I got mail !!!!

My Beloved‏
From:    HENDRIETTA ZULU (info.zulu.govt@gmail.com)
   Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent:    Saturday, February 20, 2010 9:17:50 AM
To:    
   
Attachments:    1 attachment
   Ms .Hendr...pdf (23.3 KB)

Since this email has arrived a whole lot of questions have been on my mind:
- should I open it or wait until next Valentine's Day?
- how can a love letter be classified as "Junk"?
- do I know this girl and have (as usual) forgotten her name?
- should I ignore the gender issues of her name?   
- does Medium Risk imply that there is a chance you can get STD's from opening this?
- is the Zulu Govt like the govt of China and only employ beautiful girls ove 5'10"?   
- does she want to make me an offer I would find hard to refuse?

Has anyone else got a message like this? What advice can you give?


 

 

On a sort of related note, but maybe a little more worrying:

Over the past week I have had maybe half-a-dozen emails purporting to be coming from Jolly Junk Lass.  These emails are empty - no subject line, nothing inside. 

I'm wondering if someone or some program has hacked her mailing list, and sending these to everyone on it - maybe spreading viruses.  After the 1st one, I deleted them without opening (hoping I'm actually not deleting something important  ), but is anyone else getting these too?

There are these e-mails going around from supposed MSN contacts inviting you to see who has blocked you on MSN. I believe this is the source of the virus currently infecting my MSN.

NONONO, its my ex slutty g/f. She promised to stop doing this. But then again its how we met.

Its one of those, "I promise to love you because you've done so much for me. My father was killed by the (insert small African country here) gov't and seized his money that must go to me. Please call this bank and make arrangement to get the $14M and I will share it with you. Then we can live together and I'll show you how much I love you yaddayaddayadda.

So far, 23 girls owe me about about $5m each. I'm going to be so rich 

Here's an actual letter I once received

Hello My Dearest,
                   
              How are you doing hope fine, and very happy to hear from you, my dear i understand all you said, but you know my condition here in the camp and the reason why i contacted you to help me out of here i will love to stay with you if you will help me i promise to spend the rest of my life with you and make love with you,

   Please have you contacted the bank and what did they say  as you as you hear from them due let me know okey , i love you so such, i will be waiting to hear from you again have a nice and a lovely day with love,
Your's in love Fabian

Included was a pic of an attractive 20-something nubian. I told her I was a 12 year old boy trolling for naked pics of nubians. That should shut HIM up

yeah, with that msn virus thing. Mine has been sending links to everyone that I know to some porn urls. It's almost as bad as QQ was.

Same here. And of course I'm getting messages on MSN directing me to porn sites, so who knows who was infected first? I also received a message from someone I haven't seen since last summer telling me that she had found a cure for the MSN virus, but as she was offline at the time I figured it was probably a new version of the old virus.

I really have not had much in the way of junk mail or spam until recently. In the last month though I have had to deal with:

* emails from Day Dreamer's slutty gf, and her friends, offering eternal love etc

* emails relating to the usual millions that can be released into my bank account if I would just forward a few basic details like my bank account number

* messages every day on Windows Live, from different girls, either saying 'hello' and nothing else, or suggesting that Viagra would make a difference to my life

Up to now I have not worried about it but now I am getting concerned about the source of their information for email add etc

Inreased social networking may be creating holes in my defences. I use Facebook (through the tunnel) most days and although I mostly ignore the different applications I have a feeling that some of them may be comprimised. Now that Facebook is not going to carry Notifications I am resisting the offer to have them sent by email.

Another more obvious pressure is coming from Badoo. While holed up in my room during the great freeze it was good to cruise through an hour of looking at photos of beautiful girls in China - sort of occupational therapy.
At my age the only unprompted reponses I got were from girls who wanted to meet men over the age of 45. What they had in common was:
* they were all from Africa (some have photos of European girls but somewhere in the Info is the word Accra or another clue
* they gave their location as some obscure city in China 
* after saying 'hello' they would ask for my 'Yahoo email add.'
After my reply that I would never use Yahoo for anything (I have my reasons) I never heard from them again.

