You, Fozz and LD should get iPhones.
Whether real life matches the propaganda or not, Android is "open". This means an Android phone is more like a hobby kit than a consumer electronic device. This will change eventually, and Google, particularly with Android 4, has been moving toward making the system more friendly to non-enthusiasts. (And the bigger phone companies, like Samsung, keep trying to put developers in employee instead of superstar roles.) But it's not there yet.
Interestingly, one of the supposed selling points for the XiaoMi phones is they run MIUI, a custom Android rom that issues new updates *every Friday*. In other words, they guarantee a relatively unfinished, unpolished operating system. It has an unabashedly techno geek cred, but, for eg, a friend of mine who's eyes will glaze over at the mention of any computer talk, has an M1.