What's in the News

I have had Marmite and I fully understand my country's decision to outlaw the stuff

I have had Marmite and I fully understand my country's decision to outlaw the stuff

Just for that New Zealand will ban all Danish girls from our country ....    ...  ........ on second thoughts, you can keep the ban 

  I will have to think of another plan

"What am I supposed to put on my toast now?" British advertising executive Colin Smith, who has lived in the country for six years, asked the Guardian.

I guess he's never heard of jam or butter.

The Kiwi favourite has been outlawed by legislation that prohibits products fortified with added vitamins, the Guardian reports.

What do Danes have against vitamins?

This means war !

Alright!  Another war, and this time with entertaining participants.  Time to make some popcorn and turn on CNN.

Official reports suggest marmite is more deadly than anthrax!

Okaaaayyy...all the Brits and Kiwis take a large chill pill...Having researched the issue, I can now tell you what is the what.
Firstly, Denmark has not banned or outlawed Marmite. This is an idiotic dumbass response from one little store. See, in the EU, to which Denmark belongs, enriched food or food with added vitamins are not that common. It is because, due to the Danish Department of Health, enriched foods are viewed sceptically, certain doctors fear that eating them along with normal food can lead to health issues.
Now, what has happened is that one store, one little store, was caught selling imported food like Marmite without permission. See, if you import food, like Marmite, with intention to sell you need a permit so you can be fleeced by the Tax monsters. This douchebag then proceeded to blow the story out of proportion. You can still buy Marmite in Denmark, just in stores who sell it legally.
So for those of you who are in Denmark, you can get your Marmite fix...for those not in Denmark, I am sure there are more upsetting news one can find and get frustrated about...

Alright!  Another war, and this time with entertaining participants.  Time to make some popcorn and turn on CNN.

Right? Like CNN could find either New Zealand or Denmark on a map.

Let's invade Afghanistan
Wait, this doesn't look like Afghanistan
Welcome Americans to Iraq
Iraq? Meh, close enough


(1940s)
We are at war with Japan
Let's imprison all the Chinese
Meh, close enough


We hate that small Caribbean island, let's invade Cuba
Wait, this doesn't look like Cuba
Welcome Americans to Greneda
Greneda? Meh, close enough

I just hope the Marmite marketing exec who first got the newspapers in a flap gets a good payrise. Fantastic free advetising.

Time to make some popcorn and turn on CNN.

News to hand from ericthered, that Marmite is not banned in Denmark, just unlicensed, has done nothing to remove the threat of war between the two countries.

New Zealand has invoked the 'just because there are no weapons of mass destruction does not mean there are no other good reasons for going to war' mantra with the UN. Its govt is studying aerial photos of Danish girls to see if Marmite is being concealed in secret places.

Denmark is denying that it has developed a Marmite production facility of its own. The head sherang of Denmark has stated that news of a ban on Marmite from NZ was a rumour started by groups associated with El Ikea. 'It is all a big mistake,' he said. 'Everybody in Denmark loves Marmite.'

Meanwhile, American generals have ordered a larger globe for the War Room as they continue to try and locate both countries.  

  

    

The Grand Pajandrum of Denmark, in alliance with the Akond of Swat in Sweden and thae odd Cousin It creature that rules Norway, has decreed a Full Moon Day, where the inhabitants are legally obliged to go out, drop trou and point their pale bottoms at the sky in hope of insulting American spy satellites. Meanwhile the Danish National Female Beach Volley Team, the Swedish Women's Institute for Massage and the Norwegian National Stripper-robics Team has descended upon strategic places in America. So far, 99 % of the Armend Forces have been rendered useless. As the island where Copenhagen is found is called Zealand, a message have been sent to New Zealand the wording of which was, "I er edderhyleme nogle skvatmikler, klamphuggere, kraftidioter og slapsvanse! Can't even think of an original name for you island, losers! Not only will we ban Marmite, but we will take this new Zealand and force you all to eat pickled herring and watch really, really horrible social-realisctic movies!"..New Zealand has yet to respond. In the mean time, in the War Room in America, plans have been made to capet-bomb Greenland. The first casualties in the Marmite War has been Snorri Snorrison whose kayak was torpedoed with a 100 megaton nuclear torpedo and an assorted number of penguins...

