Why I love Chinese girls!

I find that many Chinese girls/women just have no ambition when it comes down to working. The big goal seems to be to either find the richest husband so they don't have to work or hope that their own husband can work very hard so he can get a promotion and make lots of money so she doesn't have to work anymore. I would say that about 70% of my friends are Chinese but I do have more male friends compared to female. I guess I find it harder to find Chinese girlfriends that I have things in common with.

I won't go so far as to say women have an equal shot at advancement, or that Chinese bosses don't play grabass with their female subordinates, ...

A Chinese woman I know, now about 60 and a mid-rank official, says even that has changed over the last few decades. When she was young. if the boss wanted to play, the girl might say no, but if he was nasty about it, she had no backing. Neither the law nor the Party would do anything to help her, even if he fired her.

Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.

Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.

Can you say BILL CLINTON? 

What makes these issues any different in China than what our countries went through decades ago? WOW, a girl trying to find a rich husband so she doesn't have to work.

Now I know they exist here too, but often I've heard uni girls claim they want to improve to the point where they don't need their looks or partners. They strive for self sufficiency. Tough row to hoe, but they're catching on

Can you say BILL CLINTON?

What makes these issues any different in China than what our countries went through decades ago? WOW, a girl trying to find a rich husband so she doesn't have to work.

On a kind of humorous level, I'd say that Bill Clinton was the frick'n president and all he got was a little action from an intern, but even the mid-level bureaucrats in China have a comparative harem at their disposal, and with no consequences.

Nowhere in America do you have prospective female employees going on a runway to "show themselves" in order to get the equivalent of a secretarial position.

Something like the whole scandal about Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill wouldn't be worthy of batting an eyelash here.

Also, I don't think that whole attempt at impeaching Clinton was about Monica Lewinsky: it was just an excuse to get him out and replace him with someone even friendlier to big business and banking and the military/industrial complex.

Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.

I agree, but this is China and there is always another angle to everything.

Two years before I arrived in this city a Party leader hit the headlines for the wrong reasons:

Concubine Culture Brings Trouble for China's Bosses
· Eleven mistresses unite to denounce corrupt cadre· Post-M** era sees revival of 'second wives' tradition

The report on the incident gives some insight to the culture surrounding power and sex in China:
 http://www.buzzle.com/articles/151676.html

Quote

Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.

I agree, but this China and there is always another angle to everything.

Two years before I arrived in this city a Party leader hit the headlines for the wrong reasons:

Quote

Concubine Culture Brings Trouble for China's Bosses
· Eleven mistresses unite to denounce corrupt cadre· Post-M** era sees revival of 'second wives' tradition

The report on the incident gives some insight to the culture surrounding power and sex in China:
 http://www.buzzle.com/articles/151676.html

Yikes. Here's an excerpt from that article:

Mr Pang, 63, was the Communist party chief of Baoji city. His position gave him the power to decide the fate of his subordinates and the awarding of local development contracts.

According to the People's Daily, he persuaded many of the most attractive and young wives of his employees to become his mistresses in return for "big money projects" for their husbands.

Local media said Mr Pang earned the nickname "mayor zipper" in Baoji and city officials had a saying among themselves: "No sacrifice [of one's wife], no gain."

In one case, Mr Pang's wife and mistresses worked together on a water-diversion project that collapsed less than a year after the construction was finished, the paper said.

His fate was sealed when several of his mistresses' husbands were sentenced to death for bribery. The wives joined forces to denounce Pang, who would otherwise probably have escaped censure because of his political connections.

Bill Clinton isn't in the competition. That's grim stuff.

Hey peeps,

So my slightly late tongue in cheek un-informed opinion is that...

Most of the expat men/boys I have met (read that as MOST not ALL) wouldn't stand a chance with the expat women/girls here!

I'm not going to toot my own horn (to much), but I am a stereotypically attractive girl - all the Chinese boys.. AND girls tell me so  and I know that these guys would not be hooking up with the gorgeous girls that they do here, back in their home environment - the girls just wouldn't have them or their often outdated and racist ideals!

