Movie/film thread: resurrected

Jurassic World

Box office three days ago was in the vicinity of 850 million USD. Everyone - producers, director, actors, viewers, ticket buyers - you should all go sit in a corner and think about what you've done.

Spring (2014)

A romance with a twist (I won't spoil it). Entertaining and, I thought, well done - you just have to suspend your disbelief. 

EDIT: ... or should that be "done well" Is it a movie or a steak?... 

"MAGIC MIKE XXL"  This is the continuing story of Magic Mike, the male stripper.  The ladies may get something out of this even if it is only eye candy. To be honest, I found it too slow.

"TED 2": Being about a Teddy Bear in a relationship with a human, I wondered if writers had run out of ideas. Even though it was rated MA15, I saw a few kids in the theatre  who probably slipped under the radar. To be honest, I just found it unnecessarily crude and I'm VERY broadminded.

Spy (2015)

Melissa McCarthy is a deskbound analyst/handler for CIA agent Bradley Fine. Overweight, underappreciated, and strung along, she is thrust unprepared into the field when Bradley bites the big one and no one else is left. She has to retrieve a missing suitcase nuke before it falls into terrorist hands!!!

Neat movie. Turns some tropes around for fun and is an enjoyable ride. A much more entertaining take on spy glam, imho, than the recent Kingsman.

 

Dragon Blade (2015)

So it turns out, foreigners in Chinese media aren't turgid lumps of wood because they have no acting chops. China alone does it to them. Witness for instance John Cusack in this bizarre historical fantasy. By Beijing opera standards he and a large collection of no-names probably did adequately. In foreign terms, really only Adrien Brody did any better than a cardboard cutout might have. I can't really judge the local talent. Jackie Chan did okay.

But the big winner by the end, towering over all, was the bloodthirsty new Rome subtext. If this movie is to be believed, and perhaps it should be, then we are all going to die. In a fire. And by sword. Killed by the new centurions. For they are making us into friends, one death blow at a time.

 

I Watched this piece of cinematic fecal matter and was laughing all through it.

Hollywood Adventures (横冲直撞好莱坞) (2015)

A Chinese language movie in Los Angeles, starring Zhao Wei, Huang Xiaoming and Tong Dawei, and really fun, with lots of rollicking, nearly absurdist adventures, and good laughs. And juuuuust enough substance to be not highbrow at all but certainly entertaining. A middle-of-the-road farce. So, a Chinese cast with American writing? I wonder how it'll do in China. In any case, my crush on Zhao Wei is rekindled.

 

Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015)

The highlight for me was the montage of dog dicks. Really. Then there was the six minutes of credit roll listing, by name, every Kickstarter donor. They made this movie possible, and now we know their names. Now, I like cheesy 80s movies. I watched The Black Hole just recently goddammit! But Dude Bro Party Massacre III has left me unsure of myself and my choices in life.


/sizzler

Murderer (Saat yan faan) (2009)

I saw a review of this that said "a rollercoaster ride filled with entirely inappropriate emotions". This is true. For best enjoyment, don't look for spoilers. Do note, the first few minutes are gory. After that, for about an hour, this is a fairly accomplished, genuinely intense HK police thriller whodunnit. And then something very unusual happens. Something. Very. Unusual.

 

Gunhed (1989)

One of Alan Smithee's finest efforts, which could actually have been a good movie, if only they had not jumbled it so much. They could have ditched the vast stretches of scale model nonsense and just left cigar smoking Texas Air Ranger Brenda Bakke onscreen.



Hey Brooklyn. Good luck. if I don't see you again, it's been swell.

/cult crushes

Terminator Genisys (2015)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo.......


That was not Sarah Connor, and that was not Kyle Reese.

"HOLDING THE MAN":  Timothy Conigrave's 1994 memoir is an Australian literary classic. The story of Conigrave's relationship with John Caleo, after they met as students in College in Melbourne in 1976, is a story with wide appeal. It is full of humour and humanity, with an honest approach to sex. I spoke to some male friends of mine who also go to see lots of movies and one asked if there was any kissing in it. When I said that there was, plus naked bodies etc, the guys indicated that they were not interested. I tried to persuade them about the really great acting which really impressed me. I'm sorry that they probably won't see a great movie based on a true story.

Terminator Genisys (2015)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo.......


That was not Sarah Connor, and that was not Kyle Reese.

It's hard to get people who can fully match the original actors.

I did appreciate the wide array of twists from the expected.


SPOILER ALERT!  Stop reading now if you hate spoilers.


Arnold vs. Arnold - HELL YEAH!!!   If only that fight scene could have gone on longer.  Let's wait for the director's cut and see.

What?  No T-X model Terminator?

I want to see The Equalizer go after John Wick.

It's hard to get people who can fully match the original actors.

I don't think they even partly matched. Sarah Connor learns about the future and gets chubby? Kyle Reese gets thrown a curve ball and turns all lackadaisical? Pffft.

That wasn't John Connor either. I could see the floppy nancy kid from Terminator 2 growing up to be Christian Bale, but this other dude?


Terminator Genisys takes place in a telemovie universe, and shall not be consider canon.