Raoul's China Saloon (V5.0) Beta
The Bar Room => The Champagne Cabana => Topic started by: Escaped Lunatic on March 11, 2011, 10:33:08 PM
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Ben Dan and I were getting the UFO Thread (http://raoulschinasaloon.com/index.php?topic=725.0) farther and farther off the rails. Plus, I thought the incredible beauty of Chinese girls was a topic that deserves its own thread.
First let me bring you up to speed in the existing conversation:
I had suggested a few reasons for alien visitations. Along with checking us out as a potential food source for the future, I offered, Or, they're all just like me. Here to check out the amazingly hot Chinese girls. akakakakak
Ben Dan replied, I find most of them average looking, and as regards appearances indistinguishable from the ones I knew in the West.
Naturally, I was deeply shocked and accused him of being some sort of alien robot (seems like an obvious explanation to me ahahahahah).
Ben Dan responded:
I get your humor, but, when I think of a robot I think "unconscious" or an "automaton." I see why Western guys go around saying the Chinese girls are super hot. But it's not the girls themselves, but rather the context in which the girls are perceived. A man living in New York wanted to meet a Chinese girl. He looked online to meet one from China. Having lived in NY myself I wondered why he didn't just go outside, because there are oodles of Chinese girls in NY. So it's curious, isn't it, that Western men back home often don't find the local Chinese girls there hot, even though they are, as I said, virtually indistinguishable from the ones here? The difference is in the context, and that context is availability and receptivity. The Western counterparts – young Chinese women – wouldn't give most of us expats a second glance.
So what is "hot" is not the girls themselves – if one were terribly honest with oneself one might actually prefer young white women if one could have them – but the "patriarchy which makes them available to people who they wouldn't normally be available to in a more equal society."
I've had Asian girlfriends in Asia and in America, and for me they are the same. I also find Asian girls quite attractive and cute, but so are all reasonably fit, reasonably good-looking young women. I think if Western men could magically choose whatever girl they wanted, regardless of "race" or social class, miraculously the preference for less-privileged Asian girls living in the developing world would disappear and they might find themselves picking white girls…
But, nobody really wants to face not being able to have what they really want, so better to convince oneself of something else. I convince myself that Chinese food is my favorite food, but if I had access and money to eat at any restaurant, hot pot might become a lot less frequent.
wtf
And I replied, Unlike some of the guys looking to marry some sweet little thing half their age, my very hot Chinese fiancee is the oldest of my very dear Chinese female friends and is nearly my own age.
For me, Chinese girls have been hot since the time I was old enough to notice girls. A Chinese accent only adds to the already extreme beauty that was already there. One time at English corner I was asked which country had the prettiest girls. I told them China. A few claimed that I'd have said Japan if I was in Japan or Thailand if I was in Thailand. I won the argument by pointing out that I could have gone to either of those countries to teach English, but didn't even bother to look for jobs anywhere else - since Chinese girls were the prettiest.
Thus, I'll stick to my theory that aliens could be here to study hot Chinese girls. They are sometimes sighted in other countries, since there are also hot girls elsewhere in different colors, shapes, and sizes. However, since Chinese girls are the hottest of all and China has more of them than anywhere else, I think there should be more UFO sightings here.
And Ben Dan replied:
think we've gone well off topic barely paying lip service to Aliens and UFOs, but maybe no one will notice.
In your case it sounds like you are a genuine connoisseur of the female Chinese physiognomy (or at least believe you are). Age difference isn't such a big issue here, but it is somewhat admirable to see someone marry or date someone close to their own age. I'm not THAT old, but it's almost impossible for me to meet anyone near my age that is single in my 3rd tier city. I haven't met even one.
I will boldly say that in my case, while I definitely have an eye for Asian girls, I also think it's because I live here and all the other things related to that. I'm quite sure if I lived in South America or the Middle East my preferences would change accordingly.
Honestly, did you come to China BECAUSE of the "hot girls," or is that just some hyperbole?
What is it that makes the Chinese girls so hot, I wonder? For me, their figures are a bit like a lollipop = round head and thin body without much in the way of curves. Vietnamese women struck me as the most attractive, and some other men who'd worked in China offered the same unsolicited opinion. I also thought the Chinese girls in the south – considered by many in the center to be ugly – were quite beautiful, and even the fruit sellers might stop me in my tracks. My guess is the mix between Chinese and SE Asian.
I have a friend who has a distinct preference for Korean girls, so I guess it's quite possible, all other things equal, to still hanker after Chinese girls. Many are conspicuously slight in the derriere for my particular tastes, so I'm probably in the wrong country, at least from that perspective. But I didn't come here for the hot girls so it probably doesn't matter.
I recall seeing a movie made in Iraq or thereabouts, and the women in it (probably actresses, so not a true representation) were consistently so beautiful that if I wanted to go where the beautiful women were I might need to enlist.
Enjoy your ladies. [Note that I am very, very slowly learning to appreciate less is more of the derriere, but will revert the second I see a more conventionally proportioned one in my own eyes]
That gets everyone up to speed. And now, to continue my eternal love story with Chinese girls. . . .
Ben Dan, finding a never married Chinese girl past her 20's is rare. I'm quite happy with my formerly married fiancee (change that to wife in 3 weeks) and am made even more happy since she comes equipped with a 12 year old daughter, who is even more beautiful. Keep looking. Even in your 3rd tier city, there are bound to be some very nice divorcees and widows.
So, how did I develop this complete and utter devotion to Chinese females above all the other pretty girls on the planet? It's a long (and sadly, not sordid llllllllll) story.
I've admired girls of the Orient since I was a child. When I was 7, my parents "sponsored" a Korean guy who came over to go to college. Not financially sponsored (his father was RICH!), but more of a "helping him out with all the paperwork and other issues. Because of this, I got an early start learning to use chopsticks (a useful survival skill in China, both to avoid starvation and embarrassment). He became my "oldest brother." After a couple of years, his family arranged a marriage for him to a very beautiful Korean girl.
I can still remember the first time I saw her. I was only 9 or 10. That face. That hair. Those eyes. She was my first and only childhood crush. ajajajajaj
(But what about Chinese girls? Hang on, I'm getting to that.)
After they were married, I got to spend quite a bit of time at their house. She played the piano incredibly well (she was getting a Masters degree in Piano). His cooking was great. Her cooking was nothing short of amazing. For someone who grew up on hamburgers, hot dogs, and pizza, it was an epiphany, and only further deepened my crush on her. ajajajajaj
Sadly, they eventually went back to Korea and I've only seen them a couple of times since. Even though she's a grandmother now, she's still beautiful.
Shortly before they left, South Vietnam became Southern Vietnam (I'm giving away too much about my advanced age). My family's church sponsored some refugees. I got to meet one of the families, and there was a girl about my own age. Although I knew some pretty girls who were while, black, and brown, this was the first girl of the Orient of my own age that I had ever met. I only saw her a few times, but she was amazing to behold.
I middle school, there was one (and only one ananananan) Japanese girl. She wasn't the prettiest, but was still super cute (even cuter when I bumped into her one time while at university).
After living in redneck central for most of my childhood, I finally did finally get to experience a more internationalized environment at University. I never managed to hook up with any of those amazing oriental girls, but always found them so incredibly attractive. Thinking back, I was so afraid of being rejected by one that I never dared to approach any of them. Instead, I mostly dated inside my own ethnic group, with only a limited number of dates outside the whitebread category.
After getting married to a wonderful girl (who is still wonderful, but we just weren't meant to spend our lives together - she's still a good friend), I was working in a lab on campus and was doing paperwork for expat post-doctoral researchers (yes, part of my job was being an FAO). After the guys from India and the USSR (another clue about my age), a wonderful woman from China. She was almost 20 years older than I was, but was still utterly captivating. She was from Liaoning, and had one of those perfect, flat northern Chinese faces. ajajajajaj
Despite severe language difficulties, she became very good friends with me and my wife. One of her roommates had a part time job at a Chinese restaurant that made perfect wonton soup (other than admiring Chinese girls, I'm also here to look for soup like that - I've searched the USA and Europe and haven't found it). When she left, we took her to the airport. Just before she got on the plane, she suddenly kissed me, the walked through the boarding entrance before I could react.
It was just a very quick kiss, but it was such a surprise, and such a delight. akakakakak
Later, I was working and taking classes in Public Health at the university. There were more foreign students than American ones. I used to tell people that it was like working at the UN. If we'd only allowed penguins to enroll, I'd have had friends from all 7 continents. I got to admire (and occasionally flirt with) beautiful girls from all over, but the ones from East Asia still stood out, and there was this one Chinese girl . . . .
Have you ever seen one of those porcelain or ivory statues of an impossibly tall and thin Chinese girl? This girl was one of those brought to life. Her face would have made Aphrodite's heart explode in a jealous rage. She was at least 6 feet tall and her hair was at least 5 feet long. I think she was a med student only take one or two classes at Public Health, since I didn't see her often. All the times I saw her she was either standing still or sitting, except once . . .
I was in the computer lab with a coworker beating one of the balky PC's back into being cooperative. I was in mid-sentence when that Chinese girl walked by. Her hair flowed behind her like an ebony flag as she moved. I've never seen anything like it before or since. I couldn't continue what I was saying, I couldn't move, I'm not even sure if my heart was still beating. I just stared in rapt fascination as something more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined moved across my field of view. ajajajajaj ajajajajaj ajajajajaj
Even though Chinese girls were more and more becoming the center of beauty and grace in my universe, I didn't ignore girls from elsewhere. I was at a party in Arizona with a lovely Japanese girl. Even more beautiful than her face was her laugh. If anyone could ever have been said to have a laugh that sounded like the music made by silver bells, it was her. I'd managed to collect kisses from girls from many countries by then, but none from Japan. With the encouragement of someone even more drunk than I was, I went up, told her that I'd finally learned that it was better to try and fail than to forever regret not asking, explained how I deeply admired all girls from the Orient, explained how I'd never had the privilege of kissing a girl from Japan, and asked for a kiss. She kindly agreed. ajajajajaj
I upgraded my satellite dish. While checking out the new channels, I found a show called "Culture Express" on some station that I guessed must be called something like Culture Channel TV, since the initials were CCTV. Then I saw Da Shan and realized that maybe it wasn't 100% cultural. ahahahahah
Still, CCTV had some special wonders. Centre Stage, then hosted by the incredibly beautiful Helen Feng ajajajajaj, showed me even more of Chinese music. The first time I heard Miao singing, all I could think was "no human voices could possibly be that beautiful."
Florida used to have a copy of something that's only found in Shenzhen. A theme park called Splendid China. If you haven't been to the one in SZ, check it out. The main section (common to both parks) is miniatures of many of the architectural wonders of China. The one in SZ has two advantages over the one in Florida. It has an ethnic village area, and it didn't go out of business.
I loved the park in Florida. Somehow, I always felt at peace there. Plus, the Chinese girls in the shows were spectacular, and there were plenty of other Chinese people who seemed to like attending to get a little taste of home. When it failed, I managed to get to the auctions. My perfect daughter looks like she's going to fit the Peacock Girl dress I snagged. I've also got a pile of other intriguing outfits, an assortment of Terra Cotta warriors, some bits and pieces from Florida's Great Wall, plus quite a few other odds and ends. Sadly, I couldn't get the house from the Water Village into my cargo container when I moved, so it's still sitting in Florida.
It was when I was at those auctions that someone suggested I should try teaching English in China.
Despite being scared witless on that first flight to Hong Kong, the number of pretty Chinese girls was reassuring. During my first few classes teaching here, I considered myself lucky to managed to complete sentences without loosing my ability to speak every time one of the girls smiled at me.
Yes, there are many beautiful girls from many places, but Chinese ones have secured an unbreakable place in the center of my heart. With other girls, I'm prefer more of a Marilyn Monroe shape to a Twiggy. With Chinese girls, the face, hair, and eyes captivate me. The curves are still there, but are just more subtle. I do remember wondering why all my students had the same standard B cup sized breasts - until I saw a rack of padded bras that matched them all perfectly. ahahahahah The good news is that despite the significant size difference, field tests show that Chinese ones seem to be much more sensitive to stimulation than western ones. afafafafaf
Lust and beauty can be with only the eyes, but love comes from the heart. Getting to know Chinese girls exceeded any expectations I'd made from looking at them. The kindness and friendships I was privileged to experience on my first trip to China captivated me even more than the beauty. I'm still very close friends with some of the girls I met during my first weeks in China.
Over time, I developed a close group of female friends who I consider to be my personal Chinese angels (they are all too intriguing to be classified as mere humans). All of them are amazing and wonderful girls and I treasure each moment spent with them. But I am not just a lucky guy who has his own personal group of Celestial Daughters to hang out with. I am the world's luckiest guy. . .
One of my former students arranged my birthday party one year. There was this new girl from her hometown who seemed a little . . . bossy at first. We had a short KTV party before the dinner and she and I sang together and flirted (nothing unusual there - I think I've flirted with about 10,000 Chinese beauties by now). It rained heavily starting about an hour before the party, so some people (including a few of my angels) didn't make it to the party. I ended up sitting next to the new girl.
One of my male friends decided to discuss the economy, but wanted to do it in Chinese. I was annoyed. Everyone at the party spoke English, plus part of my day job involves writing about world economics. He said it would take 10 minutes. After 15 minutes I got REALLY bored and started trying to play with the new girl's hair. I LOVE Chinese girl's hair, and usually get swatted when I try to play with it. This time I didn't get swatted. By the end of the party, I had her phone number. There was something about her. She reminded me of my other angels, but there was more to it than that.
I made it a point to get to know her better and she captivated me and I felt more and more like she was the one I wanted to spend my life with. It turns out that she had the most amazingly beautiful daughter who changed my whole viewpoint about having children. I wanted that girl to be my daughter too.