Ignoring the age difference, the oft sighted bulging bellies, generally less than fantastic drinking, eating and hygiene habits - and focusing more on 'who' these guys are ... they still wouldn't stand a chance.

There are some people here that enjoy not having to look after themselves at all -
"Hey dude, where's the mop, I just knocked a drink over"
"Oh I don't know, I haven't mopped since I got here"
(He's been here for 5 years and no, he doesn't have a cleaner!)

"Oh I didn't know you had a new gf, what happened to Summer?"
"Oh, you know its all about the chase, Chinese girls get boring really quickly you know - they're just a convenience"

"Can you speak Chinese?"
"Nah, no need - that's why I've got a sleeping dictionary"

"Learn how to drive you idiot! Chinese people - they don't know anything, I hate this country"
"Then maybe you should... you know, go somewhere else (like home)"
"Home has gone to the dogs, I'd never go back to that stinking place"

This is not mentioning the attractive guys who take full advantage of this and date several girls at once (not technically anything wrong with this), but sleeping with them all and not being honest... well.

I'm not a feminist brandishing a burning bra, and do love it when a guy opens doors for me etc but it feels like the foreign men here have a tendency to forget about women's rights back home. Rights that their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunties etc fought for. Apparently it's getting lost in translation. I understand its a different culture... but where is the respect for women as a whole?

There are men here who have married local girls, and given it their all - learning to speak the language fluently, studying the culture, committing to both time in China and in their home countries etc. They are the men here, the rest are boys, playing at a mens game.

Please don't hate me 

What makes these issues any different in China than what our countries went through decades ago? WOW, a girl trying to find a rich husband so she doesn't have to work.

Now I know they exist here too, but often I've heard uni girls claim they want to improve to the point where they don't need their looks or partners. They strive for self sufficiency. Tough row to hoe, but they're catching on

Oh I hope that quote thing just worked. My students say that there is a saying in Chinese... If a girl isn't pretty, she better study.

My mumma always said: "Do not rely on prettiness to get you anywhere - that will only take you to low end places, you need brains. Pretty gets you in the door, brains gets to the top floor"

I shared this with my students. They just told me I should marry a rich man, and that working will make me look older sooner.

Bless their hearts!

"Can you speak Chinese?"
"Nah, no need - that's why I've got a sleeping dictionary"

Sometimes I'm suspicious that my wife married me to get an English dictionary.

I'm not a feminist brandishing a burning bra,

Ummmm.... am I a bad man if I find that image to be a turn on.

and do love it when a guy opens doors for me etc but it feels like the foreign men here have a tendency to forget about women's rights back home. Rights that their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunties etc fought for. Apparently it's getting lost in translation. I understand its a different culture... but where is the respect for women as a whole?

I'll admit there are some major sleazebags who perfectly fit your description, but I like to think of myself as guy who adores females.  I just happen to find those of Chinese extraction even more adorable.  Other guys (including many Chinese ones) prefer blondes or redheads.

There are men here who have married local girls, and given it their all - learning to speak the language fluently, studying the culture, committing to both time in China and in their home countries etc. They are the men here, the rest are boys, playing at a mens game.

If I could get my lovely local wife to stop turning every English sentence she encounters into a grammar, spelling, and pronunciation lesson, I might have a chance to learn a bit more Mandarin.

Oddly enough, I'm almost always the only one in the family who ever wears traditional clothing for the holidays and special occasions.  I had quite a time getting my darling to agree to a red wedding dress. 

Please don't hate me 

Luv ya!

Thank you for not tearing me to shreds. 

I'm interested from a laowai nu ren's perspective to hear views on this.

I (and the other ladies here) have noticed that once a guy gets a girlfriend here it is no longer ok for us to 'hang out'. What's more the guys seem to comply so easily.

I understand from a girls perspective that you definitely don't want your guy hanging around with another girl, but when there is a pre-existing friendship and if any moves were going to be made they would have, it seems silly to put a stop to this friendship.

