongols, it's not called breaking up.  It's called fleeing for your life. ahahahahah

Quote
but give some real consideration to the possibility that she alone might not be enough to make you happy in China forever.

That's what happy ending foot massages are for. afafafafaf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on December 24, 2012, 05:21:18 AM
There's a lot of stuff I need to think about. I'll get back to you guys with my decision once I'm done thinking.

The thing is, unlike most expats, I know the language and culture intimately. This further complicates my decision making process.

Maybe in 3 years or 5, I'll wonder if I should have fled towards the treeline instead of offering myself up to the barbarian invaders. Who knows?
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on February 20, 2013, 03:34:35 PM
I think my future will be tied closely to China. I've already started to read much more Chinese and I'm trying to figure out what skills are in demand here so I can work here long term. Being a translator/interpreter is not a stable path to success.

Teaching English on the other hand, is just a dead end. (No offense guys.) The biggest key is to learn the Chinese language and read day in and day out. I'm trying to achieve a more 专业 level of Chinese so I can work in a truly professional environment.


We'll see what happens, but I'm not leaving China.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on February 20, 2013, 09:29:11 PM
Thanks for letting us know how things are going yli. I often wonder how you are faring. My observations are that no matter where you are, you are going to need to read and write and speak Chinese; I think it will eventually become the lingua franca. As your views change over the years, and believe me they will, I think that you are ultimately going to benefit from your experiences in China. bfbfbfbfbf
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on February 21, 2013, 06:51:30 AM
I don't think Chinese will be the lingua franca, simply because the Chinese people and government aren't really putting all that much money or effort into exporting Chinese language/cultural highlights.

That being said, it's certainly still a language that's worth knowing.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on February 21, 2013, 09:45:04 PM
yli, If you came to Oz, you would understand what I mean. The Chinese have purchased a lot of our Country and we suspect that it will be for food production. There are other indicators here and would you believe that middle class Chinese are being lured here to gamble? I heard on the news last night that they are going to build a HUGE Casino here in Brisbane, because my city is not at all like a lot of big overseas cities; we are more like a very large country town and I for one like it that way. I am not being racist, but am talking fact, that when I go to the "den" (Casino) I make bets with myself about how long it will take me to see an "Anglo" from when I enter the car park. When I go upstairs to eat my lunch, I may as well be in China, because the majority of folk there are speaking Chinese which is really irritating given that this is supposed to be Australia and I have no idea what is going on around me. I can go on for ages, but I think you get my drift and it is not only at the Casino. I've said it before, but I keep urging my Grandkids to learn Mandarin otherwise they will be at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to their employment. bibibibibi
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Escaped Lunatic on February 21, 2013, 11:42:18 PM
We'll see what happens, but I'm not leaving China.

The new Mongol Empire has begun, one conquered FT at a time.  ahahahahah
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on February 22, 2013, 03:00:09 AM
We'll see what happens, but I'm not leaving China.

The new Mongol Empire has begun, one conquered FT at a time.  ahahahahah


I'm not a teacher  xxxxxxxxxx

I am *so* glad I stopped doing that.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on February 23, 2013, 09:01:22 PM
yli, may I ask how things are going with Sunshine?
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on February 25, 2013, 05:58:01 AM
Things are going fairly well. I'm probably going to take a vacation with her in the US sometime in the middle of May. I thought my parents wouldn't approve of her but they had lunch with her and they liked her.

The only problem is that our work schedules are messed up. We don't get to see one another as often as we like.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on February 25, 2013, 10:53:13 PM
Thanks yli, I'm glad that things seem to be going well for you and Sunshine. bfbfbfbfbf  I think life was much easier in my day. I had many male friends before I met the man I knew that I would marry. I went out with rich ones, poor ones, famous ones etc but the man I chose was the one that had a mind similar to mine. Looks were not a consideration although my husband had a nice smile and laughing eyes. It probably sounds strange yli, but I knew, within about 10 mins of meeting and talking to him, that he was the one. My husband and I went through many tough years financially, but our love did not waiver as we had to endure periods of separation because of work; my husband out on our property and myself working and staying in town and with a baby as well. We did not do this for financial gain or to buy fancy houses and cars etc, we did it to survive. He passed away suddenly 24yrs ago last December and I have never taken a romantic interest in any other man. I thought that I would tell you that yli so that you could perhaps understand my concern and interest in how things are going for you. 
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: yli on February 26, 2013, 07:38:22 AM
Sunshine is an agoraphobe who hates attending gatherings where more than 3 people are present.

She's also exceedingly practical, composed, organized and down to earth. I'm a fucking asocial space cadet who walks into stop signs.

I have no idea what drove her to take the subway the day we met since she says public transportation makes her skin crawl. I'm not sure whether it was luck, fate, religion or something else that happened but I am so glad she did something so out of character that day.

Thank you for your advice and concern, your wisdom and insight is important to me and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way either. I'm far from home and I'm not on the best of terms with my parents so it's good that someone cares.
Title: Re: Date. Saturday Night. Help.
Post by: Granny Mae on February 26, 2013, 09:19:18 PM
It is interesting how things happen yli!  I am happy for you that this nice lady, Sunshine, has appeared at a time in your life when a bit of constructive feminine input could be very important in your life's choices. bfbfbfbfbf  I do care yli and I think that you will find others who are happy to try to help you with many things, given their experiences in China. agagagagag