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"The world scrambles to train in new Olympic gymnastics events"
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Con ate,I think this will become a permanent thread.
Showed this to my wife and her cousin today. My wife didn't say anything. She went into the next room and came back with a pair of giant-size clothespins, pointed them at me and said, "Your turn"
-
"Look Ma, no hands!"
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Con ate,I think this will become a permanent thread.
Showed this to my wife and her cousin today. My wife didn't say anything. She went into the next room and came back with a pair of giant-size clothespins, pointed them at me and said, "Your turn"
Sounds like your wife and mine could be related ( in mischief... )
-
Floating in the air like bricks don't aliens from the planet Tile, previously frustrated in their attempts to make contact with primary household structures sought communication one day with the mammals. They happened upon Chinese Gong Fu master Chen Xi'r T'les.
Owing to superior attunement to his environment and a grave sense of his responsibility to society, when Chen noticed two bricks floating beside him he whirled around and called out a warning to the crowd of people who like Chen had been engaged in respectful observance of Solemn Red Pants Day. "Look out! Stand back!" Chen called.
The aliens looked at one another, and smirked. The bricks were heard to yell "Nipple cripple," just before they attacked.
"Oh," Chen said.
The aliens are known for their steadfast support of the One China policy.
-
Or...
"And this is just with my shirt off!"
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"Don't worry, folks, the only other choice they gave me was to sit in a padded room with no food or water or sleep and have a tape consisting of "Yesterday Once More", Backstreet Boys and Kenny G on a perpetual loop. This is like heaven compared with that."
-
Aghh! I knew it! The ant on the left brick is messing up the balance asasasasas
-
China Daily News
An Lee releases still shot of his new action movie
Faster than a speeding silkworm, able to leap large pools of phlegm in a single bound
"Look, up into the construction site"
"It's a turd", "It's a crane"
"No it's Brick-man"
-
"And you thought twirling pastie-tassels was hard...!!.."
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"I knew the sex change operation would be tough, but I never imagined that this how the breast augmentation would be done!"
-
bkbkbkbkbk Ouch!
-
(kinda on topic) Love your new avatar Shroomy.
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"Brickie's and Labourer's Union? Shen me?"
-
Geez, makes my qualms about moving to China to teach English seem kind of trivial... Is this guy a teaching a "foundation" course? (I have heard they are to be avoided.)
-
The life of a construction worker in China is not an easy one!! This is the usual way of tossing the bricks up to the top of the building. Centrifugal force.
yeah - English teaching is a doddle after watching some of the other jobs available in China.
-
Just wait until you see where I next hang these two bricks!
-
bkbkbkbkbk
Again - ouch!!
-
Just wait until you see where I next hang these two bricks!
Ouch...
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Granny Mae, I wish I'd thought of that one myself. Here's to ya! agagagagag bfbfbfbfbf bkbkbkbkbk
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"So I go's to one-a them fancy schmancy places in LA and the guy sez: 5 thousand bucks for a boob job. 5,000 bucks!!! I says. Screw that. I'll do it myself for free with a string and two bricks. I aint stupid!"
-
The things you gotta do for a construction site job these days.... :P
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"Are you SURE this is an Olympic event?"
-
The brick-shaped ships from Rigel 7 set their phasers to "purple nurple".
-
Bai Jiu + A Construction site = Extreme Nipple Piercing
-
You wanna peirce my.... I'm outta here.
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"Are you sure this is what the Doctor said will cure my sinusitis?"
-
Native American saying, "Chinese man speak with forked tongue!!"
-
It's the latest Hollywood diet craze, you never actually let the food into your stomach.
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What's the matter? Was it something I said?
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What on earth did I do last night?
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"Cho-stis? Arh me la-er, k? Gogh suh-ing a do."
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"it's the cold, normally it comes out as fluid!"
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Dental floss no good; gets stuck in back of throat!
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Next time, Mom, lay your eggs in the ground.
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Regarding pictured:
"So, this is why the Chinese spit so much and pick their nose in public.
They've got snakes in there!!!"
[attachment removed for space reason by admin]
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we have a photo that doesn't make me go "YECCH" whenever I open/refresh/check/post etc to the forum???
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I think that goes against Raoul's purpose in life. ahahahahah
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Yeah - I know - but just look at the people we are turning away because of it! aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
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Oh, come on, seeing a man pull a snake out his nostril is exactly the kind of spectacle members here should be accostumed to. I mean, have you seen the stuff Stil does under the table?
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........seeing a man pull a snake out his nostril.......
bibibibibi And here I thought he was pulling out an excessive amount of nose-hair (a la Guinness Book of Records) cbcbcbcbcb
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Poor snake. bibibibibi
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Poor snake. bibibibibi
Reminds me of a story I used to tell about my first wife. No, I think I'll stay on topic just this once.
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Some men just never get over losing their virility.
-
Thank Goodness for OdorEaters tm
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Cinderella Rides.
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Quarter finalist, Lamest Sexual Fetish Ever contest.
-
Finally!! Shoes big enough for Con's feet!
But maybe in a different colour...to match his qipao?? (Oh. Wait a minute. That's Stil's problem!) Sorry. My bad.
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Okay team, we're almost at the border. Everyone put your heads down, and if anyone asks why we're crossing, I want one person to speak and only one. Do you know your line?
"We're just looking for our other shoe. We believe she's in Macau"
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"I'm telling you man that this isn't what she meant when she said she wanted a really big pump!"
-
Finally!! Shoes big enough for Con's feet!
Maybe so, but I only wear open-toed.
-
Psst, What's that smell?
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Hmmmm! wonder how I can get this thing into position behind the mother in law? uuuuuuuuuu
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Once again I think Granny Mae has hit the nail on the head. bfbfbfbfbf
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Honourable Doctor Man gave me brand new iron ribcage!!
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The most attractive man in China!
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It's 10 Kuai for the lot.
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I wish they'd close that battery factory upstream. It's not the cancer I mind so much as the damn magnetism.
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I don't care how much you'd pay for the photo I'm not having a naked woman sitting on my head as well!
-
Apprentice Chick Magnet
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Welcome to Gamma Gamma Gamma MaxiMinimus Sorority.
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Isn't it HOOTERS Ad?
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Yup. Has anybody ever been?
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Isn't it HOOTERS Ad?
It may well be....but aren't we supposed to come up with an "Alternate Heading" for it??
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Yup. Has anybody ever been?
Don't need to go. My "knockers" are way nicer than theirs!! ahahahahah bpbpbpbpbp
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Totally would hate to put the girls to shame.
agagagagag
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I think only five of us want "peace";the rest will take whatever or whoever is available! afafafafaf
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....a peace/piece on the side?.....
-
give 'piece' a chance
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My friends didnt like the food there.
*Come and ye shall be hooted*
-
Knock, knock.
- Whoooo's there?
My child's tuition is coming due.
- My child's tuition is coming due whoooo?
Welcome! You very handsome! Smoking or non-?
-
Raoul's new teaching job provided him with an even warmer welcome than he had anticipated.
-
"Our staff are all open girls who like foreigners very much"
Ef recruitment poster.
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"Our staff are all open girls who like foreigners very much"
Ef recruitment poster.
ararararar Whoring out their staff!? ahahahahah
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Give a guy a break. Waldo gotta go where Corporate send him.
-
ahahahahah I concede.
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Did I get the wrong sign for "peace" AMonk? I think its a victory sign as well. Granny knows what the signal means when the hand is turned the other way uuuuuuuuuu
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Did I get the wrong sign for "peace" AMonk? I think its a victory sign as well. Granny knows what the signal means when the hand is turned the other way uuuuuuuuuu
I was being a smart-ass.
If you give the "peace" (victory) sign, then stick out your little finger as well, then you have "Peace (piece) -- with a lttle bit on the side" afafafafaf After all, these girls are Hooters!!
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Thanks for clearing that up AMonk bfbfbfbfbf Granny was wondering if it was just another sign that her wheels were falling off ahahahahah
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I like looking at bimbos as much as the next guy, but can we put up a new pic now? three weeks later... avavavavav
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Yes, plus it's another 'bit uncomfortable when constantly faced with it in the office' type pic :D
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There definitely seems to be a male orientation to the photo selection. Either gross or bimbo'd. Send in our yummy Chippendales. When you check the posting rates - women are equally represented int eh top 20 posters. Eye candy for us is GOOD!
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HK ain't even stylish enough to have a Hooters... I miss Beijing.
asasasasas
I think I will drink beer tonight then!
jjjjjjjjjj
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Lotus, doesn't the Saloon have enough eye candy for you to ogle at?
-
If you boys wanna get your centerfold pics organized, we ladies would be more than happy to ogle uuuuuuuuuu You could do a Mr. Month type thing...so, who's going to be Mr. March??? Since we're in China, a themed approach would be good...Mr. March posing with nothing but his chopsticks, Mr. April holding a strategically placed hong bao, Mr. May carefully perched atop his bicycle...
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Now we're back to George and the dance of the seven feathers? Boss, have we enrolled any beefcake members lately? I know. cbcbcbcbcb
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There definitely seems to be a male orientation to the photo selection. Either gross or bimbo'd. Send in our yummy Chippendales. When you check the posting rates - women are equally represented int eh top 20 posters. Eye candy for us is GOOD!
The chick pics don't show nipples... or, um, details. Ours are tasteful.
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Totally dependent on your taste.
Mine doesn't run to the pics to date. Maybe ... there must be something wrong with me... what could it be...oh... maybe I'm FEMALE! aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao bibibibibi
Although I am not too keen on photos of George doing the dance of the seven feathers either. A conundrum.
-
But have you ever considered that we men would be offended to be just used, treated as mere objects, like slabs of meat at display at the butchers, completely objectified to lend some material to the raunchy fantasies most ladies protest they don't have? Because of you did.....
You would be dead wrong. Why would any man be averse to that? What was it you requested...oiled up and riding a bicycle... agagagagag agagagagag
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And you make it sound like guys touch themselves to photos of men with snakes up their noses.
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How??? I meant that men do not, as a rule, mind being objectified by members of the fairer sex.
-
I think Con was replying to Lotus.
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There definitely seems to be a male orientation to the photo selection. Either gross or bimbo'd.
Please. ::)
Although I could definitely use more "Weird Asia" pics to put up there. If ya got 'em, e-mail 'em to me... spamjiaozi@yahoo.com
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" asasasasas Tourists want a 'gen-yoo-wine soo-vin-ear' do they?!? Let them suck on this for a while..."
OR
Gets my seal of approval...
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There definitely seems to be a male orientation to the photo selection. Either gross or bimbo'd.
So far, only one bimbo pic. We need more! One "gross" pic, enough for a month or two. One "bizarre" pic of a magnetic man. Attractive, in a strange way! Surely, a wide enough selection to entertain a duality of the sexes? A sense of humour is generally required to view these pcs.
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Magnet man comes under 'weird Asia'. Nose man - gross, Santa - gross, Hooters chicks - boring (NOT weird Asia) and bimbo'd. This one 'weird Asia - but no weirder than Seaworlds anywhere else on the planet.
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Chinese writing made easy.
Love this one. It is the best one yet. agagagagag agagagagag
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Perhaps if I tried writing with my teeth...
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recent graduate of Nolefan's English Boot Camp
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bkbkbkbkbk If only I'd had time off from EF to attend I could be doing that well.
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Can I be a pedant here and say that the correct title should be 'alternative headings', not 'alternate'.
This is quite a bugbear of mine about american english. If someone lived, for instance, 'alternate lifestyles', it would mean that they lived one lifestyle one week, then the other lifestyle the other week, then the other, and so on.
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bkbkbkbkbk If only I'd had time off from EF to attend I could be doing that well.
Not quite...
The bootcamp technique also doesn't require the use of your hands, but you would be looking over your shoulder at the page.
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Increasingly despondent as the end of his performing days drew near, Charlie the angriest circus seal took to zen koan to find peace.
"But how is it useful in our daily lives?" asked one reporter.
"Don't test me, man," Charlie snarled.
"But come on, Charlie! Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?"
If only they would have listened.
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bkbkbkbkbk I was going to add something cute, but now I won't bother.
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A Sea World escapee makes some foreigners look stupid.
And I bet it's English penmanship is better than mine.
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Pass? Of course I’ll pass, my parents are loaded!
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LE, I wasn't crazy about the bimbos either, but then at my age I've seen enough hooters without going to the bar. Brick-swingng, magneto and nose-snake all struck me as "weird-Asia", and if the last was a bit gross (well more than a bit), I didn't think of it as a "guys' only" pic. Not all guys are going to see things the same way. Possibly not all women either. In short, I think the variety of responses to the pics across the sexes is probably greater than the difference between the sexes. BICBW.
Calach, take a bow.
Chian-matt, cheekygal, I knew I was doing something wrong, but I didn't think it would take a dumb animal to show me what.
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The Galapagos Island's Ambassador signs his name while visiting China.
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bkbkbkbkbk bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax axaxaxaxax
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Mr Wang was confident that even his trained beaver could write better Hanzi than any bignose.
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"Wadda ya mean ya can't understand me accent??"
-
SIPIVT official exam invigilators: don't know the meaning of the word corruptible (but have a firm grasp of "fish").
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"Oh God, I want fish, not jiaozi and noodles! You don't understand? Fish! F-I-S-H! Let me write it down for you".
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This one is TOO big. You have to scroll too much just to see your messages!!!
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This week's picture won't load.... alalalalal
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This week's picture won't load.... alalalalal
be patient with it... it's not a picture, it's a video
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I always knew there would come a time and place for my old school song.
And here we are... in the key of D, hit it thanks Raoul!
" This time next week where shall we be
Outside of the gates of S H C
No more frogs eggs in my tea...."
Oh my gawd!!! Noo..... aahhh..............
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Acjade...what kind of school did you go too??? Frog eggs in your tea?? Were there cauldrons involved? snails and puppy dog tails? I know, offtopic
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Cauldrons and dark art witches ran a plenty. Puppy dogs tails and black patern leather shoes were also banned. NO mention of boys and nothing reflective that might drive the male mind into to sinful reflections. IT WAS CRAZY.
We sang the song for a month before the holidays began, slowly counting down the time until we were released into real life once again. On the evening before the holidays, the whole refractory openly sang the song in a loud voice. None of the nuns wanted us to appear at home with bruises on our body. It was a bit like singing Up there Cazaly before a Grand Final,actually. And as time has gone by I can look back and see the 'girls' now grown into women and how each of us dealt with that time and educational philosophy. I'm Irish to the core but the last person I'd put on a spaceship to planet Future would be an Irish Mercy teaching nun under the orders of a money grabbing, land expanding Mother Superior.
-
But....doesn't nuns know that all-girl Catholic schools have been the subject of sinful male fantasies for decades...it's the skirts and white socks...I think...
offtopic offtopic
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But....doesn't nuns know that all-girl Catholic schools have been the subject of sinful male fantasies for decades...it's the skirts and white socks...I think...
Grey uniform and socks at the first convent. Brown at the the second. But I know what you're saying. The Grammar School Boys used to spray paint on the walls after every boat school race: Be a nun and get nun. That was my sex education. Jeezus.
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as posted on the other thread:
"This man, answering to the name of "Dave" or, sometimes, by his peculiar, sinister alter-egos "Mr Kalgukshi", "Revenant", "Bearman" or "Writerman", is dangerous. Do not approach him. He has been at large all over Asia and Latin America and lures innocent FTs into his lair with the promise of decent job adverts and free and open chat. Before they know it, they are enticed into his basement where they are viciously beset with fraudulent job adverts, smashed over the head with the most overzealous moderation this side of 'Stormtrooper online', and molested with unfair bannings and warnings.
There is a $10,000,000 reward for information leading to the capture of this man. He is to the ESL community what Osama Bin Laden is to the world. If you spot him, go straight to the Raoul police and your reward will be placed in a Swiss bank account."
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He looks like a cancer patient.
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Dave, a prisoner in his own home, appreciating good, healthy and civil discussion with Mr Kalgukshi.
Words not related to this photograph have been deleted.
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Mod Edit:
This thread is off topic.
All posters have been warned and severe sanctions have been given cbcbcbcbcb
The forum now has a total of three posters. afafafafaf afafafafaf
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Top of the class, Fugu! agagagagag agagagagag
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My computer at home has been performing like the Leafs (dead in the water) for a few days, I've been battling a head cold and running my tail off chasing after one of those "We have lots of work / we don't have any work for you" secondary gigs, I've been doing student evals all week, now I see this. aaaaaaaaaa
You really know how to set up a guy's long weekend. I'm gonna go home, throw the 'puter out the window and sleep until Monday.
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As the Olympics draws closer, no expense is spared and modernisation of the fire department begins to take effect... ;D ;D
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Mod Edit:
This thread is off topic.
All posters have been warned and severe sanctions have been given cbcbcbcbcb
The forum now has a total of three posters. afafafafaf afafafafaf
This is f*cking brilliant. It's what we shoulda run in the first place. bibibibibi
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Save it for next April!!!
-
It may not carry much, but the dalmatian can pull it.
-
When Postman Pat first heard that he was being 'downsized' and 'relocated to China' he had no idea that they had this in mind.
-
Sometimes the picture is just too funny for words, but I'm going to try anyway.
Drivers wanted. Enquire at your local Fire Department.
-
Picture- 'New fire vehicles. Comes with firehook'
(referring to hooked used to pull down London during the Great Fire- still in that London holiday mode 2 months later!)
-
The government introduces new equipment for the Laowai Volunteer Fire Department.
-
(Picture posted for reference)
"Beijing out to impress the world with new fire-fighting equipment.
Just in time for the Olympics!"
[attachment removed for space reason by admin]
-
Top of the line equipment endorsed by:
The People's Committee for Harmonious Public Fire Safety and Security
Safety is our middle name, almost.
-
In Case Of Fire--- You'll look sweet upon the seat of a fire bike built for two.(sung to the tune of "Daisy") agagagagag
-
wweeEEEEee....wwEEEEeeee...wweeEEeee...
On hindsight, powering the siren through the pedals was a bad idea.
-
Raoul finally posts a pic of the bike he's been bragging about! ahahahahah
-
Raoul finally posts a pic of the bike he's been bragging about!
bibibibibi
I wish I had said that!! agagagagag agagagagag
-
Overcome by jealousy after hearing so much about Raoul's bike, George spends his life savings on a hot new ride.
ahahahahah
-
As if mere money alone could get his stank ass on a ride like The Rocket. ::)
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! llllllllll
-
The bar owner immediately regretted his decision to make Worzel Gummidge and Yasser Arafat his chief barstaff.
-
Hi guys! This is your agent. You're out, boys! You're finally out!
Seasame Street's been cancelled. And you're gonna open a bar!
(http://xs226.xs.to/xs226/08161/rn949.jpg) (http://xs.to)
But you need a disguise.
(http://xs126.xs.to/xs126/08161/raouletnolefan2537.jpg) (http://xs.to)
...you're going to China!!1!
(http://xs126.xs.to/xs126/08161/raouletnolefan3989.jpg) (http://xs.to)
Ten years later...
-
The long lost twins...
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Dammit, Calach, I don't have a change of jeans with me! ahahahahah pppppppppp
And what a night it was... jjjjjjjjjj
Nolefan's an encyclopedia of Arabic music, right down to hating that label as a catchall for several different music forms. Add to that Lolochan's knowledge of swing and latin music, my education's getting a huge boost.
-
Bollock and i missed it. Oh well next time lads. :)
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It was indeed a night.
Dinner was a hoot. The bar was fun, especially the late-night part where Disco Con and Disco Nolefan got boogied down with some... intriguing dance moves. aoaoaoaoao
Film at 11. uuuuuuuuuu
That night I had the pleasure of Nolefan's company, finally got the long-sought behind-the-bar photo, was (strange but true) outright given an iPod out of the blue by a bar patron, bought (and was bought in return) more drinks than Dr. C. Everett Coop would have probably advised, and got nibbled on by assorted Chinese girls. afafafafaf
It was indeed a night.
Come let's do it again.
-
Just post the pics Upstairs, please. cbcbcbcbcb I teach kindie.
-
Oh. Wow. I guess I shouldn't have sold them to that TV station then.
Oops. My bad. Sorry.
uuuuuuuuuu
-
Come on, just ask if we serve Jack Daniels and ice tea...we dare you!!!
-
Our bartenders look a lot more suave since we instituted the new employee dress code.
-
The rebel Leaders ferment plans to overthrow the Mods on Dave's World. A revolution appears to be brewing.
-
This picture is a true manifestation of the thoughts behind Raoul's old icon and caption borrowed from Doonsbury, "we mixed your drink special." afafafafaf
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1) Nole, my wife wants to know if your beard is real. Hey, I spoke up for you, but she doesn't trust me.
2) Don't you guys belong back in the movie thread someplace, where we were talking about who makes the best James Bond? If not, maybe the ladies can have a vote as to who makes the best JB. Remember gentlemen, it's shaken, not stirred.
-
I hope to lay eyes on him in the next couple days. bfbfbfbfbf Will report back re: beard.
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1) Nole, my wife wants to know if your beard is real. Hey, I spoke up for you, but she doesn't trust me.
every single hair of it is.... guaranteed 100% genuine bfbfbfbfbf bfbfbfbfbf I'm just wondering as to how my beard would become the topic of a conversation between you and your wife aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
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I assure you the beard is quite real.
However, the rest of his head is entirely synthetic. aoaoaoaoao
Remember gentlemen, it's shaken, not stirred.
I think it's all really in what you use to stir it with. uuuuuuuuuu
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"Well your honour,it basically comes down to this--Would you trust either of these guys with YOUR daughter?" afafafafaf
-
latefordinner, his beard is 100% authentic. I even pulled it once... ahahahahah
-
I see an ancient Egyptian style in his future: metal-studded straps tied down just so.
-
The Booze Brothers!...........on a mission from Dog!
-
The Booze Brothers!...........on a mission from Dog!
\
I think the dancing duck chook is on to something. ahahahahah
-
Nolefan, she came into the room when she heard me smiling and had to see what was so interesting. Not my fault at all. Blame it on the TV show she was bored with.
GM, I wanted to ask again, "which one makes the better 007?", but your point is well taken. Or maybe not. How many women are thinking about their daughters when they talk about the new James Bond?
-
Nolefan, she came into the room when she heard me smiling
A smile that can be heard ... almost as intriguing as the beard itself.
-
Can we change the picture? This ones creeping me out. Their eyes follow you everywhere。 鬼啊!
-
Can we change the picture? This ones creeping me out. Their eyes follow you everywhere。 鬼啊!
Here's looking at you kid!!!! beware!!! uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu
-
Yep. Sorry, bitch, but he's right...we were AIMING to creep you out. You, specifically. agagagagag ahahahahah
-
Uuummmm....... mmmmmmmmmm Does this mean that I need to get Hubby to s.h.a.v.e. amamamamam before we arrive in Shanghai?? (We're talking full beard+moustache here! Not to mention his plaited "tail", which is nearly waist-long).
-
Here in Shanghai we the gooder speakies of englishes. We know need yous forigners to come teach us no mores.
-
I think they were saying to "be patient; when your beard is long enough to wrap you will know what to do."
What's frightening is that, after 20+ hours in the air transit system, this sign made complete perfect sense... aoaoaoaoao
-
So... RD... was your beard thoroughly checked on arrival? uuuuuuuuuu
-
No...my beard is not long enough to wrap yet, and the guard was required to issue me a false beard at the gate. ahahahahah
-
But did he thoroughly check your beard? Never know what might come into the country that way ahahahahah
-
Too busy checking the beard to check the pockets
-
I'm pretty darn certain that a picture of Beckham is NOT going to help Hubby with any sort of "Long Love"...quite the contrary, in fact.....
-
Given the look on Beckham's face,I'd say he's having trouble "bending" it. Perhaps that's the reason his picture is on the packet; if he can't,then no one can. Boy! that has got to be painful. aoaoaoaoao Wonder how long it stays like that??? uuuuuuuuuu
-
David Beckham, the sexy, cutting-edge fashion icon (or so they say) really just repulses me. aaaaaaaaaa
This gave me a good chuckle though ahahahahah
-
Can someone please explain what this woman is doing?
I did try and figure it out myself, but there is no good reason for doing the splits on a log on a river (Well no good reason I can see anyway).
-
It's the newest Olympic Event afafafafaf......combination Balance Beam/Pole Vault/High-Wire Walk/Sculling competition ahahahahah
-
It's from the new music video, Log Driveress's Waltz.
IF you ask any man from the parish around
What pleases him most from his head to his toes
He'll say, "I'm not really sure that it's business of yours
But I do like to waltz with a log-driver"
For she goes birling down, down the white water
That's where the log-driver learns to step lightly.
It's birling down, down the white water
A log-driver's waltz pleases gentlemen completely
OK, non-Canadians won't get the reference. Check this then:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPDi9DzihrE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPDi9DzihrE)
-
She is crossing the river on one single bamboo pole, snd using a second one as a paddle.
The guy behind her is STANDING on a single bamboo pole in the middle of the river. aoaoaoaoao
-
Why?
-
Up periscope.
-
What do you mean watch out for the piranhas?
-
Just thought of another one.
There's many a slip twixt the pole and the lips! uuuuuuuuuu
-
Gymnastics First!
Learn from the best foreign teachers we can lure to work for us.
Even if you don't make the team , you'll still learn many useful skills.
-
Our new line of personal watercraft are reasonably priced, quiet, and also very eco-friendly.
-
proof that distraction in the subtest forms works, Raoul can't seem to take his eyes & mind away from the near girl in blue to care if the person in red behind her is a guy or gal.
-
There were some unfortunate translation errors in the rules for pole vaulting at the Olympics this year.
-
Raoul's new Gentlemen's Club - Employee entrance.
-
We do not discriminate. Sir, please feel free to enter when wearing your dress.
-
Cross-dressing has finally been introduced in China.
-
amamamamam Not being able to read Chinese, I would like to know....do I accept the picture and use this bathroom, or do I cross my legs a lot tighter for a while longer?? mmmmmmmmmm
-
The picture actually says "xi shou jian", which simply means washroom. Doesn't help much I'm afraid.
-
Amonk, what you do before you learn how to read (and if there is no helpful picture or English words, like in the photo ::) ), is wait until someone either comes out or goes in. If they have the same plumbing as you, follow them and you should be okay.
-
Or just peek in - if the first thing you see are pissoirs, definitely not your place! ahahahahah
-
Amonk, what you do before you learn how to read (and if there is no helpful picture or English words, like in the photo ::) ), is wait until someone either comes out or goes in. If they have the same plumbing as you, follow them and you should be okay.
bkbkbkbkbk
Or just peek in - if the first thing you see are pissoirs, definitely not your place! ahahahahah
bkbkbkbkbk
Thanks for the smiles, Ladies agagagagag
-
It's either an offer or a display.
-
May be funny, but I can't tell you the number of times I relied on that method until I learned what the symbol for 'woman' is. In the backwoods where I started my China experience, there were no fancy pictures or English words.
-
I decided that this was one issue where being completely illiterate in Chinese wasn't going to cause me any problems. I'd been in China for less than a week when I went to one of the unused floors of the building before a night class and spent about 20 minutes carefully memorizing the symbols for male and female outside the restrooms.
male 男 female 女
-
and to show how wordly we are we have also provided special facilities for our scottish friends. agagagagag
-
Or T-girls.
-
It's win a Michael Phelps autograph at the Water Cube day!
-
bibibibibi That's what people must have felt during Noah's times...
-
Jiaozi in a pot.
-
There is a guy near the front right with what appears to be a mouthful of water.
I would sure be keen to drink that people soup. aaaaaaaaaa
-
Ok, who peed in the pool. uuuuuuuuuu
-
And the bloke , bottom-left, wearing a "DRUNK.." cap!!
-
The fishing nets got a little too close to shore this time, reeling in an unusual catch.
-
In Suzhou, even the canals are jammed at rush hour.
-
Titanic Convention is more popular here than Trekkies.
-
Ok. who farted?
-
All thieves requested attend mandatory training class on proper rob techniques. Careful thieves not caught, less work for PSB.
-
I like this one - it's like something Yoda would say whilst instructing a young thief
-
At last,ETR has found the perfect bag to match his fantastic glasses. bfbfbfbfbf
-
"Dongguan Welcomes You!" Of course, it needs the Fuhwa and olympic logo on it.
Another idea, a famous quote, "To Be Rich Is Glorious!" - Deng Xiaoping. uuuuuuuuuu
-
The new slogan, on billboards all over DG, is "Dongguan's civilization depends on you". This picture's not up on the billboards, though. Wonder why? mmmmmmmmmm Don't want to show the ugly parts?
-
"Dongguan's civilization depends on you"
(http://www.koval.net/Dongguan,%20Guandong%20province%20China%20-%20b%20John%20McMunn.jpg) ahahahahah
-
That's an amazing pic, Spaghetti. agagagagag
-
I second ETR's comment. Really amazing at how enterprising people will be when, as they say in India, one must do the needful.
Then the very evil and cynical sarcastic side of me wants to put the caption "melamine saleman making his rounds." Hope all will forgive me for that one.
oooooooooo
-
I agree, Eric. It was snapped by a man named John McGunn.
Teleplayer, I thought along similar lines, but opted out of that. I figure I'd stick with the less ominous, "Hang in there" poster with the monkey hanging with one arm, perilously off of a tree, kind of inspirational vibe.
In my personal collection, sitting on one of these DVD-Rs, I have a pic of a man on a bike carrying a weather balloon sized, inflatable lantern that is about twice the size of the man. Pretty hilarious, but I applaud the fact he could handle it with moxie.
-
Donate to the local PSB Benevolent Fund, or else we'll stop arresting criminals.
-
Donate to the local PSB Benevolent Fund, or else we'll stop arresting criminals.
Perhaps, but I think the banner will be requested by USANIA Congress as the "bailout banner."
-
Perhaps, but I think the banner will be requested by USANIA Congress as the "bailout banner."
:th_bk:
So true!!!!
-
Chinese headbangers take the concept a little too far.
axaxaxaxax
-
The Chinese attempt to recreate the famous scene from the movie 'Scanners' proved more dangerous than had at first been anticipated.
-
"Excedrin headache Number 5-0-3...."
-
The PLA's new initiative to cure blockheads gets off to an excellent start. ahahahahah
-
Foreign teacher initiation as reenacted by PLA.
-
In the wake of devastating earthquakes, many members of the People's Liberation Army, always ready in times of need, have volunteered for a more personal and heartfelt role in the development of Great and Green China. Zhang Feng, pictured, leads the way.
As is suitable Zhang and his team, employing the simple yet moral technological axiom, "take from the West what is good and discard what is bad", and long aware of the traditional British oligarchy's habit of hanging their dead from the castle walls, have developed a revolutionary method both for the early warning of impending disaster and the simple fortification of all new buildings. Seen pictured preparing for his new role as human foundation stone for a classroom in Northern Sichuan, Zhang Feng and three colleagues, along with seven auxiliary battalions of the PLA, will be hammered into the ground at critical wall junctures on all four sides of any new building. This architectural innovation is known simply as the "English" Corner. It is understood that while both holding up one whole side of a building and warmly exhorting our young people to study hard, should these brave and selfless soldiers feel any tremor or vibration, they will also call out loudly to warn the little scholars and encourage them to run.
Zhang, shortly after his first structural impact examination, was interviewed by a Reuters correspondent. When asked about the experience, Zhang appeared to sink deep into thought. "What's your lane?" he asked, dazed.
Our correspondent bore Zhang's wandering middle distance gaze stoically, perhaps reminded by Zhang's mere presence that there are worse things than miscommunication. Then Zhang appeared suddenly to wake up. "How about Chinese?" he asked.
Our correspondent was moved, but declined.
Other advances in modern structural engineering include the "Fire Alarm", which includes screaming when burnt by fire, and "CCTV", aka lounging around a supermarket for 12 hours a day, or, as seen on actual TV, one vcd player + a video camera = a national broadcaster.
-
I thought simply "Traditional Chinese Education" would have done it. But CP, your English Corner deserves a bkbkbkbkbk
-
And from that day on, as they had promised, Chang never stuttered again.
-
The PLA's new quality control system finds defective bricks more quickly than all previous methods. ahahahahah
-
John, if ye dinna withdraw yer han' from unner me kilt, NOW, I'm gang ta stick this champagne floot whir th' sun niver shines. uuuuuuuuuu
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A Man's a Man For A' That
-
Why...Nothing is worn under me kilt; 'tis all in perfect working order!! afafafafaf
-
Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.
They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth
They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show
The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first
prize"
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"
-
bkbkbkbkbk
This is exactly what I mean about making keyboard manufacturers happy - although in this case it is Apple who will be the beneficiary - it was my laptop!
-
Remember to always wear a kilt! - sheep can hear a zipper from 100 yards away. ahahahahah
-
"Here's to the girl on the hill, she won't, but her sister will, so.... here's to her sister!" agagagagag agagagagag uuuuuuuuuu
-
PeeWee Herman's other hangout!!
-
Serving wankers since 2004!
-
Picture taken in Bali this August. Didnt go in. I thought the keyboard might be a litle sticky...
-
Serving wankers since 2004!
2003. aeaeaeaeae
-
We will never be out wankered! bfbfbfbfbf
-
At Wank Internet, every hour is happy hour
Monday - Stickiest keyboard contest
Tuesday - First 10 customers get off free
Wednesday - Hump day
Thursday - Ladies night
Join us for Sunday brunch with our famous 'special sauce'
Happy Happy Every Day!!!
-
Stil - Ewww, but bkbkbkbkbk
-
Wank Internet - now featuring the and improved Wankotron (TM, Pat Pending)
-
Hank regretted outsourcing the production of his internet cafe's sign to China.
-
bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax axaxaxaxax
-
Chinese mothers only smile when they know that university entrance exams won't be a problem.
-
"One child policy? At least I had a son."
-
Don't
Panic!
Zaphod Beeblebrox
was invented in China.
-
"Historic Ventriloquism in China - By Gavin Menzies"
-
`Remember us?
-
Despite protests by some of her neighbors, Ling and her son continued to go shopping while wearing pajamas.
-
Scientists still can't explain why the famous conjoined twins of Shandong grew at such radically different rates.
-
The eerie glow around Mrs. Liu and her infant son was eventually found to be caused by illegal milk additives, leading to the arrest and execution of dairy-company executives in nine provinces across China.
-
China Dong Fang Electronics Trading Company today announced the sale of special hats- seen here modeled by the inventor's wife and young son- that provide gentle illumination for reading while simultaneously beaming CCTV broadcasts directly into the brain of the wearer. The hats are available in both ladies' and men's styles, and the CCTV feed is said to give the wearer a constant, vacuous smile.
-
Very Suspicious Supermarket - the only supermarket endorsed by Raoul's China Saloon!
-
Even has getaway bikes parked out front! bfbfbfbfbf
-
What the hell is that? aoaoaoaoao
A shaved wallaby?
-
It's....dinner.
In China the rule is, "If it tastes good, eat it...and don't ask a lot of fool questions you may not want answered..."
-
WTF!?! aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa
-
Dragonsaver had no idea what an eye-opening cultural experience Bootcamp would turn out to be.
With no apologies whatsoever to Noles. ahahahahah
-
Many Schools Go All-Out To Make New Teachers Welcome.
-
The Chef's Special....Chopped-up squirrel stew stuff!
-
Chinese cultural lesson #34
When family pets pass away, the family has a feast.
-
At Pet Salon all of our accomodations are designed with comfort in mind. From our cozy kitty condos and private doggy suites, to a complete grooming salon and retail center, no effort is spared in making each of our pet guests feel right at home, and giving you peace of mind while you are away. As a full pet care facility, we offer a number ofspecial services, including:
* Pet Shipping. We are licensed and insured IPATA professional pet shippers. If you are relocating and need assistance with your best friend's travel needs, we can help.