So, here I am. I live in China now. Every where I go, there are beautiful Chinese girls from every province. I have girls who are angels as my closest friends. I'm about to marry my own personal Chinese goddess. We have the world's most beautiful girl as our daughter.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world and I love Chinese girls. akakakakak agagagagag akakakakak
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EL, that was very interesting and informative. bfbfbfbfbf From a female perspective, what initially attracted/attracts me to a guy was his smile and his eyes. The MOST important thing for me however is that he and I need to be on the same level intellectually. The relationship/friendship could go NO further without that connection. I don't care if he was really handsome or had a magnificent physique, by women's standards,that was/is not important to me. I may be called "racist" but Cultural differences are also something which can cause problems from my perspective. Your lady and her daughter sound as if they belong in your life and I truly wish you all the happiness in the world. agagagagag akakakakak
Ben Dan, I admire your courage and your honesty. bfbfbfbfbf Many of the points that you raised, have been spot on in many of the cases I have observed here in the land of Oz. I do understand that men and women often think very differently about matters such as this.
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Granny: Thanks for the compliment! Hardly brave, though, and probably just something like 78% honest because there's probably always stuff I don't really want to face.
EL: Wow, that was an epochal post. It's interesting and will stick with me, subtly coloring my experience of living in China. Now I remember your funny post about falling in love with the 12 years old and getting married to her mother. [By the way, thanks for not being offended by my examination of the phenomenon of Western guys thinking Chinese girls are so hot. One of my best friends out here always says similar things].
So it seems you like Asian girls, and Chinese girls in particular. I believe you! I'm a bit impressed you've maintained such a thoroughly romantic view of women.
I want to now address why I don't think Chinese girls are super hot(which, has little to do with your very different experience, so there's nothing about who's right or wrong, just difference angles)
WHY CHINESE GIRLS AREN'T SUPER HOT
I teach university students, and because most English majors are female, most my students are young women, or "girls". Consequently, I'm exposed to quite a large number of these ladies, and I've known some for over a year, and I have the occasional conversations and so on.
One of the things that's struck me is that the ones who are the prettiest on the first day are not necessarily so later on when I've had a chance to know their personalities. As Granny said, at least for me in regards to students, a big smile and a sparkle in the eye are the most appealing things about my students. What makes the most beautiful ones in the end is how they are animated rather than just the surface beauty. I don't fancy my students (I seem to have turned off the "turn on" switch), but if I were pressed to choose one, hypothetically, it probably wouldn't be the prettiest one.
Less philosophically, after living in China for a number of years I can safely say most my students are average looking. Most come to class as they are: not dolled up or wearing the ubiquitous high heels and leggings (whereas young ladies I see on the street very frequently seem to have gotten their style ideas from prostitutes). "Hot" for me means "sexy," and it'd be a bit of a stretch for me to call most of my students "sexy." There are maybe a few here and there. When I sent home some pictures of me and groups of my students nobody wrote back to say how beautiful, cute, hot or sexy they were.
I also know my students quite well, and having had Asian girlfriends in the West and in Asia, I'm virtually unable to "objectify" them in the way some men might. This was particularly evident when I lived for a while in Thailand. I couldn't see Thai girls the way other men did, as cute, stupid, disposable animals who they couldn't actually relate to, and felt no compunctions about using for an evening and rotating out the next.
So, because of my job, I know quite a lot of young Chinese ladies, and I think they're great. They're fine to look at, and I'd feel hurt or saddened if anyone said any of them were plain or ugly. But, honestly, they're not, as a group, hot. Dandruff is quite common, as are teeth problems of various kinds, and some skin troubles. Most of them wear glasses. Again, they're nice, they're fine, but "hot"? [I do confess that the Thai students that had to wear tight uniforms might have been a bit more distracting.]
Excuse me for being redundant, I've got a rather unpleasant hangover, and it's mucking with my ability to be concise. Some Chinese girls are hot, a few super hot, but most are ordinary IME (in my eyes)
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There's a lot to like about Chinese women. I am happily married to one (yikes, I almost forgot 'happily'). As far as comparing to other nationalities is concerned, I have decided, after extensive research, that females everywhere have a great deal in common.
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I have decided, after extensive research, that females everywhere have a great deal in common.
I guess one could say the same about males. bfbfbfbfbf I wonder what other Saloonies think about this or am I opening Pandora's box? ahahahahah
Ben-Dan, again thanks for expressing your views so openly and honestly. I like to observe people and I have noticed that their actions often speak louder than their words. There is often "stuff" that most of us don't really want to face,but I admire those who face the truth and who have the courage to do so. I understand that it is nice to try to live in fairyland. akakakakak
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In 1979 in a very white neighbourhood, I started dating a West Indian girl. The first woman of colour? Nope. 21 years later, we divorced but I wouldn't call it a failure and we're still friends. After her came a Nigerian, a Russian Jew and a few others. Now I've been with a Chinese girl for the last three years. Often the g/f asks me how I feel about dating an oriental. I usually don't even thing about that part, never did. Not even with friends and clients from anywhere.
Do I like Chinese girls? Oh hell yes, they are fricken hot! just like West Indian girls, Nigerians, Russian Jews and many others. What did they have in common other that they had enough taste in being with me? They were good, strong and intelligent people. And yes, the sex was great. That's a part of the relationship, not the reason
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the sex was great. That's a part of the relationship, not the reason
Thanks Day Dreamer that was very interesting. bfbfbfbfbf May I ask another question and get your response and others also? If the sex was not "great" but you persevered for a while, would the goodness,strength and intelligence be enough to outweigh the not too great sex?
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For me I guess I have to agree with ben-dan, I don't find Chinese girls in any way more appealing than any other kind of women.
I am married to a Chinese woman but only because she is the one for me, it has nothing to do with her ethnicity at all.
Frankly some Chinese girls are blindingly hot!! But then again I can find examples of very attractive women in any country or culture.
In my opinion if you look simply at the number of Chinese you see in the streets every day then I would say most are plain or ugly in all fairness. The thing I like most about Chinese girls is their spirit.
Most Chinese girls are friendly and a joy to be around, probably not as stimulating as some western girls (if I spoke fluent Chinese this would probably be remedied most likely)
On the other hand my male Chinese friends just wish that when it came down to it that Chinese girls were not so materialistic, I've seen this time and time again.
Strangely enough over the last few years I haven't found western women attractive at all, this I think is purely due to the close proximity of so many Asian girls.
Frankly I don't like most western women's attitude, especially here in China the western
"swagger" I find to be very unattractive. I've had some great and close female friends from Canada and Aus but none whom I've found to be attractive in the slightest.
I actually stopped dating for a while in Australia (about 2 years) because I found most young women's attitudes to be less than desirable. I was raised by my mother and taught to respect women, hold doors open for them and be polite and offer help when it was convenient etc Now that is seen as sexist and out dated and I actually had many occasions when young women would get angry or tell me off for being polite, as if I was trying to oppress them.
On the other hand the same women would complain that chivalry is dead and no men know how to treat a woman any more!
I'm considered an attractive guy (me mum said so ahahahahah) and I've never had any problems getting a girl that I wanted (in Australia or any other country) but I just felt worn out of dating girls in Australia, most of the girls that had potential for good partners (not one time shags) were already taken and just became good friends.
For me it's not about looks it's about attitude.
Oh and granny may, yes the sex is not the most important thing. Every sex life gets stale after a while, that's why I like to go on holiday haha helps to spice it up a little. But the companionship and the quality time you spend with your partner is important.
That being said if there is no sex at all or it is terrible then that is probably a good indication that the two of you are no longer compatible on a physical level and have become room mates or friends instead of lovers.
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So it seems you like Asian girls, and Chinese girls in particular. I believe you! I'm a bit impressed you've maintained such a thoroughly romantic view of women.
To live a romantic and adventurous life, one needs to approach things with a romantic and adventurous attitude. ababababab
One of the things that's struck me is that the ones who are the prettiest on the first day are not necessarily so later on when I've had a chance to know their personalities. As Granny said, at least for me in regards to students, a big smile and a sparkle in the eye are the most appealing things about my students. What makes the most beautiful ones in the end is how they are animated rather than just the surface beauty. I don't fancy my students (I seem to have turned off the "turn on" switch), but if I were pressed to choose one, hypothetically, it probably wouldn't be the prettiest one.
This part I can agree with. Chinese or not, a sparkling personality makes a girl more attractive. An unattractive personality will diminish how she looks.
Less philosophically, after living in China for a number of years I can safely say most my students are average looking. Most come to class as they are: not dolled up or wearing the ubiquitous high heels and leggings (whereas young ladies I see on the street very frequently seem to have gotten their style ideas from prostitutes). "Hot" for me means "sexy," and it'd be a bit of a stretch for me to call most of my students "sexy."
Hooker garb can be hot in it's own way, but I find a girl's natural features untarnished by makeup to be the best view. For me, a Chinese girl heading out for a day of planting rice is hot and sexy.
There are maybe a few here and there. When I sent home some pictures of me and groups of my students nobody wrote back to say how beautiful, cute, hot or sexy they were.
Philistines!!! asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas
I also know my students quite well, and having had Asian girlfriends in the West and in Asia, I'm virtually unable to "objectify" them in the way some men might. This was particularly evident when I lived for a while in Thailand. I couldn't see Thai girls the way other men did, as cute, stupid, disposable animals who they couldn't actually relate to, and felt no compunctions about using for an evening and rotating out the next.
Those sad bastards should try viewing them as cute, intelligent, and utterly essential.
So, because of my job, I know quite a lot of young Chinese ladies, and I think they're great. They're fine to look at, and I'd feel hurt or saddened if anyone said any of them were plain or ugly. But, honestly, they're not, as a group, hot. Dandruff is quite common, as are teeth problems of various kinds, and some skin troubles. Most of them wear glasses. Again, they're nice, they're fine, but "hot"?
Not all are flawless, but the typical Chinese girl still possesses both an inner and outer beauty that rocks my world every time I walk past one on the street.
[I do confess that the Thai students that had to wear tight uniforms might have been a bit more distracting.]
Let's face it. Whoever first came up with the basic design for Asian school girl uniforms was the world's greatest pervert. afafafafaf
The thing I like most about Chinese girls is their spirit.
I'll agree 100% here. For me, the inner beauty of a Chinese girl can be even better than the outer beauty. akakakakak
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I'm a big fan of outer beauty, and Chinese girls have it in abundance. They also have awesome personalities for the most part. White girls are all attitude generally and it bugs me (no offence white girls, I still love you) Wheras Chinese girls are more laid back, but still have fight in them, which I need in order to not get bored. Totally subserviant girls annoy me more than girls with too much attitude.
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Totally subserviant girls annoy me more than girls with too much attitude.
Chinese girls only pretend to be subservient to lull you into a false sense of complacency. cbcbcbcbcb
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EL...this is a delightfully tongue-in-cheek thread that made my morning (or afternoon, as I didn't really wake up until 2:30 PM).
I never had a Chinese "girlfriend" per se, but I did date a lot of Chinese girls (which in some respects is better) and I adored most of them. I'm not talking about looks, either...they were just really cool chicks. Yeah, a lot of them were 15-16 yeaers yonger than me, but I did date a few within my own age group. I dated millionaires, university students, manic depressive, suicidal psychopaths...and loved every minute of it. Perhaps there is something about cross cultural dating that makes the whole experience much more intense. Afterall, as I laid naked next to a 24 year old Chinese girl who was sobbing and talking about how she wanted to kill herself....I was acutely aware that this kind of thing was not a part of the life plan I had a few years back.
Now I am no longer in China, and I do find myself missing Chinese girls a great deal. There is one I talk to on MSN all the time, and another (whom I dated for 6 months before she moved to Shenzhen) on QQ. If I had to come up with any reason at all to return to China, it would be one of these girls.
Currently I live in Thailand, and in my experience Thai girls are just not the same. Most of them, anyway. They have a great sense of fun, but most of them are sadly lacking in depth. You can't stay up talking all night to most Thai girls...it's just endless, non-stop meaningless sex. And hpw terrible is that, really? I came to form the following opinion....Thai girls for lovers (for I have to say that if bed sports were an Olympic event, the Thai womens team would take gold every year), but Chinese girls for girlfriends.
Now I have a Thai girlfriend and she has totally killed my theory. She's amazing, actually. So what have I learned from her? You can generalize about girls based on natioality, race, ect, and if you know what you are talking about, you'll be right most of the time. So it's OK to make broad, sweeping generalizations. BUT...just remember each person is different, so don't smell too much of whatever you're shovelling. At the end of the day, we're all just people.
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About a couple of the latest posts
It's good to see more woman's perspectives. I was a member of the ajarn (Thai for "Teacher") forum about 5 or so years ago, and at the time it was so overrun with outspoken expat men that there were no visible, participating women or Thais on the forum. The racism and sexism could also be cut with a chain saw.
It is a bit odd when Western men criticize Western women, particularly from their own country. It basically says, "If I were a woman I'd dislike myself, or at least not think I was desirable."
About the Thai girls. Hopefully all that stuff about most of them being sex Olympiads and lacking depth was more tongue-in-cheek humor… I've lived in Thailand and had two Thai girlfriends; also could speak and read and write the language. The Thais I knew didn't lack depth and weren't any more obsessed about sex than anyone else [though some of the expats I ran across in Thailand seemed to fit that description]. To characterize them as lacking substance and being sex machines unfortunately adds to the worst stereotypes of them. Sometimes expats visiting Thailand are primarily exposed to girls they meet in bars or on Kao San road, in Pattaya or Patpong or other heavily touristed places. These girls are often not your average girls, hence the skills and lack of education.
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Maybe I can clear something up. If you're ever wondering how to treat a woman, just treat her like a human being. Whether she's American or Chinese or Thai or... you get the picture?
But it's so much nicer to treat her like an angel. akakakakak
It's just highly unlikely that there can be a greater concentration of beauty in the human population of one particular area. Certain individuals might find particular characteristics attractive, granted, but if we could do some sort of survey in which all of the people in the world got to look at all of the other people in the world (not just the ones we can see by virtue of being in the same country) and rate their attractiveness then it's probable that the ratio of attractive to unattractive people in any given country would be the same.
