Your worst advice in 2 sentences or less.

Just be open and honest with journalists. They're your friends.

A serious moment: After 8 years of working to present good advice, passing a few smelly farts has been a helluva lot of fun. Good on ya, EL, for a really fun topic.

OK, let's see here...

"Chinese cities vary a lot in basic product availability; other cities may not even have basic needs you can get in your home city. So when you travel, always carry as much as you are physically able, everything you could even possibly need or want."

"To charm a Chinese girl, rub her breasts counter-clockwise over a boiling pot of Yin-Yang hot-pot soup. Then, introduce yourself."

Don't worry!

"To charm a Chinese girl, rub her breasts counter-clockwise over a boiling pot of Yin-Yang hot-pot soup. Then, introduce yourself."

Hey, wait a minute.  I thought this thread was for bad advice.  That's how I met my wife.


Remember, "Hello" in Chinese means "Please use me for your sexual pleasure and if I don't suit your tastes, I have a sister.", so take advantage of all those very friendly and open invitations.

Come to China. 

Sneak up behind Raoul and . . . YODEL!!!  He'll appreciate it.

3000 RMB is a good salary.

I promise you that it will be done tomorrow, trust me.

Traffice laws are rigorously enforced in China.

There's no need to wash your hands before eating our touching your face in China. Everyone else washes theirs, so most surfaces are remarkably sterile and your risk of picking up germs is very low.

When you're cruising for girls at a bar, look for the ones with large hands and an adam's apple (bonus points if she's named Lola).  Those are the best ones to take home to meet your family.

After getting yelled and pursued by a police man:

1."Pretend you don't speak any Chinese"
2.(much quieter) "Shit, pretend you don't speak English either"

 

Recycled cooking oil is healthier. 

No countries really care about all those silly little details on visas, like duration of stay or whether or not you're allowed to work.  Once you're across the border, stay as long as you like and get a job if you need one.

Jump.

Shellfish bought at the street market in Shenyang is always healthy and delicious.