* Pickup & Delivery
* Day Care
* Crate Rental
* Training
If you have a special need, just ask!
Closing Down Sale--be quick for great deal!!
-
Lion King costar's squalid decline and end
- Was there a conspiracy to stop his upcoming tell-all book, Timon Says?
-
Hap Sing was a traditional girl, and her recent Masters degree in Finacial Management was never far from her mind. Economic theory had taught her, "There's more than one way to skin a cat." And it was so true because in fact there were two ways. "Thank you, Suzhou Showing Love Activity School and Technical Institute," she said daily.
She often cried in her sleep.
The S.S. L.A.S.T (Suzhou Showing Love Activity School and Technical) Institute: it's the last institute you'll ever want to go to! - The LAST Alumnus
-
The Supreme Ambassador of the Galactic Alliance naturally assumed that the most populous nation on Earth would be a good place to begin his goodwill tour to discuss how to prepare this young planet's civilization for the great benefits that Alliance membership would bring. Sadly, his civet-like appearance led to a terrible misunderstanding when he tried to greet the first human he encountered.
-
Sheesh! I only came in to have my nails trimmed. bibibibibi
-
One out of every three paramount leaders was in fact standing on a crate when the picture was taken.
-
...as they applauded "The Changing of the Avatar".
-
"Find the Lady"
-
Breaking news: last night in Shangdong province, three former Chinese leaders rose from the dead in giant form, then calmed terrified crowds by making shadow puppets on a nearby highrise apartment building.
-
Coming soon... China's very own Mount Rushmore. Stone carvers, please call the number below to submit your application.
-
Scientists prove that China invented the Three Stooges.
-
Introducing the starting line-up for the national 3-on-3 basketball team.
-
hmmm....I don't recognise any of 'em - guess this will change, huh?
(Mount Lushmore?) ababababab
-
My eyes may be deceiving me but I thought it was Mao, DengXiaoPing and...some chap...
-
"If you're happy and you know it--
You, guy with the glasses! In time with the music if you please. And now ladies, once again from the top, a one and a two:
"And if you're ha...
Seniors. bibibibibi
-
My eyes may be deceiving me but I thought it was Mao, DengXiaoPing and...some chap...
Moe
-
hmmm....I don't recognise any of 'em
They are, of course, the original instrumentalists from the legendary band Led Zeppelin:
Mao Zedong (guitar),
Deng Xiaoping (bass),
and, uh...Keith Moon (drums).
Their attempted reunion tour fizzled badly, and they are now forced to play 4th-tier backwater cities in China, where they can at least get laid after the concert.
PS...yes, I know who the late John Bonham was. bfbfbfbfbf
-
Photos, courtesy of Fifi"s strip club. bfbfbfbfbf
-
When I saw the photo of the three guys what popped into my head was a trio of, "Helloooooooooo, HELLO, HELL-oh!" You know, like the opening of a Three Stooges short.
Then an old school, Melle Mel, "Now clap your hands everybody. Everybody Clap your hands. If you believe that you're the future everybody say 'OH YEAH.'"
The other was, "WARNING: GIANT MONSTERS ATTACK TIANJIN," but I didn't see a Toho studios logo to confirm that it was one of their daikaiju eiga.
-
Y M C A it's fun to ...
-
Chicken re-birth trauma. "Plastic egg worse than the life in the barnyard," reported Chicken X, "but oddly arousing. I thought a lot about Mother Hen."
Morty Chang, pictured breastfeeding Baby Kyle, and Mildred Xavier-Li, seen here slipping fifty up her sleeve for later, were not watching porn.
-
Aiyo. When I said I wanted to spice up our love life with a 'little chicken' three-some, this is not what I had in mind.
-
Honestly Mr Conductor,she was too sick to leave home on her own today!
-
Why did the chicken ride the subway?
-
Why did the chicken ride the subway?
Because she was too sick to be left at home on her own! uuuuuuuuuu
-
OK I showed you my pecker, now lets see yours!
-
People on the car enjoyed the screening of Lady and the Tramp, but Mabel couldn't handle all those dogs.
-
Chickens on a subway are so common nowadays...but look at that laowai over there.
-
As he rode home silently with his wife and baby, Mr. Liu reflected that he had been right in thinking that the new KFC "Many Fresh For You!" special had been suspiciously low-priced.
-
"No way, officer!! We were assured we wouldn't need a ticket for a mongoose!....it's our supper!"
-
City Folk....
bibibibibi
-
We don't need an extra ticket. Chicken is not taking up a seat!
-
If a game of chicken shit bingo breaks out we're covered.
-
"What??? You mean it's not a guide DOG?!?!?!?"
-
Thanks to their amazing new service chicken, the Lius were finally able to navigate the Shanghai Metro with confidence.
-
Pay him no attention, he always comes home like this after a night on the piss :alcoholic:
-
as madame zhou kept the little beast securely wrapped in the blanket for the protection of the other passengers, ernie, the faithful watch chicken sat secure in his plastic ninja outfit.
-
OK, AdamS, you asked for it.
On the subway was gong-fu chicken
That bird was fast at peckin'
When I saw him with his women
It started my head a swimmin'
That's a funky flightless bird from funky guo qiao
Shakin' his head up and down, lookin' everybody up and down
Soon he had everybody cowed
To his ancient Chinese art we bowed
-
Red: Uugh?
Yellow: Ohn?
Chicken: Meh.
Mimes.
-
Finally accepting that they could no longer keep both a baby and their beloved chicken in a tiny Chinese apartment, they rode in silence to the market, knowing the final battle over which to sell was looming inevitably before them.
-
Oh shit. I hope that guy Raoul is looking at the chicken when he licks his lips like that. ananananan
-
Invading barbarian hordes always appreciated a nice fresh place to stop and "powder their noses" on their way to Beijing.
-
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ahahahahah
-
The new pic isn't working for me. ananananan
Finally loaded. Now I can see it.
-
Stil that picture is genius. You should get it made into a postcard and sit back as the dough rolls in.
I bow to your talent of observation. bjbjbjbjbj
-
I don't think Stil actually took the pic. It's been around for a while.
-
So I gather you stand on the edge, and 'go' over the wall. But there's no toilet paper ....
-
I bow to your talent of observation. bjbjbjbjbj
As you should but I observed the pic on the net. There's a watermark in the bottom right corner.
and if you are using the toilet .... watch out for that first step.
-
Talk about "a mountain of bqbqbqbqbq" ahahahahah
-
Aw well, forget it, no more admiration for Stil then. kkkkkkkkkk
ahahahahah
-
cccccccccc
-
D'oh! I knew I shouldn't have drunk all those lattes at Starbucks before climbing the Wall.
-
While we at it:
Exhibit 'A': (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/stilavatar.png) Exhibit 'B': (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/sosabobble.jpg)
-
But Sammy was juicing while I was beering.
-
Well, yeah, but there's still the abnormal breast enlargement, the testicular shrinkage, the complete suppression of the sex drive, the random bursts of violent psychotic rage...different paths can still lead to the same destination. uuuuuuuuuu
-
I've heard about this mouth to mouth resuscitation, but this is the first time I've seen it done.
-
Love today's avatar. bfbfbfbfbf
A bit of a play on words but, as I understand it, tongzhi (comrade) has come to mean homosexual, in much the same way as gay (happy) has come to mean it in English.
And none of this is meant to be homophobic.
-
"See, I told you that if I made a wish under his portrait at sunrise, it would come true." bjbjbjbjbj
-
hey! is this picture real? i thought this thing isnt allowed in china?
-
Look closely at Yellow Jacket's jawline.....definitely masculine....even if his hair is a bit long. bhbhbhbhbh She's just a controlling B**** ahahahahah
-
I'd go with yellow coat being a man, but it's funnier to think it's a girl.
I reckon it wouldn't go down too well with the guards if I started pashing some girl right there. They don't even let you stop on the bridge to take pictures.
-
"OMG! Kyle kissed Kenny."
-
“Mao Tse Tongue” bpbpbpbpbp
Want to see the whole set? I thought so. ahahahahah
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63978244@N00/81351129/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63978244@N00/81351131/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63978244@N00/81351132/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63978244@N00/81351133/
-
Good Lord, Kenny let them put the Budweiser crown above his G. What a whore.
-
They didn't kill Kenny! Those bastards!!!!
-
All you can drink at a Kenny G show? Well I don't know...throw in some earplugs and I'll go.
-
Dual-use handsfree mobile phone kit, for the car, around the home or in the office. Doubles as an attractive and convenient replacement for that cumbersome fanny pack--store things on your head! Don't leave home without it.
-
Hey, Mom? The tooth feels better already. Thanks, Mom. What did you say I should do with it when I'm finished? Where?
-
Having watched a translation of Weird Science, Feifei hooked up the Ken doll, hit "RUN PROGRAM" and prayed...
-
"Wearing my panties on my head was just soooo 1990's."
(Hey Raoul, what happened to that pic I sent you? ananananan )
-
And now our newest Mouseketeer models the latest in Mouseketeer gear. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E, Mickey Mouse! http://www.imeem.com/people/91_55Db/music/yGaSXE4U/micky-mouse-club-1955/ (http://www.imeem.com/people/91_55Db/music/yGaSXE4U/micky-mouse-club-1955/)
-
Judging by the bra's cup size and her's the head is the only place that'll fit. kkkkkkkkkk
-
"Seems that you were right little sister,this is a really cool way to get noticed in this large office"
-
(http://www.earthling-concerned.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/mao_zedong.jpg)
*Approves*
-
CP, looking at where the bumps are in your photo, don't you think the great helmsman would fill a B cup?
-
Helmsman? I thought it was David Carradine. He was great in Kung Fu.
-
You know your life has achieved some purpose when you are loved and respected and your passing is mourned by so many. We keep you in our hearts, Shroomy
-
We miss you, kiddo.
-
The recently announced merger of FuddRuckers and Jack in the Box has caused some controversy.
-
Yeah, that's the one. bfbfbfbfbf
Don't know if it'll play outside North America, though...but then, who cares about all those swarthy malodorous foreign types, anyway?
-
(http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/450px-The_Thinker_close.jpg)
-
Hmmm. Not sure why it's coming up here mmmmmmmmmm but an explanation of the cryptic term is found at http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage)
-
Do you know how hard it is to find a linkable copy of Rodin's Thinker? There's hundreds of them out there, and they're all on blogs. *sigh* So picture here a pleasant and appealing image, Rodin's Thinker, posed just so and facing right. Perhaps we include the cryptic caption "...with Chinese characteristics", and we have our alt avatar joke. Plus some indication that skinny white asian chicks with small, bushy tailed animals hidden in their hats are the future.
-
skinny white asian chicks with small, bushy tailed animals hidden in their hats are the future.
We could do worse. afafafafaf
-
Good one, Calach. Add the writing on the hat and it's perfect.
-
After her third consecutive boyfriend came out of the closet, Feifei decided to lobby the public directly.
-
The People's Liberation Army, Aviation branch, consisting of 400,000 personnel and 2,024 aircraft, practice daily their non-redundancy program. Feats of sustained levitation are replacing the need for conventional aircraft, and allowing many recruits to stay in service. The Navy has cried foul, claiming that if anyone should launch an assault across the strait there would be no face found in merely wafting across the water. Undaunted, the brave aviators practice maintaining formation in the teeth of a pleasant breeze and last night's supper sitting heavily. Tally ho, chaps!
-
if all the people in china jumped in the air at the same time.....
-
Look, Ma.....No hands.....OR feet, neither ahahahahah
-
The Peter Pan try outs are going particularly well this year.
-
"I float like a butterfly and sting like...." bfbfbfbfbf
-
I have nothing useful to say other than *lol ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah lol* @ the pic!
-
It's the ballet, boys!
-
Some in the military are a little light in the lofers. The "don't ask, don't tell" policy may need a re-think.
-
The first recruits from China's secret 100:100 Plan (designed to reduce China's female:male ratio of 119:100 by sending Chinese males abroad) take off from the flight deck of China's equally secret - and the world's first - Land-Based
Aircraft Mancraft Carrier- launch a rescue flight to save the Fleggaarde maidens falling from the sky along the German/Denmark border.
cf. http://raoulschinasaloon.com/index.php?topic=4883.0
-
Are Danish parachutes made in China too?
-
Just the last one.
SPLASH!
-
The People's Army Parachuting Team, shot at an amazing aperture setting, an eighth of a second before very messily failing a group formation descent.
-
I don't get this present pic?
I have to guess as to what it says (if that is the point?) in the banner, cannot read the Chinese & am left wondering....
-
Welcome to Nantong, Professor and students from Arthouse College for Drawing and Painting in Slovenia!....I think!
Slovenia??...Well, at least it's an excuse for drinking, eating and partaying!! agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
-
I don't get this present pic?
I have to guess as to what it says (if that is the point?) in the banner, cannot read the Chinese & am left wondering....
it's an excuse for drinking, eating and partaying!!
Sounds like someone wasn't invited to the big shindig. Have you ever seen an 80-something Slovenian professor go all out at KTV?
-
it's an excuse for drinking, eating and partaying!!
Sounds like someone wasn't invited to the big shindig. Have you ever seen an 80-something Slovenian professor go all out at KTV?
No, George is just digging out some high school humor:
What comes before Part B??
PART AAAAAAAAA!
agagagagag
-
(http://www.shingobee.com/projectimages/mcdonalds.jpg)
Have it your way.
-
Chateaux Ronalde.
-
Although "Have It Your Way" was actually a slogan for...uh...well...Burger King. bibibibibi
The Point is actually sorta in the lack of a point...except for a chance for the local staff to eat, drink, and smoke like royalty for a night.
-
...and on the inside:
(http://www.jasonbarbacovi.com/images/tacobell/tb03.jpg)
Yo quiero Nantong.
-
aren't those the traffic cones on the roads during construction
-
(http://lolzombie.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/mcdonalds_abuse.jpg)
Say that again.
-
Now that was funny bkbkbkbkbk
-
(Any chance of posting the pics of the week in this thread so that we'll later know which comments went with which pic???)
Due to delays in construction of Today, Tomorrow has been rescheduled for early next week.
-
Sorry, under construction... uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/underconst.jpg)
-
Come back tomorrow and it will be done.
-
You should have been here yesterday mmmmmmmmmm
-
In that case, I'll go back to bed.
-
The "today is under contruction" avatar, plus Raoul's sig, "there is Chaos under heaven......"
Made me think of Brian:
"It's a sign! It's a sign!"
And for some reason, juniper.
-
Today is under construction
The following week will be delayed.
Next year is ajar.
In years to come there will be a war.
If only we had some yesterdays.
-Anon
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/development.jpg)
Knock yerselves out, kids. uuuuuuuuuu
If I see a clear winner it may go on front! bfbfbfbfbf
-
When Capitalism Says "Bend Over".....
-
vvvvvvvvvv
Capitalism is a paper bear-pecker (So fill your short-shorts while you can)
(where the hell was this taken?)
-
kkkkkkkkkk Pic won't load! ananananan
-
William Wonka (known as Billy Bear when he dresses up) and the Development Loompah band perform "My Balls!" an operatic commentary on the clash between socialist and capitalist values and the emerging "soft" power of New China.
Bear (sings): My balls! My balls!
Development Loompahs: Your balls! Your balls!
Bear: Oh, my balls!
Development Loompahs: Where are your balls!
Bear: Where are my balls?
Widely regarded as a telling critique of Western society, "My Balls!" sums up many a common farmer's perception of our common global future, says Hu Jintao.
-
What the hell is that thing to the right of the bear?
-
I've been trying to rack my brains with all the objects in this pic. Its so wierd on so many levels, anything I say won't add a thing mmmmmmmmmm
-
"See? ? ? I told you he had no penis" afafafafaf
-
Perhaps something to do with the bear market - and all the chinese people bow to this new God.
-
(ok so i originally posted this in a place where no-one looks! my bad - lets try again) bibibibibi
What is stuffed down the back of their shorts?!?!?! (on second thoughts, i dont think i want to know)...
my explanation:
We've got a few boys who watched one too many Mighty Duck movies and decided to pull a "flying V" on the big nasty bear who was blocking their path to the God of enlightenment, who just so happend at that time to be busy trying to teach his side-kick, Dog-of-God-of-Enlightenment, how to acutately portray the Greek God Poseidon. And as for the objects down the back of the shorts... well, i'll just let your mind wander on that one. th_bf
-
Shorts? I think they look more like diapers. East is Red Smuggies, or some such.
Wossname in the right background? That's 5000 year old dinosaur years of history and culture. Male genitalia? Please, this is in a public place. In China. It's just that you need a magnifying glass
-
Calach, I was eating my dinner while reading these, and yours made me laugh so hard I dropped my bowl. Only a quick last-minute grab averted total disaster. ahahahahah
I think My Balls! would make a tremendous opera, and no mean allegory on life. bfbfbfbfbf
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Finally, I get to see the picture! ahahahahah There are some weird minds in China!
Bare-faced developers!
-
WOW!!! No wonder he's mad. They were supposed to go for the Gall,not the Balls. bibibibibi
-
OK, kids...fresh meat. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hotcow.jpg)
-
Hired to create a 'position vacant' sign at the new
restaurant, ming-Guo mistakenly-thought the boss told him to
include "nice, friendly coworkers".
(nahh, but on a similar-track):-
"Part-time English student and signwriter Wang, is forever
confusing 'new', with 'niu' when he gets verbal-instructions"
(I'm not doing well with this. I've only just tonight read Calach's
"My Balls" masterpiece!, and I've been laughing at that for over an hour! Can hardly type right-now!!)
-
That's not the original? How was I to know? All you big noses look the same to us.
-
Come to McDonald's for some hot, fresh niubi!
-
I'll have nightmares. That photo deeply disturbed me.
-
I'm lovin' it...
...long time.
-
There's something in the way she mooooves me. ahahahahah
-
Wumba, Calach, you are on a roll here lately! bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah bjbjbjbjbj agagagagag bkbkbkbkbk :respect:
-
Isn't it Marilyn Moooooonroe?
-
There's something in the way she mooooves me. ahahahahah
You know I'll be beevin' now.
Eww.
-
Well, CP, your caption is amazing...clearly superior...and has replaced mine on the cover.
This is the first time in Saloon history this has ever happened. axaxaxaxax
-
Tian-ah! That is even more creepy than it was before, if that's possible.
-
Well, CP, your caption is amazing...clearly superior...and has replaced mine on the cover.
This is the first time in Saloon history this has ever happened. axaxaxaxax
Woohoo. Touched. Honoured. Mooooved. I'll be milking this for some time yet.
-
I'll be milking this for some time yet.
Anudder win for Calach!
-
McD's new spokesgirl denied rumors of genetically altered beef.
-
This has to be the most disturbing avatar the Saloon has put up since I've been here. aaaaaaaaaa Is this Wes Craven's next horror film?
-
Look! It's the new pinup girl of the month in Montana. ahahahahah
-
Soylent cows are made of people!
-
'a meal to die for'
-
Maid Cow Disease strikes again
-
You are what you eat
(I am a hamburger?) kkkkkkkkkk
-
This has to be the most disturbing avatar the Saloon has put up since I've been here. aaaaaaaaaa
I dunno, man...we had some pretty disturbing avatars.... uuuuuuuuuu
-
"My parents' love was a forbidden love." - Opening line of My life as a Cowgirl Supermodel by Bessie Larson
-
Even Bluegirls Get The Cows
-
There's something in the way she moos.
-
Oooh. Good one, A-T. bkbkbkbkbk
-
There's something in the way she mooooves me. ahahahahah
There's something in the way she moos.
Great minds thinking alike or imitation being the sincerest form of flattery? mmmmmmmmmm
-
A-Train's is subtly different! bfbfbfbfbf
-
A-Train's is subtly different! bfbfbfbfbf
As opposed to udderly different?
-
As opposed to udderly different?
That was sour, are you crying over spilled milk?
-
As opposed to udderly different?
That was sour, are you crying over spilled milk?
Nah, just milking it for more posts (until the cows come home). ahahahahah
-
As long as you're not beefing about it
-
I'm surprised no one's asked yet. Where's the beef?
-
I've got your beef buddy, right here auauauauau
-
There's something in the way she moos.
Bwhahaha! Brilliant!
-
I have to agree A-T has the winner for famous descriptive phrases among the several that were good
There's something in the way she moos.
But......
I also agree with China-Matt that even for this group of depraved refugees
there is something just inherently wrong with this photo
This has to be the most disturbing avatar the Saloon has put up since I've been here. aaaaaaaaaa
-
I also agree with China-Matt that even for this group of depraved refugees
there is something just inherently wrong with this photo
Yeah. I reckon it's been photoshopped!
-
bkbkbkbkbk
-
That's our George, a keen sense of the obvious
-
[Yeah. I reckon it's been photoshopped!
I wouldn't be so sure. I don't think it was... mmmmmmmmmm
Of course, I always reckon that Gerge has been Photoshopped. uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah
-
I avoid McD's like it's a plaguehouse, but am tempted to wander through one or two to see if I can find the original.
Anyone else want to do some checking? Maybe some of you who can speak Chinese could take a copy of the pic and ask employees if they ever saw a poster exactly like that. Let's see if we can hunt this down and verify if it's real or photoshopped.
BTW - I just saw another hat like the one the girl on the train was wearing (F**k in the Box) for sale in Dongguan yesterday. I guess hers wasn't a custom one.
-
don't know if this has been the most disturbing avatar of the week, but it has certainly provoked a good many comments. Now can we change it, please? I'm starting to see Normoo Jean in my sleep, fer Fecksakes.
-
As you wish. bjbjbjbjbj
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/wacko.jpg)
-
Springer!
Springer!
Springer!
Hi Jerry, this is the new lover I dropped the transvestite sock-puppet street performer who was my cousin for. It was love at first site. Plus, we wear the same clothes
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A Team America puppet-hat - with balls?
hmm...will have to go and think about this one...
"Enter with Drag-On" ?
-
Jackie Chan stars in Jon Waters' newest film "Everyone was Cross-Dress Fighting."
-
Jackie Chan stars in Jon Waters' newest film "Everyone was Cross-Dress Fighting."
bkbkbkbkbk
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"It's fun to be a part of the C P P C C" With apologies to the Village People. ahahahahah
-
Are you sure that pic was snapped China? The red banner in the background resembles the sales banners you'd find in Japan. It's so cropped it's hard to tell. If it is China, where can I get the DEVO hat with Saddham Hussein on it?
-
"Adriaaan!"
"Nothing gets between a puppet and its bike."
"Beam me up, Scottie."
"I should've said 'yes' to Karate Kid 4."
-
"It's fun to be a part of the C P P C C" With apologies to the Village People. ahahahahah
bkbkbkbkbk
I'm pretty sure it's from China. The banner's style is indeed Japanese...and can be seen outside Japanese "Ajisen" noodle shops all over China... mmmmmmmmmm
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"Among flowers, the cherry blossom; Among men, the samurai."
-
and among fruitcakes?
-
I GOTTA BE ME!
-
Poster Boy for SanLu Milk Powder
-
While China has long held a permissive policy towards abortion, this outfit was widely agreed to have crossed the line.
-
"I hereby swear to uphold the dignity of the office of the Presidency of the United States."
-
Which way to San Francisco.
-
Are you sure that pic was snapped China? The red banner in the background resembles the sales banners you'd find in Japan. It's so cropped it's hard to tell. If it is China, where can I get the DEVO hat with Saddham Hussein on it?
The banner is in hirigana (japanese), but everything/everyone else in the pic looks Chinese.
-
Okay, it's been over a month now and this freak has to go
aaaaaaaaaa
-
yeah, yeah...OK...I been shopping for a replacement already...
-
Awright, already, a new cover photo...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/ExecutioninProgress.jpg)
-
Tickets - 5 yuan.
Front row seats - 10 yuan.
Press the button or pull the trigger - 100 yuan.
-
Bring yer own
ratfucker FAO, priceless
-
Slippery floor. You don't want to know why.
-
Friends on the right, family to the left
and please don't worry, that really is red paint on the walls
-
Madness? This. Is. CHINAAAAA!
*kick*
-
Well, OK...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/luckygrass.jpg)
-
And thus, with the help of some cleverly written signs, the Invasion of the Body Snatchers advances into China.
-
Tag Question-FAIL
-
China invents the spearmint leaf.
And asserts international copyright.
Cutely.
aaaaaaaaaa
-
Et voila...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/rvbike.jpg)
-
ROTFLMFAO!!!! Where do I get one of these?
-
yeah, I've got no witty slogan to add... but that is just the coolest f*cking thing I've ever seen.
-
ROTFLMFAO!!!! Where do I get one of these?
Your nearest Photoshop retailer would be my guess. I am unsure if real pickup campers even exist in China.
-
Movin' on up. To the east side.
(note the envy in the eyes of that westbound trike.)
-
The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been a "ROOM FOR RENT" sign
-
Trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let, 50 cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
Ain't got no cigarettes.
But 2 hours of pushin' a broom
Buys a 12 by 8 4-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means,
King of the road.
(If that's photoshopped, they did a good job on the shadows.)
-
Pink lights at fellas
-
I also have no cute comment and I also think it's real because of the shadows. That is the most unusual thing I've seen on a bicycle. Even on a 3 wheeler, that's gotta be quite a load.
-
The girl of my dreams promised to marry me as soon as I bought a house. bjbjbjbjbj
-
No, she said she'd marry me as soon as I got a house. She didn't say I couldn't steal it.
-
faced with a rent increase crisis, Beijing's nongmin turned to their American brethren for help! This first ever cooperation was deemed successful effort and will go a long way into improving sino-us relations. The seeds are sewn for further joint ventures including resuscitating John Denver, Karen Carpenter and Garth Brooks' comeback concert
-
Another fine (and not pirated) product of the Wniabaga Corporation.
-
The next step in the cooperation will be figuring out a way to hook a 5th wheel to a bicycle. (I'm traveling in the States atm and seeing these huge things often on the interstates. Lotsa people 'camping' without tents these days.)
-
Negative!
The shadow is where you can tell the truth.
The other shadows are straight down like it's high noon, but the shopped camper has a perfectly "camper shaped" shadow projected to the side of the bicycle, instead of being distorted like if the light was actually from the side, or a kind of square blob under the bike and not to the side if the light source was directly overhead like the other shadows in the picture. Not to mention the idea that it is real is simply ridiculous as it would be rather cramped for a midget.
-
The shadow is where you can tell the truth.
Perzakkly!
The shadows are a dead giveaway. The shadows of the bikes and the power pole are going from right to left. The shadows on the camper are going from left to right.
-
The shadow is where you can tell the truth.
Perzakkly!
The shadows are a dead giveaway. The shadows of the bikes and the power pole are going from right to left. The shadows on the camper are going from left to right.
Not so sure I agree. The camper's top extends forward and there are one or more shadows from objects behind the camera crossing it that make it a little harder to be certain. From what I can tell, the shadow of the front edge of the camper (above the driver's head) looks to be noticeably to the left. The shadows on the driver seem to be about where I would expect them to be.
If our illustrious leader could post the source, maybe there are more pics.
-
'Tis art, my friends; Camper Bike (http://www.kevincyr.net/index.php?/project/camper-bike/) by Kevin Cyr (http://www.kevincyr.net) .
-
Aha, so much for my shadow theory! Lol, anyway art I can accept, no way something that small would be functional for normal use.
-
No room for the Vietnamese family in the basement
-
So, it's a real pic of a mockup. (I knew those shadows were in the right place. yyyyyyyyyy)
Step 2. Build a functional one. agagagagag
-
I'm housin'
-
Well, I was fooled, but it doesn't take much to do that. ahahahahah
-
MK, thanks for the link. Is that a picture of Mao on the wall in the 10th photo of the series?
-
Aww, youse guys is about as much fun as a barium enema. uuuuuuuuuu
Anyway: the new entry...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/civilized_tourists.jpg)
-
The Chinese, of course, being such pre-eminent judges of "civilized behavior". ::)
-
"Be nice or the panda gets it."
-
Civilized behavior of tourists is another bright scenery.
Uncivilized behavior of foreign tourists will result in bright punishment.
-
Oooh, look, kids! Fresh meat!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hardest.jpg)
-
Take one of each in case the other is a knock off.
-
More expesinve here
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a197/Bissessar/c3f4564e.png)
We 'ain't got any of that 36 hours long lasting stuff.
-
If erections last more than four hours....CALL MORE WOMEN!
-
If erections last more than four hours....CALL MORE WOMEN!
This is why dormitories come in 6-12 packs. uuuuuuuuuu
-
Seeing the world through azure colored glasses.
(And avoiding strong breezes in public places.)
-
Seeing the world through azure colored glasses.
(And avoiding strong breezes in public places.)
huh? mmmmmmmmmm the breezes I get, but the glasses?
-
I guess this dates me, but...
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
-
huh? mmmmmmmmmm the breezes I get, but the glasses?
A sometime reported side effect of Viagra is blue-tinted vision.
For that reason, pilots are not allowed to "take the blue pill" within 12 hours of flying.
That, and the whole "driving stick" thing. Planes are all automatic these days but pilots on Viagra have been known to have bursts of hubris and attempt complicated maneuvers without assistance. As the saying goes, they get cocky.
-
Wow...and that more expensive Viagra isn't even the "hardest"!!! bibibibibi
This is why dormitories come in 6-12 packs. uuuuuuuuuu
You scare me, man, you really do. You are one disturbed mo'fo. oooooooooo
-
Mr. Wang had to think long and hard about such a big choice. Finally, he made a firm decision.
-
Naaaahhh... that last one didn't work so well. Let me try to other pill and see if I can get better results:
Comrade Wang was an upstanding party member who had long been known as a hard liner. He was a man who could be counted on to ram things through a committee. If anyone dared to raise an objection, he could always raise a bigger one. Even if it took all day and all night, he'd keep pounding and pounding until he was completely satisfied.
Some found him wooden. A few thought he was over-inflated. Many felt that he was too stiff. Others were happy that he was so solid where it really counted.
Until recently, he always upheld policies and made the firmest of decisions. Then he slowly started to become more flexible, acting more like a sapling than a mighty tree, falling to the side when he should be thrusting forward.
Finally, a cure was found. Comrade Wang has returned to rigidly lifting the party's banner.
-
EL, when it comes to writing, you certainly hold a rigid standard.
-
EL, when it comes to writing, you certainly hold a rigid standard.
That's because I firmly grip my standard with both hands. afafafafaf
-
Naaaahhh... that last one didn't work so well. Let me try to other pill and see if I can get better results:
Comrade Wang was an upstanding party member who had long been known as a hard liner. He was a man who could be counted on to ram things through a committee. If anyone dared to raise an objection, he could always raise a bigger one. Even if it took all day and all night, he'd keep pounding and pounding until he was completely satisfied.
Some found him wooden. A few thought he was over-inflated. Many felt that he was too stiff. Others were happy that he was so solid where it really counted.
Until recently, he always upheld policies and made the firmest of decisions. Then he slowly started to become more flexible, acting more like a sapling than a mighty tree, falling to the side when he should be thrusting forward.
Finally, a cure was found. Comrade Wang has returned to rigidly lifting the party's banner.
The story built up well, but the climax was not what I was hoping for. It could have been more explosive, earth shattering, take my breath away. As for your writing style, were you in a fraternity called "Pappa Cum Loudly"?
-
The story built up well, but the climax was not what I was hoping for. It could have been more explosive, earth shattering, take my breath away. As for your writing style, were you in a fraternity called "Pappa Cum Loudly"?
My frat was I Felta Thigh, but I graduated Cum Loudly when I got my degree studying hard rocks.
Let me see if I can finish off that story in a more fulfilling way for everyone. . .
Finally, a cure was found. Comrade Wang burst back onto the scene. With unbelievable stamina, he lifted the party's banner to new heights, causing even the most reserved party members to cry out in utter satisfaction as he used his restored prowess to bring all issues to an amazingly harmonious conclusion.
-
My frat was I Felta Thigh, but I graduated Cum Loudly when I got my degree studying hard rocks.
Let me see if I can finish off that story in a more fulfilling way for everyone. . .
Finally, a cure was found. Comrade Wang burst back onto the scene. With unbelievable stamina, he lifted the party's banner to new heights, causing even the most reserved party members to cry out in utter satisfaction as he used his restored prowess to bring all issues to an amazingly harmonious conclusion.
After which, as they all smoked a satisfying cigarette, he asked them if his policies were as good for them as it was for him.
b'dee, b'dee, b'dee, that's all folks
-
Oh, you kids!... bibibibibi
Speaking of which, here's the new one...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/dontscore.jpg)
-
Due to repeated incidents, this warning marker was placed in front of the gate to Yao Ming's middle school basketball court.
-
I really had no idea she was that old. In my defence, she has really nice legs.
-
I think it's in reference to the Chinese Woman's Hockey team goalie. In her prime she was good, but now she's old and not a good goalie anymore. She was once known as the "Great Wall of China" goaltender, Guo Hong
-
And here 'tis for this week...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/badbridge.jpg)
-
Hey dad, pay the extra damn 2 kwai and let's take the good bridge!
-
From left to right: Tito, Latoya, Marlon, Jermaine, Michael (and son).
-
chinese tea pickers risking life, limb and child to ensure the morning brew continues to flow.
-
Mayor Chen proudly announced that the recent upgrades made the bridge the safest in the region. After the ceremonial walk by the mayor and his family, the bridge reopened to truck traffic.
-
After enough generations the clumsy had eliminated themselves from the gene pool, and soon to everyone's amazement tiny, backwards Island Village grew prosperous from the famous and celebrated dancers, acrobats, and bomb-squad technicians it produced.
-
In some places the proper use of electrical lines is poorly understood.
-
We are proud to present the new Terrorist Proof Bridge. Now with no place to plant a bomb.
-
China leading the way in ecological engineering - wooden bridges with no wood, reducing the number of tree cut down. It also makes money!
Posted sign reads:
If you fall to your death, your family will receive a littering ticket and will be made to clean the mess!
-
Wait till we find the bastard who keeps stealing the decking!
-
After all that the villagers were horrified to find that upon closer inspection, the grass actually wasn't greener on this side.
-
After all that the villagers were horrified to find that upon closer inspection, the grass actually wasn't greener on this side.
Okay, we have a winner bfbfbfbfbf
-
Vertigo Bridge
-
Ungrateful bastards complaining about a couple of missing planks! Back in my day, wooden planks hadn't even been invented yet and there was only a tightrope you had to balance on to get across the river - and it was a 45 degree angle uphill both ways. bgbgbgbgbg
-
Why did the village cross the bridge?
-
Why did the village cross the bridge?
Because it was there.
To promote a better society by eliminating the weak and the clumsy. uuuuuuuuuu
Crossing the bridge was safer than dealing with the local roads.
To buy dog meat on sale at the WalMart in the next village.
-
...and this is the handicapped-accessible section.
-
Hold on dad, I'll get you across safely..
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chinabeach3.jpg)
As clearly shown in this photo, crowds at the beach are only a fraction of what was expected. ahahahahah
-
And thanks for remembering for me to post the pic here. bjbjbjbjbj
-
Breaking news - a new wave of Cuban refugees washes up on Miami Beach after Raoul Castro lifts the ban on inner-tube sales.
-
It was certainly no day-at-the-beach.
-
debris
-
It's alright, folks. It's only a candy-bar!
-
It was when my partner suggested this moment to go skinnydipping that I began to wonder if they were too much of an exhibitionist.
OR
The innaugeral triathlon attracted a higher than anticipated number of entrants.