"Highly unlikely" isn't always equal to impossible. Part of the joy of being a self-proclaimed Lunatic is that I can readily ignore public opinion polls and also get to live in my own specially customized version of reality. Like the great Adam Savage said, "I reject your reality and substitute my own." ahahahahah
As wonderful (and hot!) as I have found girls from all over the world to be (white black, yellow, red, brown, and any other shade - including one very hot girl who spent a couple of months colored gray due to some rough chemo), Chinese girls have slowly but surely earned an unshakable position in the center of my personal universe. ajajajajaj
Somehow, the trend seems the opposite for many of the Chinese guys I know. I see Chinese guys absolutely drool over anyone female and not Chinese, with little regard to how attractive she would be by the more common standards in her home country (staple a red wig on a broom handle and I can find a Chinese guy who will take it to dinner ahahahahah). One Chinese friend once confided to me that he was very sad since he couldn't afford to, . . . (how to put this delicately?) . . . spend some quality time with a Russian girl since the local establishment charged twice as much for Russian girls as they did for Chinese girls. afafafafaf
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Ben Dan, the sex olympiad comments were not meant to paint Thai girls as sex obsessed....just to remark that in my experience they are dynamite in bed. Without exception...so either I've had amazing luck or there is some truth to that.
As far as lacking in depth, I only mean that in comparison to Chinese girls. I don't hang out around Khao San, and in fact don't even live in Bangkok. Most of the Thai girls I've been out with have been very nice. But at the same time, most of them just haven't been able to hold what I would consider to be a stimulating conversation. Almost every Chinese girl I went out with could effortlessly hold my interest.
My girlfriend is Thai and I completely understand where you are coming from. Like anywhere else, there are some great girls here. My point is that they are harder to come by here than they are in China. Almost every Chinese girl I went out with was great in one way or another. Sadly, it took me damn near 8 months to find someone as awesome as the girl I'm with now.
I am also on Ajarn, and I agree 100 per cent. Sadly, I know too many people like that in real life as well. "All Thai girls are gold digging whores, ect.". These people set themselves up for experiences like that and then have the nerve to complain when they get burned.
I do not mean to speak ill of Thai women or paint them as sex objects. I just mean to say that I personally found it much easier to form meaningful connections with Chinese girls.
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[/quote]
Somehow, the trend seems the opposite for many of the Chinese guys I know. I see Chinese guys absolutely drool over anyone female and not Chinese, with little regard to how attractive she would be by the more common standards in her home country (staple a red wig on a broom handle and I can find a Chinese guy who will take it to dinner ahahahahah). One Chinese friend once confided to me that he was very sad since he couldn't afford to, . . . (how to put this delicately?) . . . spend some quality time with a Russian girl since the local establishment charged twice as much for Russian girls as they did for Chinese girls. afafafafaf
[/quote]
Lol I used to dinner pimp out my Canadian friend upon occasion afafafafaf
All they needed to hear was that she had blonde hair and they wanted to go out on a date.
So we would then go out to dinner as a group (which the guy would pay for) and go to ktv and all that. Fact is they only cared that she was blonde, it was a fun time had by all and happened a few times.
"wow you know blonde girl??"
"Sure"
"let's go out for dinner and sing, blonde girl very pretty"
"....ok"
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Lol I used to dinner pimp out my Canadian friend upon occasion afafafafaf
All they needed to hear was that she had blonde hair and they wanted to go out on a date.
So we would then go out to dinner as a group (which the guy would pay for) and go to ktv and all that. Fact is they only cared that she was blonde, it was a fun time had by all and happened a few times.
"wow you know blonde girl??"
"Sure"
"let's go out for dinner and sing, blonde girl very pretty"
"....ok"
Hmmmnnn... Ruth is blonde, so this could work. I wonder if I could borrow her from Crippler for a couple of days so I could get some free dinners and KTV? ahahahahah
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Well you know if you love Chinese girls so much then you should come on over to Chongqing, famous all over Chinese as having the most beautiful Chinese girls on offer afafafafaf
I must admit that on occasion upon walking down the center of town I am temporarily struck dumb (aside from the permanent case of retardation that I suffer from) by the beautiful girls strolling in next to nothing during the scorching summer.
Just don't walk down the side streets or you will bump into the swearing dark skinned grannies. Trust me when it's hot enough there is nothing better to spoil your day than to see a spitting toothless granny in a shirt made see through by the sheer amount of sweat being produced by said elderly lady llllllllll llllllllll llllllllll
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Ben Dan, the sex olympiad comments were not meant to paint Thai girls as sex obsessed....just to remark that in my experience they are dynamite in bed. Without exception...so either I've had amazing luck or there is some truth to that.
As far as lacking in depth, I only mean that in comparison to Chinese girls. I don't hang out around Khao San, and in fact don't even live in Bangkok. Most of the Thai girls I've been out with have been very nice. But at the same time, most of them just haven't been able to hold what I would consider to be a stimulating conversation. Almost every Chinese girl I went out with could effortlessly hold my interest.
My girlfriend is Thai and I completely understand where you are coming from. Like anywhere else, there are some great girls here. My point is that they are harder to come by here than they are in China. Almost every Chinese girl I went out with was great in one way or another. Sadly, it took me damn near 8 months to find someone as awesome as the girl I'm with now.
I am also on Ajarn, and I agree 100 per cent. Sadly, I know too many people like that in real life as well. "All Thai girls are gold digging whores, ect.". These people set themselves up for experiences like that and then have the nerve to complain when they get burned.
I do not mean to speak ill of Thai women or paint them as sex objects. I just mean to say that I personally found it much easier to form meaningful connections with Chinese girls.
Glad you cleared that one up decurso. One of my best friends in Chiangmai kept on about how he couldn't ever really love a Thai girl because he couldn't have a meaningful conversation with them. At that time I had a Thai girlfriend (with an M.A. in English), and I found I could talk about anything with her, no problem. For him I think the problem may have been the language barrier, and also he tended to meet ladies without education beyond high school.
Sometimes I think the Thai mind is just a bit different from the Western or Chinese mind, and harder to fathom. As Buddhists – even if they're not practicing it's the underpinning of most of their personal philosophies – they don't put the same emphasis on the intellect, or verbalizing their deeper understanding. So, I think they don't lack depth, they just express it in other ways, such as in silence.
There is also the value placed on having fun in the present and enjoying what one is doing. They have the saying, "if it's not fun it's not worth doing."
Now I miss Thailand, goddam it!
Incidentally, I have a theory that one leaves a little chunk of one's heart in each country or city one's lived in. I got some pieces left in Thailand. Oh well.
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Just don't walk down the side streets or you will bump into the swearing dark skinned grannies. Trust me when it's hot enough there is nothing better to spoil your day than to see a spitting toothless granny in a shirt made see through by the sheer amount of sweat being produced by said elderly lady llllllllll llllllllll llllllllll
Thanks for the tip jpd01 bfbfbfbfbf I'll try to remember not to spit, the swearing part I can't change, or was that sweating? ahahahahah
Thanks also for your thoughts on this topic guys,you have been most helpful and interesting. agagagagag My observations have to be here in Australia. I must tell you that I have been disturbed by the way that I have seen several Asian women treating their Anglo husbands,particularly in the Casino. Perhaps this is just where one might expect to see this behavior. Brow beaten men who appear to be dragged around or told to sit and wait or being ordered to go and do something. I get so angry,on their behalf, that I often make a comment which can gain me a "look" from the woman. I then wonder how their relationship started and how the guy expected things to turn out. I can't comment on Asian men with Anglo women as I have only seen one regular couple and he seems to be of mixed race. As a matter of interest, one man told me that he was offered a substantial sum of money to "marry" a Chinese lady.I can't decide if I believe him,because the conversation was brief and I also did not know the guy very well.
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Interesting reads
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/understanding-chinese-women.htm
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/dating-etiquette-sex-relationships-china.htm
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Interesting reads
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/understanding-chinese-women.htm
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/dating-etiquette-sex-relationships-china.htm
I read that material a while back, and it WAS interesting, and some of it's probably true. However, I thought all the endless prattle about how all the Chinese girls have narcissistic neurosis and whatnot was, to use an expression I learned from an Aussie friend, a "load of bullocks".
Dr. Greg, despite his various and sundry qualifications and posturing, strikes me as someone who sees what's in his eyelashes (OK, I didn't have a real saying for that so I made one up, and maybe it doesn't make sense).
So let me put it more bluntly, it SEEMS as though his perception of Chinese girls is filtered through his observations being only of those girls reactions to him. He doesn't know what they are like when he's not there (kind of like I didn't know at first what this forum was like without me in it). In other words, the narcissistic neurosis and all that may be how Chinese girls interacted with an older, professional, self-confessed lard-tub, with $$$.
This reminds me of how in my city some other foreign males have made declarations about the sheer number of hookers on the street, and how many times they've been solicited. You can't go to the river, I've been told, without getting propositioned. I've yet to be approached even once by a prostitute here (unlike in Chiangmai, where if you go down the wrong street they grab you by the arm and try to drag you into the bar). I'm guessing it's because I'm not looking at the girls with the same lascivious lingering stare.
So, I thought Dr. Greg's erudite jargon about Chinese girls, and all their shortcomings, was a crock-load of bqbqbqbqbq, and actually just a the mirror image of his own inadequacies.
bpbpbpbpbp
I, on the other hand, at least know I'm full of bqbqbqbqbq, meaning I know my perceptions are relative and don't think I can stamp the label on reality and fix people with certain inexorable attributes.
Ah, and this brings me back to my hundreds of Chinese female students, that Dr. Greg's esteemed analysis doesn't apply to. I can't look at them and see all that insufficiency at all. I start to wonder instead about the narcissism of the expert psychiatrist who misdiagnoses a whole country full of women based on their reaction to him. Somewhere he also says that anyone can have a sexy young Chinese woman, even an overweight old codger like himself. And yet he can't see how offensive that sounds (and can't recognize that, if that's the case, given the option of a younger more handsome, but equally rich man, she'd dump him in a second. Der!).
Oh, I shouldn't be so hard on Dr. Greg, I also thought Freud was off-the-mark and wondered if he, himself, was not projecting his own perpetual "anal phase" onto the rest of the population. His interpretation of Oedipus Rex and Antigone were dreadful and ushered in libraries of Freudian anal misinterpretations of classic literature.
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They were interesting articles Day Dreamer and seem to reflect what I have heard before. I would like to hear what an Asian lady, who has lived her life in China, without too much outside influence, thinks about them. One thing which interests me, is the way the Asian girls in Australia hate to get any sun on them. They put books,papers,umbrellas etc over their heads. One Asian acquaintance told me that she does not like her skin to be dark. I told her that she has come to the wrong country. ahahahahah Like most things,it appears to me that when it comes to what is beautiful or handsome,it is personal preference. I saw a segment on a T.V. show about women in Rio I think it was. I could only feel sad when I saw even the young girls from about 3 yrs old, being groomed to be beauty queens. The young women had so much cosmetic surgery and saw that as "normal". I really felt that they were so shallow and they were quite open about using their "looks" to get them what they wanted.I also feel sad when I see that several Asian women want eyelid surgery. What on earth is happening in this world. bibibibibi
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Funny part Granny, my first true passion for both food and women is Indian/Pakistani. Like their Asian cousins of China, skin colour reflects a certain social standing, the lighter the better. As I understand it, there's a simiar attitude with blacks in Africa too.
Too bad, I prefer the darker skin
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Also this blog, by the lovely Crystal from Chongqing......
http://www.lovelovechina.com/
Some light reading, only dipped into it so far.
I've had a chuckle about the sun tan thing too. We westerners want to go brown, Asians want to go pale. Says a lot about cultural differences.
I remember in Thailand I got told "This correct colour!" pointing to my tanned arms, "This not!" pointing to my English shaded shoulders.....so thats another cultural contradiction (Ho-hum!)
But to be fair being English I do start off as pale blue, it takes me at least a week to get white! bnbnbnbnbn
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Interesting reads
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/understanding-chinese-women.htm
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/dating-etiquette-sex-relationships-china.htm
Not logged in for a while...
I haven't read right through those links but I will when I have time. Is 'Dating-etiquette' in China not a myth? I think I only actually experienced the concept of dating once during my five years in China. She was 18 and remains the only girl that didn't sleep with me after the second meeting (she didn't at all).
In fact, my experiences in China probably gave me a somewhat bad impression of asian girls. I could easily have blown it with my current (Korean) girlfriend by coming on too strong too soon (after four dates). Fortunately, living with a couple of Korean guys at the time and my best friend being married to a Korean girl, I knew enough to show a bit of restraint. And I'll forever be glad that I did.
The sample size is small but, I find Korean girls more interesting and attractive than Chinese girls. I'd also argue that they are more honest and less fickle. I was in my mid 20s at the time, so I tended to get involved with youngish (immature if you like) girls but, I could never get my head round the fickleness of Chinese girls. They love you inside two weeks but aren't returning your calls after four. Not always that extreme but still... I suppose I just never had that 'marriage-material' look. Fortunately.
Shoot me down please kkkkkkkkkk
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the fickleness of Chinese girls
I think you got it right ... and in only 5 words !
bjbjbjbjbj
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the fickleness of Chinese girls
I think you got it right ... and in only 5 words !
bjbjbjbjbj
They change their minds easily??
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They change their minds easily??
... as easy as changing cellphone numbers
... as easy as changing the colour of their hair
... as easy as changing boyfriends (well, its is more promoting No2 boyfriend to No 1)
... as easy as deciding the great restaurant of yesterday is now rubbish
... as easy as ........... ???
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They change their minds easily??
... as easy as changing cellphone numbers
... as easy as changing the colour of their hair
... as easy as changing boyfriends (well, its is more promoting No2 boyfriend to No 1)
... as easy as deciding the great restaurant of yesterday is now rubbish
... as easy as ........... ???
In my neighborhood the great restaurant of yesterday IS now rubbish. I would have had to run home from it yesterday, in fact, but the pain in my stomach and risk to my trousers prevented me from doing so.
Seriously, I was just wondering before if "changing their minds" was the intended interpretation of "fickle." I gather now it is. I was listening to a Chinese lesson yesterday, as well (big day for me = 2 things done), and the word "definitely" came up [yi2 ding4]. The Western host commented that Chinese overuse this word when the don't really mean it. The Chinese host countered that Chinese people really DO mean "definitely" when they say it, but they will "definitely" change their minds. They are "more flexible," she said.
