Is there an explanation?

I've got several "foreign" (mostly American) friends with little children here so I am no stranger to watching the little kids get mobbed by the locals who want to touch and take photos of them.  I haven't taken Levi, my new infant out much, but he, too was the center of attention in the hospital.  I'm trying to brace myself for a "get used to it" change of situation where I was just one random foreigner who only occasionally got attention to now having a little American baby.   I don't exactly like the mob swarming after the foreigner children, but I know it's just a part of things here.    Some of my friends live with it, tolerating it.  Others ended up going home early because the kids couldn't handle it.

 I've even seen some touching of foreign kids that would be considered not just inappropriate in the States but would land someone in jail.   I almost punched a lady at the hospital who almost touched my son's little part when his diaper was getting changed.....

But does anyone know why this is?  Why do the locals feel it's alright to take photos of foreign kids?  Why do they feel it's alright to touch them?  Just curious. 

Why do the locals feel it's alright to take photos of foreign kids?

Same reason we take photos of Chinese kids.

I think they just don't think about it really. I don't think it is a conscientious choice to do something that might make someone upset, or even that they even really pause and consider it for the half-second that it might take to realize that taking pictures of other people's kids without asking isn't ok. The photo takers, if you notice, are usually the ones without kids of their own, and the touchy feely folks tend to grandparents/older people who have issues with boundaries in general. I think in general the Chinese culture is more communal about children and people do not get up in arms about other people disciplining their children, or offering food to strangers' kids, picking up someone's kid, all stuff that would really ruffle feathers back home.

That stuff I don't mind really, but the picture taking bothers me because it is something that only happens with foreign/mixed kids. Most people don't bust out cameras for Chinese kids, no matter how cute they are. We took Dylan out to the Midi festival this past weekend and people took loads and loads of pictures of him, and I'd say that they probably asked for permission about 50% of the time. If I feel like it I'll block people from taking pictures without permission by getting into the shot or walking away. Dylan does not make much of the picture taking probably because he's grown up with the attention. It is positive for now, but I worry about later on. I don't want him to feel like he's more special than other kids because he's constantly being told how cute/smart/awesome mixed kids are, nor do I want him to feel like an outcast because people are constantly pointing out his differences (even if they mean it in a positive way). So as he gets older we have to figure out how to handle all the extra attention.

George posted while I did, but I don't take pictures of random Chinese kids. Not without asking their parents anyhow. Do most foreigners do this?

I almost punched a lady at the hospital who almost touched my son's little part when his diaper was getting changed.....
 

Handjob from an older lady thwarted by mom. How embarrassing?

I almost punched a lady at the hospital who almost touched my son's little part when his diaper was getting changed.....

  That is just creepy. I think if it was me, I would have hightailed it back to the states after I made sure the perpetrator had totally lost face.  
Yea, I tend to flip out about stuff like that.

I think it goes along with a combination of not being taught manners and no cause-effect -action-reaction filter or thought process.

The thought comes into their head and is immediately processed with no filters of right-wrong or good-bad manners or cause-effect ..... very similar to a child's actions ....

And if you think the picture taking and grabbing are bad ..... wait for the whistling and clapping and finger-snapping they do to get your child's attention .... just like whistling for a dog .... that drives me nuts!

I don't think there is a valid explanation, but it is something you will have to learn to live with. I agree with KunmingJess that there is no consideration of the fact that is might be offensive but that doesn't necessarily make it easier to live with. And I actually think the photo taking is just the same, if they saw an especially interesting Chinese child they would also just take a picture without asking.

You've got to remember this culture has WAY less personal boundaries than in the West (and not in a good way, for the most part, in my opinion). Frequently there are so-called news reports on TV about people in hospital for various weird and wonderful diseases, last week I saw one about a mentally and physically handicapped man who was 21 yrs old but looked like an 18month old toddler. The report was basically just a freak show disguised as journalism. And every time there is a natural disaster like an earthquake, there are all these (very intrusive) reports from inside hospitals with injured people or people who have lost their families or whatever, or maybe just with medical staff talking about someone who is unconscious. This would never be allowed in the UK and I find it really disturbing so I asked my husband why this kind of thing is allowed - he says some of it is the people featured in these reports probably need money for hospital treatment and the TV station offers to pay them.