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hypnotoad2.png)
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
-
duh' Lick Me. For I am the mighty Hypnotoad. afafafafaf
-
Thanks again, Looney. bjbjbjbjbj
Raoulus interruptus...had to run out to early Mass and then to the feared and loathed second leg of my pretty-much-mandatory double shift (It's high profits NFL season, so All Hands On Deck (and no, I'm NOT talking like a pirate.......am I? :wtf: ) for some time to come. Lots of sweet, sweet OT (especially on a weekend afternoon axaxaxaxax ) and turned out to be the easiest money I ever made (outside of China uuuuuuuuuu ) and I managed to stay tweeeeeeeeeked enough to get through it still mean and kickin'.
So now it's 3:48am Monday morning, and I haven't slept since Friday afternoon. I'd love to sleep, but I dare not: This is Bat Country, and the filthy blood-sucking bastards won't stop dive-bombing my bed. asasasasas So I went and did my huge load of reeking laundry and chatted up the poor nice young Native American laundromat attendant until her head was about to asplode and she was, like, an hour late getting off work. I think I finally got out of there before she pulled out the Mace, but for the last few hours I suppose anything was possible...I'm wearing a scent that I don't recognize and that is making my eyes hurt. Now, I'm typing here and listen to really obtuse music (Currently playing- King Missile's Detachable Penis ("I can rent it out when I don't need it!") and then Fu Manchu's massive Mongoose) Next: I may take my cup of Canadian Night Crawlers (i.e. enormous mutant earthworms who can't say the word "about" properly) out of the fridge and, if they still alive, go troll my apartment complex's lake for Bottom-Dwelling Sewer Eel (and possibly the dreaded Batfish as well). Then, who knows...perhaps I'll go find a diner with a jukebox playing Ferlin Husky and Patsy Cline records and terrorize the place with my steel ruler while guzzling coffee I certainly don't need and picking listlessly at the Grits 'n' Gravy I don't want in the first place and screaming at the goddam bats until the local contingent of farmers, truck drivers, and refinery roustabouts conspire together to administer me un sedativo ("brutal beating").
Well, I gotta do somethin' with a one-and-a-half-day off.... uuuuuuuuuu
Now it's Chamillionaire's hip-hop classic, Ridin' Dirty....
"They see me rollin'
They hate it
Patrolling and tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Trying to catch me ridin' dirty, trying to catch me ridin' dirty....
My music's so loud
I'm swingin'
They hopin' they gonna catch me ridin' dirty
Trying to catch me ridin' dirty, trying to catch me ridin' dirty...."
Anyway, I digress.
Adamsmith, don't get this wrong...I know you to be a true mensch and a Major Dude. But I serve The Hypnotoad. I know The Hypnotoad. The Hypnotoad is a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Hypnotoad. kkkkkkkkkk
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hypnotoad3.gif)
All Glory to The Hypnotoad.
The Gorillaz' Clint Eastwood is now filling the bill. Thanks again, Dr. Con. bjbjbjbjbj akakakakak
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isn't the hypnotoad one of those hallucinogenic guys that homer simpson was so fond of.
Just take another taste and you won't need the coffee el jefe. uuuuuuuuuu
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Close, but wrong Matt Groening creation. The Hypnotoad appears on Futurama, which is now back in production (for Comedy Central) and which I've come to love even more than latter seasons of The Simpsons. akakakakak
According to Wikipedia, in its separate entry on recurring Futurama characters:
The Hypnotoad
"The Hypnotoad is a large toad with pulsating, multicolored eyes which emit a loud, ominous buzzing noise. It has the power to hypnotize almost any living thing at will, even mass numbers of creatures. The Hypnotoad first appeared in "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid", in which it hypnotized a flock of sheep to herd themselves into a pen and close the door behind them, a panel of judges to win a pet show, then the audience of that pet show to force their approval of that victory. It has since acquired its own television show <within Futurama -R >, Everybody Loves Hypnotoad, in which it hypnotizes the audience. The Futurama: Bender's Big Score DVD includes a full 22-minute episode. The episode mainly features The Hypnotoad staring into the camera, occasionally intercut with a laugh track or shots of the exteriors of various locations to indicate a scene change. The finale of the show consists of a voiceover telling the audience that they will wake up remembering nothing and feeling refreshed, and the credits are all attributed to The Hypnotoad."
Fry, sometimes with others, is sometimes shown watching The Hypnotoad. Effects tend to inducing a completely mindless drooling state, through which The Hypnotoad sends his subconscious commands of world domination.
You know...much like most real TV today... bibibibibi
Leela has been known to walk in and suddenly turn off the TV with a disgusted look at Fry, causing Fry to snap out of it and scream "Hey! I was watching that!"
If you want to fully experience the glory of The Hypnotoad, you can see the full 22-minute episode of Everybody Loves HYPNOTOAD at http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0SO8ZwoRZdMK2QAXnD7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTB1Y2k4Y2x2BHBvcwMzBHZ0aWQDVjExNwRzbGsDcmVzBHNlYwNzcg--/SIG=1kt6olqcf/EXP=1285068456/**http%3a//video.search.yahoo.com/video/play%3fei=UTF-8%26fr=yfp-t-701%26p=hypnotoad%26vid=160678084900%26dt=1196928000%26l=1321%26turl=http%253A%252F%252Fts1.mm.bing.net%252Fvideos%252Fthumbnail.aspx%253Fq%253D160678084900%2526id%253D63fe4e06e59c4cbb3505cddb55e3d7ad%2526bid%253Du%25252fenJ04dDLosxQ%2526bn%253DThumb%2526index%253Dch1%2526url%253Dhttp%25253a%25252f%25252fvids.myspace.com%25252findex.cfm%25253ffuseaction%25253dvids.individual%252526videoid%25253d23448041%26rurl=http%253A%252F%252Fvids.myspace.com%252Findex.cfm%253Ffuseaction%253Dvids.individual%2526videoid%253D23448041%26tit=Everybody%2bLoves%2bHypnotoad%26sigr=12duh0f7i%26newfp=1 (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0SO8ZwoRZdMK2QAXnD7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTB1Y2k4Y2x2BHBvcwMzBHZ0aWQDVjExNwRzbGsDcmVzBHNlYwNzcg--/SIG=1kt6olqcf/EXP=1285068456/**http%3a//video.search.yahoo.com/video/play%3fei=UTF-8%26fr=yfp-t-701%26p=hypnotoad%26vid=160678084900%26dt=1196928000%26l=1321%26turl=http%253A%252F%252Fts1.mm.bing.net%252Fvideos%252Fthumbnail.aspx%253Fq%253D160678084900%2526id%253D63fe4e06e59c4cbb3505cddb55e3d7ad%2526bid%253Du%25252fenJ04dDLosxQ%2526bn%253DThumb%2526index%253Dch1%2526url%253Dhttp%25253a%25252f%25252fvids.myspace.com%25252findex.cfm%25253ffuseaction%25253dvids.individual%252526videoid%25253d23448041%26rurl=http%253A%252F%252Fvids.myspace.com%252Findex.cfm%253Ffuseaction%253Dvids.individual%2526videoid%253D23448041%26tit=Everybody%2bLoves%2bHypnotoad%26sigr=12duh0f7i%26newfp=1)
Max the sound and watch the eyes. uuuuuuuuuu Try to hang for at least around 7 mins...sure, of course it's mostly The Hypnotoad, but there are some commercials and some stock-network-sitcom-type segues thrown in throughout, including a glimpse of my favorite newscaster, Morbo.
And let me know if you can't see this in China...I'll keep trying. vvvvvvvvvv
It's definitely Must-See TV. I find myself compelled to watch it often. :respect:
When it's over, you will awaken feeling refreshed and remembering nothing, I promise you.
All Glory to The Hypnotoad.
Meanwhile, Adam, I did and I don't. agagagagag
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isn't the hypnotoad one of those hallucinogenic guys that homer simpson was so fond of.
Just take another taste and you won't need the coffee el jefe. uuuuuuuuuu
I believe you're thinking of the real toads that get you high when licked. Homer was stuck on their island for some reason. When asked, "Are you licking toads again, Homer?", responded with.."I'm not,not licking toads".
-
Hmmmm....know about the toad-licking thing, of course (never tried it, but long ago DID smoke some banana peels... acacacacac ) but didn't know the connection to Homer. There's still a LOT of Simpsons episodes I have yet to see... ananananan
As for Another Taste and not needing more coffee, I was in a totally different conversation, which I guess forms a classic G-E-B self-referential recursion. uuuuuuuuuu
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Hey, I remembered this time. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/cigmachine.jpg)
Meanwhile, did anyone in China try the Hypnotoad video? I'm curious about whether you can see it or not...
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Meanwhile, did anyone in China try the Hypnotoad video? I'm curious about whether you can see it or not...
I remember typing in the url, but can't recall anything else for the rest of the day.
-
I thought I was the only one to see one of these cigarette claw machines. It was in one of the "old" areas of Shenzhen.
-
Here this week's...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hospital_sign.jpg)
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Excuuuuse me, but which way for the Lunitic Fringe?
-
An imaginative book report about the Canterbury Tales.
-
Excuuuuse me, but which way for the Lunitic Fringe?
No particular direction. Us Lunatics keep our fringes all over the place. ahahahahah
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*off topic*
I'm confused mmmmmmmmmm Since when does Mandarin have "the" definite article?
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*off topic*
I'm confused mmmmmmmmmm Since when does Mandarin have "the" definite article?
It doesn't
They're not translating each character for example the first one says
老 年 人
lǎo nián rén
Old Year People
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bjbjbjbjbj Thank you agagagagag
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Excuuuuse me, but which way for the Lunitic Fringe?
This 'map' may help. I think you will find your office on F5.
PS You will have to put your money where your stoma is
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Nothing like a good Map of Fools. Now I know where my office is located
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The old people, the baby, the patient, the deformed man, the pregnant woman arrive at a passenger lately.
Two men walk into a bar.
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I like that. bjbjbjbjbj
I also like this:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/bottleseat.jpg)
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"Sure, Moxibustion can be used to treat hemorrhoids..."
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RD, where oh where did you get this? Even by the most jaded "'nother China moment" standards, this one is a beaut!
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Binoculars.
I can see the sunshine!
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Jar Squatter II, Squat Harder
aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
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The bottles were empty when he first sat down.
-
Point of order: are they bottles? (As in, glass?)
By accident shortly after re-arriving in China (literally shortly--the driver conveying me from the airport did ply me with this product as we waited for his mysterious and lovely companion to exit the roadside crapper), I discovered a pleasing and quite Chinese soft drink: Bing Hong Cha. There are two companies that sell an almost identical product, but one of them, either Wahaha or the other company, packages their beverage like so:
(http://changchun.96128.com/images/200810/1224789257445769623.jpg)
Black Ice Tea. Relax yourself!
Take two in the... morning.
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Mr. Zhang likes to start his morning with a 6 pack. Neighbors refused to discuss where the other 4 drinks went. aqaqaqaqaq
Black Ice Tea. Relax yourself!
Take two in the... morning.
Sadly, his English teacher neglected to define oral vs anal when following dosage instructions. ahahahahah
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Mr Zhang also owns a tiny bicycle made from thumb tacks and fencing wire, but believes one day his shock absorbing squat'n'relax kit will revolutionize the way we think of curbside lunch breaks. Currently the kit is being sold to late night club goers, and has settled--uneasily--into the too drunk to stand, to sober to fall niche market. Accidents related to improper use of his product are, in that crowd, laughed off by bystanders and often technically forgotten by the users themselves the next day. Zhang, seen here demonstrating his product to a skeptical lunch time crowd, hopes to expand his...
business.
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The quality of my tea is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Into the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that seats and him that sates
His thirst upon the drinking.
-
No bottle opener?
No problem.
-
It wasn't until Mr Liu had shoved 8 of 10 bottles up his arse that he realised coming to kindergarten smashed out of his face with the intention of singing "10 green Bottles" was quite possibly the worst idea he had ever had.
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Calach, yes...those are glass beer bottles. At least they're presented as such...
Latefordinner, thanks...and I agree on this one. agagagagag
I'm constantly searching the image engines for photos I think are weird enough to grace our cover. I'm sorry, but I can never remember where particular pics came from... bibibibibi
And...some funny responses woven through the other stuff. bjbjbjbjbj bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah
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Uh, yeah sorry. I can't get a bit absurd when I'm feeling deprived of sleep aqaqaqaqaq
-
To truly preserve the quality of great beer, it should be kept out of direct sunlight. Some beer lovers stick it in the fridge. Others are more . . . innovative.
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Bottle #1 to do #1 and bottle #2 to do ... oh shit, no shit, still #1
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100 bottles of beer up his ass
100 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles should happen to pass
99 bottles of beer up his ass
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One big man of beer on the bottles,
one big man of beer
if one big man of beer should happen to fall,
there'll be no big mans of beer on the bottles.
jjjjjjjjjj
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Here's de new one. Gots high hopes fer it. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/squatseat.jpg)
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Damn, I'm glad this isn't a rocking chair
-
High-wire walkers are perpetually in practice.
-
Incidents of misbehavior are way down since Teacher Zhong adopted his new discipline methods.
-
Hey, you four gay boys, ... aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
-
Xiao Ping refused to listen when the teacher said, "Keep 6 feet on the floor" and is now suffering the consequences. "You want to try balancing on your chair? Try this." said Teacher Zhou, who hovers nearby with a switch to ensure compliance.
-
Marxism class at the China Academy of Acrobatics.
-
Shaw Ping received an A+ in physics demonstrating a fulcrum
-
This is what results when Tech Writers get lazy.
-
Should have trusted Preparation H(TM)
-
R&D lab for Kohler's new bathroom fixtures was not all that it was cracked up to be.
-
Lest we fergit...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/kfg.jpg)
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You mean "RAT" doesn't start with a "G"?
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Kentucky Fried Guess (what's inside)
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Oh, the Colonel will have this guy's balls.
-
Kentucky Fried Genetically-altered-chicken-like-creatures
Kentucky Fried Gizzards
Kentucky Fried Ghicken - Hey, it's close enough. We only got paid 25 RMB to paint the damned sign.
It doesn't matter what it stands for. The Colonel orders you to buy and eat his products, NOW! hhhhhhhhhh
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That's no Colonel. That's Bill Oddie.
Kentucky Fried Goodie.
-
In a new cross-marketing attempt, KFC and the Disney Corporation roll out their new dog meat restaurant - Kentucky Fried Goofy
-
Saw this on Chinasmack - The Chinese name is "ken ta ji", i.e. "knibble his chicken" which is pretty funny.
-
Why does "The Colonel" look more like Charlie Chan?
-
I think he looks more like someone told him what's inside
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HEY! Stop f#cken reading and order food, this isn't a library. You want to spel goodly, go to skule
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"Kewl freedom, guyz"
-
In order to deal with the problem of an excessive number of expats, China just opened it's first Kentucky Fried Gweilo. ahahahahah
Mexico is now considering a similar move with a new chain called Kentucky Fried Gringos.
-
Kitchen-prepared F***n G**g.
or
Kommunist Fried Grubs
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This week's entry. Go nuts. bfbfbfbfbf
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/fambike.jpg)
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Hey Raoul, where did you get this pic? I'm feeling like it is a fake. I mean the baby in the bucket looks really photoshopped! (And no one appears to be holding the bucket.)
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Yeah, the baby in the bucket is definitely an addition. The rest I can believe.
-
"This must be the Nutcracker Suite I heard them talking about" aoaoaoaoao
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Well, the photo was sent to me by Riz, as stated. Don't know the provenance beyond that... mmmmmmmmmm
I wouldn't be too sure the bucket-baby is Photoshopped, either. But I don't know.
And I don't care. It's a great photo at face value. bjbjbjbjbj
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Baby: Larry, c'mon, we have room.
-
Despite family planning guidelines, some Chinese families still have babies by the bucketful.
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Make room in there, guy. We still have to pick up Grandma and the twins.
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You should see how many we can fit into a clown car.
-
Baby Xiao Wu could hardly wait for his older brother, Xiao Si, to grow a little so he could have some hand-me-down clothes.
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For your safety, and remember safety comes first, keep all heads, hands and feet somewhere near the motorcycle (or in the bucket)
-
There's a hole in your bucket, dear Liza ....
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http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=63109
Because, like, if there wasn't a baby, we'd have to argue over just how the mototrcycle was overcrowded.
"No, I'm telling you, three adults maximum with three handlebar gnomes!"
Baby sez, call me Reuben.
Hello World, here's a song that we're singin'!
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Families in the area are being warned to keep tight hold on their children - especially those being carried in buckets - as the notorious motorcycle gang strikes again.
-
The Wang family returns from Wal-Mart during the 7-for-1 special. Deposit withheld until buckets returned.
-
The Gui Yang Hillbillies head for Guongdong after striking it rich in the organ donation business.
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1, 2, 3, ... 8, 9 WAIT, stop the bike!
We forgot the twins, LiLi and Pedro
-
Officer Xiao of the Guangzhou PSB presented evidence that new regulations to reduce the number of vehicles on the streets during the Asia Games have been even more successful than anticipated.
-
You can't see the two buckets and Anhui suitcase on the right side: clothes, oranges and the family duck, Honghong.
-
New High Occupancy Vehicle lanes are restricted to vehicles carrying at least 6 passengers.
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There's a hole in your bucket, dear Liza ....
i see number six from the front has lost her/his head. Of course it may be in the bucket.
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very good ben-dan. do you think the picture was taken through a bus window? it seems that way to me. and if so then the light could be a bit higgledy piggledy as it gets reflected off various bits of bus.
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It does look like it was shot out of a bus window. The shadow in front of the wheel looks to be a side view mirror but there is still definitely something wrong with Chucky.
-
Put some clothes on the kid while you're at it. One doesn't have to be a photoshop sleuth to figure out that the bucket baby doesn't fit with the rest of the picture.
-
Dammit, Fei Fei, you forgot the dog!
-
No one has mentioned the bike. What a great ad opportunity
Comfort for two, strong enough for 12
Who says you need a car for a family outing
Imagine if we added a third wheel?
And this model is the X series, the LX has more room and power
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No one has mentioned the bike. What a great ad opportunity
This 125-T touring bike has better carrying capacity.
However, if your family is small, get the sports model 125-S for higher performance.
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It's things like this that make me sad that Dongguan has mostly outlawed motorcycles.
-
7 people on a bike is still pretty outrageous, even if they didn't pick up a bucket of Kentucky Fried Child.
I don't quite understand the mindset of someone who saw the original photograph and thought, 'This picture doesn't look dangerous enough. Margaret, switch on my laptop!'
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Haven't you ever seen a picture of a great motorcycle then saw training wheels attached?
Or a million dollar car with an 8-track player.
Photo-shopping a bucket of baby bubba is priceless. Of course no one is going to put their naked kid out like that (though you never know here). I'd add a bumper sticker that says "Baby on board - except we're not sure where he is"
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if you are not sure whether the photo has been PHOTOSHOPPEDthen take a look at the photo attached.
Still not convinced?? Then you can go back to my post on p1 - and check out the photo I attached to 'there's a hole ......"
Still not convinced? ? ? bibibibibi
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if you are not sure whether the photo has been PHOTOSHOPPEDthen take a look at the photo attached.
Still not convinced?? Then you can go back to my post on p1 - and check out the photo I attached to 'there's a hole ......"
Still not convinced? ? ? bibibibibi
Hey Xwarrior, it looks like someone photoshopped the bucket baby out of your copy for some reason. ahahahahah
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Hey Xwarrior, it looks like someone photoshopped the bucket baby out of your copy for some reason. th_ah
You know, I was sitting on the bus this afternoon when the same thought occurred to me. bibibibibi
My first reaction was to get off the bus, get a taxi home, get on the internet and apologise to everybody in the Saloon for my error.
Then I thought, no ... bugger them ... and enjoyed an afternoon in the sun
PS Photoshop is to photos the same as a Chinese public toilet is to the LoovreLouvre
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... or as a bucket is to a baby.
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Haven't you ever seen a picture of a great motorcycle then saw training wheels attached?
Or a million dollar car with an 8-track player.
I haven't seen the examples you mention, but I do understand the humour of them, they have a punchline of sorts.
Photo-shopping a bucket of baby bubba is priceless. Of course no one is going to put their naked kid out like that (though you never know here).
What I can't get my head around is why someone would want to add 'a bucket of baby bubba' to a picture which already is amusing in a, 'Jeez, only in China, eh?' kind of way. If one needs Photoshop to manipulate photographs taken in China, then one surely is not getting out and about enough. Or to put it another way, China sometimes is Photoshop without the need for software.
-
True that
-
I was sitting outside a shop in Zhaoqing when this family pulled up to buy fruit.
I am not sure if the mother had fallen off the back - and I do not know if there is a baby in the bag - but it is the most people on a motorbike I have been able to get in a photo - so far!
-
You missed the 7 people in the side car, you should have gone over to the other side
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Aaaaaand here's the next one. Hope it ends the Photoshop debate, anyway... bibibibibi
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/anon_animals.jpg)
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WTF!?!?!
Did someone forget to shear the sheep before flattening them?
-
Ni yao la de ma?
(Would you like that spicy?)
-
Statler: What’s your opening act? A Chinese gorilla dancing ballet?!
Both: HAHAHA!
Kermit: Er, cancel the opening act.
-The Muppet Show, 1976.
-
Darth: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father..."
Luke: "NOOOOOO!"
Kermit: "Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force"
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Inflatable Pets
New Zealand males are very familiar with sheep as in the photo. They perform the same function as the 'blow up' dolls found in sex shops.
The great advantage of these 'Baaabie Dolls' is that they do not require inflation to become functional.
Kiwis travelling overseas report that they are superior in every respect to live products available in local markets. Their portability (suit-cased size) is seen as a plus.
-
New service for families who have lost their pets to unfortunate roadkill accidents: turn your beloved family member into jerky.
-
"Y'know Eric, when I said 'let's hang out together' this wasn't really what I had in mind"
-
"I got you, babe."
-
"We can haz cheezburger?"
(Argh, those things are both cute and heinous, I can't keep away.)
-
'Taint no sin to take off your skin, and dance around in your bones.
Meanwhile, screams were heard from the petting zoo.
-
"Hey Fred"
"Yea Zeke?"
"You know what?"
"No, what"
"I've got to scratch my balls so badly, it's killing me"
-
Genetically-modified arma-pillows for that late-night snack
-
Mr. Lu was very surprised that the sheep trapeze act didn't bring more business into his meat shop.
-
"Gee Fred,I can't seem to remember a thing after that tenth drink!! :alcoholic:
-
"Another fine mess..."
(And LOL at the picture of two flat turtles shopped into a legitimate flying-baby-bucket pic. Completes the image.)
-
This is what happens when sheep jump from very high buildings
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not one taken by me but worthy of comments im sure...
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Aaargh!
Please consider sending such great photos to me for consideration as a weekly Cover Photo (these don't have to be original, and in fact usually are not) rather than posting them! llllllllll
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Aaargh!
Please consider sending such great photos to me for consideration as a weekly Cover Photo (these don't have to be original, and in fact usually are not) rather than posting them! llllllllll
ooops. im sure ive read this before.. ok. sorry.
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On the road or in the bush, The Instant SheepTM ("Just Add Hot Water!TM") has been such a comfort to millions of Australians.
< Oh, crap...XWarrior had long since beaten me to this one... bibibibibi >
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'K...Read 'em and weep...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/walmartchina.jpg)
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this one always makes me laugh cos it reminds me of how korea imported fast food then when i lived there they were importing the diet industry :D
thanks america!
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Waldo!
-
Come to beautiful Chengdu. We have giant pandas.
-
There's something arch afoot:
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/pictures/chengdu-girl-with-daring-fashion-sense-real-life-version-xiao-yue-yue.html
-
Nuts, Calach beat me to it!
-
Yeah.
What struck me here was not her weight, but the sheer tackiness of her attire. This could have easily come right out of the "People Of Wal-Mart" website... aaaaaaaaaa
-
Whatever happened to that idea of modifying the Saloon so that the avatar only appears on one page?
Once again, though it's fun for many, some of us access the Saloon in public places in China where people all around us are, like, "look at what the laowai is looking at."
I've mentioned it before a couple of times. It's really annoying. Keep it on the front page, but lose it from the "Unread posts page" which is where I usually land when I visit the Saloon.
-
Was thinking the same thing, RD. Can Jerry Springer be far behind?
-
If only her midsection were as small as her skirt.
-
I'll take the super-sized roll with that O.J.
-
That is not where you wear an armband asasasasas
-
bkbkbkbkbk bkbkbkbkbk
I have a feeling that Bucket-Baby is going to haunt us for a long time.... ahahahahah
Meanwhile...for limiting the "cover" pic to the front page...
Brethren and Cistern, I feel your pain. And no, we haven't forgotten.
This is a very technical issue, and as such the bailiwick of our dear friend Nolefan. (One time I spilt my drink in one of them machines and big scary sparks came flyin' out, and I'm never goin' near 'em again! kkkkkkkkkk )
And guys, Br'er 'Noles is a very, very busy man. He has a Real Job (more than one, actually) and works long days trying to scratch a living out of the stony, inhospitable soil that is Beijing. And when he's not working, I strongly suspect he's either spending some time indulging in Dirty Little Monkey activities or is pasted to the sofa in a tequila coma religious trance.
I too have tech modifications I've wanted for a very long time...including a revamp of the cover picture. But the reality is that we have to work with Nolefan's very limited schedule. That's just how it is. Please never forget that it is only through the loving generosity of this lovely man that the Saloon continues to exist at all. He deserves patience.
And the cover pic goes back to the very first days of this site. It's as much a part of the Saloon as Uncle Bertie (for you newcomers, that's the guy in the upper-left corner of the page), school horror stories, near-fatal hangovers, or chlamydia. I am sorry for the inconvenience it causes some of you, but as such, I'm not willing to eliminate it to accommodate a relatively small minority of members. (And no, my jealousy over not being able to afford a smart phone, especially in the USA where mobile-phone users are being bent over and screwed by the service providers to an unconscionable extent, has nothing to do with this...)
PLEASE be patient. We'll do what we can. bjbjbjbjbj
In the meantime, I at least hope you've noticed my own attempts to meet you half-way. I been changin' the pitcher real reg'ler-like, and I'm trying to limit the size of the photos to as small as possible... bjbjbjbjbj
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I think I've been back in the US too long...What's the problem with the photo?
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I think I've been back in the US too long...What's the problem with the photo?
Spot on! Since I'm back on Earth for a visit now, she looks slightly overweight, but more than acceptable. Back on Planet China, she's the poster girl for obesity.
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"Will you still need me,will you still feed me when I'm sixty four?"
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"Will you still need me,will you still feed me when I'm sixty four?"
She must discern between kilos and years
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I think I've been back in the US too long...What's the problem with the photo?
Spot on! Since I'm back on Earth for a visit now, she looks slightly overweight, but more than acceptable. Back on Planet China, she's the poster girl for obesity.
It's not her weight. There are plenty of Chinese woman bigger than her. It's her choice of clothing.
Although that may be normal attire for an American girl these days. I don't know, I don't like to visit the States.
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It's not her weight. There are plenty of Chinese woman bigger than her. It's her choice of clothing.
Although that may be normal attire for an American girl these days. I don't know, I don't like to visit the States.
I was commenting on both. I've seen some horrible fashions since returning home. I'm just glad my wife hasn't adopted such styles.
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to put it bluntly, it's the discontinuity between the outfit and the belly. See, the outfit is supposed to be sexy but instead accentuated the grosser elements of the physique in question. She'd look hotter in overalls. It's the irony. Something along those lines.
Yeah, but she'd still be considered borderline sexy in the USA (and downright slender in Tennessee - if you want to feel thin, visit there). Personally, I enjoy tacky clothing like that on a girl, but only if she's built for it. In China, she's definitely not built for it.
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I don't like to visit the States.
Between the notorious rudeness and bullying of their customs officials, and that new nudey machine they installed at airports, I can't say that I'm too keen on touring America either. Shame, I really like the people.
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I don't like to visit the States.
Between the notorious rudeness and bullying of their customs officials, and that new nudey machine they installed at airports, I can't say that I'm too keen on touring America either. Shame, I really like the people.
Try it when you look like you could be Middle Eastern. It's frightening. A fine place with wonderful people but it's not worth crossing the border any more.
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Gaaaaahhhh... the longer I'm out of China, the better that girl looks.
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I don't like to visit the States.
But...but...that 'Double Down' sandwichoid at KFC is mighty fine, and McDonald's just brought back the McRib!!! axaxaxaxax
No, seriously though... Fine. Stay up there in your frozen tundra, sliding your various-sized lumps around on the ice and getting down-and-funky to your Celine Dion and Bryan Adams albums. It's not like we really want any more of you Frostbacks running around down here, staring luridly at our women and being all polite and decent and self-effacing, anyway. asasasasas
I mean, sure, our Border Nazis Customs Agents are rude to YOU. Who wouldn't be? And naturally we irradiate you as you slip across our borders. We're just trying to keep your numbers down, and this seems more humane than simply shooting you. Besides, how do we know one of your extremist fanatics of the Great Prophet Tim Horton (May Peace and Blessings Be Unto Him) isn't concealing a payload of Poutine in his underwear, ready to blow himself and his surroundings up at any time? oooooooooo
Why, they tell me that Southern California is just CRAWLING with youse Maple Niggers these days. aoaoaoaoao
Can't imagine why. dddddddddd
Frankly, I am appalled and embarrassed to have to admit that such an enormous proportion of my closest and dearest friends come from such an awful place. :wtf:
P.S.: I do make one sole exception for Joni Mitchell, whose children I still hope to bear one day. akakakakak
P.P.S.: blblblblbl :grouphug: bmbmbmbmbm
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ah there now you have shattered ALL my illusions about the Middle Kingdom. I was led to believe that all the maidens are very very nubile, and that anything over 38 is XXXL
anyway I think it's wonderful that she is so comfortable in her body to wear whatever she likes -NOT
kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
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Enough mutterings about minced moosemeat. Just for Piglet:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chinabrides.jpg)
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What's that Led Zeppelin song? Oh yea, "Whole Lotta Love"
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Okay, I'm gonna go all "feminist" on this one. Are we going to make fun of a few beautiful, yet playful fat girls? Really? i mean, i get the last pic, it was about the horrible fashion sense of the girl, not the fact that she was fat necessarily (in a normal shirt she would look quite normal) but this picture is cute, and nice and you are only picking on them because they are fat, which I think is a bit too much.
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Okay, I'm gonna go all "feminist" on this one. Are we going to make fun of a few beautiful, yet playful fat girls? Really? i mean, i get the last pic, it was about the horrible fashion sense of the girl, not the fact that she was fat necessarily (in a normal shirt she would look quite normal) but this picture is cute, and nice and you are only picking on them because they are fat, which I think is a bit too much.
I agree.
Can you imagine how big they were before their wedding dress diet?
Holy Hindenburg Batman!
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I would do them all.
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Fat bottomed girls, you make my rocking world go round!
(I have GOT to get out of here. aqaqaqaqaq 4 days to go.)
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If you think we're big, you should see our husbands
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If you think we're big, you should see our husbands
Look closer, they're standing on their shoulders in the pic.
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Uh, Borky...
I'm decidedly a Family Economy Size meself. I really wouldn't stoop to what you're accusing me of. kkkkkkkkkk
Generally, the only people I pick on and make fun of are Foreigners (ie non-Americans). ahahahahah pppppppppp
That picture, rather playfully I hope, DOES illustrate the costs and impacts of the changes undergone by a newly world-interactive China. This photo would have been impossible to take in China 20 or 30 years ago.
And it IS a cute photo. aeaeaeaeae
I'm obviously somewhat pickier than some of our other male members...OK, MOST of our other male members, especially EL, who had to leave China after being arrested several times for running through the streets of town naked from the waist down chasing after stray farm animals... but hey, I'd do some of those girls, too. afafafafaf
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"The Octuplet's big day"
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Oh...and I really don't think those raised fists are wanking motions.
I suspect they're samples of what their husbands can expect if they don't hand over those damn paychecks snappy-like. aoaoaoaoao
Actually, I suspect this photo is probably staged and those are not brides at all. kkkkkkkkkk
Think about it...even in today's post-Chairman Mao, post-Colonel Sanders China, what are the odds of finding all those women getting married at about the same time?
That said, none of the heavier ladies I observed in China ever seemed to be having any problems with their love lives. I definitely don't question the weddings, just the timing. bjbjbjbjbj
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Think about it...even in today's post-Chairman Mao, post-Colonel Sanders China, what are the odds of finding all those women getting married at about the same time?
Many cities now have these large (no pun intended) group weddings these days ala the Reverend Sun Moon, without the religious aspect.
Dahongyin (Big Red Eagle) CIgarette Company promotes them from time to time when hundreds of couples will get married on the same day at the same place for advertising purposes. Post-modern Mao indeed!
EDIT: For example, here:
http://is.gd/hzVuv (http://is.gd/hzVuv)
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They are all wearing white.
No surprise there.
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Oh, quiet, ya Dancing White Monkey ya. cbcbcbcbcb
Lao San, I know about the group wedding thing. Ya knows yer stuff. bjbjbjbjbj
I'm just not so sure about that particular group, all at the same time. I certainly wouldn't say it's impossible, but even with such a large populace it seems to me that the odds are awfully long. Obesity is certainly a lot more common than it used to be in China, but it's still far from a large proportion of the populace...especially among adults.
But hey, once every few years I might be wrong. ababababab
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Wait until you find out they all married the same guy
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DD: They all married the same foreign teacher? (OOOps, cross-post)
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Japalese Fisto Pumpo!
Better than bran.
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I'm not positive, but I think the heavier girls on the bottom are part of a singing group that is all about embracing their size and loving who they are even if they're not stick thin.
Off to baidu for further investigation ...
So they're not the group I was thinking of (千斤组合 if anyone is curious) but I found this article,
http://www.hangzhou.com.cn/20090413/ca1700275.htm
which is about these brides. Apparently 9 new brides of over 150 jin (so 75kg and above) decided to get married on the same day and made an event out of it. One of the brides organized the event and over 200 overweight brides applied to be a part of it and she chose 8 of them. It seems they were basically trying to show China that you don't have to be think to find love and be happy. So it is real afterall.
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I'd like to be the shop owner who sold all the material for those dresses
cha-ching in China
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Nikon's new Wide Distortion Lens TM, with aggressive crossmarketing, hope to tap a new niche market.
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Help me! aqaqaqaqaq Three days left before I get on the plane to fly home to China and those chunky Chinese girls are getting hotter and hotter moment by moment.
In China, I'd have thought aaaaaaaaaa , but now I'm thinking akakakakak bhbhbhbhbh akakakakak bhbhbhbhbh
So this is what it's like for a drug addict who can't get a fix. llllllllll ananananan aoaoaoaoao
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Welcome back to the candy store, EL
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Well, ya saw what I was saying earlier about EL's arrest record, right? bibibibibi
Japalese Fisto Pumpo!
Better than bran.
CP: You a SICK white muthaf**ka, ain't ya? aqaqaqaqaq
TLD, kudos on the detective work. So they DID all get married at the same time! Wouldja, wouldja, woo... ararararar
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. . . to show China that you don't have to be think to find love and be happy.
You don't have to think to find love and be happy? mmmmmmmmmm
You got that right buster uuuuuuuuuu
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Haha freudian slip on my part? I meant "thin" of course. Oops!
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Nikon's new Wide Distortion Lens TM, with aggressive crossmarketing, hope to tap a new niche market.
bkbkbkbkbk
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Weddings in China are a growth industry.
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Parental arranged marriages for the win! "Hoohah!"
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Team Bukakkae Revenge says: "testikle?! YAAAAARGGGH"
Empowering women since before you might not have been born. YAAAAARGGGH!
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Team Bukakkae revenge says, never try to catch two frogs with one hand. Instead, the man who moves the mountain does so by first carrying away two stones. So squeeze them together.
YAAAAAA! FROG PUNCHO!
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(The thing about claiming it to be Japanese weird sexo is there's totally no need whatsoever to explain the wedding dresses.)
