1) Where do you go to get your hair cut? In a new city I wander the back streets looking for a place that charges 5RMB. If they look happy to see me I go in. Usually keep going to the same place, even if their first effort is a disaster, and train them to do what I want. This, of course, will not stop them from reverting to the way they h walked down Main ave been trained if given the chance.
2) Do they have the red & white pole outside? I never look at the pole. Best sign is a whole lot of small towels flapping in the breeze.
Poles do give some indication I suppose. I remember an American, who had returned to the States, saying that every time he walked down Main Street and saw a barber's pole he got a hard on.
3) Any useful phrases that anyone knows to avoid a hirsute castastrophe. (Phonetic, pls)
None that I know of. I know some that give a clear indication of what I want but a determined hairdresser is going to say, 'I know,' and give you their version of a good haircut. Body language - like grabbing their arm and looking pissed-off - does not help as it is likely to induce panic and they will attempt to hack their way out of the problem.
4) Is Chinese hair gel really so strong that it'll leave you looking like Cameron Diaz in "theres something about Mary" (nice quiff)
No idea - I think gel is something used by footballers and I am a rugby man.
5) Since I'll be taking my own clippers is it worth getting a clued up winsome student to help out?
I think you should leave the clippers at home - once you get here you will figure out why I say that
6) finally any hair cut horror stories would be most amusing!
When I was teaching in Zhanjiang an American joined our staff. He been an MP in the US Army, and had an impressive physique (6'5"+), but his most outstanding feature was a pony-tail that came down to somewhere near his waist.
One day I heard his door slam so violently that I went over to see if he was ok.
He was not ok. He had been for his first haircut in China and was now sans pony-tail.