 

New Zealand has invoked the 'just because there are no weapons of mass destruction does not mean there are no other good reasons for going to war' mantra with the UN. Its govt is studying aerial photos of Danish girls to see if Marmite is being concealed in secret places.
   

Although the US is fully neutral in this issue (carpet bombing Greenland was just a training exercise, plus I'm sure that there are terrorists hiding something there), I just found out that there are consequences to filling in that draft registration card back in the 1980's.

I'm going to be deployed with an elite group of highly trained perverts commandos.  Our mission is to infiltrate both countries and thoroughly search as many girls as we can, just to find out what sorts of things they may be hiding in secret places.

  I am so proud to serve my country.

Quote from: xwarrior on May 27, 2011, 02:36:23 AM

New Zealand has invoked the 'just because there are no weapons of mass destruction does not mean there are no other good reasons for going to war' mantra with the UN. Its govt is studying aerial photos of Danish girls to see if Marmite is being concealed in secret places.   

Although the US is fully neutral in this issue (carpet bombing Greenland was just a training exercise, plus I'm sure that there are terrorists hiding something there), I just found out that there are consequences to filling in that draft registration card back in the 1980's.

I'm going to be deployed with an elite group of highly trained perverts commandos.  Our mission is to infiltrate both countries and thoroughly search as many girls as we can, just to find out what sorts of things they may be hiding in secret places.

  I am so proud to serve my country.

Sources close to the Pentagon are trying to confirm reports that the PEALS. commonly referred to as Perverts, Exhibitionists and Lunatics, have been placed on priority alert.

This elite Navy unit is especially trained to seek out foreign objects in places no sunlight has entered. Members of this unit are selected for their special skills, including an ability to release bra catches while blindfolded.

The US Central Command has rejected claims that it is unable to locate Denmark on a map. 'People do not realise how hard it is to find one country in a big, big world,' said General Marcus Upp III.

US Intelligence is now utilising high=tech locaters (code-named Google) to track down Denmark. It is now believed that New Zealand is off the edge of the map and US authorities, invoking the Homeland Act, have seized documents referring to the British Empire from Wikipedia in an attempt get the co-ordinates needed for arming missiles.

The Sherang of Denmark has ordered that selected citizens undertake compulsory military service . All blonde females measuring more than 34DD in a prone position have been ordered to report to the nearest army base.       

In Sweden, a special meeting of the Nobel Peace Prize Commitee has awarded a second prize to Barack Obama. In announcing the award, the Committee noted that the award is for "the American president who has declared the least number of wars in a 12 month period."

Meanwhile, the government of New Zealand has announced that a battalion of Master Grocers has embarked on the inter-island ferry. This unit is fully trained to re-supply the citizens of Denmark with Marmite.   

In Sweden, a special meeting of the Nobel Peace Prize Commitee has awarded a second prize to Barack Obama. In announcing the award, the Committee noted that the award is for "the American president who has declared the least number of wars in a 12 month period."

Ha ha ha!  genius.  (But the sad thing is that could be true some time in the not-too-distant future!)

Hmph. Eric, don't think we don't have painfully detailed satellite photos of all your asses already. We do. Such additional display will only add to our data files and help us affix the appropriate nozzles to our drones.

Perhaps your countries should remember your dealings with the old Soviet Union, when you all agreed to stop harassing Soviet subs in your waters, in exchange for the Soviets' promise to not blow the upper three meters of your countries' land masses into the stratosphere?

Anyway, this is one of the few places where I actually agree with Denmark. The sale of noxious substances such as Marmite or Vegemite should require a 14-day waiting period, a thorough background check, and perhaps a sanity test as well.

This just boggles my mind and it comes from the same state that had illegal immigrants isues. 
 

A fat tax!

http://www.moneyville.ca/blog/post/996614--arizona-s-50-fat-tax-plan-a-demeaning-gesture?bn=1

Maybe they could switch to a Marmite or Vegemite diet, that'll make anybody stop eating and run away for miles