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(The thing about claiming it to be Japanese weird sexo is there's totally no need whatsoever to explain the wedding dresses.)
True, but why isn't there a a schoolgirl on a dwarf's shoulders holding a pair of octopi?
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^ a question for the ages. Where is the dwarf?
YAAAARGH!
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Chinese netizens outraged by dwarf-crushing video
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^ and vow revenge.
YAAAARGH, cry the netizens, all eight of them.
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isn't this insulting to dwarfs? Or is that okay on this board? :wtf:
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Well, none of those women are sitting down, so...
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Sir Mixalot's China fantasy finally comes true. ahahahahah
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The latest. Hope it puts some of the misunderstandings, not to mention the symptoms of latent perversions, back to rest. bibibibibi
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/beware.jpg)
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What do you mean "Beware of People"? How the hell do you think the baby got here in the first place? mmmmmmmmmm (I mean like just over 9 months ago, not 9 minutes ago)
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thanks for that Raoul. A nice bit of Chinglish always makes my day.
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The latest.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/beware.jpg)
The creator of the sign must have studied at the Jean-Paul Sartre School of English where the classrooms have no exits.
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Now you sent me right back to my college lectures, Slim
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This one is its own caption. Nothing more need be said.
But RD, you should know by now that the symptoms of latent perversions
will never be laid to rest. The symptoms that are out of the closet will see to that.
Now where is that sailor-suited girl with the flattened dwarf?
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DAMNIT TO HELL!!!! Another stupid mistranslation by these pathetic earthlings. bibibibibi
It's supposed to say:
BEWARE OF HUMANS
xxxxxxxxxx
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That is one of the wisest pieces of advice I've ever heard.
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Aw, Jeez, I almost hate to think what youse weirdos and preverts gonna make of this one... aoaoaoaoao
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/humanpig.jpg)
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In response to The Simpsons Movie, China attempts to create Spider-pig. A mix up in the lab resulted in Bat-pig. Witnesses described the creation as tasty.
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I think that a conflict of interests prevents me from participating in this week's one so I will sit it out bhbhbhbhbh
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Now that genetic splicing kits are readily available, science fair projects are a lot more interesting.
(My personal reaction = aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao)
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Our foundation is not that desperate for foreign teachers. yet
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So the taboids weren't lying. Fern Arable really did have a passionate fling with Wilbur and had his love child.
I wonder what Charlotte's descendants wrote about that in their webs. mmmmmmmmmm
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Some pets are so ugly that they're cute. This aint one of them.
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Give face. Get face. Lose face. Pig finds face. Pig steals face. Pig has face.
Handsome.
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"Here, at a special farm in Anhui Province, we get a glimpse of how future Private-School Owners are produced." bpbpbpbpbp
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Looks like one of those winged monkeys from "The Wizard of Oz" in its larva stage.
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What was that last line in Animal Farm again?
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Well, I know the ManPig will be missed, but here's the new one already!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hanging_dummy.jpg)
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Please tell me what the Chinese says,RD
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The only part I can see says - advertisement.
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Hey Raoul,
Any chance this could be taken off or at least shortened this week? It looks far too real and if you've had students actually take their own lives (like I have) I find this a tad upsetting to see on here. I can't believe they would use a real person for this, China's hit a new low!
Thanks.
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I think it's a dummy.
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It's a dummy.
Or it was. I give up. llllllllll
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OK, here we go. Unless this one is somehow offensive too.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/fine.jpg)
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And I'm sorry, Becs. Actually not trying to single you out.
Probably just the depression talking. eeeeeeeeee
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What about if I find the new one offensive,RD ? afafafafaf
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Thanks Raoul :)....though all those Chinese smiles can be depressing too! Wonder what's going on behind them?
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Dunno. I like to think they're all fresh from some really degenerate Swingers' Party. uuuuuuuuuu
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Remember last week's pig mutation program competition? Here are the scientists who won first prize
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Anyone notice how the lady in blue is pick-pocketng the lady in red?
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Random picture info -- That big truck in the back was one of the floats from China's 60th birthday parade (I saw it in person and it was HUGE). This must be shortly after the parade itself finished because the floats later ended up in T-square, which isn't where this picture was taken, obviously. bfbfbfbfbf
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the floats later ended up in T-square, which isn't where this picture was taken, obviously.
Hard to say...is that statue in the background the actual Monument to the People's Heroes, just inside one end of the Square, or is it a (pretty impressive) replica, built on a truck-bed as a float? mmmmmmmmmm
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It is a replica, sitting on the bed of the truck (actually I'm not even sure if it is an exact replica or just a similar looking scene with young revolutionaries and all that, but what you see in the picture is definitely on the truck-bed and not behind the truck). It definitely was really impressive, and one of my favorites of all the floats we saw.
That's for sure not T-Square anyhow though, there's no asphalt in the square!
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"Degenerate perverts celebrate that they've all personally successfully cross-bred with pigs and that the reporter who tried to expose them has been hung in front of a billboard."
Damn Raoul, just how offensive can this get? mmmmmmmmmm
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i recall seeing this one from last year. cmon guys. get snapping/hunting. i look for the sites avatar to spark off a new day for me .... how sad is that!! bibibibibi
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Well, this particular picture is a) drop-dead gorgeous and b) a long-standing tradition here.
There are times when tradition is a good thing, and the Christmas season is arguably one of those times. agagagagag
There are also times when traditions must come to an end, and the cover photo, a feature here since day one over 7 years ago, is probably ending after the New Year. It's a lot of hard work that yields me nothing but bitching and whining, so to Hell with it. asasasasas
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It's a beautiful pic for sure but I always preferred that the more traditional Foreign teacher as Santa pic you used to use. Btw Raoul, did you keep the hat? aaaaaaaaaa
(http://i888.photobucket.com/albums/ac89/ChangshaNotes/Micellaneous/DrunkSanta.jpg)
There are also times when traditions must come to an end, and the cover photo, a feature here since day one over 7 years ago, is probably ending after the New Year. It's a lot of hard work that yields me nothing but bitching and whining, so to Hell with it. asasasasas
7 years is a long time especially for the tech side of accessing the Saloon. It's way more mobile now and that means we always have to pay attention to people looking over our shoulder. I would love the front page avatar to stay but not on every page, so I can open the 'Unread since your last visit' page without worrying about who is looking.
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hahahaha. nice one stihl.
for sure the current pic is in keeping with the time of year. its all good. :lickass:
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Actually, I tried that picture only briefly. It drew a lot of bitching and whining and didn't last long at all. llllllllll
And I never worked with a hat, myself. uuuuuuuuuu afafafafaf
7 years is a long time especially for the tech side of accessing the Saloon. It's way more mobile now and that means we always have to pay attention to people looking over our shoulder. I would love the front page avatar to stay but not on every page, so I can open the 'Unread since your last visit' page without worrying about who is looking.
Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah. yyyyyyyyyy
Whatever. I give up. cccccccccc
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I only ever whined about one. (that pig thing still creeps me out! aaaaaaaaaa)
I think it's a great tradition. We just need to mix in a few "not quite so disturbing" ones with the "please make it stop!!!" ones.
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"Degenerate perverts celebrate that they've all personally successfully cross-bred with pigs and that the reporter who tried to expose them has been hung in front of a billboard."
Damn Raoul, just how offensive can this get? mmmmmmmmmm
I just caught this thread by accident, clicking on the wrong link.
I'm shocked. Absolutely shocked! Is this really the kind of saloon I want to be in?
I have a wife and daughter. I don't want them to know anything about this! It's all in the past. How did you find out about me?
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Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah. yyyyyyyyyy
Whatever. I give up. cccccccccc
I wish you wouldn't ! I, for one, trust your judgment. bfbfbfbfbf You know the old saying about pleasing some of the people some of the time etc. Anyway thanks very much for the enjoyment you have given to many because of the great variety of pictures you have chosen for us. I certainly would not have the patience to do the great job that you do here at the Saloon. agagagagag
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What GM just said.
When in doubt, consider what you've accomplished with the saloon, and how you've done it. We may be a rowdy, raucous bunch, even obnoxious at times, but we wouldn't be together without you.
BTW, I like EL's suggestion: We just need to mix in a few "not quite so disturbing" ones with the "please make it stop!!!" ones.
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"Degenerate perverts celebrate that they've all personally successfully cross-bred with pigs and that the reporter who tried to expose them has been hung in front of a billboard."
Damn Raoul, just how offensive can this get? mmmmmmmmmm
I just caught this thread by accident, clicking on the wrong link.
I'm shocked. Absolutely shocked! Is this really the kind of saloon I want to be in?
I have a wife and daughter. I don't want them to know anything about this! It's all in the past. How did you find out about me?
Standard procedure for new Saloon member applicants is to run a complete background check through all "degenerates" databases worldwide. That lets us only let in those seriously disturbed people who will fit in with the crowd here. ahahahahah
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As for the avatar, nobody is aoaoaoaoao about the kid feeling up mommy's boobies? mmmmmmmmmm
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As for the avatar, nobody is aoaoaoaoao about the kid feeling up mommy's boobies? mmmmmmmmmm
I'm sending you a bill for my monitor.
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I'm sending you a bill for my monitor.
What did I do?
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What did I do?
He probably spat eggnog all over it while laughing at your comment. All your fault for being so funny.
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Yes, after much thought, the Cover Pic is staying. Sorry. Here's why:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/presscon2.jpg)
For my part, I will try to maintain some small smattering of taste and sensitivity. akakakakak
Otherwise: They're only up for a week. Deal with 'em. cccccccccc
Oh...and thanks to all who sent support for the Cover Photo...and future Cover Photos! bfbfbfbfbf
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I'm confused. Is the explanation in your right hand or your left hand? Ahhhhh, both.
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Look,don't take any notice of the Commandante. If you will just trust me,I know I could fix that "pile" in a few seconds! bfbfbfbfbf
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Your problem Raoul is that you beat about the bush, speak up man, what do you want to say, what's really on your mind
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And there was MUCH rejoicing!!! agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
Your problem Raoul is that you beat about the bush, speak up man, what do you want to say, what's really on your mind
Shhh.... If you keep that up, he might post his "Full Moon" photo. aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao
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in the grand tradition of "one picture is worth a thousand words"
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in the grand tradition of "one picture finger is worth a thousand words"
Aren't you glad he didn't raise all 21 digits up (fingers, toes and his nose) he wouldn't stop talking
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...the cover photo, a feature here since day one over 7 years ago, is probably ending after the New Year. It's a lot of hard work that yields me nothing but bitching and whining, so to Hell with it.
Noted Barkeep and Raconteur Raoul F. Duke Explains His Decision To Keep The Cover Photo.
So Raoul is basically giving himself the finger then?
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Not exactly, no. uuuuuuuuuu
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Inexactly?
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Silly rabbit,
Not exactly no.
means yes
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Hey Duke, not once have I ever asked you alter the avatar. But the one you have up now is giving me nightmares uuuuuuuuuu
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bkbkbkbkbk
And for others...never underestimate the might and importance of a comma. uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu
Anyway, moving on...here de new one...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/womenkingdom.jpg)
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Second question: ,,,,,, shouldn't that sign be everywhere ... and not just outside toilets?
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Damn. So that's what the sign my fiancee posted on the door of the house means. asasasasas
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Nice to see a man has a throne in a women's bathroom.
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Yeeeeeee-Haaaawww!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/backdoor.jpg)
For those of you keeping track, apologies for the extra week on the last photo.
Serious Injury + Great Drugs = Blotto Raoul iiiiiiiiii
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And now you know why there are no Greeks in China
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Yeeeeeee-Haaaawww!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/backdoor.jpg)
Context? A request, a plea, or a command?
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Context? A request, a plea, or a command?
All of the Above --- until after the appropriate, additional fee has been paid, of course! ababababab
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Life can be so much more fun if you break a few rules now and then. afafafafaf
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"Surcharge applies"
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Context? As in, rhe actual real-world raison d'être of the particular sign in question? mmmmmmmmmm
Absolutely no idea. None whatsoever. kkkkkkkkkk
It's very rare for me to know the real story behind the cover pics...and even more rare for me to try and find out.
This is because, for me, much of the fun of running these pics is to totally make up my own nice twisted "context" for each one of them. Furthermore, much of the rest of fun comes when others among us dream up their own dubiously plausible but charmingly perverted context. uuuuuuuuuu
What's the context? YOU tell ME. agagagagag ahahahahah
Personally, I can see the sign appearing as you go upstairs in the chicken bar (ie from the Showroom to the Production Area), but that's just me. agagagagag
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Ah Raoul, I'm reminded of lawyer Raoul Duke's hand-written note, "backdoor beauty?", he handed to a woman in Fear and Loathing. Earned him a ferocious verbal assault from memory, but I last read it 35 years ago.
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It was actually Raoul Duke's lawyer, Dr. Gonzo, what wrote that note and got the resulting verbal abuse...but otherwise you're spot on. bfbfbfbfbf
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I bet the sign was posted at the front entrance of an establishment with a fire exit that was expertly blocked.
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This week's edition. Confucius Say...(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/confuciussay.jpg)
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llllllllll
can't see it
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Reminds me of my mother telling me I couldn't swim because it was raining - heaven forbid, I might get wet. bibibibibi
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Next to that one is a sign that says "Sanlu Milk Company. 2 Km Upriver From Here."
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"Don't sleep in the subway baby, don't fall in the river"
Surefire radio hit in China
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This Week's Winner...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hoarding02.jpg)
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We here at The Matrix are proud of our record of consuming lives to power all the systems needed. We do apologize for some of the glitches in the Chinese part of the simulation that may make it seem a little surreal at times. If anything is too disturbing for you, ask for Agent Smith at any local PSB office and he'll give you a blue pill to make it all better.
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Puddle Time!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/civilurine.jpg)
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Is this the price you have to pay for civilization?
-
Those not urinating in a civilized fashion will be forced to breath polluted air.
-
...but in here you'd best hold your nose
-
Maybe the device just out of frame is a coin operated fresh air machine, for those gasping from the stench inside.
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bbbbbbbbbb And that my friends is why I pee outdoors. I also do it in a civilised way, not just spray everywhere
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You are all being very unfair. Uric acid kills germs, thus airborn urea particles kill airborn germs.
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You are all being very unfair. Uric acid kills germs, thus airborn urea particles kill airborn germs.
So, to enjoy the full benefits of fresh air, this would mean that civilized urinating would involved as wide of an airborne dispersal as possible, right?
aoaoaoaoao
-
I usually breathe out, not in, when I finish. Sometimes that turns into an 'ahhhhhhhhhh' of relief.
Must be doing it wrong.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Fashion.jpg)
"Maybe That Cute Site Foreman Will Notice Me NOW!!!"
Apologies, by the way, for leaving the last one up and extra week. As the East Germans used to say, "I T'row De Hammah Nine Hunnert Meters Mit Der Gute Drugs!"
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I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
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ahahahahah That's gotta be pshopped. Just too brilliant to be true.
Dalian asserts its position of leadership in the international fashion world with its breathtalking new men's summer fashions.
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Health care officials insist there is no danger to residents living downstream of the hormone manufacturing facility.
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ahahahahah That's gotta be pshopped. Just too brilliant to be true.
Nah, it's Stil's new GF. ahahahahah
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ahahahahah That's gotta be pshopped. Just too brilliant to be true.
Nah, it's Stil's new GF. ahahahahah
We call that her 'dancing bra'
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"I dreamed I delivered 100 bike-truck loads of pressed soft-coal briquettes...
...in my Maidenform Bra!"
(Refs to an old US ad campaign; hope it still scans...)
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"Even Today, Few People Know The Tragic Agony Suffered By Dyslexic Transvestites."
-
Sanlu employee still making mistakes.
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The Bro works both ways in China.
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"If only I could find matching panties."
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If he could, would he wear them backwards, or on his head?
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All I can Remember is going to a party for this "big nose" who was about to be married shortly. I think they called him EL!
-
Sorry, no comment. It looks like a painting.
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Sorry, no comment. It looks like a painting.
Which painting? Mona Lisa? The Scream? Dogs playing poker?
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New Meat!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/girlsshirt.jpg)
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But she said she was over 18!
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Ok, I'm going to be the stupid one, and say that I don't get it. Is it something to do with the word on her T-Shirt, which I can't make out? It just looks like a photo of a cute little girl.
Not that I'm complaining. I think a week of the guy wearing the bra backwards caused me minor psychological damage.
Oh actually, I think I've got it; erotica, although I've been staring so hard at it the rorscarch (sic) thing above it has started looking like an angry owl getting ready for a gunfight.
-
'maybe if i keep hinting mom will buy me that new mobile phone when she see's that i can hold it correctly.'
-
Coby?
Here!
Swallow?
Here!
Erotica?
. . .
Erotica?
. . .
Erotica, get your fingers out of your ears, there's a good boy.
-
I just never get sick of those hair styles. I know I shouldn't be so biased one way or the other, but no matter how grumpy I'm feeling – if I'm feeling grumpy – I get cheered up as soon as I see one of those cute little girls with the elaborate hair. I can pass some businessmen on the street with furrowed brow carefully avoiding any eye contact, and then be all cheerful when a little girl points at me and calls me "lao Wai."
"Erotica" isn't appropriate however! My youngest student ever once wore a jacket with "Marlborough" on one sleeve and "Exxon" on the other.
Note: I agree with the poster about the guy with the bra on backwards. I'm so glad to be rid of that image. I'd try to scroll down before it would upload each time I came to the site. I was more comfortable with the Santa, and maybe even some of the stool images.
-
Is this another one of Stil's girlfriends? mmmmmmmmmm
-
Not since she turned 8. bpbpbpbpbp
And the images are generally only up about a week each. Quitcher whining. cbcbcbcbcb
-
Oh actually, I think I've got it; erotica, although I've been staring so hard at it the rorscarch (sic) thing above it has started looking like an angry owl getting ready for a gunfight.
Now that you point it out I can also see the owl, and it does also seem he's got some sort of appendages out ready to grab a gun out of a holster in a showdown. The owl is wearing a dress, too, as long as we're no the subject.
-
You can't see the image? Tinkerbell got run over on the highway.
-
Another sad case of a child who took candy from the wrong stranger. uuuuuuuuuu
(On a more serious note - Some parents need to be flogged and have their ability to reproduce removed using rusty scalpels. This kid's parents probably couldn't read English, but the same sort of thing happens with some parents who can.)
-
Maybe I am going blind, or senile, or both, but I can't for the life of me work out what is written under the butterfly. Someone please enlighten me!! Please.
Lin
Zhaoqing, Guangdong.
bxbxbxbxbx
-
Erotica
-
Erotica
Congratulations DS! That's the secret word of the day. You've just won a free full-body massage by an Escaped Lunatic. Please report to Dongguan to collect your prize. afafafafaf
-
Dang EL. Dalian is too far from Dongguan to go for a full body massage, even by you afafafafaf
I will just have to dream about it akakakakak awawawawaw
You can practice on your 'beloved' instead agagagagag agagagagag bhbhbhbhbh
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No, no...BY ALL MEANS show up, demand the full body massage, and let EL deal with the little lady after you've gone. Why, if you're lucky you might even see her take a wok upside his haid. uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah
-
...
-
???
Anyway...Et Voila, Biches!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Trip042-1.jpg)
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I hate it when suddenness happens. asasasasas
-
Suddenness happening is a permanent state of affairs isn't it? Or was that the second glass of wine talking?
-
Suddenness happening is a permanent state of affairs isn't it? Or was that the second glass of wine talking?
Only if you cross the railing. ahahahahah
-
I believe suddenness is the Chinese euphemism for la duzi.
-
bkbkbkbkbk
-
Now there's a security fence I'd install.
-
Here's another one!
Babes In Khaki...wasn't that a Victor Herbert operetta back in the 1920s? mmmmmmmmmm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/ladypilots.jpg)
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WOW! akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak
-
The Right Stuff
-
WOW! akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak
Oh no. Down boy. heal. heal.
OK, the title is quite funny, but on an actual level I wonder if they are sexually repressed or have been anytime recently. I've only been in China in the last 4 years, but it seems there are sex shops EVERYWHERE with all sorts of implements and whatnots in them. I've actually never really looked in, well, more than enough to glimpse what sorts of things there were. It's enough to make me think, and I kind of do, that sex is the new, for lack of a better phrase, "opiate of the masses." Ironically, in the small towns you REALLY can't miss the pink houses and sex shops.
-
Of course I'm carrying my mobile phone holster. I might have to SMS my classmate for help flying this thing, just like I did during the exam. You don't think I'm relying on the radio, do you?
-
It may have passed her "white glove" test, but I still want to know where that hose was before she got ahold of it.
-
"Go ahead, make my day" afafafafaf
-
Seven hours later, EL died with a smile permanently etched on his face. ababababab
-
I have a need, a need for speed
-
Although still dwarfing him in size, the director of Top Gun still felt these the most suitable stunt doubles for Tom Cruise.
-
The drivers for the new Express Taxi service plan to give express trains some serious competition. ahahahahah
-
Helmet! Check!
Visor! Check!
Parachute! Check!
Oxygen Mask! Check!
Condoms! Check!
Classes at the new Guangdong Number 1 University for Modern Sexual Studies are very detailed. Our graduates can handle themselves in any situation.
-
Helmet! Check!
Visor! Check!
Parachute! Check!
Oxygen Mask! Check!
Condoms! Check!
Classes at the new Guangdong Number 1 University for Modern Sexual Studies are very detailed. Our graduates can handle themselves in any situation.
Crosspost, OT, but...
Why the FT chose Eight Miles High for today's theme music
-
If they weren't so young and beautiful, you'd think they were ready to help Senor Boogie Woogie with his recent plight (not flight)
-
Maybe the helmets are hiding something. Are they beautiful? All is see is "students." If I hadn't just had a vacation I'd say it was time for one.
-
Well, some are hidden by helmets, but I can see enough of the young lady on the left to know that I'd like to take her for a few gravity-defying, performance-maximizing test flights. afafafafaf
And I like to think those aren't oxygen masks. Maybe nitrous oxide to intensify the rush...or at least some helium so that when you shout out in ecstasy, your voice is three octaves higher. afafafafaf ahahahahah
-
or at least some helium so that when you shout out in ecstasy, your voice is three octaves higher. afafafafaf ahahahahah
hahaha, that would be sweet.
-
or at least some helium so that when you shout out in ecstasy, your voice is three octaves higher. afafafafaf ahahahahah
hahaha, that would be sweet.
With some Chinese girls, 3 octaves higher would put the sound out of the range of human hearing. ahahahahah
-
Dude...the helium is for YOU. ahahahahah
-
For the record, I would do those women.
-
And I like to think those aren't oxygen masks. Maybe nitrous oxide to intensify the rush...or at least some helium so that when you shout out in ecstasy, your voice is three octaves higher. afafafafaf ahahahahah
(http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/replicate/EXID22560/images/Dennis-Hopper-BlueVelvet.jpg)
I'm just sayin'
-
Great minds do think alike. agagagagag
Did you know that originally, in Blue Velvet, David Lynch wanted "Frank's" little canister to be full of helium to make his voice squeaky?
Dennis Hopper says he disagreed, wanting it to be full of some kind of drugs to make him act crazy.
Hopper said it wasn't until years later that he suddenly realized how much scarier and creepier Lynch's original idea really was... aoaoaoaoao
-
We may only be waitresses, but our new uniforms rock!
-
Okay ladies. That there is the legendary Day Dreamer, he won't go without a fight. You girls are the best of the best and have been chosen for this job. This is a monumental task, but if we gang attack him, we may take him down. We may not do it, some of us may not even survive, but remember, it'll be worth it. For the greater good of every Chinese women, are you ready?
(Time for Day Dreamer's annual bath)
-
axaxaxaxax bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax
-
Yup. axaxaxaxax bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax
-
we could start a whole new thread just with the possible replies to that one, DD
bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah
-
Hubba hubba! Now I see why chicks dig flyboys. It cuts both ways. akakakakak
-
bjbjbjbjbj
-
"That's right, Ice... man. I am dangerous."
-
The new one, reluctantly...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/RFL.jpg)
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Could you please show me where the spaghetti and meatballs stairwell are located?
-
Rice Flour Noodle was mystified that the airline had anticipated his arrival. He realized that now would be a good time to have a flashback to his childhood in the Shaolin Temple so that his old master could explain the situation to him.
bjbjbjbjbj
-
Meanwhile, sweet and sour pork sipped a martini in the VIP lounge.
-
I'm sure this is directed at the flies in the airport restaurant. they are being asked to wait outside the bowl while the waitstaff prepare the rice noodles. When the bowl is clean and the noodles are ready, the flies can go swimming again.
-
Read 'em and weep, folks.
I know sometimes people get offended by the cover photos. Generally, I no longer give a rat's ass...but I WILL apologize in advance for this one.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/GeneralLunaticAndFamily2.jpg)
Yes, that's Escaped Lunatic, appropriately attired.
PLEASE DON'T LAPSE INTO WEDDING CONGRATS ON THIS THREAD!
I'll start another thread for that. bjbjbjbjbj
-
Hongbao and other tribute can be delivered to this thread:
http://raoulschinasaloon.com/index.php?topic=6210.0
(Thanks El Hefe!)
My original caption suggestion was "Guess what fool Lunatic is getting married on April 1st?"
Other options:
It's good to be King!
World Domination: It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.
-
What are we going to do today, Daddy?
Same thing we do everyday, darlings. Plan to take over the world.
Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
<BTW, lookin' good,EL!>
-
World Domination the
easy Lunatic way akakakakak agagagagag agagagagag
-
General Lunatic prepares to address his subjects. ahahahahah
-
Photoshop ain't what it used to be
-
I'm really liking this stretch of this thread. It's confirming how many of us can write MUCH funnier captions than EL can. ahahahahah
-
In a surprise move, Burger King introduces two compelling new characters into the franchise mythology in an effort to capture the Chinese fast food buck. The Burger Queen and Burger Princess will have it their way!
-
Escaped lunatic captures queen and her princess, locks them in one of his castles. Mario and Luigi vow for their safe return.
-
Step right up folks and have your picture taken with an Escaped Lunatic, only $10.
For $20, you don't have to wear the Hallowe'en get-up
For $50, we could take out the Escaped Lunatic altogether.
(obviously these fine young ladies either didn't have the money or enjoy the novelty as they are the first and last)
-
"Ah, yes, 'twas a grand night. But when the Admiral awoke the next day, the ladies were gone...as were his medals and his wallet."
-
Wow so the Village People are taking things in a whole new direction
-
Hi, we're your host and hostess to this fine eating establishment (Burger King). And this lovely lady is your waitress so please tip her.
(sorry to poke fun at your new daughter, but you gragged her into this!)
-
So, this is what has become of Sgt. Pepper and his band.
-
So, this is what has become of Sgt. Pepper and his band.
Sergeant Pepper has just gotten a couple of new members for his band.
or
Come up to my castle to see my albums. afafafafaf
-
Two of the lovely doctors from the Guangzhou Number 7 Psychiatric Hospital attempt an experimental roleplay therapy to try to learn what's behind the worst case of Napoleon Complex they've ever seen.
-
Will I ever be normal again?
I can't take credit for this, but my favourite caption has to be the leading thread title in the Champers' cabbers. That thread has gotta stay at the top as long as this pic is up.
-
You're such a lovely audience,
We'd like to take you home with us,
We'd love to take you home.
After 20 years of singing about it, Sergeant Pepper finally succumbs to temptation and takes a couple of fangirl groupies home with him. ahahahahah
-
This Week's Fresh Meat!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/blucher.jpg)
-
My alternate caption, for those who will understand it...
Blücher!!!
-
2nd Alternate Caption:
"Sadly, Hefei's First and Only Comedy Club Was Doomed To Failure From the Start."
-
Wait...I like the last caption better than the original, an I'm stickin' wid it. bfbfbfbfbf
-
This sign was posted shortly after a visit by a one-time Seinfeld character.
-
If not the horseplay noisy, then how the horseplay?
-
Wasn't that a Captain Beefheart song?
-
My alternate caption, for those who will understand it...
Blücher!!!
LMAO!!!
-
If not the horseplay noisy, then how the horseplay?
Brilliant...wish I'd thought of that. ROTFLMAO. ahahahahah bkbkbkbkbk
-
It's a mighty-fine find this weeks avatar, keeping me amused for sure.
-
I just noticed the sign says HORSELAUGH, not horseplay. Oh well ee-ther eye-ther
-
I think it means to keep the whores from laughing too loudly. ahahahahah
I just noticed the sign says HORSELAUGH, not horseplay. Oh well ee-ther eye-ther
If horseplay is fun, horselaughs may occur. ahahahahah
-
Ah, ze wheel of ze covair peectures, she keeps always ze turning...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/closeurine.jpg)
-
truth in advertising makes its China debut
-
Welcome to the Golden Showers resort. bbbbbbbbbb
-
Well, I'm all in favour of urinary reform.Anit-corruption measures begin at the most basic levels- I always say, show me a man who pees from a distance, I'll show you an embezzler.
-
I said I want a "groupie" not a "group pee"
-
"So, the next time you're at a public urinal, put your free arm around the waist of the guy using the adjacent spot, pull him close to you, and start talking about your feelings. It'll be no end of civilized!"
-
"The poorly-worded sign didn't really specify what you were supposed to get closer to while urinating, so next time he had to pee Xiao Feng chose to get closer to the crisply-uniformed PSB officer who had been examining everyone's documents and luggage."
-
When planning events for the next Inter-Provincial games, one of the organizers misunderstood the expression "Pissing contest". The rest, as they say, is history.
-
In order to move forward as a civilized country, the Chinese are now promoting "fencing" over the ever-so-popular "sword-fighting."
-
Sociologists at the Beijing Institute for the Promotion of Public Harmony recently began a carefully crafted experiment to test the old adage, "It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."
-
"Yes, it IS civilized to get close to urinate. So next time you're bleeding the ol' lizard at a busy public urinal, put your free arm around the waist of the guy next to you and start telling him about your deepest personal feelings. Everyone will be real impressed by how civilized you are! bfbfbfbfbf "
-
"Yes, it IS civilized to get close to urinate. So next time you're bleeding the ol' lizard at a busy public urinal, put your free arm around the waist of the guy next to you and start telling him about your deepest personal feelings. Everyone will be real impressed by how civilized you are! bfbfbfbfbf "
Wasn't that the first step to the downfall of the Classic Greek Civilization?
-
And no honest man would tinkle from afar.
But a sportsman will poop for distance.
And leave the door ajar.
-
Wasn't that the first step to the downfall of the Classic Greek Civilization?
ClassicAL Greek Civilization?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hoplites.jpg)
Yes...after eventually evolving into a bunch of la-de-da fruit salads, their ancient culture was finally done in by Romans and by a seemingly endless series of filthy, 2-bit hordes coming out of Central Asia. Sadly, I know nothing of the Classical Greek language, written or spoken.
ClassIC Greek Civilization?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/joeflaherty.jpg)
No...Happily, they are still alive and well and with us. I've picked up a phrase or two of Classic Greek, such as "Close de dam door...I got de dam air-conditionin' on!"
(If you'd like to learn a short conversation in Classic Greek, try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxp0_DJotZ8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxp0_DJotZ8))
-
Anyway...up and at 'em, kids!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/frog-earthquake-china.jpg)
-
I remember seeing that picture shortly after the Sichuan earthquake. It was taken a few days before the earthquake struck. Many thought that the frogs' appearance was a pre-indicator of the coming earthquake (something about thermal temperatures below ground were heating up so the frogs migrated).
-
Yeah, here's the article, with the same picture:
http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/05/13/frog-migration-omen-to-china-earthquake-disaster/ (http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/05/13/frog-migration-omen-to-china-earthquake-disaster/)
-
Frogger Fans Take To The Streets, Forget To Release One At A Time.
-
One of the kids on a bike - "20 points each! RAMMING SPEED!!!!"
-
Stupid French restaurant! I knew we shouldn't have answered that help wanted sign
"Ohhh la-de-da, multiple openings, no experience required but you must be a frog"
C'mon buys, lets find that stupid princess
-
Just in time for the end of Passover...
-
After the plagues of silkworms and chickens' feet failed, Moses was sure that this time the frogs would do the trick.
"And if this doesn't work, I'm giving up and moving to Egypt"
And the rest, as they say, is history religion
-
*pop-pop*
*pop-pop pop pop*
*pop pop poppop pop pop*
-
After the plagues of silkworms and chickens' feet failed, Moses was sure that this time the frogs would do the trick.
"And if this doesn't work, I'm giving up and moving to Egypt"
And the rest, as they say, is history religion
uhm, moving to Canaan
-
Hey, did you hear what that dyke frog say to the other lesbian frog?
We do taste like chicken!
-
Later that day, frog baseball was successfully introduced in China.
aaaaaaaaaa
-
Wow...Frog Baseball.
There's a concept I haven't heard in a coon's age... bgbgbgbgbg
-
This reminds me of a late night driving across the Texas panhandle.. pretty sure we ran over about 15 rabbits that night while trying our best to avoid them.
-
The Froggish Empire's conquest of Earth would have been unstoppable, except for the unfortunate selection of France and China to be the initial deployment sites of their ground forces. ahahahahah
-
axaxaxaxax
-
We all know they love to be the biggest,be the best and have the most, but the chinese version of Frogger really took the piss.
-
Damn just realise flip already did the frogger thing.
-
Damn just realise flip already did the frogger thing.
Different spice, different flavour! Which is actually what those bikers must be thinking. iiiiiiiiii
-
One for the boyos. Think you can find some ammo here? uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/condom-show-china09.jpg)
-
Oh, we had some glorious times...but when we'd used her last condom, I dumped her and moved on.
-
Say, wadda ya think I am, a walkin' drug store or sumthin'?
You touch my dress, you better be ready to pay for it, buster.
-
Lawrence Welk, eat your heart out cccccccccc
-
I can hear her now,
"The first guy that fills them all is my future husband!"
-
"Now that I have your full attention dear!"
-
After weeks of research YoYo was surprised to find out that what here mum had always told her was true - drinking dishwashing liquid DOES make you fart bubbles!
-
"But the instructions clearly said to put on condoms before intercourse."
-
How the hell am I supposed to "pull a train" with this getup
(If you don't know what it means, don't look it up)
-
Raoul, this isn't quite what I had in mind when I asked for more Chinese babes in uniforms. ahahahahah
-
Raoul, this isn't quite what I had in mind when I asked for more Chinese babes in uniforms. ahahahahah
Why not, she doesn't need luggage, she's wearing everything she'll need for a trip around the world with me afafafafaf
-
Our new Bar Girl line of dresses makes sure you'll always be prepared no matter how successful your evening is.
-
After years of criticism of its environmental practices, China's bold new initiative takes the 4 R's WAY too far.
-
She's too sexy for her dress
So sexy it's a mess
She's too sexy
-
Just twist the valve and they all fill with helium so you can fly away.
-
Gee, I hated to take that last one down...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Youhere.jpg)
-
No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai
-
I've got a great picture that I think would be perfect for the avatar. How do I get it along to somebody who might be able to do something with it?
-
That's all fine and good, but WHEN am I?
-
Could you be a little more vague?
-
I've got a great picture that I think would be perfect for the avatar. How do I get it along to somebody who might be able to do something with
Email it to Raoul, Tai.
-
That's all fine and good, but WHEN am I?
The time is now.
-
How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all? mmmmmmmmmm
Anyway.
Tai Li and anyone else, just e-mail your picture to me at yochinaraoul@yahoo.com. If I see something I can use in it, I'll run it and acknowledge your help. bjbjbjbjbj
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I want to be there! Stop rubbing it in.
-
How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all? mmmmmmmmmm
Try cloning yourself. It's a great way to be many places at once. ababababab
-
How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all? mmmmmmmmmm
Try cloning yourself. It's a great way to be many places at once. ababababab
Went straight over his head(s), Boss. He is not worthy.
