EL, you have been very quiet about "Fifty Shades of Grey." Have you seen it yet?
OK, watched it.
Considering the subject matter, I had high hopes. Sometimes it's so much better to go in with lower expectations.
Damn do I hope the novels are better. After the movie, I'm less than enthusiastic about exploring the possibility.
SPOILER ALERT
Allow me to summarize:
Her: Aaaahhh... *thud*
Him: Girls who fall down in my office are sexy. Think I'll be flirtatious.
Her: He's cute.
Next scene
Him: I'm interested in you.
Her: I'm interested in you too.
Him: Get away from me!!!
Next scene
Her: I just called to say I'm drink and I hate you.
Him: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!
Her:
Him: Girls who puke really turn me on.
Later:
Him: I like dominating girls. I want them to obey me in all things.
Her: But I'm a virgin.
Him: Since this is a special occasion, I'll waste 2 whole minutes of my precious time on foreplay before deviginizing you.
Both: Ooh, ah, oh. (takes about 2 more minutes
)
Her: I think I love you.
Him: Get away from me!!!
Later:
Her: I thought you didn't want to see me.
Him: I'm obviously deranged. After all, I stole your car.
Her: So you really really want to spank me hard?
Him: Yes.
Her: I WANT to know! Do it! DO IT NOW AS HARD AS YOU DARE!
Him: *smack* *smack* *smack* *smack* *smack* *smack*
(if that's as hard as he dares, he'd be thrown out of the local B&D club)
Her: You sick bastard! How could you! I hate you! I'm never seeing you again! (unless there's a sequel)
So, what we have is:
A guy who has a very nice and expensive set of toys, wants a girl who wants to be owned and is totally devoted to his every whim, yet freaks out the moment she shows any hint of getting an emotional attachment.
A girl who obviously isn't into kinky games, yet keeps shifting between Yes and No - and then she finally asks for a firm spanking as hard as he's willing to give, yet goes into a mental meltdown over 6 smacks that won't leave her with even a trace of a red mark a few minutes later.
These two both need therapy. He fails as a dom. She fails as a sub. They both fail at a normal relationship. Both are so indecisive, it's surprising either can cross the street without a helpful boyscout as a guide.
As an intro to D&S/B&D/S&M, etc., it's a pale shadow of the true eroticism that some practitioners can reach. It's also like an after school kids' special compared to the extreme levels some people can take things to.
As mentioned, I haven't read the books, so don't know if this lackluster attempt at a movie exceeds the novels or fails to live up to them. I also don't know if this is only the first part of the story or the whole thing. In any event, I'd have to be pretty bored or read a very encouraging review from someone I trusted (like Granny Mae
) before wasting time watching a sequel if there is one. Yes, there were a few moderately erotic scenes, but not enough to make it worth wading through the all-encompassing perpetual state of confused indecision the main characters were kept in.
P.S. If you want to see a glider flight as part of an extended seduction, it's done 1000 times better in the 1999 version of
The Thomas Crown Affair.