Tips for dealing with it:
1. Get a pram/stroller with a sun shade/cover that you can pull down to hide your child. Even my nanny resorts to this sometimes, like today when she went to the market and everyone was asking about my beautiful youngest son who is 10months old, very pale with curly hair.
2. When you don't like what is going on but are in a good mood, just play dumb ie ruin their pictures by turning around, walk on as they try to get you to stop so they can look at your beautiful child
3. When you are feeling less tolerant, tell people they are doing something you don't like - you don't have to be rude, just an abrupt "bu keyi" should do the trick. My (Chinese) husband doesn't like it when I do this but he understands my need to protect my kids and my space. Good luck...

I almost punched a lady at the hospital who almost touched my son's little part when his diaper was getting changed...

The first thing that my Chinese mother-in-law did - when we presented our three month old son to her - was to remove his nappy and check that he had a penis.  I dread to think what the reaction would have been if we had chosen that moment to say, 'Only kidding, we had a girl!'

Or perhaps the Chinese M-I-L doesn't trust you to know the difference.

Anyway. I think the approach when in crowds here is to learn to smile and say in Chinese, "Yes, we're lucky...he seems quite healthy despite having been born with full-blown AIDS..."

More seriously...the Chinese do seem to genuinely consider Western babies to be the world standard for baby beauty. I guess it might be the product of years of all those hyper-beautiful Western babies seen in movies, advertising, and so on...plus a tendency to be seriously freaked by blue eyes...

You've got to remember this culture has WAY less personal boundaries than in the West (and not in a good way, for the most part, in my opinion). Frequently there are so-called news reports on TV about people in hospital for various weird and wonderful diseases, last week I saw one about a mentally and physically handicapped man who was 21 yrs old but looked like an 18month old toddler. The report was basically just a freak show disguised as journalism. And every time there is a natural disaster like an earthquake, there are all these (very intrusive) reports from inside hospitals with injured people or people who have lost their families or whatever, or maybe just with medical staff talking about someone who is unconscious. This would never be allowed in the UK and I find it really disturbing so I asked my husband why this kind of thing is allowed - he says some of it is the people featured in these reports probably need money for hospital treatment and the TV station offers to pay them.

Sounds exactly like American news reporting (all networks, all political leanings). 

Well, all that attention does sound annoying and we'll find out all about it in a couple of months (due date in mid-october), but I'd like to say that in comparison to other Asian countries, POSITIVE attention is always better than open displays of racism and hatred.
We (Chinese hubby, French-Canadian wifey) just recently moved here from Seoul and one of the main reasons for us to start a new life in China was to avoid the discrimination our mixed race baby would get there. Most Koreans view foreigners as inferior (although they sure like US and Canada passports, but that's another story), and mixed race people as some kind of aberration (although all the plastic surgery they get makes them look like caucasian-korean mixes... go figure.) One in a while you'll get some older folk look at these babies in prams and say something like *curse* mixed western rubish thing *curse*... How flattering... It even happened to Korean women with Western husbands...
So with that in mind, I think I will try to appreciate the attention our little underbaked fortune cookie will get! (But no "stranger's finger in baby's mouth" thank you!)

Nice to see another Western woman with a Chinese husband on board! Welcome!

As an update to this, I'll say that the extra attention has recently, maybe just within the past couple of months, started to bother my oldest. He gets very screechy with people trying to touch him and "pet" him and he's gotten particularly peevish with elderly ladies. He's also finally started to stay things like "mama's a waiguoren" but if I suggest he's also a "waiguoren" he gets rather upset -- which sort of concerns me since that's how practically 90% of the Chinese population identifies him, usually calling him "xiao laowai" or "yang wawa." Of course he's just as Chinese as he is foreign but with his blonde-ish hair and big brown eyes no one here sees him that way.

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