-
Went straight over his head(s), Boss. He is not worthy.
Indeed. ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
-
Went straight over his head(s), Boss. He is not worthy.
Indeed. ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
Just because you guys aren't anywhere at all doesn't mean that I can't be two places at once. asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas
-
Can we truly trust the accuracy of such a sign? A broken clock is right twice per day. That sign is only right when you and the sign are in proximity to each other. If you leave, the sign probably does not change to say "You are not here." (Video surveillance when no one is in the sign's presence may be needed to reduce the chances pf any Schrodinger-esque observation issues further complicating the problem.)
A much more accurate version would state something like:
If you are reading this sign, then you are probably fairly close to it.
-
But what if the sign was not here when you read it but there instead? You could have been there, but there's no proof that you are all here or you are all there?
Just to prove it to you EL, hasn't anyone asked you if you are all there? mmmmmmmmmm
uuuuuuuuuu
-
All I want for this sign is a small arrow under the main message, marked "Complaints"...
And don't fret, EL. You are adept in the ways of Marx (Groucho) and Lennon (John), yet your education remains sadly incomplete. But don't give up...quid Marlburgh im Plano, If you push something hard enough, it will fall over , end quote. Perhaps if you'll stand on that yellow rubber line there, you can get to More Science High School! Oops! A:/The System is less energetic when domains of alternate direction alternate. Oh well, you didn't Beat The Reaper. Check his body paint, Old34- faded San Francisco Art Nouveau! Let's do him a favor and send him in for re-grooving.
Shoes for Industry, compadre. agagagagag
-
But what if the sign was not here when you read it but there instead? You could have been there, but there's no proof that you are all here or you are all there?
Just to prove it to you EL, hasn't anyone asked you if you are all there? mmmmmmmmmm
uuuuuuuuuu
I pride myself in never being all anywhere. ahahahahah
Optimally then, the signs should be everywhere and say "If you can read this, then you are probably close enough to read it. If you can't read this, then maybe you are too far away to read it or perhaps you are illiterate."
-
So ... I am "HUR"... not "him"...not "Thur"..."HUR" Cool!! bfbfbfbfbf
-
Everybody has got to be somewhere...............and you are here!
-
Optimally then, the signs should be everywhere and say "If you can read this, then you are probably close enough to read it. If you can't read this, then maybe you are too far away to read it or perhaps you are illiterate."
You mean something like this?
-
Optimally then, the signs should be everywhere and say "If you can read this, then you are probably close enough to read it. If you can't read this, then maybe you are too far away to read it or perhaps you are illiterate."
You mean something like this?
Love it!!!!
-
What happens when you cross Jerzy Kosinski with Jean-Paul Sartre?
Being There and Nothingness
-
I can't read Chinese, hell, I can barely read English. But has anyone noticed how that last character looks like E.T.? Maybe that's the reason for the sign
-
So what's you are saying DD is that the sign actually reads:
'Your position is ET'?
-
I can't read Chinese, hell, I can barely read English. But has anyone noticed how that last character looks like E.T.? Maybe that's the reason for the sign
Ha, I finally looked at the character and it really DOES look like ET, arms extended.
-
So what's you are saying DD
Oh nice use of the language there Cassandra... jeebus bibibibibi
-
So what's you are saying DD is that the sign actually reads:
'Your position is ET'?
So, first you can't spell, now your grammar is suspect. One more flub and you'll be just as good as our managers (they are foreigners bibibibibi)
ahahahahah
Actually my position is reverse cowgirl BUT only when (as the sign says) you are here
-
bkbkbkbkbk
-
I always like this one:(http://www.musictreasures.com/catalog_resized/Media/331154.jpg)
-
The world was supposed to end on May 21st, but I'm still here.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? mmmmmmmmmm
-
No you're not, you are there. You should be here
There. Bad
Here. Good
bfbfbfbfbf
-
New photo. Technical problems with the caption, though, under repair...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/pondcarrier.jpg)
-
Size DOES matter
-
At least they can't sink us
-
In an amazing legislative coup during these times of tight budgets, the State of Oklahoma gets a new Navy base, complete with a nuclear powered aircraft carrier, the Raoul Duke.
-
Chinese remake of Philadelphia Experiment... Working title "Turn it around stupid."
-
DONGGUAN: Lunatic and Dragon Boat Fanatic Surprises Village.
-
You know, I don't mind tking the boat acros the lake, its that 3Million RMB toll that's a bitch
-
Although it looked like those living on the northern shore had the advantage, the fleet of submarines dispatched from the southern shore soon changed the equation.
-
"There!" said comrade Wang, with a smile of smug satisfaction. "My son went to Beida, his son went to Oxford. I bought a Ferrari, he bought a helicopter. I bought my wife a fur coat, he bought his Ming dynasty jewelry. Let him top this!"
-
Geologists predict extensive oceanification within thirty millennia: China plans ahead.
-
I thought that global warming was supposed to mean the water level would rise!!??
Chinalin
Zhaoqing, Guangdong.
bxbxbxbxbx
-
Chinese remake of Philadelphia Experiment... Working title "Turn it around stupid."
ahahahahah
This has got to be the best front page picture ever.
-
I totally agree bjbjbjbjbj agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
-
You sank my battleship!
-
I'm hoping this was the Simpsons quote ahahahahah
-
CHINA DEVELOPS NEW STEALTH CARRIER: guaranteed never to be seen on the ocean
-
There's no debating who's the biggest fish in that pond.
-
Excuse me m'am. Is this the way to Qingdao?
-
Don't just stand there. Start digging a canal to the ocean!
-
Man, when they said there's a water shortage, they weren't kidding
-
He bought a 4 bedroom house, so I bought a 6 bedroom house.
He bought a Cadillac, so I bought a Mercedes.
He married a 25 year old blond, so I married a 22 year old redhead.
He went skiing in the Rockies, so I went skiing in the Alps.
He's just bought a new boat and now I don't know what to do.
-
He bought a 4 bedroom house, so I bought a 6 bedroom house.
He bought a Cadillac, so I bought a Mercedes.
He married a 25 year old blond, so I married a 22 year old redhead.
He went skiing in the Rockies, so I went skiing in the Alps.
He's just bought a new boat and now I don't know what to do.
Buy the lake and drain it ahahahahah
-
Although I travel through the valley of death, I fear no evil.
-
Bill Gates. If you liked his toy boat, wait until you see how big his new rubber ducky is.
-
New Cover. Get weird. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/fishkiss.jpg)
-
These mixed relationships never work out
(hey boss, I didn't realize I gave you that pic too)
-
Hate to admit it, but I would still do her, EVEN if she insisted on holding onto the fish the whole time.
-
Germany: a boot of beer
China: a fish of baijiu.
-
Oh, so THAT was what that smell was.
-
if eating crackers wasn't enough, mei mei thought this would do the trick
-
Not the bass, silly, the bass player!
-
There are two things that smell of fish and one of them is fish afafafafaf
-
Hmph! Look at that stupid girl. She really believes that if she kisses that fish, it will turn into a handsome Prince. bibibibibi
-
There are two things that smell of fish and one of them is fish afafafafaf
bkbkbkbkbk
-
Some fish have all the luck.
-
you should have seen the one that got away
-
Hmph! Look at that stupid girl. She really believes that if she kisses that fish, it will turn into a handsome Prince. bibibibibi
And then the frog turned into a handsome fish and they lived happily ever after. ahahahahah
-
Hang on a sec - she's got bunny ears. Could that be our very own AMonk passionately kissing that fish? mmmmmmmmmm
If so, I'm even more jealous of that lucky fish! asasasasas
-
Hang on a sec - she's got bunny ears. Could that be our very own AMonk passionately kissing that fish? mmmmmmmmmm
aoaoaoaoao NO WAY!!!! I'm fair-haired ababababab and happily married akakakakak
-
If you guys like that pic that I took, you should see the pic the fish took of Miss Bunny Ears kissing me
OHH LA LA
-
It's rarely discussed publicly, but there's a long tradition of both men and women having relationships with female fish. George Gershwin even alluded to it in the operetta Porgy and Bass , especially in the song Bass, You Is My Woman Now . adadadadad
-
Billy the Big Mouth Bass enjoying retirement in China!
bhbhbhbhbh
-
I wish
I wish
I wish I was that fish
-
'Caviar Emptor'
-
Little do you guys know that Little Miss Bunny is really Cassandra and she's just trying to make me jealous
and its working
-
Jealous I look so good in tin foil?
-
Jealous I look so good in tin foil?
Definitely. Have you seen how tacky Day Dreamer's tinfoil dress is?
-
No but I can believe that... ahahahahah
-
I don't know about you, but that's the last time I order blowfish bibibibibi
-
Jealous I look so good in tin foil?
fish
hot chick
tin foil
Only thing missing is the BBQ and cold beers
-
I knew I had to blow my date but not his dinner too
-
O, that I were a scale upon that fish, That I might touch that cheek!
-
Mmmmm beer.
Where can that fish be?
It is a most elusive fish!
And it went wherever I did go.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
That went wherever I did go.
-
Miss Qingdao stumbled in the Question and Answer round, but won the crowd back with her rousing rendition of "Superstar" on her custom-built trombone.
-
Little Mei Mei kept confusing Carpe Diem with seize the carp
-
I was talking about strange fads to my students.
I made the mistake of mentioning live goldfish swallowing.
They said they could do that, only bigger and better.
Now their families are suing me for negligent homicide.
-
Chinese equivalent of "If ... happens, I'll eat my hat."
-
The Pearl River piranha has a unique method of luring its prey. First, the victim is hypnotized and given an uncontrollable desire to hold the fish and kiss it.
-
"My God, its hideous! I'll kiss it, but if it gives me the tongue, I'm going to throw up!"
said the fish
-
Earth Girls Are Easy.
-
Actually, she wasn't that easy, until I mentioned that I spawn in north america. Then it was "How soon can you get me a green card?"
-
Nobody's watching this, right? I wouldn't want my wife to see me kissing another girl
-
This cigar tastes fishy
-
What? You mean this isn't a kissing fish!?!
-
The Incredible Mr. Limpet makes his triumphant return
-
Bunny, the Little Mermaid's little sister just announced her engagement.
-
I don't know Doc.A couple of days ago it was just a pimple. Now I have great trouble trying to swim with this hanging from my lip.
-
haha! bkbkbkbkbk
-
in honour of dragonboat festival allow me to feed you some rice. I have already chewed it for you. afafafafaf
-
Their forbidden romance was filled with passion and excitement. It came to a tragic end when her parents misunderstood her when she said she was bringing home a surprise for dinner and they cooked him.
-
bkbkbkbkbk
ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
-
Damn, I knew there was fish scales in lipstick, but this Passion Poisson goes over the top
-
Another sad tale of a bored and lonely housewife getting involved with an immoral fish while her husband works at a factory in another province.
-
The new one. Sorry to be late. I was...detained.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/womensurinal.jpg)
-
I'm so happy you escaped to give us something new. agagagagag I loved the fish pic, but the new headers for it were beginning to flounder. ahahahahah
To boldly go where no woman has gone before.
-
Oh my Lady Kaka!
-
So this device can be found in the first room as opposed to the second?
-
Damn! I don't read Chinese. Am I in the right toilet? bibibibibi
-
160 kwai for a poop? that's damned expensive even for the Ritz.
-
That's not where you ladies wash your face is it?
:wtf:
-
Maybe this is in the restroom for Thai lady-boys. ahahahahah
-
What's wrong with a fem-funnel...?
http://www.mec.ca/Products/product_detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524441931845&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302695889
-
A new way to stand up for women's rights!
-
You mean stand up for you sit down rights
bibibibibi
-
I wonder if using one of these would make the user feel flushed with success. mmmmmmmmmm
-
when being fired in China call 119, firemen need entertainment too.
-
Looks like El Hefe forgot to post the pic here.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/firemen.jpg)
"Hello, my company just announced layoffs and I'm being fired. The sign said to call 119."
-
Having trouble getting that building burned down? Call Zhao Qing Fire Services and we'll torch it for you for reasonable rates. Here at Zhao Qing, our motto is "If it can be burned, we'll burn it for you!"
-
Didn't forget...I was still fine-tuning the photo when you knuckleheads started posting. uuuuuuuuuu
-
Actually, I'm a little surprised. I'd have thought that the firemen would have hotter suggestions. But hey, what do I know
-
10. 跳舞青年会费100元/消防员
Dancing to YMCA costs 100 rmb/fireman
-
It's bizarre how often the Village People raise their heads here.
Is that really what it says?
My MDBG translator says just that, but unfortunately Her Indoors has got the strange idea that these avatars are taking the piss out of Chinese people, and so refuses to help me here.
-
Conversely, if your office is on fire, you should play computer games, ask the blonde from Finance out on a date and purposely f**k up your job role for your successor, before calmly leaving the building in 4 week's time.
-
Attention Ladies! Our hot firemen have some warm suggestions to heat up your nights. Give us a call and we'll rush right over and rescue you from a cold and lonely evening. They are guaranteed to light your fire. afafafafaf
It's bizarre how often the Village People raise their heads here.
The bizarre part is that I (who proudly live in a village) am not the only one bringing them up. Makes me wonder what excuse anyone else has. ahahahahah
-
My excuse: I've just been playing YMCA - no, really!
Can anyone give a full translation of the warm suggestions, please?
-
Can anyone give a full translation of the warm suggestions, please?
I'd love to, but . . .
I never learned how to read! I'm illiterate. ananananan ananananan ananananan
-
I'm illiterate. ananananan ananananan ananananan
Your parents were never married?
Or was your dad one of the firemen?
-
Oh, I'm a fireman and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
I swing around brass poles and
dance to YMCA
he's a fireman and he's OK
he sleeps all night and he works all day
he swings around brass poles and
dances YMCA
Oh, I'm a fireman and I'm just fine
I eat my quiche with a dry white wine
beneath my rubber suit I've
silk undies with spagghetti strings
Putting out your fire buys me life's finer things!
-
eeeeeeeeee axaxaxaxax ayayayayay bnbnbnbnbn bnbnbnbnbn
-
That's great lfd, you should put it to music, maybe wear a
lumberjack's fireman's outfit.
ayayayayay
Now that's something completely different
-
Can anyone give a full translation of the warm suggestions, please?
I'd love to, but . . .
I never learned how to read! I'm illiterate. ananananan ananananan ananananan
I was about to say, 'you silly bastard', but Day Dreamer beat me to the post.
-
Oh, I'm a fireman and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
I swing around brass poles and
dance to YMCA
<snip>
You just made me homesick!
-
Oh, I'm a fireman and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
I swing around brass poles and
dance to YMCA
<snip>
You just made me homesick!
For your job at the fire department? mmmmmmmmmm
-
All warm suggestions, by firemen, gratefully received. uuuuuuuuuu (Except from two of my brothers who have retired from the Fire Brigade in Townsville)
-
Oh, I'm a fireman and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
I swing around brass poles and
dance to YMCA
<snip>
You just made me homesick!
For your job at the fire department? mmmmmmmmmm
No, back home I was a lumberjack.
-
Her Indoors has got the strange idea that these avatars are taking the piss out of Chinese people, and so refuses to help me here.
Yowtch! aoaoaoaoao
Geez, I hope you can get her past that notion, because...we're not.
(Well, not usually, anyway. But we take the piss out of EVERYONE sooner or later 'round here. uuuuuuuuuu )
Tell her sometimes the English usage in China is so bad we have to laugh at it...but this is a good-natured foreign-language thing happening worldwide, not really aimed at the Chinese. We just happen to nearly all live or have lived in China, so it's the place we're interested in.
Sometimes the real butt of the jokes is the laowai, not the Chinese.
You can tell her that said laowai quite often don't seem to pick up on this fact. uuuuuuuuuu
And...sometimes, when you visit another country that requires such a vast cultural shift, you quite often see things you have absolutely no hope of understanding. After a while, developing lunatic theories about what those things might mean becomes sort of a fun little game you play. This isn't being insulting, it's coming to terms with our own foreignness.
Hope those help. agagagagag
-
She's been around me and my friends for a good few years. So you'd think she'd see the other side.
But she's Chinese!
I'll tell you a true story:
"My grandfather and grandmother owned lots of land. They were very rich. When I was maybe 2 years old they killed my grandfather, and my grandmother put herself into a deep well and died. Now we are just normal good people."
Duke, I try.
But you know how nationalistic and sensitive people are.
She now thinks the English are filthy scum (with good reason, I should add, and can't understand how we came to rule half the world and teach the Yanks how to speak proper.
Oh, the pleasures of marrying into the CP!!
-
)
-
And...sometimes, when you visit another country that requires such a vast cultural shift, you quite often see things you have absolutely no hope of understanding. After a while, developing lunatic theories about what those things might mean becomes sort of a fun little game you play.
There's nothing lunatic about my theories! ahahahahah
-
I wanna order number 4. Anything with ass in the name can't be all bad can it? :lickass:
-
This is why the first 100 characters I learned to read were common on menus.
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/menu2.jpg)
Mmmmnnnn... sauced justice and roast heef. I'll take a plate of both of those.
-
I'm pretty sure the last is a command or direction, EL. There are a bunch of Budhass human relations in the kitchen, and I want you and your clones to get in there and roast the heef out of 'em!
-
bkbkbkbkbk
-
Those shedding sour beans are so vain I bet they think this menu's about them.
-
I think Paul has a babecue doesn't he? ababababab
-
You know you've found a peach of a pic when no captions are needed - great avatar this week agagagagag
-
You know you've found a peach of a pic when no captions are needed - great avatar this week agagagagag
Do you want that with gieen pepper or with Wind of Europe?
-
I want it with some human relations afafafafaf
-
Please be careful on #2, those sour beans do not iron think as much as you'd hope
-
This week's pic is here...like you. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/YouareHere.jpg)
-
Obviously this map is meant for EL and his clones
-
You can ask God for many things; just don't ask him for directions.
-
You are everywhere and nowhere all at once. Wasn't that a Bob Dylan song?
-
Ha ha! can I ask where this was taken?
-
It was taken here, of course
-
Obviously this map is meant for EL and his clones
At last, clone rights have been extended to maps. ahahahahah
-
if you can smell the washroom you are here, if you just parked your car you are here, if you are talking to a policeman you are here, but if you parked your car over there then you are here, if you parked your car on the sidewalk, then we don't know where you are but just follow your nose to the smell and you will be here.
-
Finally! Proof that God exists, since it's a special map for a being that can truly be everywhere at once. yyyyyyyyyy
Then again, if you are everywhere at once, why would you need a map. bibibibibi
-
just because he's omnipresent and omniscient doesn't mean she can remember where he left his keys.
-
At least we know this map wasn't written by any of my students, it didn't say;
"you is here"
or
"you were here tomorrow"
-
Nah Dylan's one is "I'm not there".
-
Actually, from a quantum mechanics perspective, that map could well be correct... yyyyyyyyyy
-
from a quantum perspective, so could the students
-
bkbkbkbkbk
-
Actually, from a quantum mechanics perspective, that map could well be correct... yyyyyyyyyy
Depends on which quantum issue you are dealing with.
If your location is unobserved and determined by a quantum phenomenon, then you could be anywhere - until you are observed. That would make this a map of the locations of Schrodinger's cat.
If you are subject to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, we might know where you are, but not exactly when.
Ff you are experimenting with your new home made quantum-based teleportation device, you might end up being spread all over the map. Of course, that would be just a little bit messy.
-
Depends on which quantum issue you are dealing with.
Oh, doesn't it always? llllllllll
I can't take a shower without six or seven of those Higgs bosons jumping in with me. They're in my kitchen cupboard now, eating all me Mum's jam!
-
I can't take a shower without six or seven of those Higgs bosons jumping in with me.
You too? I thought it was just me with that issue. ahahahahah
That and I've got this nasty problem with neutrinos zipping right through my body without even asking permission. I feel SOOOO violated. amamamamam
-
Time for a new picture, I've been here before
ahahahahah
-
It's the age old question.
Why are we here?
-
It's the age old question.
Why are we here?
At least we've solved the question of location. No matter where you go, there you are.
-
It's the age old question.
Why are we here?
Not exactly, more like;
Why are we here,
and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here
-
DD you are really being very silly today bibibibibi
-
I'm not being silly there, just here
-
Sorry I'm running late...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/naughtyspread.jpg)
-
Oooooh... me, a pool and twenty, beautiful, twenty-something Chinese girls. bfbfbfbfbf Would I be spreading myself to thin?
-
Sorry I'm running late...
For the pool party? Waaheeey! afafafafaf
-
Last one in isn't naughty!
-
Cass, that was my joke! <lame follow-through> You can call me latefordinner, but not the pool party.
cruisemonk: better spread than dead.
-
Cass, that was my joke!
Got to get up pretty early in the morning (at least while I'm in another time zone) to get a lame joke in before me...
ahahahahah
-
I have finally found Cassnadra's place
-
Swimming suits optional. Condoms required. afafafafaf
-
I prefer the choc-hazelnut spread pool...
(I just saw what you wrote DD... cheeky sod...:P )
-
Which way to
Cassnadra's place the Naughty Choc-Hazelnut Pool? afafafafaf
-
ahahahahah
-
I suppose this is where the expression "skinny-dip" becomes an oxymoron
-
I prefer the choc-hazelnut spread pool...
(I just saw what you wrote DD... cheeky sod...:P )
Be careful what you say or the next time I see you, you just might get a swift kiss in the mouth
:lickass:
-
Though moderated more loosely than most, this is in fact an on-topic area.
Why don't you two kids find a room or something? uuuuuuuuuu
-
As the sign says, we're just being naughty as we spread pool? What's the problem, You don't like chocolate spread on your naughty pool?
-
Ohh, quit peeking through your fingers and live a little. So they found a pool to spread their naughtiness around in. Grab a fistful of chocolate and spread it on yer pool cue, you naughty boy. Maybe find someone naughty to help you
-
ahahahahah
-
Is is where we all bet naughty actions and the winner gets to collect? mmmmmmmmmm
-
New unit!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/massage_LT.jpg)
Do men in Wales have...you know...special problems ? mmmmmmmmmm
-
If I was the Prince of Wales, I'd figure any sexual function obstacle could be overcome by simply putting a bag over Camilla's head (and perhaps one over my own as well - in case hers fell off).
-
I'll have the lot... and don't skimp on the pâté.
-
bkbkbkbkbk
Hollander lady style? mmmmmmmmmm Sounds suspiciously like Thai lady boy.
-
Dutch lady boys are taller...
-
At last the trainers at Sea World now have a place to take their sexually dysfunctional whales for treatment.
-
EL, you just reminded me of a terrirfic book titled The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove.
Well it's not a whale, but it does seek help for sexual dysfunction. (Not getting any qualifies as dysfunction, no?)
Swimming back to the, umm, wish list, I'm having trouble imagining a whale (or depressed sea-monster) swimming up to the side of the pool and saying to the woman in the starched white uniform, "What shall we have today?"
-
Hollander Lady Style =?= Xaviera Hollander (aka the Happy Hooker) uuuuuuuuuu
Wale Sexual Function Obstacle aoaoaoaoao sent down 4 skin divers to circumcise :wtf:
-
Isn't muscovite a variety of duck? mmmmmmmmmm
-
Isn't muscovite a variety of duck?
That's Muscovy, dear. agagagagag
-
Accounting for misspellings, we've got a place that provides help for whale sexual dysfunction and also offers the services of Russian "ducks" and Dutch Lady Boys.
Guess I'll take my chances with the whole body massage and a side order of Forecast Life just to find out what the hell that is.
-
Guess I'll take my chances with the whole body massage and a side order of Forecast Life just to find out what the hell that is.
Go for the 'Forecast Life' first... because I'm pretty sure he/she will predict there's a massage with a 'happy ending' in your future. bjbjbjbjbj
-
Oh, my... kkkkkkkkkk
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/toilet-chinglish.jpg)
-
No rush, don't push, there's room for everyone.
(Love to see this on the side of a bus near the door)
-
Hey, if you gotta go, you gotta go.
-
Hey, if you gotta go, you gotta go.
Squat's that you say?
-
In that case I shall sitpede!
-
It is squat it is
-
What a poo-nitive rule.
-
Upon reading the sign, Comrade Deng thought, "Oh crap!"
-
Last one in is a silly sausage!
Please do not wash your hair in the toilet!
-
Public safety officials were forced to add warning signs against stampeding after numerous deaths and injuries occurred during the latest outbreak of diarrhea sweeping the province.
-
Gimme two, extra fuzzy...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/beedogs.jpg)
-
The mystery surrounding the disappearance of bees across the country has been solved.
-
Can I have a wasp one instead?
-
To Bee or not to Bee, that is the question!
-
They're not bad (but I hate picking the little wings out of my teeth afterward). I hear they're coming out with a Africanized bee dog soon that's 'killer delicious' - 'to die for'!
-
(Tulsa) Local man arrested for tampering with restaurant sign. ahahahahah
-
Local man arrested for tampering with restaurant sign
I doan kair whut thay say where yew cumfrum. In Tulsa, if they's premium bee-dawgs, they's NEW bee-dawgs! Nun o' thet thar Old-Bee Hawt-Dog Guar fer us!
-
To Bee or not to Bee, that is the question!
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stings and arrows of outrageous fortune ahahahahah
-
Another one of Bill's -
Look like the innocent flower,
But bee the serpent under it.
-
1.99 New Premium Bee Hot Dogs
Make it a combo with French Flies and and refreshing glass of Roach-A-Cola for only one dollar more.
-
Meanwhile, apologies for the long run on this one. I been ill. ananananan
I'll change it as we get into the weekend again...
-
Raoul's digestion got stung by one too many bee hot dogs.
-
Aaand here 'tis at last...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/trucktruck.jpg)
-
Public truck orgies - the newest shamefully decadent western perversion sweeping the nation. kkkkkkkkkk
-
Sweet propinquity. A friend just sent me an email with pictures taken all over Asia of overcrowded and overloaded trains and motorcycles and such. (No baby in a bucket though) I can send this back to him.
EL: as the lonely little car pulled by the great, sweaty truck, it thought it heard someone mutter "wanker" under his breath.
-
For the first six months after they are born, the mother truck carries her babies on her back. After that, they are big enough to roll on their own.
-
Public truck orgies - the newest shamefully decadent western perversion sweeping the nation. kkkkkkkkkk
For the first six months after they are born, the mother truck carries her babies on her back. After that, they are big enough to roll on their own.
ahahahahah What a great way to start the day- Thanks for the laugh EL!
-
At last!!! Someone appreciates me around here. ababababab
-
EL
:respect:
-
Count me in there too EL. agagagagag bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah. Who else could think of anything as funny about this "Monster cluster-F**k" of a truck. agagagagag
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Thanks ladies! Luv ya all!!! akakakakak akakakakak akakakakak
After going purse shopping with his lovely wife one too many times, EL went truck shopping. ahahahahah
(But darling, they gave me a BIG discount for buying so many.)
-
Oh so that's how monster trucks are conceived...
-
No, little jeep, the stork didn't find you under a cabbage. Your daddy and I went to a factory in Changhchun for our holiday and 9 months later
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If you think this is bad, you should see the trucks coming from the Hunan ship yards. ahahahahah
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Oy vey... bibibibibi
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chineseagogo.jpg)
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This is so heavenly that I don't want to spoil it with unnecessary verbiage akakakakak
-
'Tis indeed a treasure. I especially like the "Zhong Guo A Ko Ko" in Chinese. ahahahahah
Wish I had that album...
-
Featuring Prince's hit song Party like it's 1949!
-
Great. I go back to teaching and this comes out. Now all my students are going to ask me about ah-ko-ko style. "You did this when you were in uni?" "Yup, when we weren't out hunting dinosaurs" "Can you teach us?"
-
Booker T and the Meng Jie's. Green Lanterns.
(Bang Bang (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6waBZrcnrM).)
-
Uncle Bertie has some competition! If I ever open a bar, this will be hung out front.
-
Definitely. agagagagag
In nearly 8 years of running this dog's head, I've spent innumerable hours hunting down many hundreds of images for potential use as our cover photo.
But I'm not at all sure ANY of them can hold a candle to this little gem. bjbjbjbjbj
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Show your revolutionary fervor and dance for a harmonious motherland! :candyraver:
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Gee, I hate to take that last one down. ananananan
But, time marches on. Just take it and leave me alone. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/badwords.jpg)
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Notice to all of our special girls. The proper phrase is "Think of the super quality, the price is quite reasonable.", not "No money, no touch." afafafafaf
-
And now, the full conversation using the recommended words.
Welcome to our market. Can I help you?
Yes. I'm looking for a condom. How much is one?
What price are you willing to pay?
What's the difference between the cheap ones and the expensive ones?
The price depends on the quality.
OK. Let me try this one on. What do you think?
Wonderful, and it fits you perfectly!
It fits ok, but I'm not sure I like the style. Here, how does this one look on me?
Looks as though it was made only for you.
I do like the style a lot.
You have good taste. You have made a good choice.
It's a bit expensive.
Think of the super quality, the price is quite reasonable.
Oh, I see this style comes in different colors. How does this one look on me?
The color and design goes well your shape.
I need to test it in action. Can I try it out with you?
It's my pleasure to help you.
Wow! Not only a good fit, but it's so comfortable during use. I'll take it.
Welcome back again.
-
Oh, my. Have the funs. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/shitfire.jpg)
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"Moving to Sichuan Province Takes Some Adjustment."
-
An homage to my first week back in China...
-
Holy crap aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
La duzi extraordinare bibibibibi
-
This week's avatar sponsored by Pepto Bismal. ahahahahah
-
A Johnny Cash fan?....."Ring of fire" ahahahahah
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Massage + ….. Extras - 250rmb
-
I don't know the specifics of this pic, but that's Haruhi and Ultraman - Japanese, not Chinese.
-
What is the Matrix? WHO CARES! GIVE HER THE BLUE PILL!! THE BLUUUUUUUUUUUUE!
*glub*
-
The X Men's latest recruit is universally feared by friend and foe alike.
-
My good buddy, who has me out of a couple of jams, designed a superhero crew of Japanese schoolgirls. One of them had the ability to light her farts with catastrophic results, and this line began with action figures to introduce the comic.
I desperately hope that this is his work; otherwise someone else has plagiarizes the dear man.
-
La Brown Girl never achieved the same widespread popularity as her blue cousin. ahahahahah ahahahahah
-
After thousands of years of dreams and wishes, now anyone can fly under their own power. It just takes the right combination of spicy Hunan and Sichuan dishes at dinner the night before.
-
A rare serious one this week...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/911.jpg)
NOT joking about this one would be appreciated.
-
There's some solace in routine...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Super-Bikini-1.gif)
-
Beijing is already looking at possible new events in its bid for the 2020 Olympics.
-
Competition for college admissions in China is getting tougher.
-
Quick-set concrete wrestling. Two girls enter. One girl leaves (maybe). ahahahahah
-
Fresh meat, courtesy of Da Bunny!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/dozers.jpg)
-
"In China, you gotta use whatever connections you got..."
-
I've seen girls that have arses that would be considered "wide loads" but this is too much.
-
My Dad said get him to the Church, no matter how you do it! bfbfbfbfbf
-
Recent developments have exposed new ways to get married for couples that really DIG each other.
Ahem.
bjbjbjbjbj
-
Local officials didn't quite understand the directive to help couples build stronger marriages.
(DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!! Why didn't I think of that for my wedding? ananananan)
-
He was such a great catch that she just had to scoop him up.
-
The wedding procession from the steamroller factory didn't go quite so well. ahahahahah
-
Photo taken just before being placed upon the largest wedding cake in human history.
-
"I thought the house would be built BEFORE we got home."
or, "There will be no nookie until you build the house."
-
Photo taken just before being placed upon the largest wedding cake in human history.
Which was naturally called . . .
The Great Wedding Cake of China
cecececece
-
Ever wonder if a guy could literally be bulldozed into marriage? mmmmmmmmmm
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This week's photo. Line 'em up, kids! bpbpbpbpbp
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/weird_asia_02.jpg)
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I think that's how the video I posted for members started. At least it did in my mind. uuuuuuuuuu
-
With the exception of a couple of mutations, EL's latest cloning project was wildly successful. agagagagag
-
Edited slightly with Skitch.
-
Zesty Pickles in the Smurf Village.
-
Own up! Who tried to rip the skirts off the girls 2nd and 5th from the left?
-
I would do each and every one of them.
-
I would do each and every one of them.
You can have the two big green ones. I'll taking the matching ones wearing boots.
-
ZAP! uuuuuuuuuu
-
Two government officials pose for a photo after "inspecting" the Shanzhai LV girls and products.
-
LV Troops and their new alien overlords are now prepared seize total victory in the designer handbag war.
-
The famous conjoined Zhang Dodecatuplets make their social debut.
-
The new cloning process proved to have a slight, but enjoyable, glitch.
-
When EL Enterprises merged with a European fashion house, few forsaw the dramatic effect that clone technology would have on the fashion business. However, the new line of Escaped Looney Futon wear is currently taking Guangdong like a tropical storm, and is expected to spread all over China next year.
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Wheeeeeee!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/greatwaterslide.jpg)
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For those who like to deeply analyze all our cover photos: I think they used Photoshop. ahahahahah
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"The Great Waterslide of China was very effective at keeping out the Mongol hordes, who couldn't afford admission...not to mention the concessions."
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I'd like to introduce you all to my newest business venture. I call it the Great WaterWall of China.
axaxaxaxax axaxaxaxax axaxaxaxax axaxaxaxax
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For those who like to deeply analyze all our cover photos: I think they used Photoshop. ahahahahah
It was a simple matter of changing the colour of the urine to blue.
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I can't top that one, Stil. bkbkbkbkbk
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For those who like to deeply analyze all our cover photos: I think they used Photoshop. ahahahahah
It was a simple matter of changing the colour of the urine to blue.
Hmmmnn... makes me wonder what's up with the Yellow River. aoaoaoaoao
-
Ought to be lots of play in this one...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/makebaby.jpg)
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Damnit. That's where all my wife's friends and family want us to go even though we've already got a perfect daughter.
-
Come out, if you don't want to! :wtf: ahahahahah bfbfbfbfbf agagagagag
-
Come out, if you don't want to! :wtf: ahahahahah bfbfbfbfbf agagagagag
ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
Along those same lines: Entrance in the rear for those who don't want to.
-
Good one, Piglet! agagagagag
-
Didn't somebody tell these people that bhbhbhbhbh isn't just for procreation anymore. afafafafaf
-
This shop makes most of its profit in DVD sales.
-
This shop makes most of its profit in DVD sales.
and/or they rent guys out to single mom wannabees. ahahahahah
-
Kevin Bloody Wilson: "Any mothers out there? Any women who want to be?"
-
Achtung, Baby!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chinazi.jpg)
-
Keep your chin up darling and just think about the money we are being paid to look like this!
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Join the 4th Reich today! hhhhhhhhhh
You get a cool uniform and also your very own persocom.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cd/Chobites_volume_1_cover.jpg)
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Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fraulein. akakakakak
-
does anyone know the story behind that?
you'd have to be some sort of prick to dress up as a gestapo even in fun imo
I wonder what would happen if you walked around Nanjing dressed as a Japanese Imperial officer....
-
Vee haf vays of making you talk!
-
Not too sure on the story, but these are apparently real wedding photos. aoaoaoaoao
See more at http://www.chinahush.com/2011/09/13/wedding-photos-in-nazi-uniform-criticized-by-netizens/ (http://www.chinahush.com/2011/09/13/wedding-photos-in-nazi-uniform-criticized-by-netizens/)
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So his explains the stormtroopers I saw during my wedding photo shoot in the bamboo grove next to the lake. And to think all this time I thought I must have been hallucinating. zzzzzzzzzz iiiiiiiiii
-
just wondering if it's a good idea to have some prick dressed in the uniform of one of the most evil types of soldiers of the past century as the front page image for this forum
to be honest I don't think it's funny....
