Raoul's China Saloon (V5.0) Beta
The Bar Room => The BS-Wrestling Pit => Topic started by: Day Dreamer on January 10, 2011, 05:10:02 AM
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Like the sign says, how much of a Middle Kindom ren have you become? I don't mean spit in public or order dinner fluently.
The other day as I was leaving to go to work I noticed something strange about my attire. I am a huge clothes horse, I brought over quite a colllection. Yet, I found that every article I was wearing was made AND bought in China. The shirt, sweater, gouchies, socks, shoes etc. I thought, hmmm. I guess I've been here a while now. It seemed like not that long ago
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I just had noodles for breakfast, washed down with coffee...I mean, noodles...tian na!!! Slowly going native... agagagagag agagagagag
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I find myself walking past McDonald's to a place that has Chinese hamburgers (niu jia mo) for 3RMB.
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Hmm, I gave birth to not one, but two kids in Chinese hospitals. aoaoaoaoao
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Hmm, I gave birth to not one, but two kids in Chinese hospitals. aoaoaoaoao
Now, now, if it was Chinesiest you would only have had 'one' kid. bjbjbjbjbj agagagagag
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I find myself walking past McDonald's to a place that has Chinese hamburgers (niu jia mo) for 3RMB.
I would have thought going into McD's/KFC is considered the Chinese thing to do now
Hmm, I gave birth to not one, but two kids in Chinese hospitals. aoaoaoaoao
Okay, you win but that's not fair.
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Eating the chicken feet in hot pot that my girlfriend's Mother ordered - not something I would consider in the UK
Sean :-)
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I once violently suppressed an ethnic uprising in one of my far flung provinces and then kept it hidden from myself for the sake of harmony. :wtf:
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I once violently suppressed an ethnic uprising in one of my far flung provinces and then kept it hidden from myself for the sake of harmony
I had one last night, down in the fiery nether regions. Thought that blanket coverage would prevent any domestic disharmony, but the coverage shifted and it leaked out. Then the better half of the population became aware of the incident, and I was condemned to a re-education program.
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I once violently suppressed an ethnic uprising in one of my far flung provinces and then kept it hidden from myself for the sake of harmony
I had one last night, down in the fiery nether regions. Thought that blanket coverage would prevent any domestic disharmony, but the coverage shifted and it leaked out. Then the better half of the population became aware of the incident, and I was condemned to a re-education program.
You guys are sick fucks cbcbcbcbcb remind me of me
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I have found myself dropping litter on my own floor to think 'oh, I'll sweep it up later, it's just a floor'.
Next I'll be walking to the shops in my pj's and duffle winter slippers mmmmmmmmmm
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I first came to China just over 4 years ago, but have a 12 year old Chinese daughter, an 8 year old Chinese ward (not quite sure what the term is for her), and more Chinese nieces and nephews than I can count.
I'm currently planning my big fat Chinese wedding. (Happily, my Chinese fiancee is neither big nor fat.)
I attend Dragon Boat practice, both first and second practice sessions, every day leading up to the festival. Next year, they might even be able to make an exception to requiring a local hukou and let me compete in the race.
I live in a Chinese house in a Chinese village. I'm the only foreigner here. I've never even heard of another one setting foot inside my village. (Edit: Oh wait - just remembered. One other USanian was in the village with me one time in 2007.)
I can use a pair of chopsticks with each hand - at the same time.
I love baijiu. I accidentally ended up in a baijiu drinking contest with my village's drinking champion and somehow I didn't even die. I've started an Alcohols of China collection and am trying to get some made in each province. jjjjjjjjjj
I spent New Years Eve in one of the local police stations - drinking with a couple of my local police friends. I even got to play with some of the riot gear. Not even sure why they have the gear. No one local seems to have riots and I only incite them in the city, never in my village. ahahahahah
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Respect, O fat foringer!
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...oh, and I took a hard seat ride from Beijing to Hami (Xinjiang) which is almost three days - all to 'save money'. Hardship, but sweet fun (until I found out they don't dim the lights in any way in seat-class at night!).
I made this journey, err,,, I think about 3 times! Huh.
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not a very Chinese thing to do, but I kind of miss travelling by hard seat. You see, I used to have one route that I travelled once a week (about 4 hours, not 3 days) two summers in a row, and I used to use that time to collect my thoughts stories and what-not in a notebook. I even labelled the book yingzuoche. Now of course my company pays for my flights but on an airplane you don't see the country and meet the people as you do travelling by train.
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I left my tray on the table at subway the other day, despite walking by a garbage can on my way out. I figured since everyone else left their tray on the table, why not me. Of course, I felt a little guilty about it which is not very Chinesy.
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when i was there i eat 22 dumplings in one sitting.
