What's in the News

Raoul's - Bet you wish you were in Dalian today 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100503/ap_on_re_as/as_nkorea_china_kim_jong_il

Reclusive North Korean leader Kim Jong Il  arrived on a luxury 17-car train in China on Monday

Our Leader can do better than that - RD can arrive on one of these.

     ummm ... you have to look at the writing on the heat-shield

[attachment removed for space reason by admin]

I like the RAINBOW on the exhaust pipe. It is fairy  very nice

 

Kim 2's crashing at the Furama and Ren Min Lu is closed between ShiJi jie and Gangwan Qiao. That's why it took almost 2 hours to get to work this morning. Can't we just put him on a skow and send him back where he came from? (Hope his own navy doesn't misfire a torpedo his way) 

This just in:

This just in, folks! On his way from home after work last night, our intoxicated intrepid reporter stopped at a bar downtown and guess who he met. None other than Kim Jong II, supreme beloved despot and benevolent king-for-life of the Democratic People’s Republic of Somewhere Over the Rainbow! Our intoxicated intrepid reporter quickly mooched a drink and procured this exclusive interview.

Reporter:   Welcome to Dalian, Kimmy. Are you here to conduct secret high level international negotiations, or to enlist Chinese support for your country, or are you here for the golf?

Kim Jong II:   Well I am here on a tourist visa, though I’ve been told that it can be changed. That’s all right, isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like I’ve been caught working on it. I haven’t started my first class yet. But I’m hoping to on Monday.

R:   Your first class?

KJ2:   Yes. You see, I wanted to get in on the ground, check out the schools in person before signing a contract. So I came in on the holiday and spent today visiting all the language mills. Too many horror stories on the internet about people who come and find the reality so different from what was promised.

R:   Ahh, so you’re interested in various educational models to help your own country.

KJ2:   No, I’m not interested in opening a new school. I’m looking for work as a foreign language teacher. It’s OK to work on a tourist visa, isn’t it? Please don’t tell anyone.

R:   Kimster, why would the supreme leader of an entire nation want to give it all up and teach in a foreign country?

KJ2:   Why would anyone? Look, I’ve gone about as far as I can in my field. It’s not like I can go any higher than supreme beloved despot. And I have to admit, I’m getting stale in my work. Playing games of nuclear arms hide-and-seek, playing border games with the south, begging my international neighbors for humanitarian aide and weapons; it all gets to be the same after a while. I need a new challenge.

R:   I can see that. So why Dalian?

KJ2:   Well, it’s not too far away, so if I get tired or bored or homesick, I can catch the train and come home for a short visit. Can you say the same? Didn’t think so. Also, the climate is nice, and the air isn’t very polluted. Besides, I’ve read that Dongbei girls really rock.

R:   Yes, I’ve heard that too. So what do you think?

KJ2:   Mixed results. The girls here are very pretty, especially when they smile. Some of them have faces that, as we say back home, would stop an armoured train. Unfortunately, the way some of them frown, you’d think they already had. You would think no one had ever offered to buy them a cola before. That’s a big thing where I come from.
The city is really nice, but I can’t believe how expensive it is! I don’t know about you, but this foreigner can’t afford to live here, not on a despot’s salary. And the salaries they’ve been offering me are nothing like what I make back home. I tell you, if I don’t get something good this week, I may just pack it in and go back to being a dictator. Or maybe I’ll try Thailand. Seems like my kind of place. I like those funky red shirts people are wearing.

R:   Well, good luck with the career change. I’ll have another, if you’re buying.

KJ2:   Sure, why not? Say, is that girl smiling at me?

Brilliant scoop, Latefordinner. 

If working as an EFL teacher is a preferred job for second rate dictators, it explains would explain quite a lot.

After 7 months at sea - sailing unassisted, this 16yr old Aussie has just crossed the finish line at Sydney this morning.

Unfortunatley for Jess, this wont be an official record due to the fact that she didnt sail enough nautical miles and is under 18.   But what a mammouth effort. 219 days at sea. Capsizing 6 times!!! Once would be enough to turn me off.  

Congratulations  

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Asia/Story/STIStory_530038.html

Apparently the government is planning to have quotas for the number of foreigners living in China.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Asia/Story/STIStory_530038.html

Apparently the government is planning to have quotas for the number of foreigners living in China.

If enforced it will probably only be in the big smokes, and it's probably a p. c. way of them really saying, "we want to keep the dark skinned men out" without actually saying it. Unless you're here with a visa shuffle, I doubt this will be enforced much with people in efl and on the up and up.

Yea, reading between the lines I'm sure teacher's quotas would be increased. There's a number of issues with the Africans (not putting blame anywhere) and there seems to be an uneasy tention with the local police

Condom Maker Rejects Faulty Product Claim (from Shenzhen Daily) http://szdaily.sznews.com/html/2010-05/25/content_1086287.htm

CONDOM maker Wuhan Jissbon Hygiene Co. said Sunday that its condoms had no direct link to a Shenzhen customer’s premature ejaculation and depression.

Sounds like a faulty user to me.

Yeah, CMatt. Am I the only one who thinks its funny that condoms come in a box with a set of instructions (that is mostly just advertising anyway)? Ahh well, Jissbon should just tell the guy to RtFM.

This just in... Somali fishermen attacked by Dutch cargo ship. (From The Telagraph, UK)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/piracy/7764885/Pirates-claim-they-just-fishing-for-sharks...-with-rocket-launchers.html

Five Somali men have protested that they were shark fisherman not pirates despite being intercepted off Somalia's coast after attacking a Dutch vessel with rocket launchers and assault rifles.
Europe's first modern trial for the 17th century crime of "sea robbery" has opened in Rotterdam amid protestations of innocence from the accused.

The men, facing jail terms of nine to 12 years, are accused of attacking and attempting to hijack the Samanyolu, a Dutch Antilles-flagged ship, while it was sailing in the Gulf of Aden in January 2009.

The ship's Turkish crew beat off the attack by firing signal flares at the Somali boat, destroying it. Danish marines then rescued and arrested the Somalis before handing them over to Dutch authorities.

Farah Ahmed Yusuf, 25, accused the cargo ship of attacking the Somalis after engine failure had forced them to abandon their shark fishing expedition and seek help.

"The intention was to fish," he said.

"As we came closer, we put our hands in the air. While we had our hands in the air, they shot at us. They attacked us."

Another accused man, Sayid Ali Garaar, 39, said: "We were not pirates, we were fishermen. There were no weapons."

The Samanyulo's crew, expected to give evidence later in the week, have accused the suspected pirates of shooting at their vessel with automatic weapons and a rocket-propelled grenade launcher.

Don't you just feel sorry for those poor fishermen? <snigger>