All I know is I have a pounding headache [think somehow related yesterday's rather explosive food-based illness] and a class in 16 minutes. I don't know who's fickle or what's hot or not anymore, except the boiling tea water I poured on my hand yesterday (3 things done!).
agagagagag
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Chinese people really DO mean "definitely" when they say it, but they will "definitely" change their minds. They are "more flexible," she said.
The Chinese host gave a very good answer. The longer I live in China the more I think I am living through an episode of The Goon Show.
At the very least, by pretending to be Neddy I find I can cope better with the fluid approach of Chinese people to anything we see as absolutes, including things like 'truth'.
My gf has found a work-around to the problems that might be caused by committing to future plans. 'No Plan', is her normal response.
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After reading several of the accounts of people's perceptions of "Chinese Girls," I start to think there really is a problem of our not knowing what they are like NOT in our own presence. For example, if someone remarks that Chinese "girls" would consistently sleep with him on the 2nd date, this isn't really an observation about Chinese "girls" in general (assuming it's true). The field needs to be narrowed to "Chinese women who were receptive to dating Western men," and perhaps even, "Chinese women who were receptive to dating Western men, and who had gone to a bar to meet them" or "who met them online." There could be many more narrowing qualifications to the point where a general conclusion that "Chinese girls sleep with men on the 2nd date" (not that anyone explicitly declared that) would be completely misleading. Expats don't date Chinese women who won't date Expats.
Another reading of the same scenario could be that young Chinese women who are looking for a Western husband and assume that dating is a definite prelude to marriage and NOT casual, will engage in sex more readily than their Western counterparts. Then, shortly thereafter, when they realize their folly, move on. Recently a Chinese woman who'd been dating a Western man for months asked me, "in the West does dating mean you are going to get married?" She thought it did.
All this makes me more aware of how my own perceptions of Chinese women, and all Chinese people are narrowed by the myopia of my own perceptions as filtered through the interference of my own presence (much as the presence of an experimenter can effect the outcome of an experiment in subatomic physics, or any sociological or psychological test).
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After reading several of the accounts of people's perceptions of "Chinese Girls," I start to think there really is a problem of our not knowing what they are like NOT in our own presence.
That is the reason that I said that I would like to hear from a Chinese girl who has not had too much outside influence. I am beginning to think that we may not get an answer. kkkkkkkkkk
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Although I find Chinese girls almost universally adorable ajajajajaj, it's hard for me to lump 700 million of them into any other category than lovely. ajajajajaj
I've met some who are fickle and others who are very resistant to any change of mind (even when the situation changes). Despite the strong cultural predisposition to get married ASAP, I've met plenty who have figured out that it's better to wait for the right guy than to marry the wrong one now - and others who only learned about this the hard way. I've met some who only love a guy for the size of his very manly . . . wallet, but these have been far far fewer than tales of "all those evil gold diggers" would have otherwise led me to believe.
I think the reasons for this can be boiled down to a few things. 1. China has so many localized differences that "Chinese Culture" can't be fully defined beyond the local or regional level. Since I live in a city full of people from all over China, the differences between my section of my little local village (where I know every guy's family name - they all have the same name) and the city center next door are huge. 2. China is in the midst of a huge societal shift as modernization works its way inland from the coastal provinces at a faster and faster rate. 3. Western ideas are coming in via the media and internet. 4. Life here would be boring if all those pretty girls thought and acted exactly the same. Life here is never boring. bjbjbjbjbj
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After reading several of the accounts of people's perceptions of "Chinese Girls," I start to think there really is a problem of our not knowing what they are like NOT in our own presence.
That is the reason that I said that I would like to hear from a Chinese girl who has not had too much outside influence. I am beginning to think that we may not get an answer. kkkkkkkkkk
Are there no Chinese women on this forum? I hadn't really thought about it until you pointed it out. In fact, it just occurred to me, I might really not like to know what "Chinese girls" think of expat men. I know in Thailand some Thai women asserted that foreign teachers were "bad," pure and simple.
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After reading several of the accounts of people's perceptions of "Chinese Girls," I start to think there really is a problem of our not knowing what they are like NOT in our own presence.
That is the reason that I said that I would like to hear from a Chinese girl who has not had too much outside influence. I am beginning to think that we may not get an answer. kkkkkkkkkk
Are there no Chinese women on this forum? I hadn't really thought about it until you pointed it out. In fact, it just occurred to me, I might really not like to know what "Chinese girls" think of expat men. I know in Thailand some Thai women asserted that foreign teachers were "bad," pure and simple.
We've got a very limited number of Chinese members. Raoul and Noles would know the stats, but I think most of them are spouses of evil foreigners expats. That would unfortunately disqualify them from not having had too much outside experience, but I'd still love to hear their viewpoints.
Let's face it. Not all foreign teachers want to put the local girls on pedestals and admire them. Quite a few FTs just want to see how quickly they can score with as many as possible. Just as it's possible to form a bad stereotype of Chinese girls from meeting one or two bad ones (it pains me to admit it, but I do have evidence that there are at least 2 bad Chinese girls amongst the 700 million of them here), there are plenty of opportunities for Chinese (Thai, etc.) girls to form a bad stereotype of foreign teachers from meeting Stil or George bad FTs.
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I start to think there really is a problem of our not knowing what they are like NOT in our own presence.
Not sure what that means ... but this link may give some insight ... and the site may provide useful clues:
http://www.lovelovechina.com/girls/foreign-prince-on-white-horse/
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I loved the line in the comments on that site:
"I'm not picky, waiting for a guy on a white horse. It can be a white BMW."
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Check out this video by a group of unmarried Chinese women:
http://offbeatchina.com/leftover-women-in-china-speak-their-heart-out-no-house-no-car-no-bride (http://offbeatchina.com/leftover-women-in-china-speak-their-heart-out-no-house-no-car-no-bride)
Key lines from their song:
骂我拜金我也不受伤
Call me a money worshipper, I don’t care
男人总得有个男人的模样
A man should be what a man is meant to be
没车没房 你别想找新娘
No car, no house, no bride
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你没有车 你没有房
If you have no car, nor a house
别想把美女泡上床
Don’t expect to hook up with any hotties:
I don't really want to go the looks category in this video but honestly only about 2 girls in this group wouldn't give me a fright if I bumped into them on a dark night.
Most look like absolute darkness would be the best lighting to accent their features.
我也有车 我也有房
I also have a car, I also have a house
还有人民币在银行
As well as RMB in the bank
Then why do you want mine?
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I don't really want to go the looks category in this video but honestly only about 2 girls in this group wouldn't give me a fright if I bumped into them on a dark night.
Most look like absolute darkness would be the best lighting to accent their features.
Sometimes ugliness of the soul can end up written on the face.
Somehow, I've managed to avoid that type almost completely. The girls I spend time with are wonderful in heart and soul - and it shows on their faces. ajajajajaj ajajajajaj ajajajajaj
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Sometimes ugliness of the soul can end up written on the face.
Nice one! bjbjbjbjbj One reason why, as I mature grow older and wiser visibly decay, I look at the eyes first.
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A friend of mine summed it up a long time ago, from his perspective: "Here at least they TRY." Try what? Try to be pretty, sexy, feminine. I haven't been back to the West in so long I don't even know what Lao Wai Nu Ren look like anymore, hardly, unless I see them on TV or on holiday so am not startled by how slim the Chinese girls are in comparison. Reports from back in the West are a bid dire however, and I think I could easily be dwarfed and only be eligible to respective "featherweight" bouts.
So, yeah, the "girls" here are more feminine in appearance and behavior, and buy into the whole idea of it, try to be cutesy forever and like that. I can see why that would appeal to lots of guys. The tide of feminism and gender politics hasn't hit the short here yet, not really, and it's a bit like traveling back in time. This is probably good for the guys ('cause all the cards are stacked in their favor), but not the ladies, who have to try so hard to be sexy and it seems like even compete with hookers for their man's attention.
I'm just guessing it's that more than the purely biological stuff (except in Escaped Lunatic's case, in which he's absolutely smitten with everything about Chinese ladies, even the one's that win power lifting competitions in the Olympics or sport mustaches). That also connects with the stuff guys say about the attitudes of Western women.
My take on this, one one level, is that people can be attracted to whomever they want, and there's nothing wrong with liking a feminine "girl", but us guys might keep in mind that the reason the "girls" are so feminine has a lot to do with a patriarchal society in full swing and women occupying a subordinate, often subservient, and otherwise compromised position.
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I have a different theory. The Party thrust women into the workforce way back in the Fifties. Take the engineering fields: while China doesn't have a 50-50 gender balance, the proportion of women dwarfs that of Canada.
So I argue that China largely sidestepped the acrimony of reform and backlash that characterized the struggle for women's rights in the West. I won't go so far as to say women have an equal shot at advancement, or that Chinese bosses don't play grabass with their female subordinates, just that women's access to jobs doesn't seem to be an issue.
Given this, perhaps Chinese women feel no need to "masculinize" their appearance and demeanour at work.
Of course, given that I'm a middle-aged male foreigner, I could well be wrong. aeaeaeaeae
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I won't go so far as to say women have an equal shot at advancement, or that Chinese bosses don't play grabass with their female subordinates, just that women's access to jobs doesn't seem to be an issue.
Given this, perhaps Chinese women feel no need to "masculinize" their appearance and demeanour at work.
Interesting theory. There might be truth in it in some situations. I always like getting a lady taxi driver, and was surprised to see them here. There are lots of lady traffic cops as well. So, I think you're at least partially right about job access (I can't grant more than partially right to anything I haven't researched the living crap out of).
So, you say, a woman doesn't need to be manly to get the job, so she can be cutesy/sexy. Now I'm starting to shake my head. I just remembered an article on ChinaSMACK about a talent/beauty contest held for prospective female employees at big companies in China. Let me look it up. Somebody probably posted it in Raoul's, at least that's why I think I saw it in the first place, so you may remember it as well.
Ah, here it is:
In Chengdu, beautiful girls walk the catwalk to apply for jobs, while CEOs sit in the audience to evaluate them
On the evening of November 27th, within a hotel in Chengdu, 40 young beauties walked the catwalk/runway. They are not models nor are they contestants in a beauty pageant, but rather they are here to apply for jobs. Those recruiting them are 80 company CEOs beneath the stage in the audience. Was this recruiting or for finding marriage partners? This incited a lot of questions and suspicions from city residents.
link: http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/pictures/40-young-pretty-girls-walk-runway-seeking-jobs-from-80-recruiting-ceos.html (http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/pictures/40-young-pretty-girls-walk-runway-seeking-jobs-from-80-recruiting-ceos.html)
So, yeah, maybe while the women can get the job, it looks like sometimes they need to look pretty (and quite possibly are intended to put out). Actually, the more I think about it, even in the West there's no pressure for women to look masculine in the workplace to get a job. Quite the opposite, I think.
I think I'm going to stick with my theory = patriarchal society values women for being submissive, docile, cute, and sexy (I suddenly remembered a male Chinese colleague being surprises at how well I treat the less attractive "girls" in my classes), and they largely go along with it whether they want to or not. Do I need to qualify that I could be wrong, or does my name and avatar cover me for that? [can never get a post off without multiple typos, damnit.]
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I find that many Chinese girls/women just have no ambition when it comes down to working. The big goal seems to be to either find the richest husband so they don't have to work or hope that their own husband can work very hard so he can get a promotion and make lots of money so she doesn't have to work anymore. I would say that about 70% of my friends are Chinese but I do have more male friends compared to female. I guess I find it harder to find Chinese girlfriends that I have things in common with.
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I won't go so far as to say women have an equal shot at advancement, or that Chinese bosses don't play grabass with their female subordinates, ...
A Chinese woman I know, now about 60 and a mid-rank official, says even that has changed over the last few decades. When she was young. if the boss wanted to play, the girl might say no, but if he was nasty about it, she had no backing. Neither the law nor the Party would do anything to help her, even if he fired her.
Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.
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Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.
Can you say BILL CLINTON?
What makes these issues any different in China than what our countries went through decades ago? WOW, a girl trying to find a rich husband so she doesn't have to work.
Now I know they exist here too, but often I've heard uni girls claim they want to improve to the point where they don't need their looks or partners. They strive for self sufficiency. Tough row to hoe, but they're catching on
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Can you say BILL CLINTON?
What makes these issues any different in China than what our countries went through decades ago? WOW, a girl trying to find a rich husband so she doesn't have to work.
On a kind of humorous level, I'd say that Bill Clinton was the frick'n president and all he got was a little action from an intern, but even the mid-level bureaucrats in China have a comparative harem at their disposal, and with no consequences.
Nowhere in America do you have prospective female employees going on a runway to "show themselves" in order to get the equivalent of a secretarial position.
Something like the whole scandal about Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill wouldn't be worthy of batting an eyelash here.
Also, I don't think that whole attempt at impeaching Clinton was about Monica Lewinsky: it was just an excuse to get him out and replace him with someone even friendlier to big business and banking and the military/industrial complex.
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Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.
I agree, but this is China and there is always another angle to everything.
Two years before I arrived in this city a Party leader hit the headlines for the wrong reasons:
Concubine Culture Brings Trouble for China's Bosses
· Eleven mistresses unite to denounce corrupt cadre· Post-M** era sees revival of 'second wives' tradition
The report on the incident gives some insight to the culture surrounding power and sex in China:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/151676.html
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Today, the Bosses still get laid a lot, but they mostly have to pay for it, keeping a mistress or paying hookers. Some still grab their staff, but they rarely use threats to get a lass's clothes off. The girl would now have backing; the Party has made it clear that it Does Not Approve of that sort of shenanigans.
I agree, but this China and there is always another angle to everything.