"ai ya! wei shen me?" became an all time expression... bfbfbfbfbf
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I left my tray on the table at subway the other day, despite walking by a garbage can on my way out. I figured since everyone else left their tray on the table, why not me. Of course, I felt a little guilty about it which is not very Chinesy.
You are one dangerous and ornery chick ahahahahah
I don't know why but I just don't feel Chinesy. I fit in with the locals quite well and we have many friends from all levels of society. But I still have that fish out of water feeling.
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first, i try to speak mandarine in the manner of chinese do with chinese slang....hehe
哥们儿！！！哈哈 agagagagag 你咋的啦？啥呀 instead of 什么 uuuuuuuuuu
second...sometimes even dress like chinese people... very funny.... hahaha
and my chinese friends often say that I think like chinese.
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Staring and excitedly pointing out every foreigner I see. bjbjbjbjbj
Also, having 3 meters to walk past someone yet walking as close as possible.
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My favourite snack food is 鸭脖子
Duck's neck
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My favourite snack food is 鸭脖子
Duck's neck
yeah, that sh*t is awesome, especially the way they make it in Chengdu, super spicy bfbfbfbfbf
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Yeah, we like pretty spicy in Changsha too,
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I haggled in a department store in the US last time I was back visiting. Got a hell of a deal on two blazers.
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I haggled in a department store in the US last time I was back visiting. Got a hell of a deal on two blazers.
Did you tell them you know the people who made them? Did you yell and threw a tantrum, or was it civilized?
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Good point, it never even crossed my mind to throw a fit in hopes of an even lower price…I guess I still have a ways to go.
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Go to a "wang ba" (Chinese version of a cybercafe) to have internet access.
There's this local food chain in Anhui province called "Uncle Fast Food" (老娘舅). It has changed my eating habits for good.
Drinking hot water when I'm thirsty.
Feeling sick after drinking juice with ice cubes.
Thinking of a concept in Chinese first. Yesterday, for instance, I was in Nanjing with a friend and we visited an electronics store. I remember wanting to check out a "bijiben diannao", but I couldn't remember the word "laptop".
Saying "a yo!", "a ya!" a lot.
Enjoying KTVs.
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Like Wolff, I find myself saying "a ya" and "a yo" - easy to pick up and quite expressive, I think. But I have not yet stooped so low as to drink water of any temperature. Water is for washing, in my humble opinion bjbjbjbjbj
What else in the Chinesiest category .... well, I've become a baijiu devotee even though the smell of it made me feel ill when I first arrived.
I now feel fairly relaxed about leaving uncovered food out of the fridge for several days on end.
I hold the baby over the waste bin if she looks like she needs to relieve herself.
I push and shove my way to the front of any crowd (this one took me a few years to achieve without feeling bad-mannered).
I sit outside a bar on occasion and allow myself - this one was the most difficult for me - to have my shoulders massaged by a man. He's an ugly but nice guy in his 20s, and to stop him would offend him so deeply. But yes, it took some getting used to!
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I still say 'a ya' and 'a yo' and I haven't been in China since 2009!
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The other day on the bus, someone sneezed and I didn't even say bless you.
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Cooked and eaten massive amounts of
(http://premium1.uploadit.org/Caseyorourke//silkworms.png) (http://premium1.uploadit.org/Caseyorourke//silkworms1.png)
silkworm pupae, along with multiple bottles of
(http://premium1.uploadit.org/Caseyorourke//Bing-Chuan-Beer.jpg)
Bing Chuan Beer.
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I bought an umbrella. Never bothered with one back in the UK, reckoning that if it was raining so hard that I actually needed one, it was raining too hard to be outside without waterproofs. But after the sixth student tried to gift me his brolly (not a euphemism, AFAIK), I broke down. At least now people will stop telling me that the rain from Japan will give me cancer.
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I am finding myself looking at white foreigners and assuming they're Russian and I look at people with darker skin and assume they're from Xinjiang. bibibibibi
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bkbkbkbkbk
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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Whilst walking through the streets of my boonies city I bumped into another foreigner I did not know. Shocked I found myself saying "Wow Wàiguó rén."
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Whilst walking through the streets of my boonies city I bumped into another foreigner I did not know. Shocked I found myself saying "Wow Wàiguó rén."
Yep! That feeling of "why is there a foreigner here" is kind of special. agagagagag
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There's always that revolving door policy involving foreigners. Some guys have been here longer than my 3 and a half years. Most backpackers come and go quickly. Often when the g/f and I see somebody knew while riding around, she ask me who's that.
I don't know and therefore I don't care. I'll stare for a momment then drive off trying to guess which country they're from
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then drive off trying to guess which country they're from
chinalin and I saw 2 waiguoren going up an escalator to Level 2 and played the usual game of trying to guess where their nationality. It went something like:
- not Russian because they are too well dressed
- not Australian or New Zealanders because they would have waved to us
- could be Americans but they look a bit skinny
- could be English because they are wearing socks with their sandals
- their packs look so cool and expensive they could be German
We managed to catch up with them and asked the question.