Having approached a few of the males who have fallen into this practice - the response seems to be "I don't want to upset my girlfriend". Which is understandable, stupid, and frustrating!

I'm aware that there is a cultural aspect to this.... however, I wish the guys here would continue to be brothers in arms, instead of encouraging this unhealthy practice.

Dare I start the debate that men and women can be friends 

Sorry, I realise I am ranting and venting. It's ok, because I'm going on holidays soon and we all know that a nice rest fixes everything (mwa haha)

I've met my Chinese wife for the first time in real life in China on June 22rd (coincidently my parents 49th wedding anniversery), June 23rd (my 48th birthday) we went to see the Great Wall and on June 24th we were married.  After a long wait for her visa, we were reunited in Texas December 20th, 2005.  I can say without a doubt she is the smartest woman I know. She can speak three languages, (Chinese English and Russian), she is a financial whiz and she is the sexiest woman I have ever known.  Unlike my previous marriages that were pretty much over after five years, I am as much in love with her as the day we met and she is still my #1 hottie.

Having approached a few of the males...

Are you finding the local competition a little stiff?

Thank you for not tearing me to shreds. 

I'm interested from a laowai nu ren's perspective to hear views on this.

I (and the other ladies here) have noticed that once a guy gets a girlfriend here it is no longer ok for us to 'hang out'. What's more the guys seem to comply so easily.

I understand from a girls perspective that you definitely don't want your guy hanging around with another girl, but when there is a pre-existing friendship and if any moves were going to be made they would have, it seems silly to put a stop to this friendship.

Having approached a few of the males who have fallen into this practice - the response seems to be "I don't want to upset my girlfriend". Which is understandable, stupid, and frustrating!

I'm aware that there is a cultural aspect to this.... however, I wish the guys here would continue to be brothers in arms, instead of encouraging this unhealthy practice.

Dare I start the debate that men and women can be friends 

Sorry, I realise I am ranting and venting. It's ok, because I'm going on holidays soon and we all know that a nice rest fixes everything (mwa haha)

mkate, I had an experience like this before I was married. I had a really close guy friend -- we'd came over to China on the same Study Abroad program (SIT ftw, by the way) and both returned to Kunming about a year later and we pretty much did everything together, although our friendship was always platonic. I actually introduced him to his girlfriend, and for quite awhile we had a nice little crew going -- she had a guy cousin we would hang out with a lot too -- and then suddenly his girlfriend got inexplicably jealous of me. This was around the time when my friend, who is a rapper (don't laugh!) and I got a dancing monkey gig in Dali and went away together to do a set of shows for 4 nights. I was backup vocals, naturally. Again, it was all platonic and my friend and I were pretty broke and needed the money but the girlfriend got very weird about the whole thing. I had to remind her that I had been the one to set her up with her boyfriend in the first place and I had never uttered one bad word about her to my friend, despite the fact that their relationship had become fairly toxic. And my friend, to his credit, would have none of it. He thought his girlfriend was being ridiculous, especially given our history together, all of us.

Anyhow, they broke up not that much later and I think her jealousy was in part because she knew the relationship was deteriorating and she was at that stage where she was picking fights with him almost constantly trying to get him to "prove" he loved her. Most women (and men too I guess), I think, who are secure in their relationships are not bugged by opposite sex friendships so much. There's nothing like insecurity to bring on jealousy.

I think that Chinese girls -- well, guys too -- in general are less tolerant of opposite sex friendships but also, think of it from their perspective. You're cute, you're young, you come from a similar background as the guy, you speak the same language as the guy, so they probably do feel threatened in a way. I also think that there are plenty of Westerners who are not that keen on their partner hanging out with certain people. Most of us try not to be possesive jealous headcases -- that's not really socially acceptable in modern progressive society -- so we try and reign in our jealous impulses but they're still there aren't they?

It sucks that you're losing some of your buddies but hopefully their girlfriends will settle down at some point. The relationships might be short lived anyhow!

Happily, my wife doesn't get too violent jealous when I mention that most of my best friends are incredibly hot looking girls.

This thread was fascinating reading. Thanks.