Giving Birth

RD, not to be contrary, but plenty of women give birth without any sort of pain relief

True, but I'll bet few care to repeat the experience.

Actually, quite a few do. Lots of Western women go without an epidural or pain relief because they believe in natural childbirth, full stop. In fact, a growing number of Western women choose midwives and homebirth because hospital birthing has become such a clinical experience.

Epidurals do have their drawbacks. They have been known to slow/stall labor and the use of epidurals can be associated with a rise in C-section rates. So is induction. Basically, the idea is that the more interventions a person has the more likely they are to end up with a c-section. Natural Childbirth people call it the "cascade of interventions."

I don't care if anyone wants pain relief of any kind, in fact it should always be a woman's choice how she gives birth, and I don't like that women in China are routinely denied painkillers, but natural childbirth without pain killers is not some sort of crazy torture that no one should be forced to endure. In the West we've gone too far in the other direction when people are actually shocked and horrified at the idea of giving birth without pain meds.

Lots of Western women go without an epidural or pain relief because they believe in natural childbirth, full stop.

Well, I never said I understood women.   Personally, I want anesthesia if they're going to do anything more than smile at me.
My daughter was born in Shanghai by C-section, a circumstance where one definitely DO want anesthesia...and my wife was way undermedicated. Left in agony...

Oh well for a c-section, of course! That's ridiculous that she was undermedicated for that. If the epidural isn't working (and for some reason it doesn't work on some people, even if they do have enough medication) the woman needs need to be put under completely. I can't believe your wife was left able to feel major surgery like that, yikes!

Mrs. CO is 15 weeks along and an early November birth is on schedule.  She has decided that around September she will head to Yanji while I stay and work at my job. I'm not worried about care since her brother and best friends are doctors.  She has decided on the C-section since she had one when her first child was born.  I wish he was still around to enjoy the possibility of having a sibling.  She also has a bunch of sisters who have already set up a schedule to take care of her before and the month after.  There is even some discussion that when the wife returns to me, the sisters will rotate through to continue the care till it is determined baby is healthy enough to prosper.  Till then I'm doing my best to make sure Mrs. CO is healthy, happy and well fed.

  Casey!!  Keep right on spoiling the living daylights out of her   That's exactly what you should be doing 

So, we just recently found out that my son has a nuchal cord.

That means that the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck once 

I had never heard of this problem before, so at first it sounded terrifying, but now I have learned that around one third of babies have this issue in the womb. I feel a little better upon hearing that, but I still can't help but worry about the little mite and his mother. Because of this problem it seems that she will probably have to have a c-section, as it prevents him moving to the proper head-down position for birth 

My son and my daughter both had this (son's cord was still around the neck when he was born, daughter's disentangled itself before the birth) and I didn't have a c-section for either. I would be wary of any doctor that told you you need a c-section for this "problem." It isn't really a big deal at. all. Also, it can often resolve itself before birth. Lots of Chinese doctors will try and push the c-section at all costs because it equals more $$$ for them. Chinese doctors love to get the parents panicky about birth stuff because that means they can basically push whatever they feel like pushing and parents will go along with it. You would not believe some of the absolutely crazy stuff I heard doctors recommending when I had my kids. Do your own research and do not let your doctor bully you. If your wife needs a c-section, so be it, but don't let them get you into freakout mode over this.

Don't panic AJR, your kid and wife will be fine!

My son and my daughter both had this (son's cord was still around the neck when he was born, daughter's disentangled itself before the birth) and I didn't have a c-section for either. I would be wary of any doctor that told you you need a c-section for this "problem." It isn't really a big deal at. all. Also, it can often resolve itself before birth. Lots of Chinese doctors will try and push the c-section at all costs because it equals more $$$ for them. Chinese doctors love to get the parents panicky about birth stuff because that means they can basically push whatever they feel like pushing and parents will go along with it. You would not believe some of the absolutely crazy stuff I heard doctors recommending when I had my kids. Do your own research and do not let your doctor bully you. If your wife needs a c-section, so be it, but don't let them get you into freakout mode over this.

Don't panic AJR, your kid and wife will be fine!

Thanks LD.

Did you find out that your kids had that problem before the birth or was it news lo you on the day?