Two years before I arrived in this city a Party leader hit the headlines for the wrong reasons:
Concubine Culture Brings Trouble for China's Bosses
· Eleven mistresses unite to denounce corrupt cadre· Post-M** era sees revival of 'second wives' tradition
The report on the incident gives some insight to the culture surrounding power and sex in China:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/151676.html
Yikes. Here's an excerpt from that article:
Mr Pang, 63, was the Communist party chief of Baoji city. His position gave him the power to decide the fate of his subordinates and the awarding of local development contracts.
According to the People's Daily, he persuaded many of the most attractive and young wives of his employees to become his mistresses in return for "big money projects" for their husbands.
Local media said Mr Pang earned the nickname "mayor zipper" in Baoji and city officials had a saying among themselves: "No sacrifice [of one's wife], no gain."
In one case, Mr Pang's wife and mistresses worked together on a water-diversion project that collapsed less than a year after the construction was finished, the paper said.
His fate was sealed when several of his mistresses' husbands were sentenced to death for bribery. The wives joined forces to denounce Pang, who would otherwise probably have escaped censure because of his political connections.
Bill Clinton isn't in the competition. That's grim stuff.
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Hey peeps,
So my slightly late tongue in cheek un-informed opinion is that...
Most of the expat men/boys I have met (read that as MOST not ALL) wouldn't stand a chance with the expat women/girls here!
I'm not going to toot my own horn (to much), but I am a stereotypically attractive girl - all the Chinese boys.. AND girls tell me so ahahahahah and I know that these guys would not be hooking up with the gorgeous girls that they do here, back in their home environment - the girls just wouldn't have them or their often outdated and racist ideals!
Ignoring the age difference, the oft sighted bulging bellies, generally less than fantastic drinking, eating and hygiene habits - and focusing more on 'who' these guys are ... they still wouldn't stand a chance.
There are some people here that enjoy not having to look after themselves at all -
"Hey dude, where's the mop, I just knocked a drink over"
"Oh I don't know, I haven't mopped since I got here"
(He's been here for 5 years and no, he doesn't have a cleaner!)
"Oh I didn't know you had a new gf, what happened to Summer?"
"Oh, you know its all about the chase, Chinese girls get boring really quickly you know - they're just a convenience"
"Can you speak Chinese?"
"Nah, no need - that's why I've got a sleeping dictionary"
"Learn how to drive you idiot! Chinese people - they don't know anything, I hate this country"
"Then maybe you should... you know, go somewhere else (like home)"
"Home has gone to the dogs, I'd never go back to that stinking place"
This is not mentioning the attractive guys who take full advantage of this and date several girls at once (not technically anything wrong with this), but sleeping with them all and not being honest... well.
I'm not a feminist brandishing a burning bra, and do love it when a guy opens doors for me etc but it feels like the foreign men here have a tendency to forget about women's rights back home. Rights that their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunties etc fought for. Apparently it's getting lost in translation. I understand its a different culture... but where is the respect for women as a whole?
There are men here who have married local girls, and given it their all - learning to speak the language fluently, studying the culture, committing to both time in China and in their home countries etc. They are the men here, the rest are boys, playing at a mens game.
Please don't hate me :wtf:
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What makes these issues any different in China than what our countries went through decades ago? WOW, a girl trying to find a rich husband so she doesn't have to work.
Now I know they exist here too, but often I've heard uni girls claim they want to improve to the point where they don't need their looks or partners. They strive for self sufficiency. Tough row to hoe, but they're catching on
Oh I hope that quote thing just worked. My students say that there is a saying in Chinese... If a girl isn't pretty, she better study.
My mumma always said: "Do not rely on prettiness to get you anywhere - that will only take you to low end places, you need brains. Pretty gets you in the door, brains gets to the top floor"
I shared this with my students. They just told me I should marry a rich man, and that working will make me look older sooner.
Bless their hearts!
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"Can you speak Chinese?"
"Nah, no need - that's why I've got a sleeping dictionary"
Sometimes I'm suspicious that my wife married me to get an English dictionary.
I'm not a feminist brandishing a burning bra,
Ummmm.... am I a bad man if I find that image to be a turn on. afafafafaf
and do love it when a guy opens doors for me etc but it feels like the foreign men here have a tendency to forget about women's rights back home. Rights that their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunties etc fought for. Apparently it's getting lost in translation. I understand its a different culture... but where is the respect for women as a whole?
I'll admit there are some major sleazebags who perfectly fit your description, but I like to think of myself as guy who adores females. I just happen to find those of Chinese extraction even more adorable. Other guys (including many Chinese ones) prefer blondes or redheads.
There are men here who have married local girls, and given it their all - learning to speak the language fluently, studying the culture, committing to both time in China and in their home countries etc. They are the men here, the rest are boys, playing at a mens game.
If I could get my lovely local wife to stop turning every English sentence she encounters into a grammar, spelling, and pronunciation lesson, I might have a chance to learn a bit more Mandarin. llllllllll
Oddly enough, I'm almost always the only one in the family who ever wears traditional clothing for the holidays and special occasions. I had quite a time getting my darling to agree to a red wedding dress. bjbjbjbjbj
Please don't hate me :wtf:
Luv ya! akakakakak
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Thank you for not tearing me to shreds. bjbjbjbjbj
I'm interested from a laowai nu ren's perspective to hear views on this.
I (and the other ladies here) have noticed that once a guy gets a girlfriend here it is no longer ok for us to 'hang out'. What's more the guys seem to comply so easily.
I understand from a girls perspective that you definitely don't want your guy hanging around with another girl, but when there is a pre-existing friendship and if any moves were going to be made they would have, it seems silly to put a stop to this friendship.
Having approached a few of the males who have fallen into this practice - the response seems to be "I don't want to upset my girlfriend". Which is understandable, stupid, and frustrating!
I'm aware that there is a cultural aspect to this.... however, I wish the guys here would continue to be brothers in arms, instead of encouraging this unhealthy practice.
Dare I start the debate that men and women can be friends kkkkkkkkkk
Sorry, I realise I am ranting and venting. It's ok, because I'm going on holidays soon and we all know that a nice rest fixes everything (mwa haha) :alcoholic:
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I've met my Chinese wife for the first time in real life in China on June 22rd (coincidently my parents 49th wedding anniversery), June 23rd (my 48th birthday) we went to see the Great Wall and on June 24th we were married. After a long wait for her visa, we were reunited in Texas December 20th, 2005. I can say without a doubt she is the smartest woman I know. She can speak three languages, (Chinese English and Russian), she is a financial whiz and she is the sexiest woman I have ever known. Unlike my previous marriages that were pretty much over after five years, I am as much in love with her as the day we met and she is still my #1 hottie.
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Having approached a few of the males...
ahahahahah
Are you finding the local competition a little stiff?
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Thank you for not tearing me to shreds. bjbjbjbjbj
I'm interested from a laowai nu ren's perspective to hear views on this.
I (and the other ladies here) have noticed that once a guy gets a girlfriend here it is no longer ok for us to 'hang out'. What's more the guys seem to comply so easily.
I understand from a girls perspective that you definitely don't want your guy hanging around with another girl, but when there is a pre-existing friendship and if any moves were going to be made they would have, it seems silly to put a stop to this friendship.
Having approached a few of the males who have fallen into this practice - the response seems to be "I don't want to upset my girlfriend". Which is understandable, stupid, and frustrating!
I'm aware that there is a cultural aspect to this.... however, I wish the guys here would continue to be brothers in arms, instead of encouraging this unhealthy practice.
Dare I start the debate that men and women can be friends kkkkkkkkkk
Sorry, I realise I am ranting and venting. It's ok, because I'm going on holidays soon and we all know that a nice rest fixes everything (mwa haha) :alcoholic:
mkate, I had an experience like this before I was married. I had a really close guy friend -- we'd came over to China on the same Study Abroad program (SIT ftw, by the way) and both returned to Kunming about a year later and we pretty much did everything together, although our friendship was always platonic. I actually introduced him to his girlfriend, and for quite awhile we had a nice little crew going -- she had a guy cousin we would hang out with a lot too -- and then suddenly his girlfriend got inexplicably jealous of me. This was around the time when my friend, who is a rapper (don't laugh!) and I got a dancing monkey gig in Dali and went away together to do a set of shows for 4 nights. I was backup vocals, naturally. ;) Again, it was all platonic and my friend and I were pretty broke and needed the money but the girlfriend got very weird about the whole thing. I had to remind her that I had been the one to set her up with her boyfriend in the first place and I had never uttered one bad word about her to my friend, despite the fact that their relationship had become fairly toxic. And my friend, to his credit, would have none of it. He thought his girlfriend was being ridiculous, especially given our history together, all of us.
Anyhow, they broke up not that much later and I think her jealousy was in part because she knew the relationship was deteriorating and she was at that stage where she was picking fights with him almost constantly trying to get him to "prove" he loved her. Most women (and men too I guess), I think, who are secure in their relationships are not bugged by opposite sex friendships so much. There's nothing like insecurity to bring on jealousy.
I think that Chinese girls -- well, guys too -- in general are less tolerant of opposite sex friendships but also, think of it from their perspective. You're cute, you're young, you come from a similar background as the guy, you speak the same language as the guy, so they probably do feel threatened in a way. I also think that there are plenty of Westerners who are not that keen on their partner hanging out with certain people. Most of us try not to be possesive jealous headcases -- that's not really socially acceptable in modern progressive society -- so we try and reign in our jealous impulses but they're still there aren't they?
It sucks that you're losing some of your buddies but hopefully their girlfriends will settle down at some point. The relationships might be short lived anyhow!
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Happily, my wife doesn't get too
violent jealous when I mention that most of my best friends are incredibly hot looking girls. ahahahahah
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This thread was fascinating reading. Thanks. bfbfbfbfbf
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Dare I start the debate that men and women can be friends
I wouldn't say that they can't be, but very often, one party or the other secretly wishes it were more than friendship. Also, very often, there is some sort of "history" there, either a past dating history or fling or something.
I have this general rule: If you've seen someone's anus, that person is not your friend.
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I have this general rule: If you've seen someone's anus, that person is not your friend.
That is an interesting rule zero. I wonder if age has something to do with friendship between men and women also. By that I mean as we age, we better control our instincts. I relate better to men than women and always have and my observations are that impotent men are often the ones who come up to me for a chat. The sex perspective has been removed and we can discuss lots of things without my wondering when the "dick" will get in the way.(Pardon my expression ladies) I do understand that guys are hot wired differently from females; I had six brothers and was a nurse and had lots of male friends. How are older Chinese ladies as far as friends go and not as sexual interests?
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How are older Chinese ladies as far as friends go and not as sexual interests?
Depends on what you define as older. I have found women 35-45 (not old really) to be far more interested in casual sex than many of the 25-30ish crowd in my city. Met many in that age bracket both married and divorced who say they want a friend but friend just seems a polite way to say fuck buddy.
Also, I'd say if an older Chinese woman who is married told her husband "hey I made a friend with a foreign man"...things may get interesting around the dinner table.
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Also, I'd say if an older Chinese woman who is married told her husband "hey I made a friend with a foreign man"...things may get interesting around the dinner table.
I'm nearly 67 and I know lots of married blokes who come up to me for a chat or who sit down and play a poker machine beside me and have a chat; perhaps because they know that I'm not interested in their bodies. ahahahahah Naturally I know some of the wives, but don't have much to do with them and before you ask, No, I'm not considered ugly, I just don't flirt and I don't babble on about crap. bfbfbfbfbf I wonder if it would be acceptable if a Chinese bloke went home and said "hey I made a friend with a foreign woman"?
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Granny, I remind you, if you've seen their anuses, they're not just your "friends" ... ahahahahah
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Also, I'd say if an older Chinese woman who is married told her husband "hey I made a friend with a foreign man"...things may get interesting around the dinner table.
I'm nearly 67 and I know lots of married blokes who come up to me for a chat or who sit down and play a poker machine beside me and have a chat; perhaps because they know that I'm not interested in their bodies. ahahahahah Naturally I know some of the wives, but don't have much to do with them and before you ask, No, I'm not considered ugly, I just don't flirt and I don't babble on about crap. bfbfbfbfbf I wonder if it would be acceptable if a Chinese bloke went home and said "hey I made a friend with a foreign woman"?
Sorry Granny, didn't realize the age bracket you were talking about. Yeah, I'd imagine at that age there would be few problems. the age brackets I am familiar with keep asking if I can use chopsticks and if I like Chinese food and if they are married...most of their husbands would shit a solid gold brick if they learn their wife has a young(ish) and devilishly handsome ahahahahah foreign friend.
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Granny, I remind you, if you've seen their anuses, they're not just your "friends" ... ahahahahah
The closest I'd come to that situation is when they bend over to pick up a coin off the floor. bfbfbfbfbf So it's over for them then if they have a split in the seam of their pants! ahahahahah
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I love this forum ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
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So do I Zero. bfbfbfbfbf Now for a bit of trivia. It's WOTY (word of the year) time again. This is an annual even started by the American Dialect Society (ADS) in 1991. Other countries also do this. With the American WOTY awards for 2011 under the heading of MOST CREATIVE was the winning word "Mellencamp" meaning a woman who has passed the age of being called a "cougar" (after the singer John Cougar Mellencamp) Yeah! I reckon most of you have heard of him. uuuuuuuuuu Before anyone asks, No! I don't fall into that category except for being past the "cougar" age; I don't chase young blokes or any other blokes or females. ahahahahah It got me wondering if there are any Chinese cougars or Mellencamps? What do you guys know or what have you heard?
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My observation over time is that Chinese women by and large do not like younger guys to settle down with. There is a strong cultural expectation that they marry someone older, richer and better educated than themselves. However, I also observe that, when they're already married, or divorced, many have no problem with having a bit of "fun," that being uncommitted sexual relations. And in that case, it's fine if the guy is younger. So the woman might be 45 and the guy could be 35, no problem.
In general, younger guys won't be taken seriously for serious purposes but are fine for recreation. As in all cases, it's best if the guy has something material to offer, not just a pretty face and a hulking, sweaty body.
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Thanks zero. bfbfbfbfbf I find it sad that people can be so materialistic. I get the impression that this is a cultural thing in China. Would that be a correct assumption?
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Yes, correct, it is the story of modern-day China, summed up in one word.