Lotus Eater, I have not had anything from Jolly Junk Lass but is good to be fore-warned. Maybe some of the more techie guys can advise us of the significance of opening blank emails. To me they seem pointless but maybe that is not the case           

I also didn't get any spam until recently. Gmail filters it away into the spam folder, but it's still annoying.

Sorry, spammers, but I don't need viagra to satisfy my woman. 


Oh, and my work email got a request from the Bank of Greece to confirm my account details. Gee, I'd sure love to be investing my money in Greece at the moment!

As a general rule< I delete all the stuff in my spam folder without further ado, especially when the subject box reads "Hi!", but I was able to see the first line of the latest "hi!" and was so intrigued i decided to read it.  I reproduce it below for general edification.


Moo Cow, Moo Cow
Moo Cow, Moo Cow
How do you do, Cow?
Very well, thank you.
Moo, moo, moo.
Two Little Birds Sitting On a Wall
Two little birds
Sitting on a wall,
One called Peter
One called Paul.
Fly away Peter
Fly away Paul,
Come back Peter,
Come back Paul.
Ladybird, Ladybird,
Ladybird, Ladybird,
Fly away home,
Your house is on fire
Your children all gone.
This Little Pig,
This little pig went to market,
This little pig stayed at home,
This little pig had roast beef,
This little pig had none,
And this little pig went wee, wee, wee,
All the way home.

Ladybird, ladybird,
Come back Paul
Your children all gone.


That takes me back to a very long distant past when my long dead mother used to tweak my toes while reciting the little pig verses.  I've done the same little exercise with my wife (who's steadfastly refused to learn a word of English during the whole nearly eleven years we've been married) so she can play the game with her baby granddaughter, and instead of deleting the verses I've created a special folder for them which I've called "nice spam."  My anti virus guard assures me there are no viruses or even cookies, the sender doesn't ask for my bank details or offer me 500 packets of viagra at half the normal price or seek to enroll me on a course guaranteed to teach me fluent English from scratch in only 30 days.....  But perhaps I've missed some carefully camouflaged trap that someone else can detect? 

I really have not had much in the way of junk mail or spam until recently. In the last month though I have had to deal with:

The following extract from BBC News yesterday may explain the outbreak of spam in recent times:

Microsoft shuts down global spam network

Microsoft has won court approval to shut down a global network of computers which it says is responsible for more than 1.5bn spam messages every day.

A US judge granted the firm's request to shut down 277 internet domains, which it said were used to "command and control" the so-called Waledac botnet.

A botnet is a network of infected computers under the control of hackers.

The firm said that closing the domains would mean that up to 90,000 PCs would stop receiving orders to send out spam.

As for the content of the spam:

Many saw Waledac as a devastatingly active botnet. Microsoft cited one 18-day period between from 3-12 December when the botnet sent more than 650 million spam e-mails to Hotmail accounts for everything from online pharmacies to fake designer goods, jobs and more.

I was stupid and downloaded one of those 'christmas cards' sent by my students where it makes snow flakes fall all over your screen at random times no matter what application/program you are in.

After that I started noticing a lot of chinese pop-up ads as well. I took me forever to try to locate the downloaded file and where it installed itself on my computer but I finally got it to stop and from now on, no more downloading students stuff no matter how well meaning it is! 

I read somewhere that advertisers can track your movements on the internet and build up a profile of your interests, etc. By doing that they can target the advertisements sent to your email address.

After checking my Junk folder tonight I can't believe that. I do not need a watch!  



So, what is in your Junk folder?

  

I can vouch for Hendrietta Zulu.

He's a charming man with lovely photographs of itself.

If you can bring yourself to part with your credit card number, (s)he will give you unimaginable delights.

What's the risk?  Go for it!

Damn.  Hendrietta never emailed me.  On the other hand, I've got a hot date with General Abacha's widow planned as soon as I send her the money needed to get her dead husband's millions out of a secure storage facility.