We found out via ultrasound. With my son it was mentioned on every ultrasound, you can see the note that was made in Chinese, says something like "nuchal cord, one loop." My doctors mentioned it and said they'd keep an eye on it, but it wasn't a big deal. When the baby is born usually the doctor can slip it right off. You probably won't really be able to know if the baby can get into position until pretty close to the end anyhow -- babies do not "drop" until the last couple of weeks. I have a friend who was born with the cord around his neck 3 times! He still came out just fine.

My doctors with my son were luckily very hands-off, they even "let" me go quite a bit overdue (12 days) and were not pushing induction or c-section, which is pretty uncommon for Chinese doctors. I was really determined to have a natural childbirth as I think c-sections should be reserved for true emergencies -- it is major surgery afterall and the recovery is no walk in the park.

Right, that sounds very similar to our situation right now. Thanks, LD. You have been as helpful as ever and made me feel much better 

Doc told my wife to go into what is more or less a doggie style position to help get the cord away from her neck. Put your wife into the doggie face down on the bed and arch her back so the belly touches or comes close to the bed. No disrespect meant to you or your wife here, I am not being a dick.

There was a poster sized pic of the position at the docs office my wife told me....another woman even asked to bring it home. Seriously. The doc almost laughed at her. Guess she didn't get enough of the doggie and needs a study guide. She settled for a cell phone pic.

Doc told my wife to go into what is more or less a doggie style position to help get the cord away from her neck. Put your wife into the doggie face down on the bed and arch her back so the belly touches or comes close to the bed. No disrespect meant to you or your wife here, I am not being a dick.

There was a poster sized pic of the position at the docs office my wife told me....another woman even asked to bring it home. Seriously. The doc almost laughed at her. Guess she didn't get enough of the doggie and needs a study guide. She settled for a cell phone pic.

From what we have been told that position you describe is to help the baby get into the proper 'head down' position for birth. My wife was advised to do that before they found out the baby had the cord round his neck.

After we found that out, they said that she should stop doing that position from now on as it could potentially make the problem worse.

Confusing 

I don't see how the problem could get worse by doing exercizes. The cord is long enough to go around the neck and then some, and if there are going to be any issues, it will be at birth, not before. Some babies are born with the cord wrapped entirely around their bodies several times.

The problem with cord around the neck or around anywhere is that if there is too much pressure on the cord it could cut off the blood/oxygen supply to the baby. The baby is not breathing through its mouth at this stage so the cord isn't going to strangle the baby or anything like that. Some babies might have particularly short cords or the loop might be very tight, or there might be multiple loops, which is why for some babies it is a big deal. A knot in the umbilical cord also happens, and that is a big deal. They need to be telling you why your baby's nuchal cord is so much more dangerous than that of the other 1/4 babies who have one.

AJR, would your wife consider going to another hospital for an ultrasound just to get another opinion on the whole nuchal cord thing? It sounds like yours might be a bit of a fear monger. Very typical with Chinese OBs, unfortunately.

I don't see how the problem could get worse by doing exercizes. The cord is long enough to go around the neck and then some, and if there are going to be any issues, it will be at birth, not before. Some babies are born with the cord wrapped entirely around their bodies several times.

The problem with cord around the neck or around anywhere is that if there is too much pressure on the cord it could cut off the blood/oxygen supply to the baby. The baby is not breathing through its mouth at this stage so the cord isn't going to strangle the baby or anything like that. Some babies might have particularly short cords or the loop might be very tight, or there might be multiple loops, which is why for some babies it is a big deal. A knot in the umbilical cord also happens, and that is a big deal. They need to be telling you why your baby's nuchal cord is so much more dangerous than that of the other 1/4 babies who have one.

AJR, would your wife consider going to another hospital for an ultrasound just to get another opinion on the whole nuchal cord thing? It sounds like yours might be a bit of a fear monger. Very typical with Chinese OBs, unfortunately.

I have convinced her to go to another hospital for a second opinion so we will do that soon. The current hospital has started pushing the C-section just like you said, LD. We will see what the new one says...

Another quick question if that's okay. How do you keep your babies cool in summer time? Mrs AJR is really insistent that she cannot use air conditioning after she gives birth, despite the birth being at the roasting height of summer! She says that her body will be too weak and the AC is bad for her. I personally think that's a load of old-wives-tale codswallop, but she won't be moved. Is there any truth in this at all? I'm worried about her being too hot and not sleeping enough, and also very worried about keeping junior cool. I have read that overheating is a major cause of SIDS. The Chinese seem terrified of things that keep them cool like fans and AC. It's a total mystery to me why they think like this.