They were brothers from Hong Kong - born and bred
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then drive off trying to guess which country they're from
chinalin and I saw 2 waiguoren going up an escalator to Level 2 and played the usual game of trying to guess where their nationality. It went something like:
- not Russian because they are too well dressed
- not Australian or New Zealanders because they would have waved to us
- could be Americans but they look a bit skinny
- could be English because they are wearing socks with their sandals
- their packs look so cool and expensive they could be German
We managed to catch up with them and asked the question.
They were brothers from Hong Kong - born and bred
That's not Chinese, there was educated guessing going on, Logic at work.
However the part where you ran up to them giggling and said Hello, Where are from?
That was a Chinesey thing to do.
Where's Chinalin from? You need a Canadian with you.
xwarrior - I wonder where those foreigners are from?
Stil - Who the fuck cares? You wanna grab a beer?
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However the part where you ran up to them giggling and said Hello, Where are from?
That was a Chinesey thing to do.
... and if they smiled sweetly and said, 'I'm from China,' I would know I have been out-Chinesed.
xwarrior - I wonder where those foreigners are from?
Stil - Who the fuck cares? You wanna grab a beer?
xwarrior - Yes, mate.
Stil - They've only got Chinese beer
xwarrior - Who the fuck cares?
agagagagag
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I am finding myself looking at white foreigners and assuming they're Russian and I look at people with darker skin and assume they're from Xinjiang. bibibibibi
It's not so bad the Chinese looking at me thinking I'm Russian, but when Russians assume I'm Russian too, the conversation usually go like this.....
Russian: "можете вы сказать мне где...?" (Can you tell me where?...)
Me: "Huh?"
Russian: "можете вы сказать мне где...?" (Can you tell me where?...)
Me: "Huh?"
Russian: "вы русски?" (Are you Russian?)
Me: "NOPE."
Russian: "Американско?????" (American?????)
Me: "Yep!"
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I've had cyber sex on QQ kkkkkkkkkk
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I've had cyber sex on QQ kkkkkkkkkk
Wow, that's bad.
(I'm so glad someone else confessed to this before I did.)
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Being computer illiterate, see what I miss out on! bibibibibi I don't even know what you are talking about. Perhaps someone can update this old fart! bfbfbfbfbf
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Being computer illiterate, see what I miss out on! bibibibibi I don't even know what you are talking about. Perhaps someone can update this old fart! bfbfbfbfbf
Do you have access to any chat program? How about gmail? If so, PM me and I'll be very very happy to provide you with some private lessons. afafafafaf yyyyyyyyyy afafafafaf
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Granny, QQ is Chinese chat software, similar to MSN. But a lot better, as it also functions as kind of a social networking tool.
Er...it is also frequently used by sexually frustrated Chinese girls...which is great if you happen to live in China...but when you're in Thailand...it's bloody cruel ananananan ananananan ananananan
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Do you have access to any chat program? How about gmail?
Yeah, I do EL, but after what decurso said, I think I'd better let sleeping dogs lie. uuuuuuuuuu Don't need the "heavy artillery" battering down knocking on my door. kkkkkkkkkk When I mess up my computer, I have to wait for the Daughter In Law to come down from up north (about once a year) to fix it up. bibibibibi Don't want her knowing too much kkkkkkkkkk uuuuuuuuuu
Er...it is also frequently used by sexually frustrated Chinese girls...which is great if you happen to live in China...but when you're in Thailand...it's bloody cruel ananananan ananananan ananananan
Bloody H*ll, that does sound bloody cruel. aoaoaoaoao By the way, I presume there are heaps of frustrated Chinese guys? Oh what fun I could have uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah On second and third thoughts, perhaps I'd better give it a miss. ahahahahah
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Go with your third thoughts.
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There was an article on TV last night about this type of thing and about the "craze" among young people to send nude photos to others.(Down boys!)The repercussions can be really serious and these photos and comments can come back and bite them on the bum when they grow up and try to achieve something in their lives. Apparently, this information can never be erased once it has been sent. Thank goodness that Granny does not understand technology. kkkkkkkkkk I can just see the looks on my son's and grandsons' faces when I fall off the perch and they access my computer. aoaoaoaoao uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah
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I have searched out and been happy to find red bean ice cream, jonesed for jiaozi, and actually considered walked naked from my bedroom to the bathroom with my mother in law in the dining room and her telling me she didn't care. afafafafaf
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Did she actually see aoaoaoaoao you?
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The way I interpreted the post was that she saw him and they made sweet, sweet love ...