-
kitano, I understand what you are saying. Who knows what motivates someone to dress like this on such a special day. bibibibibi At the link Raoul gave us, I see that most people did not like the guy wearing that uniform. One thing it did though, was to remind us what happened. Let us never forget!
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It worked for the characters in "The Producers". Maybe some are too young to remember the 1968 film, but it was remade within the last few years, I think.
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Well, I see the fun part but if I were a newbie who had just clicked on a link to the Saloon, all I would see would be the swastika and click away. That is indeed one if the most tasteless wedding pictures I have ever seen.
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That is indeed one if the most tasteless wedding pictures I have ever seen.
Why oh why didn't someone tell me that there was a contest for most tasteless Chinese wedding photos? I could have tried so much harder. ananananan ananananan ananananan
-
EL:
Why oh why didn't someone tell me that there was a contest for most tasteless Chinese wedding photos? I could have tried so much harder.
Seems to be the norm, don't it?
I thought the wedding photos of my wife and I riding the kiddie train were pretty juvenile too, but I went along with it because it was camp. This however I would have passed on.
-
EL: Why oh why didn't someone tell me that there was a contest for most tasteless Chinese wedding photos? I could have tried so much harder.
Seems to be the norm, don't it?
I thought the wedding photos of my wife and I riding the kiddie train were pretty juvenile too, but I went along with it because it was camp. This however I would have passed on.
I'm sure if we tried really hard, we could have come up with something even more tasteless. agagagagag
-
I wonder if they'd let you dress as Hirohito and his wife?
-
If the couple were Korean, they'd be having the reception at the local, 'Nazi Bar'.
My Korean middle school students (boys) would pull threads out of their school uniform jackets to 'make' swastika patterns on the back. The K teachers saw nothing wrong with it.
-
If the couple were Korean, they'd be having the reception at the local, 'Nazi Bar'.
My Korean middle school students (boys) would pull threads out of their school uniform jackets to 'make' swastika patterns on the back. The K teachers saw nothing wrong with it.
To be fair to the Korean teachers; swastikas are a lot older than Nazi Germany. They are a symbol of good luck in India. i see them carved into school desks here sometimes. The teachers (and students) don't have a western sensibility toward the symbol.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swastika
Of course the guy in the photo in wearing a Nazi uniform.
To be fair to you. I have no idea what a Nazi bar in Korea is.
-
If the couple were Korean, they'd be having the reception at the local, 'Nazi Bar'.
My Korean middle school students (boys) would pull threads out of their school uniform jackets to 'make' swastika patterns on the back. The K teachers saw nothing wrong with it.
To be fair to the Korean teachers; swastikas are a lot older than Nazi Germany. They are a symbol of good luck in India. i see them carved into school desks here sometimes. The teachers (and students) don't have a western sensibility toward the symbol.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swastika
Of course the guy in the photo in wearing a Nazi uniform.
To be fair to you. I have no idea what a Nazi bar in Korea is.
The Buddhist swastika faces the opposite way to the Nazi swastika (they're in no way related).
There are several 'Nazi Bars' in the big cities in Korea.
-
If the couple were Korean, they'd be having the reception at the local, 'Nazi Bar'.
My Korean middle school students (boys) would pull threads out of their school uniform jackets to 'make' swastika patterns on the back. The K teachers saw nothing wrong with it.
It might be worth reminding our Korean and Chinese friends exactly who was allied with the Japanese during The Anti-Japanese War.
And, back to possible captions for this one:
Just wait until tonight darling and I'll show you how Blitzkrieg works.
Next time I'll play Himmler. Do they have that dress in my size?
Today a hot cosplay girl. Tomorrow, the world!
-
"Noe, khunney, I luff only jew."
-
Darling, when I told you I wanted you to wear a uniform in the wedding photos, this wasn't what I had in mind. kkkkkkkkkk
-
The Buddhist swastika faces the opposite way to the Nazi swastika (they're in no way related).
Yeah, The Hindu swastika is the same way though. My fathers family was Hindu. They were all over the house and clothes in my Grandmothers house in Trinidad. She was not a Nazi nor supported them.
Even still, pulling on some threads to for a symbol on your clothes regardless is not nearly the same as wearing a Nazi uni for your freaking wedding photos.
My guess is that it just looks sharp to him and any actual meaning is irrelevant.
-
It's not my fault honey. I asked the idiots at the wedding studio for a Naxi outfit. bibibibibi
-
The guy in the picture looks western, a sick joke I guess.
There used to be one Hitler Bar in Busan, it was just a really normal bar with Nazi regalia, I remember there was a guy opened a Hitler themed curry house in Mumbai a few years ago. You could argue that turning it into kitsch disarms it? The Nazi's were deliberately incredibly stylish and well dressed etc
I suppose Kim Jong Il tends to be treated as a sort of kitsch figure of fun by the west a lot of the time rather than a murderous dictator....
-
The guy in the picture looks western, a sick joke I guess.
Check the link posted on the previous page. It shows more pics and he looks Chinese.
And, getting back to making fun of someone who deserves it much more than most Pic of the Week subjects:
Colonel Hogan's men were experts at using disguises to fool the Germans. ahahahahah
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Okay, Eva. Let's go hunker in the bunker. cbcbcbcbcb hhhhhhhhhh
-
It doesn't matter if you're a walking, talking, sex doll computer or a crazed bigot intent on genocide. Love knows no bounds, even for the inhuman types among us.
-
Your love may know no bounds, but i can show it a thing or two about bonds
-
Darling, how far would you go to prove your love for me?
Honey, I'd do whatever you ask to prove my love for you.
Really? Would you wear anything I ask for the wedding photos? Even if other people didn't like it?
Of course, dear. Anything to make you happy.
Have I ever mentioned that I always had a secret fantasy to be kissed by a guy in a Nazi uniform?
What?!?
-
I would do anything for you baby
Would you start a war with the other rich countries and murder millions of your own people senselessly?
Let me just call Japan......
-
For our honeymoon, let's invade Poland.
-
How our Beijing tour ended up in Shijiazhuang...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/businfo.jpg)
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980 Express, . . . bus station. Ooops, I took the 980 Express train and now I don't know what province I'm in. ananananan
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/businfo.jpg)
Maybe I've been here too long and become accustomed to it, but these directions are entirely coherent to me.
Or maybe it's just that I have been to Miyun before (nice place to visit, too).
-
[/quote]Maybe I've been here too long and become accustomed to it, but these directions are entirely coherent to me.
Hehe, I had the same feeling! I'm really not familiar with Nanshan- but are these supposed to be directions from Dongzhimen in Beijing to Nanshan (Shenzhen)? Because that would certainly be a deal for 14rmb :P
-
Maybe I've been here too long and become accustomed to it, but these directions are entirely coherent to me.
These would be the best directions I ever got.
-
My first thought was "A ski resort in Shenzhen? Are they talking about that indoor ski simulation?"
These would be good directions in New Jersey.
-
Looks like El Hefe forgot to put a copy of the pic here.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/crazyenglish.jpg)
Oddly enough, China-Matt's previous post seems like it might almost work.
"A ski resort in Shenzhen? Are they talking about that indoor ski simulation?"
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Duck...duck...GOOSE!! uuuuuuuuuu
-
Raoul's new methods of inspecting barfly candidates are getting more and more worrisome. aqaqaqaqaq
-
Well, a least the ladies are finally getting a little eye candy. aoaoaoaoao
-
The New China Center for Digestive Health. We get your bowels moving again by all-natural means!
-
NO, you don't get the red fez until after you dance
-
Many ideas for enacting the Olympic circles for the opening ceremonies were auditioned.
-
The Company is teaching its new managers to work together; the consequences of not doing so are rather horrifying to contemplate. aoaoaoaoao
-
What happened old34's to the Penn St caption. Hilarious!
Was it too soon?
-
Now that all of you are comfortable, wait here and I'll bring a couple buckets of lube.
-
I would do each and every one of them.
Sometimes, taking things out of context can be fun. ahahahahah
-
You've all passed the tests. Granny Mae will be here for you soon.
-
You've all passed the tests. Granny Mae will be here for you soon.
You will then learn what foreigners mean when they talk about Cougars. aoaoaoaoao uuuuuuuuuu apapapapap bgbgbgbgbg oooooooooo :candyraver: :dancemj:
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The winners will begin their Special Training to be come Cabana Boys for the LL afafafafaf
-
AMonk,those lads are WAY too skinny to be good Cabana Boys. aoaoaoaoao kkkkkkkkkk afafafafaf
-
Let's see. That's 2 of you turned on, 6 not turned on and the rest undecided. I need more data. Let's make the diameter of the circle one meter smaller and try again.
-
Poor grammar as usual. The instructions said a circle jerk not a circle of jerks.
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I would do each and every one of them.
Sometimes, taking things out of context can be fun. ahahahahah
You're projecting.
-
I would do each and every one of them.
Sometimes, taking things out of context can be fun. ahahahahah
You're projecting.
Methinks he doth protest too much. ahahahahah
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AMonk,those lads are WAY too skinny to be good Cabana Boys. aoaoaoaoao kkkkkkkkkk afafafafaf
That's why they would need "Special" training uuuuuuuuuu afafafafaf ahahahahah
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bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax
-
Here it is, already.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/pullmyfinger.jpg)
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"I'm Sorry, But I Respectfully Decline To 'Pully Fingah'."
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/pullmyfinger.jpg)
"Either of them," he smirked.
-
Wazzuuuuuuuuup ...
-
Pay off those debts now or I'll repossess your whole country.
-
"Hey, I know you! Toothpaste Guy! I love that stuff!"
-
"Wanna teach English?'
"No."
"No qualification necessary."
"Thanks."
"Just tell them your culture."
"Listen, you wizened little--doh! Sorry, I mean honorable, ummm... "
"You gotta girlfriend?"
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You don't need to be blond and fair skinned to teach in China. But don't expect to be paid as much as the blond dropout. He has an expensive baijiu habit and an even more expensive girlfrined to take care of. We're sensitive to those kinds of needs here.
-
"Hey, I know you! Toothpaste Guy! I love that stuff!"
bkbkbkbkbk (with a bit of a wince among the laughter...)
-
Your wife almost cute as mine. Wanna have swap party?
-
Oh, my. Ohhhh, my.....
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/lostintranslation.jpg)
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Where do I sigh up? afafafafaf
-
11/25....awwwww...I've missed it already! When's the next one?
-
Man that was great!. Finger lickin' good.
-
You'll notice, MK, that he waited until after it was over to post the notice. So that we didn't have a chance. He wanted all the fun to himself, methinks.
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/hotdogaids.jpg)
"Many In China Are Still Confused By The Term "Wiener"..."
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You know where to put it, don't you?
-
Umm, is that one real, Stil? Really?
-
I didn't take the pic. I don't understand the Chinese actually. It says hot dog but I have no idea what the meaning of 多拿滋 duo na zi is here. The 滋 zi character is used in 艾滋病 aizibing which is AIDS. Must have been machine translated.
Maybe someone with better Chinese can tells what that's supposed to mean.
-
I believe it is a term for doughnut.
-
I believe it is a term for doughnut.
The best policy always wrap your hotdog before shoving it into a donut. ahahahahah
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In this case I believe the Chinese means condiments or toppings. Y'know; ketsup, relish and such. But oh man what a mistranslation! You're probably right, Stil. Most likely a machine/internet translation. To err is human, but to really mess up you need a computer.
-
The Hot Dog Plague (aka the Wiener Death) came on the world scene in late 2016. By 2017, it killed more people worldwide than AIDS. As the epidemic intensified, the Hot Dog Plague ended up killing more than 1/3 of the world population by 2025.
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Yeah duonazi seems to be donuts (https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&cp=3&gs_id=3&xhr=t&q=%E5%A4%9A%E6%8B%BF%E6%BB%8B&tok=TxXihQyzajz2kLxRj-97Qg&safe=off&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=605&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=KJzdTryyAu7JmQWxl6WYBQ).
The concept of a 'hot-dog donut' is not as alarming as getting a potentially fatal disease with your meal...but it's still pretty weird.
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Hahaha, trying to stifle laughs in my office...
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Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Hot dogs and AIDS and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
-Joolie Andews
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Ingredients at the bottom of pic - Contains flour, cream, sugar...AND AIDS!
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Hot Dogs. We're more than just beaks and feet!
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Our new ingredient will give you a hotdog you'll remember for the rest of your life. qqqqqqqqqq
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Yeah duonazi seems to be donuts (https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&cp=3&gs_id=3&xhr=t&q=%E5%A4%9A%E6%8B%BF%E6%BB%8B&tok=TxXihQyzajz2kLxRj-97Qg&safe=off&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=605&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=KJzdTryyAu7JmQWxl6WYBQ).
I was able to have fun with this one in class this week. I showed them the picture (disconnected from our website). They all gasped and then laughed. Then I showed them MK's link (above) googling 多拿滋 resulting in images of donuts. The penny dropped for them - Donuts had been transliterated into DuoNaZi by the Chinese language authority. Then I showed them Google Translate of 多拿滋 which GOOGLE renders as "Take AIDS more."
http://translate.google.com.hk/?hl=en&cp=3&gs_id=3&xhr=t&q=多拿滋&tok=TxXihQyzajz2kLxRj-97Qg&safe=off&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=605&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iT (http://translate.google.com.hk/?hl=en&cp=3&gs_id=3&xhr=t&q=多拿滋&tok=TxXihQyzajz2kLxRj-97Qg&safe=off&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=605&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iT)
Voila! AIDS!
We all agreed to blame both the Chinese language authority and Google.
1. The Chinese translation authority for their poor choice in transliteration characters: why not just this zi 字 rather than this zi 滋? Unless they were intentionally trying to frighten their own away from "donuts" which have become quite a popular small franchise business here in the last couple of years.
2. Google for really bad literal translation. They need to up their Translation game.
This is reminiscent of the old Jin Shan Zi Bao translation software which used to translate 干 gan (dried) as "F***" resulting in many funny translations in grocery stores of the Dried Fruits and Dried Vegetable sections.
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3. Chinese approach to 'Western' food generally, e.g. trying to put a hot dog in a donut....honestly it's like something Homer Simpson would dream up...
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The Chinese approach to Western foods is the same as for Western people. Fine to have around sometimes, but it isn't something you'd take seriously. You stick strictly to native Chinese items for your main course. Western elements, even perfectly serious ones like, say, bread, are OK for a diversion now and then. Just add plenty of sugar to cover up that nasty Western taste. Remind anyone of their workplace? Oh, putting a hot dog in a doughnut is completely ridiculous? It's OK, it's not like we defiled hongshao qiezi. That would be offensive.
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3. Chinese approach to 'Western' food generally, e.g. trying to put a hot dog in a donut....honestly it's like something Homer Simpson would dream up...
I dunno, it's just another form of "pig-in-a-blanket."
cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigs_in_a_blanket (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigs_in_a_blanket)
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Hot dog in a donut, pig in a blanket, or whatever else you call it, just make sure to safely wrap up that wiener before using it. afafafafaf
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I dunno, it's just another form of "pig-in-a-blanket."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigs_in_a_blanket
In the United States, the term "pigs in a blanket" ... refers to hot dogs, Vienna sausages, or breakfast/link sausages wrapped in biscuit dough, pancake, or croissant dough, and baked.
OK, I thought the Scottish diet was unhealthy...
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Oh, no...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Everything-Is-Made-In-China-1785.jpg)
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ahahahahah ahahahahah Yer gets wot yer pays fer!!
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I love this week's avatar. It definitely explains some of the things happening in USAnia ahahahahah
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Tomorrow I'm going to begin exporting American-made Socialism with Chinese Characteristics. Oh wait, Walmart already did that.
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Freedom and Liberty - now on sale for 30% off at your local WalMart.
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looks like El Hefe was enjoying the holiday a little to much to post the new Pic of the Week in this thread.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/2012.jpg)
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Excellent guess, but basically I wasn't putting the holiday specials in here...?
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Excellent guess, but basically I wasn't putting the holiday specials in here...?
I reject your reality and substitute my own. ahahahahah
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Words fail me...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/wife_pie.jpg)
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Can be quite tasty as long as it's not too old. Usually sweet.
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Often served with Sharp Tongue and Cold Shoulder.
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use in moderation...
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The Soylent Corporation is proud to introduce the first of a new line of customized products. uuuuuuuuuu
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Often served with Sharp Tongue and Cold Shoulder.
ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
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Does it come with cream?
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I'm hungry. Can I have more than one?
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Whose?
I swear, I didn't know she was married.
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Not a bad dish, but if there's anything else on the menu, I always try that first.
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Ah...you mean "the other wife meat"... bpbpbpbpbp
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I wonder if Little Jack Horner would stick his thumb in that one? ahahahahah
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I wonder if Little Jack Horner would stick his thumb in that one?
Or possibly several fingers?
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I wonder if Little Jack Horner would stick his thumb in that one?
Or possibly several fingers?
Or fisted it. ahahahahah
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Or his penis?
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Or his penis?
Shades of Portnoy!! ahahahahah ahahahahah
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Finger-lickin' good!
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Wish I had the Monkey Kings ability to change the size and number of certain things. afafafafaf uuuuuuuuuu
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Wifey caught me laughing my ass off and said that's an incorrect translation. It should read "Wife Cake".
Either way, I think I'll eat a piece after dinner. afafafafaf
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Wifey caught me laughing my ass off and said that's an incorrect translation. It should read "Wife Cake".
Either way, I think I'll eat a piece after dinner. afafafafaf
So... my parents were wrong when they told me I can't have my cake and eat it too?
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Oh, DO try and have fun...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/belegal.jpg)
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Prison, a pain in the ass in more ways than one. aqaqaqaqaq
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bibibibibi
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With apologies to John Denver, "Sunshine up my arsehole makes me happy, sunshine up my arsehole make me gay" uuuuuuuuuu
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Every time you go to prison, a daisy turns into a sunflower.
bpbpbpbpbp
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I don't have an alternate heading, but I have to be honest: Those flowers remind me of anuses.
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"harps", not "carps" which are fish.
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"Carp" are fish......"carps" is nagging! ahahahahah
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Stop the presses; for once Gerge is right. Look the word up. uuuuuuuuuu
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It's not just prison - I paid $327 dollars to be irradiated and have a guy stick his finger in my ass aoaoaoaoao during the medical required for my effin' Working Permit and LoI (so I can apply for my Z visa)! I was 'violated' in more ways than one...
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It's not just prison - I paid $327 dollars to be irradiated and have a guy stick his finger in my ass
Funny how he did that and also had a hand on each of your shoulders. ahahahahah
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I don't have an alternate heading, but I have to be honest: Those flowers remind me of anuses.
ahahahahah ahahahahah
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I don't have an alternate heading, but I have to be honest: Those flowers remind me of anuses.
YOUR SICK.
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YOU'RE llllllllll llllllllll
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or maybe your sick <+ missing noun>
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i will never enjoy sunflowers again llllllllll
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He was a shy boy, like a sweet daisy. Then, he ran afoul of the visa laws. Prison traumatizes most people, but not in this case. Instead, he blossomed into a lovely sunflower and became the most popular boy in his cell block.
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YOU'RE llllllllll llllllllll
No I'm not! YOU'RE.
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i will never enjoy sunflowers again llllllllll
I wonder if there's some symbolism in those Van Gogh paintings. mmmmmmmmmm
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Yes, EL. The flowers represent anuses that have been subjected to varying degrees of sexual activity.
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Yes, EL. The flowers represent anuses that have been subjected to varying degrees of sexual activity.
seriously? mmmmmmmmmm
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Yes, EL. The flowers represent anuses that have been subjected to varying degrees of sexual activity.
seriously? mmmmmmmmmm
Zero is our resident expert on the subject of sunflower symbolism.
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In support of sunflowers:
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I see a beautiful young Asian woman -- surrounded by anuses.
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I see a beautiful young Asian woman -- surrounded by anuses.
And how does that make you feel?
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Strongly aroused.
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Glad we got a new one up afore Zero asploded. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/fuckprice2.jpg)
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Have issues with premature ejaculation? If so, make sure to use the express lane. ahahahahah
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The Smoking Lamp is now lit...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/assmeat.jpg)
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When I said I wanted a piece of ass, I had something else in mind. afafafafaf
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you can have your ass and eat it too uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu
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I always thought "having your ass shredded" and "having your ass handed to you on a plate" were just figures of speech.
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Oooh! New stuff!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Funny-Chinese-School-Teachers-Poster.jpg)
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I would make hot, passionate love to that teacher!
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Obvious Japanese are obvious.
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How badly do I have to misbehave in class before she'd lay me across her knees, pull down my pants, and spank me?
cbcbcbcbcb
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"With the arrival of the new schoolteacher, the boys found they had no problems keeping their pencils sharp."
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How badly do I have to misbehave in class before she'd lay me across her knees, pull down my pants, and spank me?
cbcbcbcbcb
Even beyond that, how bad do I have to be to get a reacharound?
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Chinese school teachers-
"ruggedly ignoring Japanese overtures since 1937"
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He's NOT looking at the paper on his desk (I wouldn't be either). afafafafaf
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What desk?
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I knew it was too good to be true; the boy only has eyes for his book. ahahahahah
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He wondered how his new classmate managed to enroll in an all boys school. Later, he found out that she was from Thailand.
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A great way to keep abreast of your subjects.
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Honestly, have you ever seen more attractive specimen? Just makes you want t put your hands all over that hot body, eh, EL? And that girl is not bad looking, either.
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Honestly, have you ever seen more attractive specimen? Just makes you want t put your hands all over that hot body, eh, EL? And that girl is not bad looking, either.
Shhhh... we're not supposed to talk about those "special" things we do with other guys in public. ahahahahah
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Shhhh... we're not supposed to talk about those "special" things we do with other guys in public.
Oh, it's not like we don't all already know. uuuuuuuuuu
Meanwhile...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/gradesin.jpg)
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Perhaps if you: ever attended a class; turned in any work; or, actually sat an exam, you'd get more than 60%. ::)
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Nothing but *LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL* @ the pic!
Brilliant!
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New employees at the Anhui hotdog factory react when told the grim truth that hot dogs aren't made of dog meat.
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Preliminary tests of using Chinese pop music to torture soldiers have showed promising signs.
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The old hairgel for glue switcharoo went down a treat this year.
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That's right lads - Bambi's mother dies.
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ETR wants us to read how many books for literature class? aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
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Mass auditions for bit parts in "Scary Movie - The China Version" were a resounding success aoaoaoaoao
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ETR wants us to read any books for literature class?
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The People's Liberation Army Marching Band and Modern Art Troupe of Anhui perform their new Socialist Literalist piece tentatively titled Birth of a Nation.
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My class' reaction to the corrections on their latest essay. llllllllll
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Soylent Black and White is made out of Pandas! IT'S PANDAS! NOOOOO!!!! aoaoaoaoao
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The class was more than a little surprised by the fact that there is no 'r' in 'usually'.
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EL, discussing the previous avatar:
Shhhh... we're not supposed to talk about those "special" things we do with other guys in public.
Hmmm, "don't ask, don't tell" as the saloon's motto? Talk about a caption in search of a picture. And now this week's picture
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Just because a guy occasionally does a few vile deeds with strangers in a public bathroom stall doesn't make him gay, does it?
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Depends on which public bathroom he's in. uuuuuuuuuu
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I would do each and every one of them.
Zero's out of context quote strikes again! ahahahahah
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Human Centipede 3: the "before" picture.
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I would do each and every one of them.
Zero's out of context quote strikes again! ahahahahah
So that accounts for the looks on their faces! uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah
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We're sorry guys. Granny Mae has cancelled her striptease act. ananananan
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Audiences were very surprised by Zero's new solo dance routine called Watch me use this set of cucumbers to turn my cute little daisy into a big beautiful sunflower.
aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa
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Et voila...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/mindcrotch.jpg)
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I already knew my mind was in my crotch. You don't have to make a sign about it. asasasasas
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I already knew my mind was in my crotch. You don't have to make a sign about it. asasasasas
Agreed - my mind is in my crotch and crotches are always on my mind.
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Oh gawd I've been here for 6 months now. My crotch minds.
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Oh gawd I've been here for 6 months now. My crotch minds.
My crotch minds and my mind is crotchety.
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I've heard that about you...
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Mind crotch, dickhead.
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A mind is a terrible thing to waste and a crotch is a terrible thing to mind. ahahahahah
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My mind to your crotch
My desires to your desires
- Vulcan Crotch Melding
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Mind if I park my crotch here?
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Et voila.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/nokia-fail.jpg)
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ahahahahah ahahahahah Shit phones!
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It could be worse. At least they aren't Canoodling Poodles. ahahahahah
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ahahahahah
See Vladimir and Estragon reimagined for the 00s in
connocting poopie.
samuel beckett.
They're online, and they're... waiting
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Who do I see if I don't want my poopie connocted?
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Who do I see if I don't want my poopie connocted?
Don't buy a Nokia phone. bpbpbpbpbp
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I have a Nokia... does that mean I can only call another shit-head?
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I have a Nokia... does that mean I can only call another shit-head?
Want my number? ahahahahah
(Connocted from my Nokia)
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Wait until they start concocting people...
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President Obama meets the Collections Department...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/obamatroops.jpg)
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President Obama was disappointed at the low quality of candidates for The New Village People band he's putting together.
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Helllooooooo heheheheheheehehehehehe
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Waaaa ta shi feizhou ren ah!
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Our lips are sealed!
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Helllooooooo heheheheheheehehehehehe
Do you like basketball? Have you heard of Yao Ming?
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NOW who's the debtor nation, HMMMMMM????
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Second guy from the right must be related to the kid in the bucket :wtf:
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Why is that new recruit out of uniform?
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Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
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Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
bkbkbkbkbk And Zero would do each and every one of them. ahahahahah
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A Trojan helmet for the new age...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/weird-theme-restaurants-in-asia-images_4307_4329.jpg)
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The new Raoul's Special Surprise drink was so dangerous that waiters had to wear special protection while serving it. ahahahahah
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Moxibustion.
Can be used to treat sexual dysfunction.
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China begins testing its ultra modern new spacewear for use on its proposed space station
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China begins testing its ultra modern new spacewear for use on its proposed space station
So you're sayin' China will be serving Tequila Sunrises at their space station? I call bullshit.....
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of course no sunrises there. they will be serving only baiju as it can also be used as a reserve fuel supply for their rockets.
They are doing the testing in the glorious city of Linfen where they can best simulate the condition of needed oxygen and the future astronauts are employed in local expat hangout so they can also test the ability of the suit to repel those nasty particles that all laowai can radiate
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I wonder if I should tell him that he's got it on the wrong head?
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bkbkbkbkbk LMAO!!! bkbkbkbkbk
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bkbkbkbkbk LMAO!!! bkbkbkbkbk
I agree. Good one, Granny.
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Rocky Zhou's Halloween costume, the serial killer from the movie Manhunter, had the perk of shielding him from the hurtful comments of customers.
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Beldar's illegitimate son
-
Howie Mandel's career has come to this?
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I feel like such a dick walking around like this and being stared at by foreigners!
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Why is that foreigner staring at me? Is there something wrong with the way I'm carrying the drink?
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Practicing safe service since 1949
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The newest SARS outbreak was quickly contained by the use of innovative protection measures.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/octopus.jpg)
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You should throw in some lobster too
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I'm ink-apable of producing my octopus at this time.
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Can I show you a squid instead? :wtf:
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That should read "Please present octopus by inserting ticket". Present octopus just out of shot.
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I still don't know why HK calls it an OCTOPUS card. It is an amusing name though.
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I still don't know why HK calls it an OCTOPUS card. It is an amusing name though.
Are there eight lines?
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Hey there pretty girl, wanna see the octopus in my pocket? afafafafaf
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The new Tentacle Fetish room was so popular that they had to install special gates to control access.
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Crap! My octopus moved to japan to become a porn star.
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IT's called an Octopus cos the London one is called an Oyster.
so the world is your Octopus when you have one? bibibibibi
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Clear something up for me please.
Do i insert the card into the Octopus? (poor Octopus does HK have an RSPCA? sounds like animal cruelty to me)
And where is the card slot on the Octopus?
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Forgive my second-tier city provincialness, but just what is that a picture of?
A subway entrance gate? mmmmmmmmmm
It's either an access gate to the Hong Kong MTR system, or the access gate to The Tentacle Room. Either way, it can get pretty kinky. afafafafaf
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It's either an access gate to the Hong Kong MTR system, or the access gate to The Tentacle Room. Either way, it can get pretty kinky. afafafafaf
Which raises the question: do octopi ever get knots in their tentacles?
Only while making love to kinky Japanese girls. afafafafaf
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I missed a week, didn't I? Sorry...my brain has turned to cheese. ananananan
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/badjob.jpg)
"But the really humiliating part is having to make the "ding ding ding" noise every time you're hit..."
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Dammit Raoul! You weren't supposed to show pics of what my real job is. asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas
-
If you want to get close to the (pool) sharks, you'd better go in a cage.
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I don't know who took the table legs, but all I can say is that I hope they don't run out of balls. bibibibibi
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Yes, they might go for those guys' testicles next!
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My thoughts exactly zero! uuuuuuuuuu
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(There is a brand of pear brandy that has a full-size pear inside the bottle. Since the bottle has a narrow neck, the obvious question is how they get the pear inside. So...)
Son: Dad, how do they get those heads inside the cages?
Father: Well son, I think they put the cages on when they are just newborns, and they just grow up that way.
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Your Beloved Emperor, Escaped Lunatic, has decreed that anyone caught cheating at pool will be subjected to The Death of 10,000 Cue Balls.
Tune in to PPV Imperial Execution Channel #37 to watch. Only $39.95 per day.
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Fresh meat for you!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/wildasshouse.jpg)
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Finally! Some kind soul put up a sign telling me where I can get a wild piece of ass. afafafafaf
-
...
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Turns out that my blind date was from the wide ass house. kkkkkkkkkk
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Oops, I almoot fo'gots...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/dogend.jpg)
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It's the little things that count!
-
Sparky the Firedog wants to remind everyone that only you can promote forest fires. ahahahahah
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Yoda-speak spoken here ahahahahah
-
...
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bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax
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nice one, isidnar.
My computer was taking a moment to load the pictures, and I was thinking "Dog feathers?"
-
If you cook a dog in a forest fire, the meat will get burned.
-
Accidental Poetry of the Year, 2012 early leader, I'd say.
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Woot!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/altarclimb.jpg)
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...
-
...
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I love Steve Martin's stand-up... akakakakak
-
All the local churches in Suzhou had to add these signs after that infamous alter climbing incident. Raoul still denies any involvement. ahahahahah
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homina homina homina...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Chinese-Miss-World-2007--34472.jpg)
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Looks just like my ex-wife... and one of her was one too many.
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BWAHAHAHA!!!! At last, my greatest experiment has succeeded! My unstoppable (and incredibly hot afafafafaf) clone army is all I needed to assure success in my plan for world domination!
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/lovers.jpg)
So...wrong...on...too..many...levels.........can't...choose...comment..... eeeeeeeeee
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When you are doing your GF in a public park, make sure you know where your old bag is so she doesn't kill you. ahahahahah
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EL, I'm sure that could be reworded for the worst advice thread
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An only-in-China classic. And who ever conceptualised the sign had an American English teacher. We Australians "get off" buses. However, the Chinese "lover" "making love" etc are very 1920's.
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Pay attention to your rubber bag when getting off in lover or she might get pregnant. ahahahahah
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When I was young, 'getting off' just meant kissing someone passionately. Think it's still that way in England. Seems like good English to me, if a little informal.
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An only-in-China classic. And who ever conceptualised the sign had an American English teacher. We Australians "get off" buses. However, the Chinese "lover" "making love" etc are very 1920's.
Not just American. It's also used in England to mean, er... heavy petting akakakakak
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While getting off with your lover in public, make sure to keep a bag over your head. That way your wife and family won't be able to identify you when the video shows up on youku. ahahahahah
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Think you'll licke this one...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/licky.jpg)
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They say you can get high from licking a toad. ahahahahah
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BRAINS!!!
-
What is the backstory here, exactly? Anyone know?
-
When I was told that I'd have to do some arse licking, I thought that this would be the better option. bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah
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brains, EL? how about Mindless Zombie Goes Hungry
-
Now that the prey has been lulled to sleep by endless speeches, the queen uses her ovipositor to inject eggs into the neck of the soon-to-be-assimilated person. From there, the newly hatched larvae will quickly migrate to the brain and begin their work.
-
I can still taste the baijiu through his pores.
-
This is a tradtional greeting,..with 5000 years it must be in there somewhere.
-
After all these years, a weekly photo has finally offended me. I can never unsee that.
-
"What is that, Old Spice?"
"Goddamn it, Larry."
-
When I said "lick my head", I meant the other one.
-
This is the sad story of Mr Zhang, who has learned to live with a man-sized abcess growing out the end of his tongue.
-
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
-Confucius
-
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
-Confucius
Eeeeeewwwwwww! aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa
-
Do you have what it takes to be a taste-tester for the Soylent Industries? If so, please visit our website and fill out the online application.
-
Snack time! bfbfbfbfbf
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/sheeppenis.jpg)
-
The Soylent group of companies categorically states that it has absolutely nothing to do with this week's avatar.
-
Shinier than expected...
-
So that's where the verb to screw comes from.
-
So that's where the verb to screw comes from.
Screw Ewe! ahahahahah
-
Uh...I was just telling someone that this is a relatively 'serious' China teaching forum and gave them a link...I forgot all about the front page pic though....
-
So that's where the verb to screw comes from.
Screw Ewe! ahahahahah
You must be a Kiwi! Got your 'wellies'? (I might try to run away). aoaoaoaoao
-
So that's where the verb to screw comes from.
Screw Ewe! ahahahahah
You must be a Kiwi! Got your 'wellies'? (I might try to run away). aoaoaoaoao
You're giving me ba-a-a-a-ad ideas. ahahahahah
-
At least they've had an FT do the sign though.
-
Being born in the year of the sheep, I don't like this photo.
-
Being born in the year of the sheep, I don't like this photo.
Then pull the wool over your eyes, bleat & keep grazing... especially if you notice EL approaching from behind with what looks like a large, concrete bit protruding from his 'nether regions'.
bfbfbfbfbf
-
Being born in the year of the sheep, I don't like this photo.
Watch out for what probably follows next...."great balls of fire." aoaoaoaoao
-
Watch out for what probably follows next...."great balls of fire." aoaoaoaoao
ahahahahah How would the Chinese translate 'Rocky Mountain Oysters'?
-
[quote ]
Watch out for what probably follows next...."great balls of fire." aoaoaoaoao
[/quote]
Certainly not the way I want it eaten.
-
I'm so confused...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/unhorny.jpg)
-
I'm so confused...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/unhorny.jpg)
hmm. I guess it's effectiveness depends on where you rub it, and for how long, and with what sort of motion.
-
Whatever, so long as I never have to see that "lickey" picture again. aaaaaaaaaa
-
Whatever, so long as I never have to see that "lickey" picture again. aaaaaaaaaa
If they had used this product, that photo wouldn't have existed.
-
What happened to the old adage, "The best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it"
-
Tastes great. Less filling.
-
Aiiiiee!!!! aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao You found my personal kryptonite. Keep that stuff away from me!
-
But... I don't want my horniness exfoliated! kkkkkkkkkk
-
I've heard folks talking about "The grapes of wrath"...... so this is what they mean. bibibibibi
-
Must . . . fight . . . horniness . . . eliminator.
Must . . . regain . . . my . . . horniness.
Who . . . can . . . help . . . me . . . in . . . my . . . darkest . . . hour?
Hi Granny Mae (SCHWING!!) akakakakak
-
For those that have a (g)rape problem.