Conditions have traditionally been tough in China, and there was very little chance of rising in social status except through marriage. So you can see why what we view as "gold-digging" took on its importance. Even today there aren't that many opportunities to move ahead in life. The conditions are better nowadays but the attitude hasn't changed at all. If anything it's worse than ever since there is a lot of money flating around, unevenly distributed, to scramble for.
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Isn't it strange about the value placed on social status! In the final analysis what does it matter; we all die. When I was young, we had nothing and expected nothing and to be honest, I get really bored with people who think it is all about material possessions. Sure I know that we need certain things to have a comfortable life, but who really needs to parade in the top brand name clothes? I for one have more value than that in my beliefs of "to thine own self be true....". Each time I go to the Casino, I am fascinated and annoyed by the fact that I will always have a Chinese or Asian audience if I can't stop my machine from making a noise; it's all about money!
I gather then that it's ok for the old girls to have some "recreation" with a young guy, but anything more is not really on the agenda. I have never seen any evidence of old girls and young guys here,(in the Asian population) plenty of the reverse of course. I'll probably get howled down here,but It's no wonder the older, "drop kick", anglo type guys are happy to have a young Asian lady on their arm; they both get what they want.
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No "OK" per se from the husbands' perspective, but the husbands are so busy chasing young skirts that they probably never notice.
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I'll probably get howled down here,but It's no wonder the older, "drop kick", anglo type guys are happy to have a young Asian lady on their arm; they both get what they want.
No howling down from me. I adore Chinese girls, but really wonder when I see some guy who looks to be pushing 70 with a girl just out of high school (or younger) snuggled up to him.
Personally, I prefer a girl who loves me for my personality (and overwhelming handsomeness) to a girl who loves the massive size of my great big foreign . . . wallet.
No "OK" per se from the husbands' perspective, but the husbands are so busy chasing young skirts that they probably never notice.
I'm under the impression that Chinese wives who have "outside fun" are a bit more discreet than Chinese husbands.
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Thanks for the info guys. bfbfbfbfbf My observations here in Australia are that if an old anglo codger and a young anglo girl were ever to be seen "snuggling", everyone would stop, look and point, particularly if he wasn't famous or it wasn't his grandaughter or if he didn't look like one of the super wealthy. To be honest, I have never seen anything like that myself. It is however not unusual to see that situation with a young Asian lass. I find it very sad that folk place material things before emotional ones in these situations. I couldn't care less if a guy was dripping with diamonds; he'd have no chance if we couldn't love as people first. I really don't believe that a lot of the "snuggling" ladies are starving and homeless. What do you guys think?
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Overall I agree. But I will say, in the U.S., when I was in my early 20s, we had AOL as our internet provider. I have no idea how popular AOL was in other countries, so forgive me if I am telling you things you already know. It had abundant chat rooms, instant messaging and a member directory. I and I guess all the other guys my age were on there constantly chatting with young ladies, if they'd talk to us. A lot of the time you'd introduce yourself and they wouldn't pay much attention to you, as women on there tend to be accosted by tons of guys and end up in "IM (instant message) hell" with 15 or 20 windows open. It was rare that girls would introduce themselves to guys, since there was no need. Well once, I put in my profile that I was a lawyer, I can't remember why, maybe as a joke or just to see what would happen. And frankly, a day or two later I'd forgotten I did it. I signed on and suddenly I was on the receiving a bunch of Ims. And all of my jokes were funny. And people didn't have to sign off to go walk their dog or whatever; they gave me their rapt attention. I was like, what's up? Why am I suddenly popular? Then I looked at my profile: lawyer. I learned something that day about how the world works.
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So what you're saying is that the act of pretending to be a lawyer on the internet somehow improved your personality so much that people stopped ignoring you and started wanting to talk to you, right?
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...
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zero, I've never been in a chat room in my life and I have never seen one, but I have heard about what you are saying. If people eventually met up in person and got out of fairyland, wouldn't they soon discover that the other person was lying? I hear that on these dating sites, a lot of older women, (not teenagers) are being fleeced of their money. I gather that they eventually wake up that they have been screwed after their money is gone. I find that very sad. They usually don't marry these ladies though. Don't know if ladies do that to older men. I learned how the world works when I worked in Compensation and Public liability. There is where you see humans at their worst and people wonder why I don't like humans.
eggcluck, always remember "To thine own self be true...." If you tried to pull any stunts, I'd say that you would be caught out pretty quickly and that you would pay a high price and it wouldn't just be in monetary terms. Would you really be happy with a dishonest women? To be truthful, I and many people I know, feel sickened by the behavior of most of the young ladies who are hanging off a lot of guys. It is blatantly obvious that true love has nothing to do with the situation, particularly when it involves young Asian girls. I knew a guy from an Asian Country who would bring out girls and match them up with guys who lacked the skills to get a young lady. He told me that she must marry the guy and pop out a child as soon as possible. The divorce can follow with welfare payments etc for mum and the child and hubby often proving a house and other things etc. I really felt sad for those guys who lost so much through loneliness. Don't ever be dishonest eggcluck or settle for obvious dishonesty; there will only be one loser! Before I get into trouble, I will hasten to say that there appears to be many cases where true love has been the reason that certain folk have matched up and good luck to them. bfbfbfbfbf
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Compensation and public liability, is that like the welfare department? What kind of stuff did you see?
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Compensation was for injuries received as an employee whilst on the job. Public liability involved compensation (in monetary terms) for members of the public who suffered an injury as a result of an unsafe condition. In these areas one often sees fraudulent and exaggerated claims being made in an effort to be paid substantial sums of money. I saw the greedy and dishonest side of many many people and in doing so, I learned what great actors they can be. This is why I feel very sorry for the folk who are being screwed for some sort of gain and feelings of love and caring don't appear to come into the equation except as an act which gains them what they want. As a matter of interest, I have never seen a young anglo lass hanging off an Asian male the way I regularly see the reverse. Are Asian males too smart, or don't they particularly like anglo females, or can you guys tell me what it is that perhaps I'm not seeing? Sure I know that some of our ladies are married to Asian males, but they appear to be in the minority.
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Maybe the old Asian dudes are too short. Research shows that shortness is one of the top turnoffs to women.
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Zero, I don't know if you are pulling my leg or not! Seriously though, I have often wondered about this situation which is blatently obvious, particularly at the Casino which is FULL of Asians who are from different Asian regions. To be honest, I also often wonder how some of the Asians and Anglos tolerate some of these ladies who can be very bossy. One old girl who looked in her late 80's and who couldn't speak English, tried to get me to vacate a poker machine that she had left one and a half hours earlier. She had left her card and 13 cents in the machine and she thought she could come back when she was ready. Boy, what a performance she put on. ahahahahah The only reason she didn't stamp her foot was because she had a walking stick and would have fallen over. I got another Asian lady to explain that an attendant had taken her card and that she can't tie up a machine like that. The other Asian Lady told me that the old girl didn't care and that she wanted the machine. I told her, in effect, to "Piss off" The old girl plays every day, so I couldn't believe that she didn't know the rules. She went away and returned with another attendant who was quickly put in the picture. I have seen this type of childish behaviour from Asian women before and have wondered how anyone would tolerate it. Most of them know now not to try to step on my toes as do the men who bash the keys and who scratch the screens. uuuuuuuuuu Those who don't, pretty soon learn! bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah Perhaps these ladies learn, from an early age, how to manipulate people, particularly men, to get what they want? Zero, I don't think height has a lot to do with it, given that I am aware of several Asian men who are taller than my 172cms. I have taken to observing them to see if they "perv" on the young anglo ladies or on any age group for that matter. If they do, they are not obvious about it. Has anyone got any observations to share on this from any country including China. If we take the "shortness" one step further zero, I am told on VERY good authority that a lot of the stories are not correct. ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
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Perhaps these ladies learn, from an early age, how to manipulate people, particularly men, to get what they want?
Try being married to one, Granny Mae. alalalalal
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I wouldn't have the patience zero. kkkkkkkkkk To be quite honest, I wouldn't be able to live with a man whose culture was too different from my own; perhaps I'm too old and set in my ways. bgbgbgbgbg ahahahahah
Back to the serious question though. Are Asian men interested in Anglo women in a similar manner to the way Asian women appear interested in Anglo men. I ask, because I have seen no signs of it, even in the students here in Brisbane who appear to hang around with their mates? Does anyone have any ideas, thoughts or facts to share?
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At the moment I know two couples here in the U.S. where the male is Chinese and the lady is a white American. Additionally, my best friend is of Chinese descent, but came to the U.S. at age 10, and he was married to a white woman but divorced. He dates white women almost exclusively, from what I've observed, and has no problems attracting them. He's recently said he'd like to settle down with a nice Chinese girl, but I don't see that reflected in his dating habits.
I can't really draw any conclusions except that it is a pairing that happens, just less commonly.
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Hi All,
Im new here. Just saw you guys' conversation over the topics on chinese girls/women. It's funny and interesting. afafafafaf
Do you know how to distinguish between southern and northern chinese women? how do you guys think about taiwanese girls?
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I tell the truth! No Offense Please!
The outstanding chinese girls/women born in decent families prefer to date and marry to asian guys. Similar cultures and backgrounds link to good quality communications. Most chinese women marry to caucasian for the reasons below.
First of all, numerous chinese guys close their doors to divorced women especially with kid(s).
Secondly, she can be granted a permanent resident in western country via intermarriage.
Thirdly, she is plain-looking and not able to find a match in her race.
Fourthly, marrying to a white brings glory to her family especially in low class society.
Lastly, few of them truly love their white hubbies.
If you guys complained chinese women are gold-digging and materialistic, I think you are not honest with your sense and trying to escape from reality. Even in US most high paid ivy leagues white grads prefer to date their race and vice versa.
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Back to the serious question though. Are Asian men interested in Anglo women in a similar manner to the way Asian women appear interested in Anglo men. I ask, because I have seen no signs of it, even in the students here in Brisbane who appear to hang around with their mates? Does anyone have any ideas, thoughts or facts to share?
Give me a blonde or red haired wig and a broomstick. I'll get it dates with 5 different Chinese guys within 20 minutes.
(And not that I have any personal experience with this, but I've heard from a reliable source that blonde rental girls from Russia command twice the price of a similar encounter with a very lovely Chinese girl - personally, if that's the choice, I'd pick 2 Chinese girls. afafafafaf)
Do you know how to distinguish between southern and northern chinese women? how do you guys think about taiwanese girls?
On average (with MANY exceptions), Northern girls tend to be taller than southern girls. Northern girls tend to have lighter skin than southern girls. There are also some slight differences in typical facial structure, so with experience, you may find you can guess what area a girl is from with somewhat more accuracy than flipping coins. I enjoy trying to guess what province a girl is from and usually do slightly better than my Chinese friends. ababababab
I haven't met too many girls from TW, so don't have a lot of basis for comparison.
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I tell the truth! No Offense Please!
The outstanding chinese girls/women born in decent families prefer to date and marry to asian guys. Similar cultures and backgrounds link to good quality communications. Most chinese women marry to caucasian for the reasons below.
First of all, numerous chinese guys close their doors to divorced women especially with kid(s).
Secondly, she can be granted a permanent resident in western country via intermarriage.
Thirdly, she is plain-looking and not able to find a match in her race.
Fourthly, marrying to a white brings glory to her family especially in low class society.
Lastly, few of them truly love their white hubbies.
If you guys complained chinese women are gold-digging and materialistic, I think you are not honest with your sense and trying to escape from reality. Even in US most high paid ivy leagues white grads prefer to date their race and vice versa.
Foreign guys all know this. It just doesn't matter, because Chinese standards of beauty and social class are irrelevant to us. We are basing our decisions on what we like, by personal standards and Western standards. Whether a Chinese guy would find the woman attractive or would find her family to be "decent" are not considerations for us. Those are things for Chinese people to worry about.
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Northern girls are more aggressive and straightforward in relationship. Northern girls kick your ass (where's the icon?) yet southern girls drown you in endless sharp words.
Northern girls tend to have lighter skin tone? I have no clue. Girls born in big cities such as Peking and Shanghai have lighter skin. why? they dunnt have to exposure to sunlight.
Well, I made friends with women from singapore, korea, india, iran, russia, and ukraine. Though they are not career ambitious and intelligent as chinese born women, they are more honest, sincere, well-mannered, gentle and tender.
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The outstanding chinese girls/women born in decent families prefer to date and marry to asian guys.
Not sure I buy this argument. I find it hard to accept that only "women of low birth", as implied, will date a foreigner. I know too many cases that belie it.
And Ivy Leaguers are a tiny fraction of 1% of the American population. They don't exactly set the standards for the whole country.
Otherwise...much truth in what you say.
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Well, Mark Zuckerberg's girlfriend is an Asian American .. not sure the race thing holds up for Ivy Leaguers.
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uschina2012.........The outstanding chinese girls/women born in decent families prefer to date and marry to asian guys.
Bullshit! My outstanding Chinese girl preferred to marry me, and I aint Asian!! Methinks you generalise too much. For example............."Though they are not career ambitious and intelligent as chinese born women, they are more honest, sincere, well-mannered, gentle and tender."
I am sure there must be some intelligent, ambitious girls in those particular countries, but you probably aren't smart enough to meet them!
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fun little reading to lighten the thread without going out of topic..
I've never had to deal with it myself but i've seen it happen many times over.
http://www.theworldofchinese.com/2012/02/chinese-slang-temper-tantrum-101/
a little quote:
Chinese women are masters of the temper tantrum art known as sajiao (撒娇). The term is difficult to translate, but it refers to the above types of whining. Some associate it with the word taoyan (讨厌, annoying), hollered to men by their drama queens. Sajiaoing is a kind of game—when done well it can win great affection from male suitors; when done poorly it strikes fear in their hearts
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I think most of you are not familiar with chinese culture and environment.
