The Rapture

As you may know, today, May 21, is going to be The Rapture.


http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/

I've got to admit, I can't find a hole in their logic, so it looks like this is it.

If you're still here, well, maybe you shouldn't have made that comment on the Outstanding T Shirt thread, but let's not dwell on that.

Don't panic. Total global destruction isn't until October 21st.

They're also calling it Judgement Day, so if, as well as the predicted earthquake, Skynet takes over, we may have to broaden our understanding of Biblical canon.

Anyway, how was the rapture for you? Any new openings at your Uni? Has it turned out that the colleague that claimed they were just sleeping with their students was actually shamefully doing the Lord's work and holding prayer meetings? A bit insulted that they asked you to give the sermon at this coming Sunday's Church service?

Judgment Day!May 21, 2011

I thought Judgement Day was yesterday! 

Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.

Judgment Day!May 21, 2011

I thought Judgement Day was yesterday! 

Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.

Look, God underestimated their Maths ability. They're clever people, and they outsmarted him. God's better at subjects like History (he has an almost autistic knowledge of when all the Monarchs of England were born) and Music. Lady Gaga's basically ripping off stuff from Jesus' eponymous debut album.

The Christians are better at stuff like Maths, Biology and Religious Studies. He thought that they wouldn't be able to figure the date out, but He was wrong. I just hope that he doesn't postpone Judgement Day out of petulance. That would be so like Him.

To celebrate the coming apocalypse, I'm going to have a stoop sale tomorrow. Then I'm going to crack open a bottle of Dogfish Head Hellhound--a beer that celebrates the 100th birthday of Robert Johnson, the man who sold his soul to the devil so he could play guitar.

[Edited to add] Just discovered @RaptureHelpDesk on Twitter...it's funnier than the Bronx Zoo Cobra last month. Some good posts:

"Of you are wondering WWJD, he will be around to answer those questions in a timely matter tomorrow between 12pm-3pm EST"

"If you wonder what the #RAPTURE will look like tomorrow... remember that scene in Porky's Revenge when they march out the naked old people?"

Matthew 24:35-35
Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.


So, Jesus himself says that ONLY God the Father has the information, but so many "bright" people have calculated it over and over again.

So, if no angel can figure it out and Jesus himself can't figure it out, I'll put people who claim to know when such an event will happen into 2 categories:

1.  Deluded people.
2.  People who want to make fame and/or money from making the claim.


Look up "88 Reasons Why the Rapture will be in 1988".

Then again, maybe it was in 1988 and we all missed it.

If we survive the rapture (or is it get claimed by GOD?), then, we can look forward to 2012. That's when the Mayans predicted the end of the world. Since they are no longer here, I would believe them over the Christians. Besides, how many times have the Christians been wrong as opposed to the Mayans? This would also make for a great conspiracy theory, wouldn't it?

 

However, New Zealand Skeptic Society media spokeswoman Vicky Hyde told NZPA she was confident of waking up tomorrow with the world unchanged.

''These kind of predictions come up particularly in times of economic or social uncertainty - which is pretty much almost every year actually, you can track them, whether it's commentary impacts or the rapture or giant space aliens or something. And the only thing they have in common is they are all wrong.''

........ Hyde said she was ''confident'' Camping's prediction was completely wrong.

''I've lived through so many ends of the world even in my relatively short lifetime.''

I just want to know if I should keep working on this assignment or go eat the tub of Honey Nougat icecream in my freezer and wait for the end...

Casandra, eat the ice cream. No one should be raptured on an empty stomach!   

well it didn't happen

to be honest i wouldn't be that bothered if the world ended, it sucks

Ripping off Kieran Healy's tweet; if there's any disappointed Christians amongst us, Cheer Up, It's not the end of the world.

Got to admit, I've been out all day, and I did have a quick check on whether there's been any major earthquakes.

However, the idea that the Rapture would be rolled out at 6pm in each time zone would have been a bit of a tip off for those in the West.

I was sitting on my balcony wearing flame-resistant clothing and holding onto a fire extinguisher, and nothing happened. Disappointment, thy name is 2011.5.21. I'd even bought a bamboo harp, just to be on the safe side. 

maybe it did happen but noone got taken up cos we are all sinners

Maybe the only people called to be at some god's side are the people that we wouldn't miss anyway.

Guess I am not among the chosen.