-
This week's picture...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/151-funny-china-mike.jpg)
-
You can pick your friends.
You can pick your nose.
You can't pick your friend's nose.*
* May not apply in your area. Check local regulations.
-
Dad! Not in front of the lads, Ok?
-
hey private, you are terribly out of uniform. First you wear the wrong hat for the uniform, and you still have your make up on from last nights date with sergeant rock.
-
Dammit soldier! When the Colonel tells you to swallow, you are NOT to let any splatter on your face.
-
there, there. big boys don't cry. I'm sure the sergeant hasn't forgotten you. It's just that he's terribly busy; I'm sure he'll call you as soon as he can. I'm sure he still respects you in the morning.
Oh, it's already past noon? You have any plans for this evening, kiddo?
-
I've been listening to a lot of Black Flag lately. Mostly in response to friends posting "bitch rock" (Tragically Hip, Barenaked Ladies , ect.) links. That shit can't hold a candle to albums like "Damaged" and "Loose Nut"
I paid 15 bucks for "Damaged" on cassette in 1986...so I'm not feeling too feeling guilty about downloading everything else.
I've also started downloading Dr. Dementos Basement Tapes. Heh...won't spoil it for you. Just do it...and report back to me in in 30 days.
-
Surreal decurso, that one. bjbjbjbjbj
-
GOT YOUR NOSE!
-
That time again...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Sign_Board449.jpg)
-
'Elevator sex' gets even kinkier with the added danger of death. afafafafaf
-
If you start to feel hot, beware the ring of fire if you go down with someone in the elevator. uuuuuuuuuu
-
If elevator sex is outlawed, only outlaws will have elevator sex.
-
Pucker up!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/Weird-Kissing-Contest-in-China.jpg)
-
Didn't this avatar appear a few years back entitled "Dry Humping Competition", or something similarly outrageous?
-
Once the second couple commenced kissing, all present knew that an orgy was inevitable.
-
As part of the process in keeping up with the rest of the world, here is an example of the latest sex education classes for adults!
-
Very good class. You've now mastered position 27. For position 28, we're going to need some ropes. afafafafaf
-
Hop to it to do it! afafafafaf
The combined weight bearing and tongue exercises are much better done out in the fresh air! bfbfbfbfbf
-
Beware! Get to close to a Chinese girl and she'll clamp you down.
-
This year's World Orgasm Day was greeted enthusiastically in China.
-
This week's model...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chinese-wedding01.jpg)
-
The groom is a lesbian 'trapped' in a man's body. ::)
-
Never hire EL as your wedding planner. aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
-
No no!, they are not the clothes some girl left here the night before! They are mine for the wedding, see? Now dont you feel silly?
-
Another rule for living in China: Never ever under any circumstances annoy your bride-to-be while getting ready for the wedding pics. The consequences of this can be very unpredictable.
Never hire EL as your wedding planner. aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
Bwahahaha! uuuuuuuuuu
-
Zhou surreptitiously and erroneously surmised that his wedding day was the perfect time to reveal his unhealthy obsession with women's underwear.
-
I'm sorry love! It was a "buck's party" prank gone wrong. bibibibibi
-
When he told her that he'd be the one wearing the pants in the family, he had no idea of the terrible vengeance she planned to take. uuuuuuuuuu
-
The father of the groom is having some trouble understanding what the problem is.
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a197/Bissessar/Expat%20Saloon/FatheroftheGroom.jpg)
-
Unclear??? I think he knows exactly what the vibe is. Go over the top,soldier.
-
Push a button and pick a winnah!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/LR.jpg)
-
All the lights are on but nobody is home! ahahahahah
-
It was this or the live, toilet-cam version.
-
"our"
:)
-
"our"
Well spotted, Brandex!! agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
-
Now that China's space program is in full swing, citizens across the country are benefiting from spinoff technology.
-
Another one where I simply have no words...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/nohoney.jpg)
-
Truth in advertising.
-
Sticky situations usually cost money somehow. uuuuuuuuuu
-
Money can buy happiness. Or, at least, happy endings. afafafafaf ahahahahah afafafafaf
-
"Our massage parlor allows you to make love to the workers, for a price."
-
Ba da bing...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chanyao.jpg)
-
... the long and the short of the matter is ...
-
No way we are going to tell you what we were discussing in the toilet! kkkkkkkkkk
-
I'm smiling now, but if he pats me on the head on more time, I'm going to reach up and punch his crotch so hard he'll sing soprano for a month. ffffffffff
-
this is a goodun
http://anongallery.org/img/1/8/asian-steve-jobs.jpg
-
Oops, almost forgot...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/funny-weird-backpack-Obama-Sonic.jpg)
-
Reminds me of a student my first year in China. His jacket had a picture of Mickey Mouse but it said Spiderman.
-
In modern presidential politics, candidates will take any endorsements they can get.
-
Mmm-mmm good!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chinaunderwater.jpg)
-
isn't that a Downs Syndrome person?
dunno, maybe in bad taste? maybe I'm being over-sensitive
-
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor rising flood waters stays Yoshinoya Noodles from the swift completion of their customer's orders.
-
In an effort to find more great swimmers, China is now allowing swim throughs as well as drive throughs in many food outlets. bfbfbfbfbf
-
Japanese or Chinese? I know there are many Japanese franchises in China, but the "IN' sign isn't very Chinese. Also, recent flooding affected both countries.
BTW, in 15 years dealing with them, I haven't met an East Asian student who says noodles or dumplings. Its always the freaking singular. Our poor teaching perhaps?
-
Yoshinoya Noodles - So good that our customers keep coming back no matter what obstacles might be in the way.
-
Yoshinoya Noodles - just add water!
-
Japanese or Chinese?
Pretty sure it's Japanese.
-
Japanese or Chinese?
Pretty sure it's Japanese.
Japanese or Chinese? It doesn't matter. Once you've experienced the delicious taste of Yoshinoya noodles, you'll swim through a raging river to get more.
-
Possibly, but once the doors are opened to non-Chinese weekly avatars, then civilisation is doomed. Let's stay true to our roots folks. As a Raoul's co-founder I have stakes in the heritage of this place. And I'd go with Fozwaldus re: bad taste.
-
Even if civilization is doomed, Yoshinoya noodles are never in bad taste. Come hell or high water, our customers can't get enough of Yoshinoya noodles.
-
Looks like El Hefe forgot to post the new pic in the thread.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/semencassia.jpg)
-
Let's all try very very hard not to imagine what the process of stuffing these pillows must look like. aqaqaqaqaq
-
Hey, I sent in a few pics but I don't think this was one of mine!
-
I had a pic of the same thing and didn't send it in yet.
I've attached an inappropriate sound file for this week's avatar.
-
Almost forgot...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/semencassia.jpg)
Hey, I sent in a few pics but I don't think this was one of mine!
You're right. I corrected the attribution with apologies to all concerned... llllllllll
-
Guaranteed to give you a happy ending every night. afafafafaf
-
Last time i complain that Chinese condoms are too small.
-
And all this time we though our Chinese wives and/or GF's were swallowing. kkkkkkkkkk
-
Is that a pillow in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
-
"Our aim is always to please..... Your aim will help!"
-
Don't forget to wrap that rascal - in a pillowcase. ahahahahah
-
Huge numbers of pregnancies linked to semen filled pillows. Company representatives say that there's no law against this and the pillows were clearly marked.
-
Freshly squeezed.
-
Wow, you people are naaaaasty. uuuuuuuuuu
Anyway...chow time!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/chinese_tooth_01.jpg)
-
No idea for a heading, but I love it bfbfbfbfbf!
-
Sadly, a few people completely misunderstood the concept of having an iron rice bowl. bibibibibi
-
When they said "its the end of the iron rice bowl", they really meant it!
-
Not a heading - a question.
Is that hub cap he's chewing on? mmmmmmmmmm
-
No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!
Woohoo, thinks Oddjob, if this doesn't work, I'll eat my hat!
Doh!
-
If I can just chew a little more off this discus, I'll be able to throw it far enough to win the gold medal.
-
4 out of 5 people agree - Mercedes hubcaps taste better than BMW hubcaps.
-
Chinese man tests theory about biting off more than you can chew!
-
Chinese man tests theory about biting off more than you can chew!
A new sport has been invented by members of the Manchu nationality. bpbpbpbpbp
-
¡Viva las Luchadoras!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/facekini.jpg)
-
Scientists have recently revealed that this is what Chinese girls really look like before they put on makeup.
aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa aoaoaoaoao aaaaaaaaaa
-
'bring out the gimp'
'the gimps swimming'
'well fish him out then'
-
Yellow: Is that a foreigner?
Blue: Looks like.
-
yellow: why is he looking at us?
blue: I don't know, but I'm not sure I like it. Let's say hello and walk away.
-
Bad ideas recipe #8096
3 shots of baijiu
2 pieces of brightly colored spandex
1 bottle of superglue
-
You guys should embrace this fashion. This is a rare opportunity to look like the locals. uuuuuuuuuu
-
I'm not sure that wearing a yellow mask to look like the locals is a good idea.
-
not a heading, but, looking at the photo, won't they just end up with really black hands?? mmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm
hasn't anybody heard of sunblock??
-
A new method for saving face. bjbjbjbjbj
not a heading, but, looking at the photo, won't they just end up with really black hands?? mmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm
hasn't anybody heard of sunblock??
Don't worry - gloves (and socks) are next.
I'm not sure that wearing a yellow mask to look like the locals is a good idea.
Damn. I as all ready to order a yellow one on taobao.
-
Yellow: I dunno...
Blue: Yeah, you know.
http://www.gamesradar.com/call-duty-online-brings-modern-warfare-china/
-
yellow: you sure this is gonna work?
blue: absolutely. Remember what it said on the box; good for skin, good for health, and sexy as hell to foreigners.
-
Face peels from unlicensed plastic surgeons can have unfortunate side effects.
-
Yellow and blue movie stars together for the first time.
-
If they smack their heads together, will that leave green marks? mmmmmmmmmm
-
Yellow: Hey, lock S-foils in attack position!
Blue: Red Leader?
Yellow: Yeah. There he is now.
Blue: That guy is such an idiot.
-
This pic would have given me nightmares as a child.
hasn't anybody heard of sunblock??
Haven't you heard? Sunblock gives you cancer/causes pimples/makes you fat/is shanghuo/doesn't block radiation/stops your skin from breathing so you will suffocate/is made from gutter oil.
-
She's too sexy for her face, too sexy for her face
Too sexy to disgrace
And she's too sexy for her skin, too sexy for her skin
No sunlight will get in
-
China's ruthless One Child Policy has given rise to a new breed of older woman, the Urban Mommando, ever vigilant, always watchful, protective of future assets in an increasingly competitive society full of crime.
Yellow: Your 10 o'clock, that lady looking at our boy?
Blue: Can't be sure, better take her out.
-
It may look like it's merely a new high fashion item worn by the most stylist beachgoers, but the Human Emergency Assist Device also protects wearers from drowning. Just pull the recessed distress cord on your HEAD and it inflates, providing floatation when you most needed it.
If you really love someone, give them HEAD at the beach.
-
Yellow: What's the line?
Blue: WE'LL TEAR YOUR SOUL APART!
Yellow: Really?
Blue: WE HAVE SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU.
Yellow: That's the one, yeah.
Blue: I. AM. PAIN.
-
Yellow: Hey, see those laowais?
Blue: Over by the water?
Yellow: That's right. I think the bald one with all the bodyguards likes you! He's been staring this way for a while...kinda looks like Putin.
Blue: What's a Putin?
-
Ha, yes, totally forgot about that.
Yellow: Pussy Riot?
Blue: At the meat market?
Yellow: I guess so.
Blue: Filthy southerners.
-
All citizens are celebrating since North Korea's newest glorious leader has made his personally designed line of swimwear mandatory at all beaches.
-
yellow: Is that the glorious leader who designed these mandatory swimsuits?
blue: yeah, that's him.
yellow: don't you think these are wonderful?
blue:
-
There's great news about the newest version of the Human Emergency Assist Device. Now, in addition to the emergency floatation function, HEAD comes lined with a genuine tinfoil radiation blocking inner layer. Mind-controlling rays as well as dangerous radiation from computer monitors and cell phones are all safely blocked. Now this high fashion item is good for the beach, the office, or a day out shopping.
For friends and anyone you love, there's nothing better to show you care than giving then HEAD.
-
Yellow: Is that--?
Blue: Short pants in May.
Yellow: I feel sorry for his mother.
-
Even with their facekinis on, Gong Li and Zhang Ziyi still can't avoid the paparazzi. ahahahahah
-
"Lost you face? Afraid of losing it again? Try the new Ronco Spray on Face. It's face in a can."
-
The female stars of the Chinese version of 'Baywatch' ponder their low ratings. mmmmmmmmmm
-
Bring out the gimp!
-
No, officer! We're not supporting Pussy Riot! We're just very ugly!
-
"Lost you face? Afraid of losing it again? Try the new Ronco Spray on Face. It's face in a can."
I think they need some Ronco Spray-on Hair to go with it. ahahahahah
-
Here y'all is...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/12-funny-chinese-sign.jpg)
-
And then the Southside Crips drove by.
aoaoaoaoao
-
...before he hit it big with rap. We also have a pretty old pre-Notorious B.I.G photo of Biggie Smalls as Geisha.
-
And then the Southside Crips drove by.
aoaoaoaoao
Dang, beat me to it.
-
The ultimate defeat of the Ko Dak Dynasty was primarily attributed to their soldiers stopping to take photos during battle.
-
I'm still confused...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/funny-English-signs-in-China-15.jpg)
-
Sounds like another analect from Confusious. ahahahahah
-
Om mani padme hum
Om mani padme hum
Om mani padme hum
Om mani padme erk. . . er. . . what were we saying . . . mmmmmmmmmm
-
UmUm But us Bermudians, UmUm we have this UmUm shibboleth, where we UmUm sound confused all the time! ahahahahah
-
aiyah, aiyah, doanna thinka
thassa bermudia thing-ah
aiya, aiyah, doanna thinka
thassa bermudia thing-ah
aiyah, aiyah, just suppose-ah
tha' maybe-ah, tha' maybe-ah
we're all confused-ah alla-time-ah
yeah-ah, yeah-ah, all confused-ah
all confused-ah alla-time-ah
-
We chant to honor Great Cthulhu
Always remembering to not say his name 3 times
For if we said Cthulhu too often
Cthulhu would come to consume our bodies and souls
Oh wait, that was a bad chant
No, please
We didn't mean it
AAAIEEEE!!!!!!!!
-
Unlike the last guys, don't say Cthulhu when chanting
Unlike the last guys, don't say Cthulhu when chanting
Unlike the last guys, don't say Cthulhu when chanting
Unlike the last guys, don't say Cthulhu whe . . . AAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!!
-
For it's a jolly good Cthulhu,
For it's a jolly good Cthulhu,
For it's a jolly good Cthulhu,
That nobody can denyyaaiiiiiii
Brought to you by the makers of cthiapet
-
Yep, definitely time for a new photo. bibibibibi
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/terminatingmachine.jpg)
-
Go ahead; Let me make your day!!!
-
Soylent Industries is proud to introduce their new line of Soylent ATMs (Automatic Termination Machines).
Tired of life and decided you just can't go on? Don't want to wait for an appointment at one of our attended termination facilities? Visit your nearest conveniently located Soylent ATM and end it all now.
Features:
100% Free!
Guaranteed Quick and Painless
You can leave up to 3 different goodbye messages and specify recipients and delivery times.
If life isn't worth living, surrender yours and contribute to the world's food supply at the same time. Soylent Industries is here to help.
-
China's One Self policy... now self administered.
-
Chinese version of Futurama's suicide booth.
-
Governments around the world have now united to bring quick and simple Universal Healthcare to all people.
-
Notice: This terminus is located outside of your free local service area. An additional fee of approximately an arm and a leg will be deducted from your account upon completion of this transaction. If you agree to these terms, please press the "I Agree" button. We realize that you have many options for self-terminating and appreciate your business!
(http://www.highrisesociety.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Agree-button.jpg)
-
Since the Bureau of Public Harmony installed their new automated complaint resolution machines, there hasn't been a single case of anyone expressing dissatisfaction a second time. uuuuuuuuuu
-
The one child policy just wasn't enough to keep population growth under control.
-
The service charges are killers
-
Press 1 to be disemboweled.
Death usually takes place in 3 minutes to 1 hour.
Press 2 to be dropped into a pit full of hungry weasels.
Death usually takes 5 to 10 minutes.
Press 3 to be slowly lowered feet first into a meat grinder.
Death takes approximately 2 minutes.
Press 4 to be licked to death by Gong Li and Zhang Ziyi.
Death usually takes from 2 to 6 months.
Hmmmnnn... hard choice, but I think I'll have to go with 4.
-
4 might be faster than you imagine. Or maybe not
your action elapsed time your wife's action
look at number 4 on keypad 0.01 nanoseconds looks up from TV set
looking 0.1 nanoseconds thinks something isn't right
consider touching 4 1.25 nanoseconds knows something isn't right
considering 0.75 nanoseconds gets that look (the first one)
you may not realise it, but it's already too late
considering 0.9 seconds decides what to do about it
reach for 4 0.1 seconds gets going
reaching 0.5 seconds starts phoning friends
touching and depressing key 0.5 seconds coming to get you, still phoning friends
get dial tone 2.5 seconds still phoning friends, still coming
getting dial tone 0.5 seconds gets that look (the next one)
connected 0.1 second phones 1,000th friend, still coming
get automated answering service:
"thank you for calling Gong Li and Zhang Ziyi lick you to death.
We'll be pleased to make your demise a memorable one. Please hold the line"
10 seconds new land speed record is set.
her phone explodes
holding 0.01 nanoseconds she gets that look (#3)
holding 1 nanosecond to 20 minutes she gets there
holding 5 seconds she silently approaches you
holding 2 nanoseconds she gets that look (#4)
still holding,
begin to sense something isn't right 2 nanoseconds getting look (still #4)
wonder what it is 0.9 seconds hell freezes over
you turn around 0.5 seconds she draws a deep breath
uhh... 0.2 seconds gets that look (#5)
...oh 0.2 seconds lets you have it
cringe 0.1-2.5 seconds really lets you have it
wish you were dead 1 minute to 10,000 years really, really lets you have it
wishing 10 minutes to 10,000 years hits second gear
really wishing time is elastic there's more to come
really wishing eternity was then there's still more to come
it finally happens not soon enough and another thing
a live voice:
"Thanks for making us your source for remorse. We're always glad to help"
5 seconds and yet another thing
Automated dustpan collects your ashes; nothing left to convert to soylent
3 seconds and yet another, other thing
"Is there anything else we can do for you?"
3 seconds pause for breath
3 seconds "no, that'll be all. Thanks, girls"
Who did you think she was on the phone with?
-
This one could be interesting...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/wrapped_zpsa921517b.jpg)
-
Surrounded by a crowd of delighted Chinese entomologists, a "butterfly man" prepares to emerge from his cocoon.
-
My friend's response: "If it was a non-asian, they'd need stronger tape."
-----------
"Hahaha look at you losers, using your feet to stand. I'm actually quite comfortable up here."
-
Amazing "Levitating Man" confounds passers-by, laws of physics! How does he do it?!!!
-
One-Child-Policy Related Gender Imbalance Hits Critical Point
-
Chinese attempting to run someone out of town on a rail.
-
Tell mum I'm tied up at the moment, so I will be home a bit late!
Let's see how this guy gets out of a sticky situation!
-
In Xinjiang, a student made a light hearted remark about The Prophet, but got off lightly.
-
Are you stuck in a tree? At least the tree isn't stuck in you. Anything can happen in China, you know...
-
Oh, how pole-sitting has been reduced in stature.
-
He told them he was Spiderman, they all laughed.
He said he'd prove it, they laughed harder.
WHOSE LAUGHING NOW, SUCKERS.
-
The Venus Mantrap claims another victim. kkkkkkkkkk
-
Another pickpocket had been captured and left for the police by China's newest crime fighting super hero, Packing Tape Man.
-
Wishing to order well their states, they first regulated their families. Wishing to regulate their families, they first cultivated their persons. Wishing to cultivate their persons, they taped them to trees.
-
Extreme tree huggers - the bane of urban lumberjacks.
-
My wife told me to stick around while she went shopping.
I said, "No, I've got other things to do."
Then she got out the tape.
-
No one will be his friend anymore - since he's so stuck up. bpbpbpbpbp
-
I actually sympathize with this guy...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/dontcallonme.jpg)
-
How Not To Get Stared At...
-
Chinese development of stealth technology has taken an unexpected turn.
-
Tom Snout, the wittiest partition.
-
That wall is so well camouflaged that it blends in perfectly with that guy's clothing. ahahahahah
-
That Leonard Zelig is quite the character....
-
It's people! Soylent Walls Are Made of PEOPLE!!!!!! aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
-
Catch the crabs!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/crabvend.jpg)
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Could be worse. Could be a live chicken vending machine. ahahahahah
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Those are kept under the counter and sold in plain brown paper bags, EL oooooooooo
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Those are kept under the counter and sold in plain brown paper bags, EL oooooooooo
I thought they only did that at the Goat-O-Mat. ahahahahah
-
Tired of having your cranky little emperor whining the whole length of your trip? Subway PetsTM can solve your problem! Just buy a live pet for him to play with. If it survives until the end of the trip, you can even turn it in for a 50% refund.
Subway PetsTM currently offers crabs and hedge hogs.
Coming soon: garter snakes, crickets, and turtles.
-
Thanks Piglet for this one! agagagagag
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/blingmassage_piglet.jpg)
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It may be my pic but I can't beat your caption,man
-
Might as well go out for a special services massage. Last week's pic already gave me a case of crabs. ahahahahah
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Last week's pic already gave me a case of crabs. ahahahahah
Definitely no 'happy ending' there! ahahahahah
-
Notice the sign behind the sign??? Blind massage.
-
our 'blind' massages happy ending will turn into a 'bling' massage for you.
-
Time for a little sump'n, sump'n.
-
Notice the sign behind the sign??? Blind massage.
I'm pretty sure it says "Blinf Massage"
-
See it! One little, confused Oriental fellow faced with a bewildering array of foreign symbols -- "I don't know which way these silly laowai things go. Up, down, left, right. Who knows? Who cares? It won't matter. I'll just stick them up any way that seems most harmonious to ME!"
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Looks like Raoul found us a new pic, but forgot to put it in the thread.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/asia_13.jpg)
Don't have a yard? Don't want to deal with a leash getting all tangled up? Don't even want to worry about having to clean up the mess in your apartment? If so, Portable DogTM, Pat. Pend. is just right for you.
Just carry your little furry friend wherever you want to go. At home, hang him up over the toilet so you never have to worry about him chewing the furniture or leaving other messes for you to clean up.
Portable DogTM, Pat. Pend., now available in major retail stores throughout China.
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Hmmmmm. Was this pic even taken in China??
-
EL: Thanks! I fo'gots! akakakakak
Gerge: Shaddup, you! asasasasas
-
ahahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahah
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And due to the extra teeth, it's very resistant to purse snatchers.
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That is a great pic, RD!
EL, not sure about the dog/rodent/whichever being purse snatcher resistant. It was supposed to carry the I-phone in its mouth, no?
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That is a great pic, RD!
EL, not sure about the dog/rodent/whichever being purse snatcher resistant. It was supposed to carry the I-phone in its mouth, no?
I think the phone slot is at the other end. ahahahahah
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Damn Chinglish! The sign where I bought this said "Pouch", not "Pooch".
-
Freudian.
Almost too Freudian.
-
Next week's pic: Cat in a fanny pack. ahahahahah
-
So where is the photo from? Not China. She is probably of Chinese extraction, but not necessarily. And the dog? Ay Carumba!
-
This is the latest
guide watch dog. It is being trained to keep its eyes on the ground and to warn the owner of any potholes etc which could cause her to have a nasty fall. This has become necessary given the heel height in ladies shoes and the fact that she needs to be able to keep her eyes on the latest fashions and other more important things.
-
Version 2 of the Dog Purse is much more realistic than the original.
-
If only they made a cat fanny pack.
Oh wait. They do.
(http://craziestgadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/cat-fanny-pack.jpg)
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I've had to restrain myself here, but I'll bet he does a lot of bragging. ahahahahah
-
Oh! You naughty monkeys!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/burnedmeat.jpg)
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Truth in advertising finally has arrived. ahahahahah
-
By the way one of my students claims it really means BACON??? ahahahahah so the Torah sages had it right?? wtf?
-
Soylent biscuits are made out of burned meat!
-
My wife says it means BBQ flavour. I believe her, and many BBQs ARE burned meat.
-
A flavour biscuit is, however, something quite different.
A sniffs the air. "What is that? Burned meat?"
B: "No, man. That's a flavour biscuit."
-
Burned Vegetable flavor now available.
-
Too many very bad karma jokes to make.
NB: Product does not exist at all in western China.
-
One has to wonder where this sign actually appeared...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/john_nolefan.jpg)
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I've seen signs similar to this in a couple of restrooms. It means stand closer to the urinal when you piss.
-
Yeah literally it says something like "stand a little bit closer, be a LOT more civilized."
So someone was totally taking the piss (!) with the translation, apparently.
-
One has to wonder where this sign actually appeared...
On the wall in the Ladies' Room at the Saloon ... especially for George, when he's wearing his qipao :wtf:
-
So why the hell is the avatar smiling??? Eunuch?
-
My wife assures me that it is exactly as long as I think it is. afafafafaf
Considering how frequently and thoroughly she points out my other flaws, I believe she's telling the truth.
-
"We aim to please; your aim will help!" bfbfbfbfbf
-
Where's Waldo?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/traffic.jpg)
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A much lower than expected turnout at bus stations around town should make life easy for commuters this morning.
-
If you guys think that's bad, I should take a picture of the subway at rush hour on my way to work tomorrow ...
-
I have to say that crowds have become much easier to navigate since the Chinese discovered queuing
-
Can you spot the Lone Laowai in this picture? mmmmmmmmmm
-
"Chinese passengers take advantage of the lull before the daily rush hour"
-
Approximately 3000 deaths and 25.000 serious injuries, but we did manage to break the world record for how many people could squeeze into one city bus. agagagagag
-
Say hunh?!?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/China_Funny_English_inscriptions_Summer-Palace-Beijing.jpg)
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I see this every weekend on the Guangzhou Metro ahahahahah bibibibibi
-
I suggest turning neither left nor right, but instead proceeding forward.
-
The guider, with a classy kind of sassy, told me to....
WALK THIS WAY!
-
I don't see what the confusion is. If you are a visitor, go left. If you are "this way", go right. Otherwise, stand still and await further instructions.
-
I'm torn....
-
I'm torn....
Chinese philosophers have embarked on a new signage campaign designed to make foreigners take the time to stop and contemplate which is the best path to take.
-
Where's my jetpack?
-
Two roads diverged in a Chinese wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And read one sign as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
-
Alice was in China?!?
-
How do they know what color your English is? mmmmmmmmmm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/whiteenglish.jpg)
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At last honesty in advertising aaaaaaaaaa
-
So foolish....anyone can teach white English. But call me if you need someone to teach some #@#$! blue English! asasasasas . Otherwise, :lickass: White English, ....sigh....
-
Please tell me there's not a small sign nearby saying "Colored English use back door."
:wtf:
-
None of this anti racist, sexist ageist bullshit. The Chinese tell it like it is. Good onya Chinamen.
-
None of this anti racist, sexist ageist bullshit. The Chinese tell it like it is. Good onya Chinamen.
I wonder what Gonzo's reaction would have been if it had said "Australians need not apply." mmmmmmmmmm ahahahahah
-
So no Ebonic either? ababababab
-
Lilly white? Off white? Be specific.
-
"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas........"
-
Nazi English is now recruiting new teachers. hhhhhhhhhh
-
None of this anti racist, sexist ageist bullshit. The Chinese tell it like it is. Good onya Chinamen.
I wonder what Gonzo's reaction would have been if it had said "Australians need not apply." mmmmmmmmmm ahahahahah
Mine? No Aussie worthy of his or her heritage would apply for this job. I'm almost tempted to make a call to the advertised number, put them through the process and then tell them to stick their racist job up their racist arses.
However the website the advert comes from just shows up as porn: thanks George!
-
Maybe I should tell my buddy Leroy White to apply for this job.
What are the current rules of whiteness these days anyway? Is it still one drop of white blood makes you one of them?
It's pretty inclusive for a change, even the Irish are allowed.
-
I am sort of dirty pink is that ok? Oops I also have a huge schnook. ababababab
-
However the website the advert comes from just shows up as porn: thanks George!
I didn't suggest you go to the site, Gonzo. bibibibibi
It's an interesting site though, in as much as it has it's cute bits, such as that shot, but also some appallingly racist and sexist crap! It's a West Aust site so that's probably as much as we can expect from there.
PS..as you can see, it's not an advert on the site, it's a pic of a sign, somewhere in China.
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It's pretty inclusive for a change, even the Irish are allowed.
Irish are acceptable, but No Belgians! We have to draw the line somewhere. ahahahahah
-
PS..as you can see, it's not an advert on the site, it's a pic of a sign, somewhere in China.
Nah, just the phone number on the sign. You're as racist as I am old buddy.
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It's pretty inclusive for a change, even the Irish are allowed.
Irish are acceptable, but No Belgians! We have to draw the line somewhere. ahahahahah
Italians?
-
It's pretty inclusive for a change, even the Irish are allowed.
Irish are acceptable, but No Belgians! We have to draw the line somewhere. ahahahahah
Italians?
Hot looking female Italians yes. Others will be considered on a case-by-case basis.
-
Meanwhile: this week's monster...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/drops_macattack.jpg)
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The few wild birds in China that haven't been eaten are known for their large droppings.
-
KEEP AWAY from this area or it will be on your own head!
So it is true....pigs can fly!
-
The Japanese text reads "Wait in front of this sign and you will get a special gift from the people of China." uuuuuuuuuu
-
Sorry.
This person moved or deleted this image.
I just HATE when that happens.
bjbjbjbjbj
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Chinese society became much more harmonious after these signs were posted along all paths leading beneath Chinese toilet facilities.
-
Don't pinch this fruit!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/funny_chinese_product4.jpg)
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Dammit Raoul!!! asasasasas You weren't supposed to publicly share that pic of my wife's ass! asasasasas
-
But it's so round, firm and yellow... afafafafaf
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There is only one. Usually it's a pair.
-
umm, that's not quite what I meant when I said that she had a nice pear
-
It's open season on cover pictures again! axaxaxaxax
Here's China's version of Blue Man Group...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/RaoulSaloon/Saloonies/bluemangroup.jpg)
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Casual Friday, Chinese style. ahahahahah
-
I gotta do the obvious :)
你看吧! 老外!....hallo, he he he.
-
I may look as though I'm conforming, but underneath, I'm wearing sexy pink lingerie.
-
Headlining today: New York's The Blue Man Group!
Doesn't encore.
-
blue collar workers in china.
-
Fashion Week in Anhui always brings out the most unique and daring new styles.
-
"My God, Dexter... how did we end up here?"
-
Hey Cho, is that a Crip?
-
If we get enough people wearing sky blue outfits, it will reflect in the atmosphere and make the sky look blue.
-
I don't know why we bother checking; it's always a male photographer! bibibibibi
-
I thought the east was red.
-
we should keep the current picture of Raoul F duke up for minimum of 6 months. out of respect for the man who created this for us all. A truly generous man who got a bit of a raw deal of this life, but made the most of it.
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Agree,Fox good idea. bjbjbjbjbj bjbjbjbjbj
-
I would love to see some more photos of Raoul if anyone has some.
-
we should keep the current picture of Raoul F duke up for minimum of 6 months
I'm pretty sure Phil wouldn't have wanted any sort of personality cult developing.Also, while the current avatar shows the theatrical and dramatic "Raoul", its not really Phil as people knew him. He'd be urging us to do business as usual, minus the squabbling. He told me in his last PM how much he hated this. The best sign of respect we could show would be for the forum to be healthy in ten years time. That, he would approve of!
-
The best sign of respect we could show would be for the forum to be healthy in ten years time. That, he would approve of!
bjbjbjbjbj Agreed agagagagag
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we should keep the current picture of Raoul F duke up for minimum of 6 months
I'm pretty sure Phil wouldn't have wanted any sort of personality cult developing.Also, while the current avatar shows the theatrical and dramatic "Raoul", its not really Phil as people knew him. He'd be urging us to do business as usual, minus the squabbling. He told me in his last PM how much he hated this. The best sign of respect we could show would be for the forum to be healthy in ten years time. That, he would approve of!
In yet another sign of the apocalypse, I find myself in total agreement with Gonzo. aoaoaoaoao
Please give the mods and admins a few days. We promise that Raoul's memory will be well taken care of.
-
a decision best made by those who knew him personally methinks.
-
we should keep the current picture of Raoul F duke up for minimum of 6 months
I'm pretty sure Phil wouldn't have wanted any sort of personality cult developing.Also, while the current avatar shows the theatrical and dramatic "Raoul", its not really Phil as people knew him. He'd be urging us to do business as usual, minus the squabbling. He told me in his last PM how much he hated this. The best sign of respect we could show would be for the forum to be healthy in ten years time. That, he would approve of!
I agree 100%. This place will always be "Raoul's" China Saloon, and it will be a memorial to him no matter what picture is on the front page. While this has been shocking and heartbreaking for us all, we need to try and keep the Saloon going as normally as possible. It is what he'd have wanted.
And, as EL said, the staff is working on a way to properly memorialize Raoul and I am sure you will all be pleased with the outcome. :)
-
Agree. Raoul would not have wanted his ugly mug plastered on the front page for any length of time. On the other hand, Granny Mae would like to see other pics of Raoul, outside of fancy dress, but methinks they should be placed in The Memorial Garden. Post 'em if ya gots 'em! I will, but I gots to find them first.
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Agree. Raoul would not have wanted his ugly mug plastered on the front page for any length of time. On the other hand, Granny Mae would like to see other pics of Raoul, outside of fancy dress, but methinks they should be placed in The Memorial Garden. Post 'em if ya gots 'em! I will, but I gots to find them first.
I was able to put some slightly alarming faces to names by looking at the photos on the old site that someone posted a link to.
Many of them were of one of the annual Suzhou gatherings. I feel a bit like somone who was born too late to see The Beatles live; if 'seeing The Beatles Live' was a euphemism for weekends of excessive drinking with saloonies.
-
Where did that link go? I can't find it!! llllllllll
-
Thanks George, It would be really special to see some photos of Raoul in the Memorial Garden.
-
And our admin forgets to post the pic in the thread. Some things never change. ahahahahah
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/pics/john.jpg)
Mine is. My wife measured it so she can brag to her friends about how great I am. afafafafaf
-
Mine is. My wife measured it so she can brag to her friends about how great I am. afafafafaf
Using the metric system, it always sounds bigger.
This pic has to be a good joke. The grammar is too good for the interpretation to be so bad.
-
Mine is. My wife measured it so she can brag to her friends about how great I am. afafafafaf
The feeling you get when a girl brags to all of her friends about the size of your schlong while you're in the room....
-
Take it from one who knows boys; "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog". uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu afafafafaf
I take it that this is probably intended for the male toilets to stop the "drips" on the seats. Yeah, you can take that either way. ahahahahah Wonder if there is something funny for the ladies loo?
-
One day we caught a taxi in Yanji. Mrs. Casey sat up front, I sat in the back. She was so completely pi$$ed off when we got to our destination, I was afraid I had done something. It seems the driver had asked her who I was. When learned I was the hubby, he had the audacity to ask her if it was true that westerner's dicks were really better at sastifying chinese women than Chinese dicks ever were. Needless to say she wanted to slap him silly, but insted ignored his crudeness. I only shook my head in disgust, but told her she should have told him I had more enough to completely sastify her and still had enough to completely service three more women.