In China the marriage is not only the matter of newlyweds but also two families. For those well-educated and well-mannered girls born in decent families marriages usually arranged among similar social class. Chinese parents prefer their princesses to marry to asian princes. Most outstanding chinese girls from decent families studied abroad, some of them received their advanced degrees from top-notch universities. They received education from western countries, therefore they are capable of understanding western culture and value, and more easier to communicate and get along with. Marriage is commitment and vary cultures and backgrounds will impact your marriage life enormously. Can you accept your chinese mother-in-law living with you for half a year and point the finger on your daily life? Can you accept your mother-in-law putting the food in her mouth first to test the temperature and then feed your kids? Can you accept your father-in-law smoking in the house before the kids? Can you accept your chinese wife badmouth your friends and be negative to the other people? Can you accept your chinese wife forcing you to turn on your most income and deposit into her account? Just think about it!!! You have to understand and ask yourself if you can accept all of those odd things.
Zero: Mark is an exception. Besides patricia chan and cece cheng how many white elites have chinese girlfriends or wives?
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masters of the temper tantrum art known as sajiao (撒娇). The term is difficult to translate
-- sugar daddy game ahahahahah
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I've been bored for awhile, but things are starting to pick up!
Welcome uschina2012.
Hahaha agagagagag
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Hi Stil. afafafafaf
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I think most of you are not familiar with chinese culture and environment.
See! Generalising again! Most of us have spent years in China, and have learnt a lot about Chinese culture and environment. Don't make the mistake of thinking we are all piss-ignorant laowai!
Besides patricia chan and cece cheng how many white elites have chinese girlfriends or wives?
How about that wonderful American, Rupert Murdoch?
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I think most of you are not familiar with chinese culture and environment.
Guess I'll have to ask my outstanding Chinese wife why she married me, since I'm not too familiar with Chinese culture and environment. bjbjbjbjbj
Compliments of Nolefan:
Chinese women are masters of the temper tantrum art known as sajiao (撒娇). The term is difficult to translate, but it refers to the above types of whining. Some associate it with the word taoyan (讨厌, annoying), hollered to men by their drama queens. Sajiaoing is a kind of game—when done well it can win great affection from male suitors; when done poorly it strikes fear in their hearts
Noles, quit telling the world how my wife strikes fear into my heart! ahahahahah
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Escaped Lunatic: do wish you and your wife have a happy marriage life for eternity. May I see your beloved wife's photo?
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There's Mitch McConnell, the senator married to Elaine Chao. I think Zhang Ziyi has been spotted with a few white boys, too.
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Marriage is commitment and vary cultures and backgrounds will impact your marriage life enormously. Can you accept your chinese mother-in-law living with you for half a year and point the finger on your daily life? Can you accept your mother-in-law putting the food in her mouth first to test the temperature and then feed your kids? Can you accept your father-in-law smoking in the house before the kids? Can you accept your chinese wife badmouth your friends and be negative to the other people? Can you accept your chinese wife forcing you to turn on your most income and deposit into her account?
My Chinese in-laws don't do any of these things. Nor does my wife, who has studied abroad and now works for an multinational company here in in China. And who is very beautiful.
Can I accept idiotic Chinese men spreading stereotypes about foreigners and their wives? Yes I can, because I realise that it's only a minority of closed-minded idiots that hold such views.
USChina, you need to find the thread that talks about how hard it is to make friends with Chinese men, and reflect on why that is.
Oh, and PS, thanks for lecturing us on what marriage is. That wasn't condescending at all. Asshole.
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What an interesting discussion guys, thanks a lot. bfbfbfbfbf I know it is hard not to generalize because I know that some of you are lucky enough to have found really nice wives and hubbies who are Asian. I was really just wondering what your observations were in general. For example, I really can't say that my marriage to my Aussie husband was typical of the majority of anglo marriages. We are seeing our divorce rates climb and people who have had three or more marriages whilst they are still at child bearing age. It is not at all unusual now to see children in a family where one of the parents is not the biological parent; I have seen cases of four different biological fathers and many cases of at least two. It saddens me to see so many people who no longer feel the need to marry, but rather just live together, produce a child/children and move on to the next person. Yeah, I know that times are changing but these situations are just some of my observations.
uschina2012 has raised some interesting observations and I thank him for that. One of the main things I like about the Saloon is the fact that we can be honest in our opinions and our cultural differences can be seen and heard. Thank goodness we don't all think alike otherwise things would be very boring. agagagagag
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A report recently came out showing that 1 in 12 marriages in the USA are interracial. The numerically largest group was whites and Hispanics, but the group with the largest growth was Asian women and white men.
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Granny Mae: her... acacacacac
El Marco: I do not possess an ivy league degree. just study in a school located in Lin's hometown.
Raoul: You are right. That's why I came here to find the answer.
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Well there's also that trend that some of us foreign guys participate in: Finding supple, willing young Chinese men, taking them to our apartment and making sweet, sweet love to them. There are a lot more takers than people would imagine, aren't there, EL?
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Escaped Lunatic: do wish you and your wife have a happy marriage life for eternity. May I see your beloved wife's photo?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/GeneralLunaticAndFamily2.jpg)
Me, my lovely wife ajajajajaj, and our perfect daughter. ajajajajaj
A report recently came out showing that 1 in 12 marriages in the USA are interracial. The numerically largest group was whites and Hispanics, but the group with the largest growth was Asian women and white men.
Oddly enough, when I was a kid, hispanics were considered to be white people of Spanish descent. Personally, I think those of us of Scottish Lowlands descent need to have special protections since the damned Highlanders steal all the attention. asasasasas
Overall, I think that once people finally get over racial issues, in a few generations we'll all get blended together and will need to find new reasons to hate total strangers. I vote we start by hating people from Denmark. ahahahahah
Well there's also that trend that some of us foreign guys participate in: Finding supple, willing young Chinese men, taking them to our apartment and making sweet, sweet love to them. There are a lot more takers than people would imagine, aren't there, EL?
Yes there are. I saw a police report listing Zero as the number one perpetrator of these perverted acts. ahahahahah
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Me, my lovely wife , and our perfect daughter.
Definitely an ugly, lower class women, who couldn't find one of her countrymen willing to marry her! Right, uschina??
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Well there's also that trend that some of us foreign guys participate in: Finding supple, willing young Chinese men, taking them to our apartment and making sweet, sweet love to them. There are a lot more takers than people would imagine, aren't there, EL?
Nice!
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Escaped Lunatic: highly appreciate your posted photo. Definitely your wife is pretty and looking young for her age. you have a cute daughter. Glad you found your Mrs. Right.
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Uschina2012, I'm not sure I see the point of some of your arguments.
Yes, there are people and families who prefer to date and marry inside their own ethnic or other groups. There are some white guys who only want to date blondes or redheads. Personally, although I greatly admire femininity in all colors, I adore Chinese girls above all others (thus, this thread). People are allowed to have personal preferences. Of the men I'm aware of who've married Chinese girls, only a modest number found out that they'd been suckered for a green card. One of my family members married a Mexican girl a couple years back. The thought that his new wife was in it for a green card did cross my mind, but it looks like that's not the case. He's already looking into moving to Mexico.
Yes, there are gold diggers in China. Then again, there are gold diggers in all countries. In all my dealings with girls here, I've only encountered one was obviously after me for my wallet and/or a green card. On the other hand, I'm very close friends with a large number of amazing Chinese girls who would be happy to hook up with a Chinese or foreign guy as long as he truly loved her and she truly loved him. Some have limited educations, others have advanced degrees. Some have terrible jobs and some are doing very well for themselves. I have complete faith that none of them are hunting a husband for a green card or money.
Shear populations numbers means that China has more of everything. More bad people, and more good people.
Sometimes, I think people find what they are expecting. If you expect to find mostly gold diggers and green card girls, that's what you'll likely find the most of. If you expect to find girls who truly can be described as Celestial Daughters, then, like me, you'll be a happier person.
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Escaped Lunatic: Sighs... Chinese women are much much smarter than what you thought. If you can read Chinese, go to some popular chinese forums in US and figure them out. Most chinese women who married to caucasians posted their stories and their inner thoughts there. Anyway, you are a very nice decent gentleman. Your wife is lucky to have you as her life partner. JiaYou!
To others: if my comments here made you upset, I apologize. I had no intention to educate and hurt you guys. I believe you are smart enough to pick the right person. Good luck!
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I never questioned the intelligence of Chinese women. I've always been very impressed by the intelligence of my friends in China. I've also been even more impressed by their loyalty and honesty. The trust goes 2 ways. More than once I've loaned significant amounts to one of my closest friends, even during the time while I was living back in the US. She always pays me back.
I'm painfully aware of the forums where less-than-honest gold diggers and green card girls plot how to lure and trap some silly foreigner who thinks with the wrong head. kkkkkkkkkk I'll wager that they represent a tiny minority of Chinese girls who married foreigners. I'll take a wild guess that the average girl in those forums (either already in the USA or looking for a way to get there) isn't from a wealthy family and probably doesn't have a PhD.
So what? Every country has its share of green card girls and/or gold diggers. Most of them aren't from the top of the socioeconomic or education ladder, and I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't forums for them to share strategies in. I don't think I'm going too far out on a limb to say that people anywhere who don't have a secure future are statistically more likely to consider resorting to bad deeds to improve their lot in life than those who have no financial or employment worries.
I am very happy to report that not one of the poorest and least educated of the Chinese girls I'm friends with never once propositioned me for a shot at a green card or to wrap her hands around my great big American . . . wallet. (Not that I'd have objected if any one of them wanted to wrap her hands around something else in my pants. afafafafaf) Instead, they've all remained loyal friends through any number of strange situations in my life.
I'm not about to judge the delightful Chinese girls I know by the bad standards set by a small percentage of conniving girls that you are referring to. I'm also not going to select the worst possible examples of Chinese males and then lump my male friends into that category. I'm happy that my Chinese friends (male and female) don't judge me by the same standards that they would apply to some geriatric foreigner dating Chinese teenagers.
Of course, you might still think I'm just a silly foreign sheep who doesn't know he's about to be sheered and then slaughtered. That's not too likely to happen. Even before my wife and I were officially dating, I made 2 things clear. 1. My income is of a comfortable level, but does not qualify me as rich by Chinese standards (and is much farther from US standards of being rich). 2. China is now my home. Visiting the USA on rare occasion is an option, but I'm never ever moving back there. If there's anyone in the relationship looking for a green card, it's me. ahahahahah
Note to guys (foreign and Chinese, in China or anywhere else in the world): You can vastly improve your odds of meeting the right girl by developing friendships with open and honest girls. I met the lovely girl I would marry through a former student who is also a very dear friend of mine. Cruising bars may work for finding a girl for fun, but includes a much higher chance of getting a girl who wants you for your wallet, citizenship, or kidneys. aqaqaqaqaq
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Escaped Lunatic: do wish you and your wife have a happy marriage life for eternity. May I see your beloved wife's photo?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/GeneralLunaticAndFamily2.jpg)
Me, my lovely wife ajajajajaj, and our perfect daughter. ajajajajaj
From left to right? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY?!
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bkbkbkbkbk ahahahahah ahahahahah
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bahahaha. This. Is. China, mate.
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I agree with uschina2012
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People are using each other? Not news.
I know of Chinese women who have engaged in some truly vile scams. Not sure that kind of "smart" is anything to be proud about. These guys are usually older and willfully ignorant as to Chinese culture. I knew of one woman who was feeding her foreign husband lots of red meat every day in hopes he would die and she would get his life insurance money.
Of course, I've seen a lot of foreign guys act in a vile fashion, too. And not all Chinese women are so smart, unfortunately. There was the one young Chinese woman who posted on a popular Shanghai website: "I slept with a foreign guy and now he won't answer my calls or texts. Why are foreign guys all so bad?? This is the ninth time this has happened to me!"
If you've been around China and Chinese people long enough, the scammers are usually pretty obvious. If you understand Mandarin, even better; the details come out before long.
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I agree with uschina2012
I do too, although I think he overstates the point.
Personally I'm happy my bird is normal. Once I've taken her to the Prada shop to get a handbag, Manolo for some shoes, chanel for some makeup and to an expensive restaurant for a meal, she doesn't moan at all for at least 30mins.
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I don't think I'm going too far out on a limb to say that people anywhere who don't have a secure future are statistically more likely to consider resorting to bad deeds to improve their lot in life than those who have no financial or employment worries.
In the early days when what were known as "Philippino Brides" started "pouring" into Australia, most folk could see that certain types of men were being exploited. I must admit to having no tolerance of this behavior. I then went to the Philippines and had so many experiences including being captured by the rebels and locked in a compound, that I was forced to open my mind. I saw magnificent churches with people sleeping in cardboard boxes outside and people who had been maimed to facilitate street begging. I went through President Marcos' palace and saw the disgusting opulence and saw poor people giving money to help them. There is a lot more that I could tell but you will get my drift. Do I like this type of behavior? NO! but I now understand it. I made the statement at the time, that I would have married Satan himself to escape such conditions.
EL, I love that photo of you and your darlings. bfbfbfbfbf
Zero, I was recently told of a case where an Asian lady got her girlfriend to beat her up. The lady then went to the police and got a restraining order against the anglo husband and then had the door locks changed on his/their house. bibibibibi If it is true, this type of behavior really sh*ts me off! The thing I'm not learning much about is what about Anglo women and Asian males?
Nolefan thanks very much for your input about the tantrums of some Chinese ladies. It helps explain some of the behavior that I have seen. bfbfbfbfbf
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Zero, I was recently told of a case where an Asian lady got her girlfriend to beat her up. The lady then went to the police and got a restraining order against the anglo husband and then had the door locks changed on his/their house. bibibibibi If it is true, this type of behavior really sh*ts me off!
Sadly, I don't think that sort of behavior is confined to immigrant brides.
On the flip side, one of the excuses the US used for cracking down on what used to be an automatic green card for foreign spouses was the fact that some bastards would marry some cute little girl from the countryside, take her back to the USA, and then abuse her like a slave. If she threatened to tell, these guys would threaten divorce, followed by immediate deportation. Evidently a few would divorce their wives just before they would qualify for post-divorce residence and then go find a new wife/victim.
