in my case, I am definitely getting older. Oh, I am still 19, as I have been for half a century now, but it's getting harder to prove. And this spring (in a few weeks, actually) I'm moving to Canada. Settling my family down, getting the youngest into school, and learning to breathe clean Canadian air. I hope it doesn't hurt my lungs too much. The next time I come to China, it won't be for work. Fuggedabowdit. I'm due some foreign tourist time next time.
And so, as much as I value the friendships and everything I have gotten from the saloon, there just isn't that much that I have left to give. Or anticipate having to give in the future. I will still lurk like a villain in the shadows, because over the years this has been a special place for me. But I'm certainly not in the vanguard any more.