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No she didn't see me. aoaoaoaoao I peeked out the bedroom door to see where she was and as I was closing my wife said to just walk on through and that mama didn't care. ahahahahah
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Then when did you make the sweet, sweet love?
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I love my mother in law but eeeeeeeewwwwwwww aaaaaaaaaa
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I'm going to see the in-laws tomorrow. I will try this and let you know whether it was regarded as a Chinesy thing to do, or as western decadence. I'm somewhat wary, however, as Chinese farmers' houses are well equipped with sharp-edged implements.
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Then when did you make the sweet, sweet love?
When he returned to his wife's room bpbpbpbpbp
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Both of my wife's sisters will be here for next week. Maybe I should test out what happens if I decide to wander around the house naked. afafafafaf
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What's the pinyin for "Mock Laughter"?
LaoWai is no LongDong
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Then when did you make the sweet, sweet love?
When he returned to his wife's room bpbpbpbpbp
Not too far from the truth. afafafafaf uuuuuuuuuu
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The Chinesiest thing I've ever done was to marry a Chinese girl (in Canada). It was a mistake - she was truly 'psycho'. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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cruisemonkey, seems like I've heard stories similar to yours. Are you still married to the
psycho lady woman?
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cruisemonkey, seems like I've heard stories similar to yours. Are you still married to the psycho lady woman?
No, divorced.
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Thanks cruisemonkey and glad to hear it. bfbfbfbfbf Life's too short mate to waste it. I know I'm bgbgbgbgbg, but I am always sorry to hear about wasted lives. alalalalal Thank goodness you got out. When you meet the right person, there are NO questions because you will know, if you are being honest with yourself. bfbfbfbfbf agagagagag
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Is horking on the floor a chinese thing?
Cause if so i am pure chinesey. :lickass:
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Is horking on the floor a chinese thing?
Cause if so i am pure chinesey. :lickass:
We do that in my home town.
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When I'm out walking the neighbor's dogs, I'll spit out any phlegm. I generally have a quick look around first, as it is not considered ladylike here in the city of Brisbane, especially by an old lady. ahahahahah Paul, do you mean inside a building? aoaoaoaoao
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What about vomiting on the floor of the bar?
i have to say (with head hung low) I have more than once done that. aaaaaaaaaa
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At the risk of going off topic, the 'Koreaneasiest' thing I've ever done was Miss Park.
I've never vomited on the floor of a bar. However, on a Grade 11 (16 years old) school band trip to Williams Lake, B.C. I came close - after the better part of a 25 oz. bottle of warm, straight Lambs Navy Rum (dark) and several duaught beer (I don't know how many - it gets a little 'hazy' at this point ahahahahah), I managed to make it outside and puke in the alley. Someone threw in the back of a truck and got me back to my billet's house. Apparently, the next day the paint was pealing fom the box sides of the truck... and the 14-hour bus ride back to Victoria was 'pure joy'. bibibibibi
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What about vomiting on the floor of the bar?
i have to say (with head hung low) I have more than once done that. aaaaaaaaaa
Local chinese (fairly) fast food style joint, 3pm in the afternoon quietly enjoying my soup, man pushes chair back, throws-up on floor, stands up and gets ushered out by his gf. Cue restaurant full of bewildered people. I was impressed how free of drama the whole thing was.
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I had a wonderful meal of barbecued rabbit head.
(http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6132/5971918867_a693eb196d.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/ken_larmon/5971918867/)
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hahaha BBQ rabbit head, Last time I went to Chengdu with the ball and chain she ordered rabbits head because they said it was the local special. When it arrived she simply couldn't eat it, she said it still looked like a skull and was disgusting. I guess 8 years in the UK can make a simple Chinese girl very un Chinese.
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Ate that once when I was in Chengdu, sucked the eye out. Mmm delicious. Didn't order it again afterwards though.
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ditto on the rabbit heads... nom nom nom
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As a child, we couldn't afford much meat, so we used to go out and shoot rabbits or take the ferrets out to catch them. Whilst I've eaten heaps of rabbit, there is NO way I would eat the head. kkkkkkkkkk There was a really interesting program on TV about which animals we would eat. Naturally, because we are becoming more multicultural, the answers, from the audience, were very interesting to say the least. I kept thinking that I would have to be stranded on a desert Island to even consider eating certain creatures; to be honest, it would be easier for me to eat a human. aoaoaoaoao ahahahahah
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A Chinese friend once asked me what would happen if I was stranded on a desert island with him and my dog. I told him that my dog and I would eat well. uuuuuuuuuu
For some reason, he didn't like that answer. mmmmmmmmmm
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For some reason, he didn't like that answer. mmmmmmmmmm
I do! bfbfbfbfbf agagagagag ahahahahah