This week's avatar: alternate headings

Donate to the local PSB Benevolent Fund, or else we'll stop arresting criminals.

Perhaps, but I think the banner will be requested by USANIA Congress as the "bailout banner."

Perhaps, but I think the banner will be requested by USANIA Congress as the "bailout banner."

 :th_bk:

So true!!!!

Chinese headbangers take the concept a little too far.
 

The Chinese attempt to recreate the famous scene from the movie 'Scanners' proved more dangerous than had at first been anticipated.

"Excedrin headache Number 5-0-3...."

The PLA's new initiative to cure blockheads gets off to an excellent start. 

Foreign teacher initiation as reenacted by PLA.

In the wake of devastating earthquakes, many members of the People's Liberation Army, always ready in times of need, have volunteered for a more personal and heartfelt role in the development of Great and Green China.  Zhang Feng, pictured, leads the way. 

As is suitable Zhang and his team, employing the simple yet moral technological axiom, "take from the West what is good and discard what is bad", and long aware of the traditional British oligarchy's habit of hanging their dead from the castle walls, have developed a revolutionary method both for the early warning of impending disaster and the simple fortification of all new buildings.  Seen pictured preparing for his new role as human foundation stone for a classroom in Northern Sichuan, Zhang Feng and three colleagues, along with seven auxiliary battalions of the PLA, will be hammered into the ground at critical wall junctures on all four sides of any new building.  This architectural innovation is known simply as the "English" Corner.  It is understood that while both holding up one whole side of a building and warmly exhorting our young people to study hard, should these brave and selfless soldiers feel any tremor or vibration, they will also call out loudly to warn the little scholars and encourage them to run.

Zhang, shortly after his first structural impact examination, was interviewed by a Reuters correspondent.  When asked about the experience, Zhang appeared to sink deep into thought.  "What's your lane?" he asked, dazed.

Our correspondent bore Zhang's wandering middle distance gaze stoically, perhaps reminded by Zhang's mere presence that there are worse things than miscommunication.  Then Zhang appeared suddenly to wake up.  "How about Chinese?" he asked.

Our correspondent was moved, but declined.

Other advances in modern structural engineering include the "Fire Alarm", which includes screaming when burnt by fire, and "CCTV", aka lounging around a supermarket for 12 hours a day, or, as seen on actual TV, one vcd player + a video camera = a national broadcaster.

I thought simply "Traditional Chinese Education" would have done it. But CP, your English Corner deserves a 

And from that day on, as they had promised, Chang never stuttered again.

The PLA's new quality control system finds defective bricks more quickly than all previous methods.

John, if ye dinna withdraw yer han' from unner me kilt, NOW, I'm gang ta stick this champagne floot whir th' sun niver shines.

 A Man's a Man For A' That

Why...Nothing is worn under me kilt; 'tis all in perfect working order!!

Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first
prize"

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"