I'm sure that some of those girls went back to their countries and reported that all or nearly all American men who had foreign wives did this. I'm also sure that this sort of thing was only a small minority. From my own experiences dealing with Chinese girls, I'm sure that the solid majority who would marry a foreigner are upright and honest and would be horrified to see themselves stigmatized by the bad ones.
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I think another reason why Chinese girls/women may prefer a foreigner is that they tend to be a little more affectionate/romantic. Chinese men do not tend to be very romantic. I think the younger generation is starting to change but the average Chinese man will not say "I love you" (believe me, me and the ex had many a fight over that one).
It's hard not to become a tad jaded here especially as a western woman. Almost every relationship I see is between a foreign man and Chinese woman but after they get married, I don't tend to see too many happy ones (please guys, I do see a few and I'm not saying they don't exist).
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Foreign men say "I love you"? mmmmmmmmmm
I just say "Make me a sandwich". It means the same thing.
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I was recently told of a case where an Asian lady got her girlfriend to beat her up. The lady then went to the police and got a restraining order against the anglo husband and then had the door locks changed on his/their house. th_bi If it is true, this type of behavior really sh*ts me off!
This sh*t is alarmingly common throughout the U.S. and, from what I've heard, the UK too, so I'm not surprised if it happens in Australia, too. Apparently they all have very similar family/domestic law and very similar agencies to deal with it.
One one hand, these countries do more to protect women and children than a lot of less developed countries do. On the other hand, the systems are easily abused by manipulative, self-interested people -- both locals and immigrants alike. Even at their best, the agencies are run by bureaucrats. And yes, women do seem to have an easier time getting a "fair" shake in any of these systems, both because of the structure of the systems and the sympathy factor.
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EL, I agree that this type of behavior is not confined to immigrant brides; I'm just amazed at how quickly some appear to work out the system. alalalalal Also in line with what you said, a Philippino (bride) neighbor was apparently stabbed by her anglo Aussie husband and I saw the scars. I don't know the full story, but it appears that this bloke got sick of her and wanted to get a new lady. A fight ensued, he set fire to the house and he was killed. She is very happy now living on her own in her repaired house plus she now owns two other houses. aoaoaoaoao
It's hard not to become a tad jaded here especially as a western woman. Almost every relationship I see is between a foreign man and Chinese woman
Thanks for that input babala! That is my observation here in Australia. I still can't seem to find out the reason. I can hazard some guesses based on my own observations and my knowledge of men and women. I was observing behavior at "the den" yesterday. I saw plenty of Anglo males ogling young Asian girls but not one Asian male turned to look at an Anglo girl and vice versa. Are there some Asian males out there who would comment? Perhaps some of the married ladies could ask their husband what he knows/thinks about this generally?
EL Macho, I am old and have a life of awesome stories to tell. Sometimes I wonder how I even survived my childhood let alone young adulthood. ahahahahah Can you imagine what might have happened to me in China had my heart condition not intervened and stopped my plans? I believe that growing up with my six brothers and their mates made me who I am; I could never back down otherwise I'd get a punch to the back of the head. ahahahahah I'll just continue to try to slip in the odd interesting story because unfortunately I can't contribute much about China having only visited there once. alalalalal
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I then went to the Philippines and had so many experiences including being captured by the rebels and locked in a compound, that I was forced to open my mind.
Granny, I think this deserves its own thread. What other awesome stories do you have?
Agreed! I'd love to hear this in a new thread...
I was recently told of a case where an Asian lady got her girlfriend to beat her up. The lady then went to the police and got a restraining order against the anglo husband and then had the door locks changed on his/their house. bibibibibi If it is true, this type of behavior really sh*ts me off!
This is VERY common...USA and Canada as well. There are websites in many different languages that tell women how to pull this off. asasasasas
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What a sad world we live in. Perhaps it is just as well that I don't really understand technology because my family are not here near me, to keep me updated. Websites that tell women how to pull stunts on their husbands? bibibibibi
Some of my stories are best left alone, for several reasons.
I am gaining the impression that I may never find out why it seems rare to see Asian males chasing anglo/foreign females and vice versa. Perhaps I will have to start asking questions at the "den of iniquity" (the Casino). If you happen to hear about an old anglo Aussie accosting Asian males, you will know who it is. bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah aoaoaoaoao ahahahahah
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I will attempt an answer to your long-unanswered question. I think that Asian guys like white women. But "face" is huge in Asia. Chasing a foreign female and getting coldly rejected is not something that the egos of most Chinese guys can withstand. And most white girls don't like Asian guys, so the odds of rejection are high. Even in the case of a girl not rejecting them, the guys know that pursuing a foreign girl is unfamiliar territory, new rules. Unfamiliar equals threatening, when we're putting the ego at risk as in romance. So the guys stick with what they know, the game they know how to play. They don't pursue foreign women.
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Thanks zero! bfbfbfbfbf I think that EL also said some of his male friends wouldn't mind an anglo lady. I would have expected to see some furtive glances at the Casino, but the guys seem oblivious; perhaps the lure of money is more important! bibibibibi To be honest, I speak to lots of Asian ladies, but few Asian males and a lot of them speak very poor English. I was pleasantly surprised yesterday at the "den". Apart from my having been ill, the air conditioning was too cold, so I was very cold. An Asian lady observed my distress and came and offered me her jumper. Until I left, she kept offering me cups of tea and coffee, which I don't drink and she even took off her jumper and tried to put it around my shoulders. I refused all offers and thanked her sincerely for her concern. I am still in a state of shock as were the anglos sitting near me. We are used to selfish behavior by Asians. I will make it my business to find out her country of origin. The icing on the cake was that this lady then went to a machine near me and played 40cents. She won $350 (Australian dollars)on the one spin. agagagagag Who said good deeds go unrewarded! ahahahahah ahahahahah
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I will attempt an answer to your long-unanswered question. I think that Asian guys like white women. But "face" is huge in Asia. Chasing a foreign female and getting coldly rejected is not something that the egos of most Chinese guys can withstand. And most white girls don't like Asian guys, so the odds of rejection are high. Even in the case of a girl not rejecting them, the guys know that pursuing a foreign girl is unfamiliar territory, new rules. Unfamiliar equals threatening, when we're putting the ego at risk as in romance. So the guys stick with what they know, the game they know how to play. They don't pursue foreign women.
I think that's true. It is also true that *most* (not all) Chinese women do not persue Western guys either. The guys, be they foreign or Chinese, are usually the ones doing the persuing. Gender roles are still fairly traditional here and it is unusual for a woman to make the first move. Not unheard of, but women here like for the man to take the lead. Chinese men are definitely reluctant to take the lead and persue Western women because we're an unknown quantity -- most Chinese guys have never even considered dating a foreigner, it is just really outside their realm of possibilities for most guys. I do think that if a Western girl shows interest most Chinese guys do not have any issue persuing her, but finding one that shows interest is not always easy.
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Thanks The Local Dialect! My observations are that the majority of males, even happily married ones, will take a look at an interesting lady; they can't seem to help themselves. That is not what I see with the Asian males I see here and I have taken particular notice. Whatever happened to basic instincts? I can understand this behavior in an Asian country, but when they have been in this country for a few years, surely they must see some interesting Anglos? I'm sure if you send an Anglo male to an Asian country, his neck and other things, will never be the same again. I can't imagine Asian men considering it rude to "perv" on a female because my observations are that Asians are VERY curious and very little appears to escape their attention. I am gaining the impression that the Asian male is waiting for the first move from the anglo lady. bibibibibi I am also gaining the impression that Anglo females are not that interested in Asian males. (what happened to the Bruce Lees of the world?) Gee I'd love to read some input from an Asian male! bfbfbfbfbf
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Granny, have you got yellow fever?
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I love dancing and when I first came to China I would always try to dance with different people at clubs. Most of the men in these places were literally terrified of me. I don't know if it was because I'm tall, intimidating, or just so good at dancing they would be upstaged. The only guy who wasn't afraid to dance with me spoke zero English.
My husband to be (in 2 weeks) has the rare combination of being fluent in English and loving to dance. He was very much the one pursuing me - to the point that it almost turned me off - but I'm certainly happy I gave him a chance. If he wouldn't have been so persistent, I don't know if things ultimately would've worked out because when we started dating he lived a four hour bus ride from where I was working.
And (as an Anglo female) I have to say he's very handsome akakakakak. Not because he's Asian, but because of his wonderful smile akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak
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I think that's true. It is also true that *most* (not all) Chinese women do not persue Western guys either. The guys, be they foreign or Chinese, are usually the ones doing the persuing. ...
My ex once told me her mother advised her: "Men are like busses. You don't worry if you miss one, and you never run after them, because you know there'll always be another one along." I think that probably holds in any culture.
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Granny, have you got yellow fever?
I must have!, you folk have just made me curious as have the folk at the Casino. ahahahahah
Thanks fullricebowl for your info. bfbfbfbfbf My husbands smile is what attracted me to him also. Hubby to be must have really cared about you to undergo 4hr bus rides. bfbfbfbfbf
Have you been a couple for long? To be really honest,it seems rare for an Asian male to pursue an anglo female. While the guys seem to like Asian women and appear to tolerate more than I would, I am wondering if you find any cultural differences could cause difficulties?
Pashley, I believe it holds true in any culture because of the way man has evolved as the hunter. I think the world is slowly changing now and women are becoming more assertive. Look out guys in a few hundred/thousand years!!!! uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah ahahahahah
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Have you been a couple for long? To be really honest,it seems rare for an Asian male to pursue an anglo female. While the guys seem to like Asian women and appear to tolerate more than I would, I am wondering if you find any cultural differences could cause difficulties?
We've been together about 3 years. When we first started dating, he really wanted to do everything for me- which conflicted with my own sense of independence. It really nice to have someone who is happy to help me with things when I want though. Our biggest disagreements have come from differing attitudes on the role of outside friendships- I think boys and girls are rarely platonic friends in China and striking a balance with this has been one of the more challenging things we've had to work through.
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If everybody would just keep the Anus Rule in mind, people would have a lot fewer problems ...
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Thanks fullricebowl! I think that I would find it hard to cope without my platonic relationships. I couldn't stand having to mainly have female friends. bibibibibi aoaoaoaoao
zero, pardon my ignorance, but I haven't heard of that rule. Perhaps it doesn't apply in the land down under? uuuuuuuuuu
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zero, pardon my ignorance, but I haven't heard of that rule. Perhaps it doesn't apply in the land down under? uuuuuuuuuu
oh I think it especially refers to the 'land down under', AKA the Netherlands.
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zero, pardon my ignorance, but I haven't heard of that rule. Perhaps it doesn't apply in the land down under? uuuuuuuuuu
I think it's something about Zero not being your friend until he's viewed your land down under.
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Is that the whole map or just tasmania?
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Probably just the map of Tasmania.
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zero, I just woke up what you were talking about. bibibibibi Just put it down to old age! bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah As a matter of interest, the Asian lady who offered me her jumper, is from Malaysia. She approached me at "the den" yesterday to ask if I had my coat. What an attractive and considerate lady! bfbfbfbfbf Yes zero, I think that you would if you got the chance! uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah
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Yes, I think there's a good chance I would ...
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Looks like we've run out of puff on this one. Perhaps I should look for more info on the internet, particularly about the Asian male/ anglo/foreigner female. I am almost computer illiterate, so has anyone got any ideas on where to look?
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Not sure if this is the kind of research you have in mind Granny Mae, but this site has some good background:
Speaking of China
One Western woman with a Chinese husband writes about love, family and relationships in China 洋媳妇看中国
http://www.speakingofchina.com/
Her posts include:
http://www.speakingofchina.com/china-articles/2012-blogs-by-western-women-who-love-chinese-men/
http://www.speakingofchina.com/china-articles/foreign-women-chinese-boyfriend-chinese-husband/
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Thanks xwarrior this looks interesting. When I've looked through it properly, I'll post a comment or two or three. bfbfbfbfbf
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xwarrior, I've had the chance to read some of the comments and they are really interesting. bfbfbfbfbf I'm really interested in the Asian male's perspective. I'm going to make it my business to strike up a conversation with an Asian male and see where I can lead the discussion. uuuuuuuuuu
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Wish you good luck, Granny Mae! Just try to remember that men are not just sex objects with big chests - xxxxxxxxxx
Ancient xwarrior proverb:
If you make a friend in the Chinese community it will not be long before you become part of that community. bjbjbjbjbj
agagagagag
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I'm not interested in Asian males as sex objects. The cultural differences would be too much for me and for them I think. ahahahahah ahahahahah
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I'm not interested in Asian males as sex objects. The cultural differences would be too much for me and for them I think. ahahahahah ahahahahah
If it's just sex, turn out the lights and neither color nor culture will matter. afafafafaf
Personally, I enjoy the cultural differences. Also, although I must confess to finding Chinese girls highly . . . desirable, I also find them incredibly lovely just to sit back and watch. It's like my city is the world's largest museum and I've got millions of living, breathing Mona Lisa's wandering around.
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EL, you guys are lucky judging by the photos I've seen. bfbfbfbfbf I've also seen some lovely Asian ladies here, but to be honest, I've never seen an Asian guy here, who turned my head. I suppose to be fair, there are not too many anglos that I'd turn around to look at either even though other ladies may do so. alalalalal Looks like I'll just have to go to the movies and "drool" over Johnny Depp in "The Rum Diary"! Saw "Gone with the wind" (4 hours) yesterday, but Clark Gable didn't do much for me either. bibibibibi
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Ummm. . . Granny Mae, . . . how to phrase this??? You don't find too many guys attractive, but do notice the attractive girls. Have you ever considered that if your upbringing had been a bit less conservative that you might love Chinese girls as much as I do? mmmmmmmmmm
Now I'll run away and hide before Granny Mae finds where she left her gun. :wtf:
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No need to hide EL! Guess I left myself wide open for that one. ahahahahah ahahahahah Must be getting slow in my old age. bfbfbfbfbf bgbgbgbgbg Perhaps there's a lesson here for the guys.... Do something about your appearance to make the ladies notice you. afafafafaf You have to admit that the girls go to a lot of trouble with their makeup,hair and clothes. agagagagag