This week's avatar: alternate headings

Gaaaaahhhh... the longer I'm out of China, the better that girl looks.

I don't like to visit the States.

But...but...that 'Double Down' sandwichoid at KFC is mighty fine, and McDonald's just brought back the McRib!!!

No, seriously though... Fine. Stay up there in your frozen tundra, sliding your various-sized lumps around on the ice and getting down-and-funky to your Celine Dion and Bryan Adams albums. It's not like we really want any more of you Frostbacks running around down here, staring luridly at our women and being all polite and decent and self-effacing, anyway.

I mean, sure, our Border Nazis Customs Agents are rude to YOU. Who wouldn't be? And naturally  we irradiate you as you slip across our borders. We're just trying to keep your numbers down, and this seems more humane than simply shooting you. Besides, how do we know one of your extremist fanatics of the Great Prophet Tim Horton (May Peace and Blessings Be Unto Him) isn't concealing a payload of Poutine in his underwear, ready to blow himself and his surroundings up at any time?

Why, they tell me that Southern California is just CRAWLING  with youse Maple Niggers these days.
Can't imagine why.

Frankly, I am appalled and embarrassed to have to admit that such an enormous proportion of my closest and dearest friends come from such an awful place.

P.S.: I do make one sole exception for Joni Mitchell, whose children I still hope to bear one day.



P.P.S.:

ah there now you have shattered ALL my illusions about the Middle Kingdom. I was led to believe that all the maidens are very very nubile, and that anything over 38 is XXXL
anyway I think it's wonderful that she is so comfortable in her body to wear whatever she likes -NOT
 

Enough mutterings about minced moosemeat. Just for Piglet:

What's that Led Zeppelin song? Oh yea, "Whole Lotta Love"

Okay, I'm gonna go all "feminist" on this one. Are we going to make fun of a few beautiful, yet playful fat girls? Really? i mean, i get the last pic, it was about the horrible fashion sense of the girl, not the fact that she was fat necessarily (in a normal shirt she would look quite normal) but this picture is cute, and nice and you are only picking on them because they are fat, which I think is a bit too much. 

Okay, I'm gonna go all "feminist" on this one. Are we going to make fun of a few beautiful, yet playful fat girls? Really? i mean, i get the last pic, it was about the horrible fashion sense of the girl, not the fact that she was fat necessarily (in a normal shirt she would look quite normal) but this picture is cute, and nice and you are only picking on them because they are fat, which I think is a bit too much. 

I agree.


Can you imagine how big they were before their wedding dress diet?

Holy Hindenburg Batman!

I would do them all.

Fat bottomed girls, you make my rocking world go round!

(I have GOT to get out of here.    4 days to go.)

If you think we're big, you should see our husbands

If you think we're big, you should see our husbands

Look closer, they're standing on their shoulders in the pic.

Uh, Borky...

I'm decidedly a Family Economy Size meself. I really wouldn't stoop to what you're accusing me of.

Generally, the only people I pick on and make fun of are Foreigners (ie non-Americans).

That picture, rather playfully I hope, DOES illustrate the costs and impacts of the changes undergone by a newly world-interactive China. This photo would have been impossible to take in China 20 or 30 years ago.

And it IS a cute photo.

I'm obviously somewhat pickier than some of our other male members...OK, MOST of our other male members, especially EL, who had to leave China after being arrested several times  for running through the streets of town naked from the waist down chasing after stray farm animals... but hey, I'd do some of those girls, too.

"The Octuplet's big day"

Oh...and I really don't think those raised fists are wanking motions.

I suspect they're samples of what their husbands can expect if they don't hand over those damn paychecks snappy-like.



Actually, I suspect this photo is probably staged and those are not brides at all.
Think about it...even in today's post-Chairman Mao, post-Colonel Sanders China, what are the odds of finding all those women getting married at about the same time?

That said, none of the heavier ladies I observed in China ever seemed to be having any problems with their love lives. I definitely don't question the weddings, just the timing.

Think about it...even in today's post-Chairman Mao, post-Colonel Sanders China, what are the odds of finding all those women getting married at about the same time?

Many cities now have these large (no pun intended) group weddings these days ala the Reverend Sun Moon, without the religious aspect.
Dahongyin (Big Red Eagle) CIgarette Company promotes them from time to time when hundreds of couples will get married on the same day at the same place for advertising purposes. Post-modern Mao indeed!

EDIT: For example, here:
http://is.gd/hzVuv