-
Are you sure she wasn't angry because from her experience it is not true?
-
Wonder if there is any way we could arrange an experiment? ahahahahah uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah I actually asked that question of a lady, with apparently a fair bit of experience in that area afafafafaf and she told me, that as a general rule, it is not true.
-
Wonder if there is any way we could arrange an experiment? ahahahahah uuuuuuuuuu ahahahahah I actually asked that question of a lady, with apparently a fair bit of experience in that area afafafafaf and she told me, that as a general rule, it is not true.
I volunteer to demonstrate how well I . . . measure up as well as how well I satisfy any ladies who wish to compare my skills against others.
I realize this could be an arduous task, but am willing to do it for the advancement of science.
-
Thanks for the kind offer EL, but I was thinking more in terms of how the Chinese male "measures" up as a race of people. I've seen plenty of Anglo males, but don't know much about Asians; perhaps I should have nursed in China. uuuuuuuuuu The lady I spoke to in China claimed to have had plenty of experience in that area though. ahahahahah
-
Judging by any underwear I've bought in Asia, it's true. They may fit in the ass and the waist... but there's no room for the 'package' - it can be downright painful!
asasasasas
Now, I know some 'smart ass' is going to tell me to stop buying women's underwear... but I assure you - these were for men. ababababab
-
Judging by any underwear I've bought in Asia, it's true. They may fit in the ass and the waist... but there's no room for the 'package' - it can be downright painful!
asasasasas
Now, I know some 'smart ass' is going to tell me to stop buying women's underwear... but I assure you - these were for men. ababababab
I had to buy some underwear in Yanji after my bags were left in Newark international one year. I had to get XXXXL (I wear L in the US), the brand on the box was "Fattie"
-
Judging by any underwear I've bought in Asia, it's true. They may fit in the ass and the waist... but there's no room for the 'package' - it can be downright painful!
asasasasas
Now, I know some 'smart ass' is going to tell me to stop buying women's underwear... but I assure you - these were for men. ababababab
I had to buy some underwear in Yanji after my bags were left in Newark international one year. I had to get XXXXL (I wear L in the US), the brand on the box was "Fattie"
Long John with a Ding-Dong
-
Speaking of knickers, The Babe brought me some back. They are made from wood!....the fabric is made from Birch fibre. Very comfortable, and so far, no splinters. ahahahahah
-
It's about time you got a woody
-
Speaking of knickers, The Babe brought me some back. They are made from wood!....the fabric is made from Birch fibre. Very comfortable, and so far, no splinters. ahahahahah
How do you clean them? In the washing machine? Or with a piece of sand paper?
I really am curious....
-
How do you clean them?
I don't clean them....just a new coat of paint, and they're brilliant! ahahahahah ahahahahah
the fabric is made from Birch fibre
fabric = washing machine. Stuff these days is made from all kinds of other stuff....hemp...bamboo...birch trees, etc. Much better than plastic.
-
just nobody light a match though
-
If you're lucky, its made from the same timber that Papa Geppetto used. This way, when you lie to the Babe, she'll be happy about it
-
bkbkbkbkbk
-
Yes. Funny! ahahahahah
-
I started thinking about the Ray Stevens song "Along came Jones"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkiilenHpVQ
or an X-rated Treasure Island with "Long Dong Silver"
-
Look what DS unearthed while digging through the ruins of the original Saloon.
(http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f394/dragonsaver/Pictures%20for%20the%20Saloon/RaoulsBarRules2.jpg)
Rules to live by! agagagagag
-
Serves them right for leaving
-
bkbkbkbkbk axaxaxaxax
-
Rule 2. That thing in the corner is not a statue. George just moves a little slowly due to being fossilized. ahahahahah
-
If you drink don't drive, do the watermelon crawl"
Read more: TRACY BYRD - WATERMELON CRAWL LYRICS
-
Please move you feet - you're standing on my hands. :alcoholic:
-
I used to send my picks the Big Boss Man for this. May I ask who's handling it now? I'm going to need an email to send it to the person. Obviously send it to me via PM
-
Oh and by the way, please move your hands, you're tickling my feet
-
I used to send my picks the Big Boss Man for this. May I ask who's handling it now? I'm going to need an email to send it to the person. Obviously send it to me via PM
Dragonsaver akakakakak & Escaped Lunatic aoaoaoaoao are our HeadLiner Experts agagagagag
-
Changing it requires using one's forums passwords. Since my browser remembers these far better than I do, I keep hoping DS will upload the next pic. ahahahahah
-
I plan on doing it. bjbjbjbjbj I just need some sage advice from our computer expert Noles
I am missing a step in the process to achieve success llllllllll llllllllll
-
:wtf:
-
I plan on doing it. bjbjbjbjbj I just need some sage advice from our computer expert Noles
I am missing a step in the process to achieve success llllllllll llllllllll
Hurry up! I've been trying to leave (and been tickling Day Dreamer's feet for over a month now).
-
hehehe ahahahahah
-
there is part of the program that I can't get into. Noles has to fix it. llllllllll llllllllll
-
there is part of the program that I can't get into. Noles has to fix it. llllllllll llllllllll
A thermo-nuclear bomb should do the trick.
Or a good dragon-fart
-
fixed :-)
-
This is going to save us millions of RMBs every year. The scooters are cheaply made in China, but the army boots are imported and they cost a fortune
-
Gotcha, right in the ass. Maybe we shouldn't be so close together
-
Following a number of serious accidents, foot horns will now be trialled on these military vehicles.
Given that many of these young soldiers have never driven a motor vehicle, it was decided that they should be issued with training wheels first.
-
what happens when american style road rage meets chinese style traffic?
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/military.jpg)
"We'll have the area secured in 2 hours."
"But sir, our batteries will only last another 30 minutes."
-
Out-dated divisions such as "Cavalry" have been replaced with more modern, pragmatic ones, such as "Mall Cop Corps." Every shopping center is a potential battlefield.
-
Darth Vader has fallen so far.
-
Combat Report:
Battle was going in our favor. Enemy infantry units retreated. Pursued with intent to capture or kill. Pursuit ended when enemy successfully escaped by running up a stairway.
-
And then a new threat emerged:
(http://i.qkme.me/3rvvoc.jpg)
And a new type of soldier was needed....
-
In China, they'd be "gently/warmly reminded" not to drive their Hoverounds on the grass.
And EL nailed it on the effectiveness of these contraptions for control/pursuit. What happens when they encounter steps? Or just a curb? Or those ubiquitous fences and small gates in Chinese parks and "open spaces"?
-
And EL nailed it on the effectiveness of these contraptions for control/pursuit. What happens when they encounter steps? Or just a curb? Or those ubiquitous fences and small gates in Chinese parks and "open spaces"?
There are no steps between the shuffleboard courts and the lunch buffets.
-
And EL nailed it on the effectiveness of these contraptions for control/pursuit. What happens when they encounter steps? Or just a curb? Or those ubiquitous fences and small gates in Chinese parks and "open spaces"?
I believe your scenario would go something like this: *THUD* *CRACK* "My arm!!!" ananananan
Segways are actually great fun to play on. I managed to hijack borrow one for a few minutes once.
-
Back in the day, rifles were at least 3 feet long and jeeps had 4 wheels. This downsizing shit has affected the army too
-
Back in the day, rifles were at least 3 feet long and jeeps had 4 wheels. This downsizing shit has affected the army too
It's not downsizing, it's efficiency! Wait until you see the unicycle special forces units in action. ahahahahah
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Back in the day, rifles were at least 3 feet long and jeeps had 4 wheels. This downsizing shit has affected the army too
It's not downsizing, it's efficiency! Wait until you see the unicycle special forces units in action. ahahahahah
with pea shooters
-
Overheard from the reviewing stand:
Xi Jingping: General Fang Fenghui, when you said the People's Army was adopting a stealthy profile to counter the Americans, I was expecting something a little less obvious.
-
Overheard from the reviewing stand:
Xi Jingping: General Fang Fenghui, when you said the People's Army was adopting a stealthy profile to counter the Americans, I was expecting something a little less obvious.
But sir, our Stealth Segways have a smaller radar profile than anything the American Military has ever deployed.
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/nana.jpg)
I finally understand what they mean by food porn!
bjbjbjbjbj
-
If cabbage looked like that, I'd even eat kimchie.
-
Eat your vegetables takes on a whole new meaning. afafafafaf
-
If cabbage looked like that, I'd even eat kimchie.
That is Kim Qi
-
That is Kim Qi
Daenerys Targaryen's first attempt.
-
Is it just me, or does she look a little spicy? afafafafaf
-
and my brother wonders why I like Chinese food.
-
She's enough to make me consider going vegetarian. ahahahahah
-
So, what do you want for dessert?
More cabbage!
-
anyone up for a cabbage roll
-
anyone up for a cabbage roll
Rather have a roll in the cabbage.
-
anyone up for a cabbage roll
Rather have a roll in the cabbage.
and that's how you make Brussel sprouts
-
Leaf me alone!
-
"Some Like It Hot"! bfbfbfbfbf
-
A press release from the Ministry of Press Releases denies rumors that seductive cabbage girls are part of the first wave of an anti-animal revolution being launched by fruits and vegetables worldwide.
-
Mama said "Eat your greens". Mama knows best.
-
She's part of a new band called Lettuce Entertain You. ahahahahah
-
hot enough to melt an iceberg....
-
She was like no other girl I'd ever met. Her amazing green curves drew my eye even as her sparkling personality grew in my mind. Our relationship quickly bloomed into a sizzling, spicy passion like no other. I took her to my family's house for dinner. Due to an unfortunate miscommunication regarding my intentions, my mother cooked her.
I'll always remember every moment with her, from the moment we first met until I swallowed the last bite.
-
This isn't your children's "Cabbage Patch Kid" here.... This one's for daddy.....
-
Is that a carrot in your pocket or are you just happy to
eat meet me
-
I know its hot in there, but do you have to check for armpit odor in public?
-
With a side order of...
cucumber?
kugua?
carrot?
broccoli?
You should get that seen to.
:(
-
All I know is that that cabbage is one hot tomato
-
If only she had a sister.
Oh wait! She does! agagagagag
(http://juduoqi.com/pic/Susan.jpg)
-
I've never know cabbage to take cheesecake pictures
-
I've never know cabbage to take cheesecake pictures
You don't hang out with the right cabbage.
-
What if Chinese scientists managed to merge some of Marilyn Monroe's DNA into a Chinese cabbage? I think the results would look something like this:
(http://juduoqi.com/pic/Mimi.jpg)
-
Wow agagagagag agagagagag That one is really great bfbfbfbfbf agagagagag agagagagag
-
Great photos EL! bfbfbfbfbf At least you wouldn't have to worry about the blokes not eating their cabbage. ahahahahah
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Great photos EL! bfbfbfbfbf At least you wouldn't have to worry about the blokes not eating their cabbage. ahahahahah
If he starts posting pictures of carrots and cucumbers, I'm outta here!
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Great photos EL! bfbfbfbfbf At least you wouldn't have to worry about the blokes not eating their cabbage. ahahahahah
If he starts posting pictures of carrots and cucumbers, I'm outta here!
I'm saving those for next week. uuuuuuuuuu
(http://juduoqi.com/pic/An.jpg)
If only Ju Duoqi would do another fantasy cabbage series. akakakakak
-
....and wife in boot. bjbjbjbjbj
-
...and drunk off his tits.
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/babay.jpg)
My parents could have used this sign a couple of times in the old "throw the young'uns in the back" era of car safety.
-
Credit please!! ababababab ababababab
-
Watch out for dirty nappies!
-
The initial test run of mobile organic speed bumps only slowed down cars slightly. Slight older children who are overweight will be used in the next test.
Credit please!! ababababab ababababab
Credit (or blame) for this one goes to Day Dreamer.
-
Credit (or blame) for this one goes to Day Dreamer.
asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas asasasasas
Blatant plagiarism!!! I posted this on June 8, 2010!!
http://raoulschinasaloon.com/index.php?topic=169.105 (http://raoulschinasaloon.com/index.php?topic=169.105)
-
I recommend that you and DD have a duel. Each of you gets a basket of mackerel. Stand back to back, walk 5 paces, turn and fire.
Oh, and cool pic! Thanks to DD George. agagagagag
-
Where did D-bloody-D find it???
-
I have a bunch of them, some copied, some my own. I even have one on a motorcycle that says "Baby in Car"
The truth is when I sent EL a bunch of pics, I didn't discern which were mine or copies. I won't deny it might be George's, I just don't remember any more I have so many. Next time I'll send pics with me in them
Regardless, this pic is wrong. Usually the baby is in the front in the driver's lap
-
Where did D-bloody-D find it???
Don't swear at me please
-
I wasn't swearing at you DD, because I'm not upset...just curious. If my pics are floating around the Internet, I'd like to find out where they are.
-
These annoying Baby on Board signs are at plague proportions in Australia. What do they want us to do? Sing a lullaby as we drive past? aaaaaaaaaa
-
Actually, the original purpose of the signs was to alert paramedics and emergency workers that there was a child in the car. This would help prevent a child from being left in a car that was in an accident. aoaoaoaoao Or worst case scenario if the car seat was thrown from the car and the kid was in the bushes etc. (that has actually happened in an accident) aoaoaoaoao
However, the sign should really be removable and only put on car when the child was actually in the car.
-
Even the easily removable ones are almost never removed. Either that or a lot more people just permanently leave those kids in the car while they are at work, shopping, and all night. This, plus the requirement for big, obvious baby seats in many countries renders the original purpose of those signs pointless.
I'd love to see someone get charged for the resources wasted checking around an accident scene for a baby that was safely at home the whole time.
Don't swear at me please
That's not what you said last night. afafafafaf
-
These were everywhere in the U.S. in the '80's. Even made an appearance in "Forrest Gump". I thought it was telling the other drivers to avoid hitting this car and swerve into the one driven by the old geezers.
I assume that in China since babies are more plentiful than safety cones their using them to mark potholes.
-
Excessive demand for daycare space has lead some cities to use creative measures.
These were everywhere in the U.S. in the '80's. Even made an appearance in "Forrest Gump". I thought it was telling the other drivers to avoid hitting this car and swerve into the one driven by the old geezers.
Single person with no dependents in car - please feel free to crash into me!
-
and we're on!!!
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/wecare.jpg)
let me hear them..
-
Thanks for changing! This is a good one.
If you do jump in please cover yourself in Nestle Chocolate spread.
-
Any persons that are eaten, then found to cause the animals an upset stomach will have charges brought upon their estate. Thank you.
-
And charged with cruelty to animals
-
Do not stand, sit climb or lean on zoo fences
Except the fat kids. Yea fatso, you go ahead and come closer
-
Seems like a totally reasonable sign to me.
-
Because "Torn to pieces, eaten, and vomited up" would look very bad on your tombstone. kkkkkkkkkk
-
good one, noles
famous last words: "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing"
-
famous last words: "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing"
Sign? Who care's about the sign. Hey ya'll, watch this! Ooops! (thud) Ouch! How do I get out of here? Oh, nice panda. Come here and I'll scra... What the hell! It bit me! Help! HELP!!! AAAIIIEEE!!!!! (nom nom nom)
-
After the lions learned of the enormous power of reverse psychology on weaker minds, they quickly made signs that assured them of an unending supply of stupid humans to eat.
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/chicken.jpg)
Hey George! Can you make this one dance? ahahahahah
-
new product for the chinese market. Just look at all those yummy feet
-
"I'm not tip-toeing through any fricken tulips!"
-
Kentucky Freak Chicken
-
I'm also not doing the Hokey-Pokey
-
Wow, that's some feat!
-
Nobody here but us chicken.
-
I got to stop eating centipedes!
-
ELs cloning experiments gone bad. uuuuuuuuuu
-
Chickenzilla tramples downtown Tokyo much more efficiently than Godzilla.
-
COMPANYYYYY MARCH!
Left 1
Left 2
Left 3
Left 4
Right 1
Right 2
Right 3
Right 4
Left 5
Left 6
Left 7
Left 8
Right 5
Right 6
Right 7
Right 8
-
Put your best feet forward. ahahahahah
-
Damn, this is the country that likes to eat chicken feet
-
Three Legged Chicken
A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken running down the road. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.
Pretty fast chicken, he thought, I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph!
The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!!
Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long driveway leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard with dozens of three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the farmer "How did you get all these three legged chickens?"
The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya see it's me, my wife and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece."
"That's amazing!" said the driver "How do they taste?"
"Don't rightly know, I ain't caught one yet!"
-
That's twenty small steps for a chicken, one giant leap for all chicken-kind.
-
And now you know why they call it a cup
-
Hey, Mr Tambourmannequin, play a song for me.
-
I'll wok your world~
-
Of course I look upset, how else would you expect me to look?
-
Noles forgot to add the pic to the thread:
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/mannekin.jpg)
Who the hell are you?
Name's Ash. Housewares.
-
I'll wok your world~
I was thinking more along the lines of the Raiders of the Lost Wok
-
Stainless Steel Kitchenware Man makes Iron Man look like a wuss.
-
The use of magnets in Chinese Traditional Medicine can have unforeseen side effects.
-
who would have thought he needed such a big platter to cover his groin, and such small bowls for his knees?
-
If you think the new Tin Man is lame, you should see how bad they did with the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion. ahahahahah
-
Hey doc, there's far too much iron in my diet, look at these brutal pimples
-
Tonight's challenger takes the whole Iron Chef concept very seriously.
-
Movie sequel; "Edward Spatula-hands"
-
is that a codpiece on your belt, or you just glad to see the girls?
-
The kitchen god demands sacrifices!
-
This armour is good stuff but it's making my compass spin like a top
-
Kill the wabbit!!!
-
Kitchenware + superglue + alcohol = guaranteed bad outcome.
-
Kitchenware + superglue + alcohol = guaranteed bad outcome.
Kitchenware + superglue + alcohol = safe kitchen sex
-
Introducing the Asian Portable One Man Steel Drum Band
edited: Shouldn't be Trinidadian
-
"Don't even ask where they have shoved that extra fire extinguisher!" bibibibibi
-
"Don't even ask where they have shoved that extra fire extinguisher!" bibibibibi
Kitchenware + superglue + alcohol + fire extinguisher + Granny Mae = aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
-
Yes ma'am, that is a 9" pan and I can prove it afafafafaf
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/raoul10.jpg)
YYYYAAAAYYYY!!!!
jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj
-
10 years of liver-failure-inducing fake imported booze
-
If we had any real relent, we could have done it in 3
-
here we go....
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/yelling.jpg)
For when others can't understand you anymore
-
Anesthesia?
Just count backwards from mind-shattering pain.
-
That is the most appropriate name for a student dental clinic.
-
Just relax. This won't hurt at all. uuuuuuuuuu
-
(whispers to the assistant mid way through the screams and blood of the inspection).... i think we need the other drill, go and get the big one. it says black&decker on it.....
-
I actually had a real dentist called Dr Screech back in the UK.Funny I never felt comfortable there...
-
Yelling, but no screaming aloud. (Screaming hurts Dr. Payne's fillings.)
-
I'm sorry, Doctor Payne is booked solid this week. Dr. Blood has an opening tomorrow at 2 pm.
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/police.jpg)
Have all the police in your town gone missing? If so, just dial the police at 110 and a friendly officer will be dispatched to investiga . . . oh wait. bibibibibi
-
Traditionally, at this time of year, Raoul would delete alternative headings for Our Lady of China.
(http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5247/5315212627_32d9e08aef_z.jpg)
And every year I would forget and make jokes anyway. agagagagag
-
There's a sign you'll never see in a donut shop
-
And by the way is that Arabic at the top of the missing police sign? And if so does that means it comes from Xinjiang? Just curious! bjbjbjbjbj
-
And by the way is that Arabic at the top of the missing police sign? And if so does that means it comes from Xinjiang? Just curious! bjbjbjbjbj
That may explain things ahahahahah
-
In light of the recent trend of missing police officers, the Sanlu Milk Corporation will be putting their pictures on cartons of our fine dairy products.
-
And by the way is that Arabic at the top of the missing police sign? And if so does that means it comes from Xinjiang? Just curious! bjbjbjbjbj
Could be but not necessarily. It would mean there are pockets of Arabic speakers in this area though. I've seen Arabic on signs in Xi'an and Yiwu before and I would think Gansu would have too. In my area there in an eastern suburb of Changsha, all signs have Korean while Changsha proper does not.
-
Recruits must present their "Neighbourhood Hide-n-Seek Championship" certificate to apply
-
Indeed indeed... and we respect traditions in the saloon, including making sure that there's nut cigarette butts on the floor to scrape George's knees ababababab
Best wishes y'all and like it it says up there, pay up!!!
-
yes, indeedy! Merry Xmas to allabodies. agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag agagagagag
-
A Merry Ho Ho to all - I hope you got want you needed and what you wanted
-
And by the way is that Arabic at the top of the missing police sign? And if so does that means it comes from Xinjiang? Just curious! bjbjbjbjbj
Could be but not necessarily. It would mean there are pockets of Arabic speakers in this area though. I've seen Arabic on signs in Xi'an and Yiwu before and I would think Gansu would have too. In my area there in an eastern suburb of Changsha, all signs have Korean while Changsha proper does not.
While Stil is right, that particular sign is actually in Xinjiang. It says at the bottom there -- Hetian city (which is also known as Hotan).
Merry Christmas everyone!
-
Just unleashing a bit of Grinch.....Who put 2 "L's" in Holiday? Was it Billie?? ahahahahah ahahahahah
-
Merry Christmas everybody! agagagagag I hope that your Christmas day is very special. bfbfbfbfbf
-
Indeed indeed... and we respect traditions in the saloon, including making sure that there's nut cigarette butts on the floor to scrape George's knees ababababab
Best wishes y'all and like it it says up there, pay up!!!
If George would pay his bar tab, we'd have enough money to build a new Saloon on Hainan. ahahahahah
-
time for a change folks
-
time for a change folks
asketh and thou shelleth receiveth bjbjbjbjbj
-
time for a change folks
asketh and thou shelleth receiveth bjbjbjbjbj
I want a tall blonde with big boobs ababababab
-
I want a tall blonde with big boobs ababababab
Here you go cheexyblonde
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/evolution.jpg)
Photo of Noles after he spent too long enjoying the fresh air in Beijing. ahahahahah
-
Do not invite this guy if we're going to do lines tonight
-
I want a tall blonde with big boobs ababababab
Here you go cheexyblonde
bibibibibi
-
Always check your plastic surgeon's credentials (and sobriety) before getting a nose job. yyyyyyyyyy
-
I want a tall blonde with big boobs
My wife says you can't have me
-
"Heaven only nose". bfbfbfbfbf
-
I want a tall blonde with big boobs
My wife says you can't have me
My wife says I can't have you too
-
With the new Forehead Nose, sneezing your brains out has never been easier.
-
how's he going to get his fingers in there?
-
I'd be interested to know the story behind this.
Who knows?
-
I'd be interested to know the story behind this.
Who knows?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/xiaolian-chinese-man-grows-new-nose-for-transplant-on-his-forehead-8840974.html
-
I'd be interested to know the story behind this.
Who knows?
Nobody nose.
-
Don't ruin perfectly good wild speculation by revealing the backstory so early. asasasasas
With the new Forehead Nose, there's 37% less neck strain putting your nose to the grindstone.
-
"He's always turning his nose up at things."
-
Dude could commit suicide by wearing a hat.
-
Does anybody remember the lead singer from "Sniff and the Tears"?
-
Study study grindstone, nose nose up.
-
If a big nose means a big c*ck, I don't want to see this guy's junk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
-
Not too long ago there was a true story of a worker who had his hand severed. The damage to the hand itself was actually minor, it was a clean cut. But his wrist needed time before the hand could have been reattached. So, how do you keep the limb from atrophying? Easy, graft it to the guys ankle where his own system maintains circulation and whatnot. In time when his wrist is ready, the hand can be returned to its rightful place.
Let's hope it won't be sewn on backwards! Apparently many doctors from around came to see the freak procedure. Too lazy to look, but it was in China Daily
-
If a big nose means a big c*ck, I don't want to see this guy's junk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
Damn! and all this time I have been looking at the length of the fingers. bibibibibi
-
Two plastic surgery students compare notes after their final exams.
"Wait, they go in the middle? AW MAN! I TOTALLY BLEW THAT NOSE!"
-
Two more places to hold bottle rockets!
-
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose
AND NOWWWWWWWWWWW,
you caaaaan pick your friend's nose
-
Another sign of the impending apocalypse, as foretold by Nostrildamus. ahahahahah
-
Disdainful = scornful = stuck up = keep one's nose in the air
-
Putting his nose into a witch's business had unfortunate consequences.
-
Crazy English, enjoy losing your face, a survivor's story.
-
Don't get your nose out of joint.
Crazy English, enjoy losing your face, a survivor's story.
Looks more like gaining face to me. ahahahahah
-
Can we get a new avatar? I feel like throwing up every time I see this one.
How about a girl? With big boobs? And Chinese, to boot.
-
Yeah, Gonzo is right. Could we get a cheerier avatar for Spring Festival?
-
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/01/21/article-2543294-1AD8C33A00000578-848_634x459.jpg)
Better?
-
Can we get a new avatar? I feel like throwing up every time I see this one.
How about a girl? With big boobs? And Chinese, to boot.
You want to boot a big bobbed Chinese girl mmmmmmmmmm
You sir, have issues
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/evolution.jpg)
You don't want to know where they put the ear
:lickass:
-
Agree with gonzo and etr. It's annoying, and has overstayed it's "sell-by" date for "nose" comments.
Next.
-
Also agreed.
-
Can we get a new avatar? I feel like throwing up every time I see this one.
How about a girl? With big boobs? And Chinese, to boot.
Sorry y'all. I'm away without my computer so can't upload stuff. I'll see if any of the other mods can do it
-
When people see this guy, do they exclaim "Oh Snot!"? ahahahahah
-
back in town with full access...
Here you go:
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/cats.jpg)
-
All hail Chairman Meow! agagagagag
-
See cats.
(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/19eueegpmr7u4png/ku-xlarge.png)
Lose mind.
-
Netizens unimpressed
(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/19eueeknpwliqpng/ku-xlarge.png)
Suspicious
(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/19eueegpkys6bpng/ku-xlarge.png)
Hopeful.
-
Breaking News! China is secretly run by a cat cult! The proof is on the 100 RMB notes. Check them yourself if you don't believe it.
-
Catalyst roader
-
It's cats. Soylent RMB is made out of cats. They're making our money out of cats. Next thing they'll be breeding them like cattle for money. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!
-
(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/19euzrmxj9lxfjpg/ku-xlarge.jpg)
-
It's cats. Soylent RMB is made out of cats. They're making our money out of cats. Next thing they'll be breeding them like cattle for money. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!
Breeding them is a cinch, herding them on the other hand kkkkkkkkkk
-
Nice work Calach. bfbfbfbfbf
-
Toxiplasmosis: Middle Kingdom style
-
"Revolution"
Writer(s): Paul Mccartney, John Lennon
Copyright: Sony/ATV Tunes LLC
You say you want a revolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright, alright
You say you got a real solution
Well you know
We don't love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well you know
We're doing what we can
But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright, alright, al...
You say you'll change the constitution
Well you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well you know
You better free your mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know know it's gonna be alright
Alright, alright
Alright, alright
Alright, alright
Alright, alright
Alright, alright
-
I hate to point out any errors by my favorite band, but I do believe the Chairman was successful enough to end up with his face on a lot more money than the Fab 4.
-
I hate to point out any errors by my favorite band, but I do believe the Chairman was successful enough to end up with his face on a lot more money than the Fab 4.
But The Beatles never worshipped cats
-
orly?
(http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26100000/The-Beatles-with-cats-the-beatles-26185824-300-300.jpg)
(http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26100000/The-Beatles-with-cats-the-beatles-26185824-300-300.jpg)
cats
-
I hate to point out any errors by my favorite band, but I do believe the Chairman was successful enough to end up with his face on a lot more money than the Fab 4.
Forgot to add, I carry pictures of Chairman Mao and I am making it with somebody (anyhow)
-
orly?
(http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26100000/The-Beatles-with-cats-the-beatles-26185824-300-300.jpg)
(http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26100000/The-Beatles-with-cats-the-beatles-26185824-300-300.jpg)
cats
bastard
-
Furthermore...
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzY3NjA3NTcy.html?s=109574
u better leave their kitten alone.
-
How come every time I pull out a 100 RMB note, I have an urge to buy things for cats?
-
How come every time I pull out a 100 RMB note, I have an urge to buy things for cats?
It is nothing to worry about. Every time I am given a 100RMB note I go looking for a pussy.
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/maintenance.jpg)
Chinese traffic sign meaning "Honk Louder!"
-
Corruption ahead for the next 8 kilometres
-
Caution: BS shovelers ahead.
-
Caution: Lazy picketer, won't even pick up his sign
-
Must be from the local gov't. It says "in the next 24h" and that was a week ago. It should be finished by mid-March uuuuuuuuuu
-
Relax. He didn't say which "next 24 hours" the upgrade would happen in. agagagagag
-
Must be from the local gov't. It says "in the next 24h" and that was a week ago. It should be finished by mid-March uuuuuuuuuu
it's all about the relativity theory... agagagagag
-
Must be from the local gov't. It says "in the next 24h" and that was a week ago. It should be finished by mid-March uuuuuuuuuu
it's all about the relativity theory... agagagagag
literally
-
Noles been working on the upgrade
All the live-long day.
Noles been working on the upgrade
Just to pass the time away.
agagagagag
-
Must be from the local gov't. It says "in the next 24h" and that was a week ago. It should be finished by mid-March uuuuuuuuuu
Mid March is a week away. Maybe he's shooting for an Ides of March theme avatar
The response is "Et tu?"
-
Must be from the local gov't. It says "in the next 24h" and that was a week ago. It should be finished by mid-March uuuuuuuuuu
Mid March is a week away. Maybe he's shooting for an Ides of March theme avatar
The response is "Et tu?"
Beware the Ides of Noles. aoaoaoaoao
-
New avatar, I hope that's not the route the pilot of MH370 took bibibibibi
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/hole.jpg)
It started with interconnecting regional subways in China. Then things got a little out of hand.
-
That's one hell of a transfer point
-
The infrastructure may be somewhat lacking, but its paved with good intentions
-
How did I get here? I was just walking down the street, minding my own business, and I accidentally fell down a hole. ahahahahah
-
"Oh Dear. Oh Dear. I shall be too late."
-
My mother warned me that if I chased rabbits I could end up in some very strange places. ahahahahah
-
It's a good thing we don't live on a Jupiter sized planet, China-140,000km. That could take a while
-
At last, a shortcut for my evening commute.
-
(http://raoulschinasaloon.com/forumpic/comingsoon.jpg)
Be afraid. Be very afraid. aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
-
I'm waiting for a V.8
-
Will V.4 correct typos or better yet, censor EL?
-
Will V.4 correct typos or better yet, censor EL?
i wish... however, it will allow you to take the typos and EL to private places and lay the smack down on them aoaoaoaoao :wtf:
-
So DD and I will have out own private place to
get naked and spank each other discuss serious issues related to misspellings?
cbcbcbcbcb cbcbcbcbcb cbcbcbcbcb
That's great! We used to have to rent hotel rooms for that sort of thing. afafafafaf
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i wish... however, it will allow you to take the typos and EL to private places and lay the smack down on them aoaoaoaoao :wtf:
So DD and I will have out own private place to get naked and spank each other discuss serious issues related to misspellings?
That's great! We used to have to rent hotel rooms for that sort of thing.
kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
I'm weird, I'm not that demented or twisted kkkkkkkkkk- kkkkkkkkkk count me out
kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkk
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Oh, that's right. We're not supposed to talk about our special meetings in public. People might get jealous.
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Oh, that's right. We're not supposed to talk about our special meetings in public. People might get jealous.
Keeps us from knowing where to plant the bomb.
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Really off topic, but if El and I ever have any " special meetings in public" as he described, I'm telling you were to plant that bomb
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Oh, that's right. We're not supposed to talk about our special meetings in public. People might get jealous.
Keeps us from knowing where to plant the bomb.
See. I told you people would get jealous. ahahahahah
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ananananan
Where's our avatar?
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Give Noles a little more time. He's still trying to figure out how to dim the lights and lower the window shades.
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Give Noles a little more time. He's still trying to figure out how to dim the lights and lower the window shades.
So our next avatar is going to be dim and shady?
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Give Noles a little more time. He's still trying to figure out how to dim the lights and lower the window shades.
So our next avatar is going to be dim and shady?
Isn't it always that way? ahahahahah
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(http://www.weirdhut.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/chinese-tiger-dog-550x410.jpg)
http://www.weirdhut.com/animals/bizzare-pet-trends-in-china/
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I find that very sad. It seems to be more about the owners needs, rather than the animal's. Thanks for that Calach; it has to be seen to be believed.
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That is why pets aren't allowed in the zoo. afafafafaf
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I find that very sad. It seems to be more about the owners needs, rather than the animal's. Thanks for that Calach; it has to be seen to be believed.
The tiger dog looks not only healthy, but also happy. The panda dogs don't look too annoyed. I'd be a bit worried about how the made the lion dogs - shaving large areas of a dog's coat can sometimes have bad effects.
As long as the dyes used aren't toxic, I don't see this as any worse than dressing a dog up in a silly costume.
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As long as the dyes used aren't toxic, I don't see this as any worse than dressing a dog up in a silly costume.
I think that is sad too EL. I can't believe that an animal, particularly a dog, enjoys being dressed up. bibibibibi Again, I believe that it tells one a lot about the owner. bfbfbfbfbf
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I think most dogs enjoy it. They wait until the owner turns away, start gnawing on the costume, and get the most entertaining reaction when the owner notices. ahahahahah
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(http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n313/escapedlunatic/Silly%20Photos/BoxHeads.jpg)
I can't think up a caption. I think I'm experiencing writers block. ahahahahah
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That's because you're only 50% blockhead.
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Occulus Ripped - an upcoming actual reality headset
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A response to Andy Samburg's "Di@k In A Box"?
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(http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n313/escapedlunatic/SecondHoneymoon/PCorApple.jpg)
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I'm still trying to figure out of it's a Mac that runs Windows or a PC that runs Mac. mmmmmmmmmm
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Merry Christmas!
(http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5247/5315212627_32d9e08aef_z.jpg)
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I think it's time we all learned some baluable lessons.
(http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n313/escapedlunatic/Signs/Core-Socialist-Balues.jpg)
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What is that notice all about EL?
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VERY roughly: The view of the old village merges with contemporary scenes.
Traditional and modern merge together.
Culture and spirit do something(?)
Protecting historical heritage cultivates the inner quality of people
Providing the old village with vitality and ?? of contemporary civilization.
Obviously, I need a second wife to aid in translations. ahahahahah
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Obviously, I need a second wife to aid in translations. ahahahahah
Vut vigamy is berbotten.
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Thanks EL! I get the idea. Don't look for a second wife. bfbfbfbfbf
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And it's that time of year again, so . . .
Merry Christmas!
(http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5247/5315212627_32d9e08aef_z.jpg)
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Thanks EL! Merry Christmas to you and everyone at the Saloon. agagagagag
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(http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n313/escapedlunatic/Silly%20Photos/Historic-Dinner-Party.jpg)
(Click image for larger version)
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What an interesting picture; thanks EL! bfbfbfbfbf
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I'm glad you like it. I spotted it at the Lijiang airport and spent a little time trying to get a half-decent photo of it.
I've researched it some more. The original is a little wider and is titled Discussing the Divine Comedy with Dante. Here's an article which talks about some of the people in it and reveals who painted it:
http://www.china.org.cn/culture/2009-03/18/content_17464951.htm