I'm not pushing my luck. I have been here for a long time and the quality of threads and the language has been going down.
That is both an opinion and a moral assessment that some members might not share.
I know a few people who stopped even reading because of that. And I personally have very little desire to read or post.
That's sad. It's too bad. However, in the end it is also a personal choice. It is one you are choosing to make. Nobody has forced anyone's hand here. Is it so hard to ignore words that are not used in an aggressive, epithet, personally attacking manner? Really. I ask in all seriousness. Are people so sensitive that we have to police ourselves over every single, intangible thing that happens to crack the unpredictable nerves of a clear, relative few? Are we going to have to walk upon egg shells over any perceived slight because of the fickle nature of a few who are demanding that an entire forum live up to their demands or they threaten to leave? Isn't that little more than a very roundabout way of saying, "you don't play the game my way so I'm taking my ball and going home," mentality.
Perhaps proving an individual is above perceived ills would best be put into action by learning how to ignore, learning to contact perceived offenders directly, and trying to talk things out? Mods here are incredibly fair and there's always a line of communication to them. I certainly have experienced this. So, how is it that you cannot address the members directly in private message and hash things out if things are as bad as you perceive. Maybe speaking up in public than complaining to moderators will remind some people who are not here to offend you that, hey: they are offending you.
Unless I've missed something, no one has forced any member to leave. Not one member has publicly gone out of their way to harass another member, liable them, or belittle them in very personal, very private ways. Outside of two instances where the moderators quickly stepped in and restored order, I am curious where this "hostility" is prevalent. Is it the "b. s. wrestling pit?" It is called the "b. s. WRESTLING pit," for a reason. Without providing very clear and specific examples, then it's hard to follow your criteria of things, "going down."
Anyway, I am still posting about it because I care. I have great friends here and I hope for this place to be pleasant for anyone who lurks or posts.
I agree. I fear members will be scared away because a vocal minority are incapable of doing the mature thing and ignoring those sparsely used words that offend them. I wonder if potential members are turned off because they are looking for a place to have productive, mature discourse and dialog that is totally absent from the cafe. There is indeed such a thing as mutual respect, however, making veiled ultimatums implying your absence is because people were using words you disagreed with is placing your feelings as the bar which we must live under when we post anything.
Fluff threads that go on and provide no social value could scare away members. Should we not have them? I think there is a great deal of warmth and a great deal of room here for the saloon to continue providing a viable alternative to the greasy spoon. Because some people flat out refuse to ignore sporadic, tasteful cussing we must then bend to their whim?
I think addressing hostility deserves another post because, though it can be connected to cursing in a valid argument, I haven't seen a hell of a lot of it here associated with cussing. Is it that any debate is perceived as hostility by you? If so, then maybe I can see your point of view, though I think it says less about the state of these forums than it does about an individual's perception.
Is it possible that you are reading hostility into things that are not actually posted with hostility? That happens when there is an inability to see the body language or hear the words spoken.
Is it possible that you do not personally know new members here like I am guessing you know old members here, and because of this, you are reading way too much into new voices? if so, perhaps that ties into an inability to accept gradual changes in the public mores.
It's shame that members feel they are being "driven" away, but membership is growing, loads of useful information is flowing, and there is a refreshingly honest candor and maturity on this board that has made it haven in a land where there are times when individuals need respite from the brain police. Working in a land where there are citizens with overly sensitive, fragile egos, ready to take offense at the perceived slight upon their culture or nation - despite an actual slight not existing - can be bad enough, but to have this forum transmogrified into a virtual mirror of the society we are working in: well, that's not a saloon. It's a church.
In the end, a decision to leave is up to the individual. To each their own. It'd be a loss if you left, but it appears that this is a situation where people who are not getting their way are threatening an exit rather than bringing a community together. It comes off more like a threat than an actual sign of community.
It'd be a shame to see you go, but in the end it's a decision you make for yourself and your own best interests. I think George is onto something when he sees a microcosmic shift in saloon atmosphere based upon a dearth of new members, meaning new personalities. A pinch of Darwin applies here: adapt, Cheeky and not only will you survive, but you will thrive. No one is asking you to change your words or expression. No one is forcing you to do that. It's just incredibly sad that you feel like you'd rather walk away than rise above perceived offenses and continue posting so that you can keep the qualities you apparently love about the saloon viable, valid and perhaps even profligate the bad mojo you see as having altered the saloon experience for you.
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